Good day house, i need your contributions to solve some issues in my family.
My dad had two wives but unfortunately we were not treated equally. I was fortunate to attend unilag where my dad worked but I was not considered as a serious son of his. Thank God I am the only person to have education in the family. Since my dad overlooked me I didn't mind then I face my life alone. While he was alive we were told that he put my direct brother (first son ) name on his papers but by the time he got sick my step sister and the husband took over the finances. Since am I know Christ I didn't bother about the situation. Along the way my dad complain to me that the sister went to the school on several occasions to withdraw money from his account. What should I do since I didn't know the beginning.
Last month my dad passed away while they brought him from village with sickness to come and sign a document for them to collect money without our knowledge. Two weeks later after his death, the sister called my brother that the school just paid 720000naira to her account for my dad but she has spent 500000 naira on my dad before his death and she has to reduct the money and give the family 220000 naira.
Now the whole family disagree and she brought a written expenses not bills to present for her 500000 naira.
Since am the only one educated the family now look up to me to intervene bcs there are other money to be released from my dad pension.

I don't know how my senior brother name was changed initially to her name.

How can I go about the issue bcs we need money for my dad burial and she is holding the 720000 naira.

Your advice

Unfortunately that's what happens in some families when that their randy polygamous dad goes beyond. My advice is that you seek the services of a qualified lawyer in family issues

kastrobaba:
Good day house, i need your contributions to solve some issues in my family.
My dad had two wives but unfortunately we were not treated equally. I was fortunate to attend unilag where my dad worked but I was not considered as a serious son of his. Thank God I am the only person to have education in the family. Since my dad overlooked me I didn't mind then I face my life alone. While he was alive we were told that he put my direct brother (first son ) name on his papers but by the time he got sick my step sister and the husband took over the finances. Since am I know Christ I didn't bother about the situation. Along the way my dad complain to me that the sister went to the school on several occasions to withdraw money from his account. What should I do since I didn't know the beginning.
Last month my dad passed away while they brought him from village with sickness to come and sign a document for them to collect money without our knowledge. Two weeks later after his death, the sister called my brother that the school just paid 720000naira to her account for my dad but she has spent 500000 naira on my dad before his death and she has to reduct the money and give the family 220000 naira.
Now the whole family disagree and she brought a written expenses not bills to present for her 500000 naira.
Since am the only one educated the family now look up to me to intervene bcs there are other money to be released from my dad pension.

I don't know how my senior brother name was changed initially to her name.

How can I go about the issue bcs we need money for my dad burial and she is holding the 720000 naira.

Your advice

IMO: If you have the money to fund the burial then leave your sister, but if otherwise u're broke , Your sister needs to take authorization or approval from the family before spending any money. the family should request for a statement of account as well if dey dont trust her.

Also i believe the whole family should be able to look into the expenses she did with the 500k and determine if it true or not.

Your dad knws the reason why he trusted her or maybe non of you cared while he was alive.

It is unfortunate the situation the family is however, I will suggest you guys overlook that and take the N220k while you all rally round to raise funds to bury him within your means. You don't want to meddle in an affair you know nothing of at the beginning and I would advise you keep your head by minding your business.

Why are people like this. That's so evil of her.

If she's claiming that she had spent that amount on your dad before his death, fine. Can she provide receipts for all the acclaimed expenses? Is your dad's ailment that serious for she to have spent that kind of amount on him?, If no then she has no point. Get a good lawyer to file a case for the family.

But I'd advise that u let it slide. This is a very big family issue, and we all know how evil some families in Nigeria can be. In order to avoid seen and unseen future wahala just forget the matter. If it's love for money thats making her do such thing, let her be. God go take care of all expenses for the burial. Stay quiet and let your creator fight for u

@ tritritri
No I was not careless just that am not the type of person who depends on people. I stayed with my dad till I graduated from school but dad was secretive. When he got sick it was the time of my final year exams. My dad could not tell me dad he had money somewhere in the bank. The day I left for school to start my exams was when she came to the house with her husband and took my dad to the bank to withdraw money. That is the beginning of everything. My dad never open up to me in life. Even after they got the money they returned my dad to my mom in village and for a good two years none of them has visited till the time they needed the money again. To be frank with you my dad never trust her. My dad complained many times about the way she duped him. While we in my mother side were silent was bcs our uncle adviced us to pursue peace bcs their mother can go a long way to do anything to harm us. The silent was what make me and my siblings strongers

kastrobaba:
@ tritritri
No I was not careless just that am not the type of person who depends on people. I stayed with my dad till I graduated from school but dad was secretive. When he got sick it was the time of my final year exams. My dad could not tell me dad he had money somewhere in the bank. The day I left for school to start my exams was when she came to the house with her husband and took my dad to the bank to withdraw money. That is the beginning of everything. My dad never open up to me in life. Even after they got the money they returned my dad to my mom in village and for a good two years none of them has visited till the time they needed the money again. To be frank with you my dad never trust her. My dad complained many times about the way she duped him. While we in my mother side were silent was bcs our uncle adviced us to pursue peace bcs their mother can go a long way to do anything to harm us. The silent was what make me and my siblings strongers

My brother , I will repeat only your dad knws why he prefer to have told her dan you or the first born male. in most similar situation i've seen , this stage is just the beginning of trouble. After burial be ready for real war, except ur rich enuf to take ur mom away from there. step mom greeting issue to house sharing wahala / after dat then his son is doing well more dan mine wahala , after dat pastor or alfar told me the other wife is a witch wahala...U never see anything.

I like your half sister... she is just a smart young woman...
While you tune off your family and turned a blind eye to what was going on because according to you, you have received Christ.... She was busy taking care of Documents and changing things where necessary.... Only for u to wake up when it was late to imagine and question how she managed to do that.. Assuming u were paying attention u would have known..

However, I will simply suggest that you asked her to provide an authentic prove that she has spent so and so...let her get the bank statements, Receipt etc that shows evidence of what she has spent (hospital bills, drugs etc) totally reject all handwritten record because she can't use that to prove anything... anyone can write that... moreover that kind of amount she was claiming is not something small like bread or pepper bought in the market....

Please man, in future the fact that you are a Christian does not mean you should over look things concerning your family... The only thing I am hoping is that you people did not abandon your dad for your half sister to carter for while he was alive only to jump out from nowhere like vultures to eat the carcass(property ).

Say the truth, if you were there for your father why will your sister have the chance to secretly change names on documents? It sounds like she was the main carer for him and he later trusted her by giving her access to his account. She even tried by refunding N220K, some people will clear everything completely. Take the money, bury your dad and move on with your life.

Any attempt to ask any kwestion them prepare for spiritual battle

You people attacking the Op that he abandoned his father are not being fair to him.

How many of you are from polygamous homes and know the way these settings work?

Op, there is a strategy that you have employed and has worked for you even when your father was alive. I suggest you stick with that! Choose your battles wisely!

Sorry for the loss of your Dad, I pray you have the fortitude to bear the loss.

kastrobaba:
Good day house, i need your contributions to solve some issues in my family.

My dad had two wives but unfortunately we were not treated equally. I was fortunate to attend unilag where my dad worked but I was not considered as a serious son of his. Thank God I am the only person to have education in the family. Since my dad overlooked me I didn't mind then I face my life alone. While he was alive we were told that he put my direct brother (first son ) name on his papers but by the time he got sick my step sister and the husband took over the finances. Since am I know Christ I didn't bother about the situation. Along the way my dad complain to me that the sister went to the school on several occasions to withdraw money from his account. What should I do since I didn't know the beginning.

Last month my dad passed away while they brought him from village with sickness to come and sign a document for them to collect money without our knowledge. Two weeks later after his death, the sister called my brother that the school just paid 720000naira to her account for my dad but she has spent 500000 naira on my dad before his death and she has to reduct the money and give the family 220000 naira.
Now the whole family disagree and she brought a written expenses not bills to present for her 500000 naira.
Since am the only one educated the family now look up to me to intervene bcs there are other money to be released from my dad pension.

I don't know how my senior brother name was changed initially to her name.

How can I go about the issue bcs we need money for my dad burial and she is holding the 720000 naira.

Your advice

Request for receipts of the hospital bills and reject written expenses, if the whole family disagrees, do you mean including your step mom? I think you need to call her and tell her "Sis, we need money to bury our father and the little money I haved saved from work is 20k, please, here is a list of things we need to bury Dad"
Finally, you have to find out who is the nest of kin to your father as regards the pension, what your moms position on this issue and your brother(first son)?
Truth be told your battle just began.

Ditto.

Richy4:
I like your half sister... she is just a smart young woman...
While you tune off your family and turned a blind eye to what was going on because according to you, you have received Christ.... She was busy taking care of Documents and changing things where necessary.... Only for u to wake up when it was late to imagine and question how she managed to do that.. Assuming u were paying attention u would have known..

However, I will simply suggest that you asked her to provide an authentic prove that she has spent so and so...let her get the bank statements, Receipt etc that shows evidence of what she has spent (hospital bills, drugs etc) totally reject all handwritten record because she can't use that to prove anything... anyone can write that... moreover that kind of amount she was claiming is not something small like bread or pepper bought in the market....

Please man, in future the fact that you are a Christian does not mean you should over look things concerning your family... The only thing I am hoping is that you people did not abandon your dad for your half sister to carter for while he was alive only to jump out from nowhere like vultures to eat the carcass(property ).

Your step or half sister?

[ Take the money, bury your dad and move on with your life. [/quote]

I think this is the best advice. Don't let your dad's issues become yours. As they used to tell us in primary school, face forward.

if you can let go, pls do.
what many children do not know is that once their parent starts ageing say 60. you had better be your parent favorite child otherwise, you may be on the long thing. Even strangers at that age may be the ones to benefit.
With my small sense, now wey my papa do dey old, i don win the old man heart so tay he don add me as a siggy to him account. (I only share this for others to learn)

seyigiggle:
if you can let go, pls do.
what many children do not know is that once their parent starts ageing say 60. you had better be your parent favorite child otherwise, you may be on the long thing. Even strangers at that age may be the ones to benefit.
With my small sense, now wey my papa do dey old, i don win the old man heart so tay he don add me as a siggy to him account. (I only share this for others to learn)

Lol

Mizwisdom:
. She even tried by refunding N220K, some people will clear everything completely. Take the money, bury your dad and move on with your life.

I was even astonished to read where she refunded a whopping 220k

The o.p thinks medicine is cheap. We don't even know how long the father was sick but from the look of the story, it's over a year.

Mr. Op abeg borrow me your step sister. She's very caring. When my grandfather was sick... All my aunties stayed away waiting for him to die. Your sister cared for your father, she even refunded money, she is very nice person.

If you don't appreciate her, please dash her to me. I no get elder sister, i dey find one. O.p abeg

tritritri:



My brother , I will repeat only your dad knws why he prefer to have told her dan you or the first born male. in most similar situation i've seen , this stage is just the beginning of trouble. After burial be ready for real war, except ur rich enuf to take ur mom away from there. step mom greeting issue to house sharing wahala / after dat then his son is doing well more dan mine wahala , after dat pastor or alfar told me the other wife is a witch wahala...U never see anything.

It is very unlikely the father willingly put her as the heir
He put the firstborn(which is the obvious tradition) at the time he was in a healthy state. But later changed it to the daughter after he got sick
It just doesn't make sense right. There is something the OP doesn't know about. Possibly a threat or something
I hope this threat(if at all there is) isn't as a result of the Father's sickness and demise.
Well, what do I know about issues as disturbing as this

boldconfidence:
You people attacking the Op that he abandoned his father are not being fair to him.

How many of you are from polygamous homes and know the way these settings work?

Op, there is a strategy that you have employed and has worked for you even when your father was alive. I suggest you stick with that! Choose your battles wisely!

It is not attack
The other people view is to create a balance view
NO one way traffic

seyigiggle:
if you can let go, pls do.
what many children do not know is that once their parent starts ageing say 60. you had better be your parent favorite child otherwise, you may be on the long thing. Even strangers at that age may be the ones to benefit.
With my small sense, now wey my papa do dey old, i don win the old man heart so tay he don add me as a siggy to him account. (I only share this for others to learn)

Just being curious:
Are you the first child of your dad?
Are your siblings aware you’ve done this?
Why was there a need to “win” your dad’s heart?

you see my dad is a very secretive person, but would expose his mind to his sibling whom we do not trust

babythug:



Just being curious:
Are you the first child of your dad? no
Are your siblings aware you’ve done this? only one, and if one knows, all know
Why was there a need to “win” your dad’s heart?

babythug:



Just being curious:
Are you the first child of your dad?
Are your siblings aware you’ve done this?
Why was there a need to “win” your dad’s heart?

seyigiggle:
you see my dad is a very secretive person, but would expose his mind to his sibling whom we do not trust

So you made yourself additional signatory in consensus with your mum and siblings?

only myself, i persuaded my dad to add me. my mum is late

babythug:


So you made yourself additional signatory in consensus with your mum and siblings?

seyigiggle:
only myself, i persuaded my dad to add me. my mum is late

I don’t know you personally but it doesn’t sound right! Such decisions should have the overall good as the primary focus and should be done right

The first child should be in charge of your parents affairs. You can encourage your dad to put his affairs in order now he’s alive but be open and transparent. Carry your siblings along.

kastrobaba:
Good day house, i need your contributions to solve some issues in my family.
My dad had two wives but unfortunately we were not treated equally. I was fortunate to attend unilag where my dad worked but I was not considered as a serious son of his. Thank God I am the only person to have education in the family. Since my dad overlooked me I didn't mind then I face my life alone. While he was alive we were told that he put my direct brother (first son ) name on his papers but by the time he got sick my step sister and the husband took over the finances. Since am I know Christ I didn't bother about the situation. Along the way my dad complain to me that the sister went to the school on several occasions to withdraw money from his account. What should I do since I didn't know the beginning.
Last month my dad passed away while they brought him from village with sickness to come and sign a document for them to collect money without our knowledge. Two weeks later after his death, the sister called my brother that the school just paid 720000naira to her account for my dad but she has spent 500000 naira on my dad before his death and she has to reduct the money and give the family 220000 naira.
Now the whole family disagree and she brought a written expenses not bills to present for her 500000 naira.
Since am the only one educated the family now look up to me to intervene bcs there are other money to be released from my dad pension.

I don't know how my senior brother name was changed initially to her name.

How can I go about the issue bcs we need money for my dad burial and she is holding the 720000 naira.

Your advice

unfortunately there isn't much to be done except to ask for a detailed account. what most people don't realize is that proper accounts must be done. if the expenses are not backed by bills and receipts you have a right to say you are not paying it. if it is backed by receipts then you must pay.
as for the pension etc, the family must appoint the Children that will be the Adminstrators of his Estate. these people will process the pension, gratuity etc on behalf of the family and divide it either per wife or per child as the case may be.
thank you.

Onye kpaa nku ahuhu,ngwere abiara ya oriri...(he who brings ant infested firewood should get ready to chase lizards).
Salient pts gleened from your story.
1.Your polygamous father invited trouble when he became polygamous.
2.Taking care and buying drugs for an invalid requires Time and money.Your sis didnt use the money.Thank her for bringing change sef.
2b.After your late father complained,Why then did he not look into things Or give directives.
3. Receiving christ shouldnt make one senseless,infact wisdom is an attribute.Luke 2 vs 52.
4.Use what You have and bury him.Expensive burial isnt an investment.When You run into debt because ofit,You will smell hell.
5.What is the first son saying?