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He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by GloShare(m): 8:19am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
.

So you mean someone can get a girl he didn't pay preide price on pregnant, reject it, then come around after many years to claim custody of the baby and the court will grant him the custody .

On which basis will such judgement be made?.


Your sister should tell him she's not his child. She had a secret affair while they were dating, and that's that.

He cannot force for a DNA.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by NLSOFT: 8:20am On Dec 30, 2019
A Father Takes Responsibility From Day One Of Prenancy

And even if he failed to take responsibility, at least the birth of a child heals all sorrows

But here, he failed to take responsibility from day one till 16th yr of the Innocent Child

To me his needs are no longer needed..

Work hard and be there for your Sister Daughter and ur sister should be strong

An Enemy of yesterday can still be an enemy of today

Enemy Hardly changes

Be wise bro
===============================


Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Nobody: 8:20am On Dec 30, 2019
Apination:
Issues like this dey complex, you can't stop the father from knowing his daughter but it should end there. He gave up the right to her the day he denied her undecided


Exactly, let the child be educated on how her real dad and paternal parents abandoned and shamed her mom in that moment of need. Heck some lily-livered teenagers would've committed suicide in that state. They're heartless assholes

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by adanny01(m): 8:21am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

I get it, you are hurt and insulted by their actions.

However, dont make a fuss about it. The biological father has rights you dont have, so dont go down that way.

I suggest you guys sit her down and tell her. She will most probably wanna meet her dad, you better let her. She is not a lottle girl and you have done the best for her. If she appreciates, she will treat you guys as her first and only family. You cant force anything on her since she will in a few years have full right to choose where she lives.

Sit her down in a family meeting style and drop the news and tell her the family who want her now didn't want her when she was still in the womb and for the 16years of her life until now.

Tell her you are not letting her go, and would fight them with every thing you have but she has to decide to be with the only family she has ever know.

I trust that she will do the right thing. Most kids in such situations will just want to meet with their other family and get over the feeling of not knowing.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Samnavy: 8:21am On Dec 30, 2019
The man should pay for everything from the child birth if not, he won't know the value of what he has done at the same time he won't have respect to the family.

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Madas1986(m): 8:22am On Dec 30, 2019
Kylekent59:
You should be very happy for her that she's gonna reunite with her father. That's the best love you can give to her.


God even forgives us our sins, then we unite with him again and he welcomes us.

Just let them have her, you need not be furious. You have done your good part by being there for her. Seal your goodness with good ending and not the other way round.



You cannot deprive her of her real father!!!


*FACT*
Ur advice is too harsh
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by xpmode(m): 8:22am On Dec 30, 2019
He doesn't need the girl nor have the best interest in her but for self centered interest.

My own rejected me, requested for abortion, but i survived 2 times pill dose, this was 30 years ago. Up till now he care less. But I have forgiven that offense.

Don't be angry forever, talk to the girl, tell her the whole truth, if she wants to see her real dad, allow that to happen. Only retain the custody of the girl so as not to break the connection you had with her.

Every one deserves to be happy.
Let's learn to forgive and press forward in life.

But remember, *Keep the Girl*

2 Likes

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Chiomzee(f): 8:23am On Dec 30, 2019
my advise to u to your sister
first of all let your sister tell her the all truth of her father because if an outsider tells her or she ment her father he may change the story against your sister......
then your sister will also tell her husband the ISS on ground so he can stand by her and I hope your sister husband knows she as a daughter
then she tell your own family
about the child is left for the child to decide if to allow her father into her life...
but if the child allow her father in there must be conditions
1) the child must stay with her but will only vist him......2) he must pay u for the money she as spent on her
but in my own word bf the man must ask for the child either he does not as a child of his won then he rember he as a child somewhere
but bf she must let him have access to the child let your sister do some problem let her not let him in that easy

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by healthserve(m): 8:24am On Dec 30, 2019
theButterfly:
He does have a lot of say b/c 1) he has been her guardian and b/c 2) she's still underage, so it makes sense to protect her best interests and have some questions answered before proceeding.




Look at how people are cheapening the OP's value in the kids life. What if she had died. Irresponsible people don't like responsibilities but when it's time to reap the rewards they all. Jump out to lay claims of ownership. It's not who biologically produces a child that's the father, but who "fathered" the child. While the kid can be told who the sperm donor is, he shouldn't be given more access. He gave up on all privileges when he denied her. Also she should be made aware at 18,so right after a meeting she can make the choice required by law to continue to remain with the uncle.

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Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Paseus(m): 8:24am On Dec 30, 2019
GuyWise101:
He abandoned the little girl when she was in the womb, never cared for her when she was growing up...


He now appears from nowhere and started claiming the girl he abandoned just because he has seen that she is nearing to be married just so that he can eat the bride price. (thats wickedness) Oga that's not the case... The man is ready to sponsor her education further and you are talking about bride price, how much is her bride price compared to what he's going to spend if eventually he gets access to her.


If I am in your family I would make sure that he pays every dime we spent on her head, right from her birth.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Awoo88: 8:25am On Dec 30, 2019
Kylekent59:
You should be very happy for her that she's gonna reunite with her father. That's the best love you can give to her.


God even forgives us our sins, then we unite with him again and he welcomes us.

Just let them have her, you need not be furious. You have done your good part by being there for her. Seal your goodness with good ending and not the other way round.



You cannot deprive her of her real father!!!


*FACT*
Nonsense talk. Real parant are the one who raise their kids. Yuroba has a saying that person wen born pikin no reach person wen train am. You can know they for information sake but if the child have any sense, she will stick with those who raised het

2 Likes

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Chukapage(m): 8:26am On Dec 30, 2019
AuroraB:
Don't cause that child to go through psychological trauma!
This is what guys do. Knowing they'll get the child whenever they come back for him or her.
You, giving the child back to him would be you encouraging this villainous attitude angry
My uncle did it and he can't lay claim to a child that looks exactly like him. The guy is a graduate already and has nothing to do with him. How do you explain to the man who married his Mum in pregnancy, that the guy's 'father' is here for him shocked angry sad angry undecided undecided
The MAJOR reason having anything serious with a single mother is RISKY.Imagine training a child and all of a sudden a scallywag pops out of no where claiming "Father" and people will still have the guts and audacity to sit down and debate wether he gets the child or not , that's after my hard work OOOO na to kill person.

9 Likes 5 Shares

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by stickle(m): 8:26am On Dec 30, 2019
Painful as it is, you will have to forgive. I feel your pain, but be rest assured that you will not labour in vain.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by rummmy: 8:27am On Dec 30, 2019
theButterfly:
Before you allow him access to the girl, as her guardians, your family should

A) Ask her if she's ready to meet him. If yes, then proceed to B, C and D.

B) Meet with him and ask for an apology to the mother and to the girl. If he can't apologize or is shifting blame to the mother or your family, see it as a sign of irresponsibility and immaturity.

C) Ask him why he has returned now to know his motivations, esp. after the mother has done the work of raising her. This is a human being and not an item that can be discarded and later picked up when you feel like it.

D) Ask if he's back to stay in her life for the long haul or has come around temporarily. It would be traumatic for her if he later abandons her again, so observe how he responds and what he says. Of course, he may tell you what you want to hear, so apply wisdom.



this your procedure eeeeh..... It is easier for a whale to pass through the eyes of a needle than most of what you wrote to happen .... What has happened, has happened, what is the way forward?why did he denied the child then? He may be to young and could not take decision for himself, now he is matured he wants to take decision for himself,you see, atimes, nature have it's own reasons for letting things happen the way they do.what makes a girl to throw away her child to the bins can still make a man deny his child..... Making the guy pay this and pay that simple means recovery from a business venture..no one in his right sense and conditions will deny his own pregnancy ... To me, the best solution is to follow the little girls decision......what ever decisions she takes, so be it...... Quote me not please.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by AreaFada2: 8:28am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .
Dude sadly nothing to handle here. It all depends on the girl if she wants to see her biological dad or not.

Girls should just be careful not to get preggy anyhow. I know feminists won't like this but many families are bringing up kids for irresponsible men.

These stupid men will later be forming dad, father inlaw, grand dad and what not when food is now ready, all the hard work done by family of the girl.
A friend told me of one case. Almost same situation as OP. Though the boy's family suggested aborting the pregnancy even. Later the girl went behind her mum and family to organise engagement party in her paternal family house.
A
Let the girl see her dad. As much you love her and care for her, she is not your daughter. That's life.

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Kobicove(m): 8:28am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ...

Please how do I handle this .

No matter how angry you are about the situation you can't keep the girl from knowing her biological father
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by grandstar(m): 8:28am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

That's her father and you have no choice. She may grow up resenting you if she's denied the opportunity of meeting her father.

Not only will she meet her father, but his blood relations as well. It's a whole village she will now add to her assets.

She'll also meet her half siblings. She must however be careful because his wife may not be too enthusiastic. Your girl must in a tactful way make it known that's she's not interested in her dad's property, that she's not a threat to her or her siblings.

You'd be surprised that your girl might already suspect but kept mute about her suspicions.

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Nobody: 8:28am On Dec 30, 2019
Solsix:
I don't know which part of the country u are typing from, but in igbo land once the man did not pay bride price, he can't lay claim to the child. He can assist in training the child but she can't be his


Which kind head you get ?

We dey talk about law you dey talk about culture

Who culture help?
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by enemyofprogress: 8:29am On Dec 30, 2019
To hear is human, to forgive is design. You people should just forgive him and let peace rain in the family

dominique good morning kiss kiss
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Slynation(m): 8:29am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .
People are just talking shit, because they don't know what you and your family passed through in the cause of catering for the child....
But i understand perfectly due to past experience with my sis, it happened to us...

Now they want you to forget the shame of giving birth to a child out of wedlock....

The Cries of your Momma blaming herself for scoring F in parental guidance....

The extra adjustments and sacrifices y'all made just to accommodate an unplanned circumstances...

The Money and Time been channeled in catering for the girl knowing fully well it should have been avoided...

Bro/Sis all of the people giving you advice to forgive easily and grant the man access are all mad....

-The man must give a clear and concise reason for coming back to his senses after 16years, if he claim he was young and naive, then what about his parent, were they also young and stupid??

Secondly there must be utmost signs of repentance and gnashing of teeth before he should be allowed to see her picture self grin

Ndi ara Ndi ara everywhere......!!

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by healthserve(m): 8:30am On Dec 30, 2019
Ayotemide:
I have this much to say, any man that impregnates a woman, denies the paternity of her child and puts her integrity and person to question but returns when she had had to be a single parent all her life should know that he is in no place to demand access to that child's life; it was not your child 16years ago, what changed??


Help us ask o. And the persons supporting the man on this thread is a direct reflection of our society

4 Likes

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by donttouchme: 8:30am On Dec 30, 2019
The biological father is very selfish. What a human being. Just allow him access, but you have to tell the girl the whole truth.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by lollybizzu(m): 8:30am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:


I looked after this baby girl from when she was born till she came of age . She is so fond of me .

Now one nigga is trying to upset her psychological mindset all in a bit to have access to her .

This is so hard to bear

Oga, I feel your pain but shit happens.

Meet the man in question, show your displeasure at what he did, if he's sober and repentant, let it slide. Forgive him God sef dey forgive us.

The girl is already fond of you, keep being a good uncle to her. She's of age, don't influence her decisions in anyway, she has the right to meet her dad if she wants to.

In all, you're a man because you should be able to act and take decisions without emotions. Remember anger is an emotion.

So be logical, control all emotions and do the right thing.

Peace and compliments of the season.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by ave4(f): 8:30am On Dec 30, 2019
It's unfortunate but you can't deny him access to her. This situation isn't new.Most men come back to reap where they didn't sow. Secondly,he can take up the responsibilities but it won't erase the fond memories of the man she called her dad. I know it's not easy but God will give you all the grace needed now.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Jamorezzi: 8:31am On Dec 30, 2019
Girl wey una supposed don send go yankee at the age of 3, after 16 years without his dime , now he remember he had a grown up daughter . Abeg make una flog the idiot .

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Slynation(m): 8:32am On Dec 30, 2019
iamosmania:


Which kind head you get ?
We dey talk about law you dey talk about culture
Who culture help?
There is a customary law binding cultures and tradition as well....

2 Likes

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Stargner: 8:33am On Dec 30, 2019
Apination:
Issues like this dey complex, you can't stop the father from knowing his daughter but it should end there. He gave up the right to her the day he denied her undecided

Well said! Access to the child shouldn’t be granted too. Don’t trust them with the child.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by GerogeI(m): 8:35am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
.

Who is even talking of paying up. I don't want him near my baby girl


Do not mind all these Goody goody idiotic cultural people. Yes, you can deny a wicked father the right to see or know your daughter. You have no reason to forgive, but you have every reason to protect your child. Mind you he only wants to reap, but not labour.

Do not let him near her untill she is at least 25 years and can judge for herself. Please create adequate cultural hurdles to keep him engaged until the girl is at right age.

Send him to meet Clan Daugthers- let them give him a list- drag the for two years.
Then send him to meet Clan mothers - drag for another two years
Then send him to meet Clan Elders drag for another two years
If he has not yet run away, invite him to meet you argue for another two years.
Send him to go beg the childs mother - another two years.

Total = 10 years the child will be 26 years then. You have a duty to protect you child biological or not from contact with irresponsible people.

If he likes he can go to court. Just get a nice lawyer and keep him engaged for the next 10 years.

7 Likes

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by texazzpete(m): 8:35am On Dec 30, 2019
nanaman:
3

In as much as we think the deed was bad, there is still no reason to justify the fact that the young girl must know her real dad for future sake. It's kinda hard to forgive, I understand. However, who are we to question the circumstances behind all that happened and so far the mother is ready to the needful, my dear brother, let the reunion be possible though with some stringent clause.

The clause would be determined by the young girl. She's of age to decide where she wants to live. All these should be done within the welfare setting so as to have legal backing. The real father would pay all he can afford as upkeep, settle school fee and also visit as agreed by both parties.With this, everyone will be at peace especially your sister.

What happened was that you failed to take the necessary steps when the young girl was neglected. You guys should have gone to court for the new husband to adopt legally which would have given the man full custody and since you didn't do that, let the real father take over and settle everyone.

All the best.

Legally, the so-called ‘real father’ has zero case and zero chance of winning a custody battle.

Zero.

7 Likes

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Clonus: 8:37am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .
I can thoroughly relate with this your story cos i am in a similar predicament. in my own case the girl is about to turn 14 and is still in secondary school. when my sister was put to the family way, my family peacefully went to inform his family about the pregnancy. But do you know that that idiot and his father passed through the back and organised thugs who came to their living room and gave us the beating of our lives. they smashed the windshield of our car and my other sister who was pregnant at the time almost lost the baby. But now, after 14 years that fool is coming to claim daughter. anyway right from day one the girl was told she was begotten by one irresponsible man, that fact was never hidden from her but the choice is her"s. the day she chooses to call him father is the day she seizes to be part of my family. i have given and will continue to give her the best i can even more than my own children. the choice is hers

7 Likes

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by pocohantas(f): 8:37am On Dec 30, 2019
eyinjuege:
Custody may not apply in this case, as the child is 16 already, and can be allowed to choose who to stay with.
What does the sister's husband say about this whole thing? The truth has to be told as it is to the child. She deserves to know her biological father, and also needs to know how he rejected her pregnancy, her childhood and all. No need to sugarcoat anything. She may have questions from him as to why he abandoned her and never wanted her.
If she decides to forgive him, no wahala. If she also decides she doesn't want him in her life, still no wahala as she has successfully managed without him all these years ( of course thanks to her mother's family)

True. She deserves to know the truth surrounding her existence. Every other thing will fall into place.

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by juman(m): 8:38am On Dec 30, 2019
A bad man he rejected her for so long.

Nevertheless let the girl get love from her real father.
She could go to sky to know her real father and his family members.

We see often on shows how people look for their real father doing dna test.

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