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He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Nigerian Man Marries Kenyan Lady As He Abandons His Wife Of 16 Years In Lagos / Family Land: My Step elder Brother Wants The Survey Document To Bear His Name / I Accidentally Got My Sister Pregnant (2) (3) (4)

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Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by KIkiofure: 8:51am On Dec 30, 2019
I am currently two months pregnant with no support from him.. He denied me and his family too..
I pray I birth this child in peace but since he denied me already he can never see this child.. He even called my baby bastard cry

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Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Sam2310(m): 8:52am On Dec 30, 2019
Chukapage:
The MAJOR reason having anything serious with a single mother is RISKY.Imagine training a child and all of a sudden a scallywag pops out of no where claiming "Father" and people will still have the guts and audacity to sit down and debate wether he gets the child or not , that's after my hard work OOOO na to kill person.
Most women always forgive Men of their wrongs but Most Men with always support their own(male), that why most nairalander with support that Man(father).
Assume is the mother that left the child.
You will be surprised of all kind of comment, range from insult and abuse(something like she a prostitute, she is gold digger etc)

OP, Make sure the entire family come ooo not the Man along. Because the Man may have a good heart and his family may not, which may be dangerous for the child.

U can't lose her Love, let your mind be at rest.

cc biafrareform

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Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by nanaman(m): 8:52am On Dec 30, 2019
GerogeI:


You are just making up your own rules as you go.
The guy OP that wrote this is from the East, I guess. In Igbo culture, you cannot claim the child of a woman you did not marry, talkless of the one you denied. The man simply has no rights over the child. A 16 years child is still a minor and cannot Grant him any rights herself.

I did not make rules. The problem is that we all don't know our rights until certain issues arise. Forget Igbo culture or not, the man owns the child and there is nothing we can do about it.

Let me pose a question, who owns the child? And let it be clear, in partenity, a 16yrs old is not a minor.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by tranxo(m): 8:52am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

At 16 years, I DOUBT that the girl doesn't know the truth by now. Even if she doesn't, the mum has left this IMPORTANT part of her hidden for so long.

Would you people rather tell her the UNDILUTED truth, or have outsiders tell her BIASED truth? You people should control the narrative by sitting down with her and letting her know the identity of her real dad, and the circumstances before, during, and after her birth.

In some traditions, a man that does not pay the bride price of a woman CANNOT lay claim on any child the produced together. The child hence belongs to the woman's family. Still, this does not mean that the child does not have the right to know her real father.

Tread carefully in order not to be on the emotional wrong side of this girl. There is a natural bond between fathers and daughters, no matter the circumstances.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by switosman(m): 8:52am On Dec 30, 2019
Sue the father and obtain a court judgement on behalf of the little girl and he will pay for support for the past 16 years he was absent from the girls life.
Don't give in to sentiments, it's good you know what is right. Go see a good Lawyer.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by LoyalRccgMember: 8:53am On Dec 30, 2019
nanaman:


Yes. Issues like this should not be taken or decided with personal feelings.

The man was bad. YES.

Is the father of the child. YES

Did he take care of the child from birth till date. NO

Has she (the girl) being adopted by another family. NO

No where in the law states an irresponsible man should be denied paternity. Lots of things would be posed as the cause of the problem and if the mother denies, DNA would be requested and since the mother knows, truly, the real father is the new man, then, DNA is ruled out.

I already explained what your sister failed to do at the initial stage which brought her to this step.

To custody issue, I stated, the young girl is of age according to law to decide where she wants to live. The court cannot deny the real dad visit and care para-adventure she decides to stay with her mother. Wherever she decides to stay, the man is now "responsible" to law and he should not be denied his right. That's the law bro.

which law? Shut the Bleep up!!! Else, na thunder I dy send come undecided
nanaman:


Yes. Issues like this should not be taken or decided with personal feelings.

The man was bad. YES.

Is the father of the child. YES

Did he take care of the child from birth till date. NO

Has she (the girl) being adopted by another family. NO

No where in the law states an irresponsible man should be denied paternity. Lots of things would be posed as the cause of the problem and if the mother denies, DNA would be requested and since the mother knows, truly, the real father is the new man, then, DNA is ruled out.

I already explained what your sister failed to do at the initial stage which brought her to this step.

To custody issue, I stated, the young girl is of age according to law to decide where she wants to live. The court cannot deny the real dad visit and care para-adventure she decides to stay with her mother. Wherever she decides to stay, the man is now "responsible" to law and he should not be denied his right. That's the law bro.

which law? Shut the Bleep up!!! Else, na thunder I dy send come
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by rummmy: 8:53am On Dec 30, 2019
KIkiofure:
I am currently two months pregnant with no support from him.. He denied me and his family too..
I pray I birth this child in peace but since he denied me already he can never see this child.. He even called my baby bastard cry
why did you allow this without him marrying you?
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by GuestLog: 8:53am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:


I looked after this baby girl from when she was born till she came of age . She is so fond of me .

Now one nigga is trying to upset her psychological mindset all in a bit to have access to her .

This is so hard to bear
Bros, don't agree. The girl can know her real father but that's just it. He has no right to claim her. After all, he is not legally married to her mother & he rejected her.

He is only after her bride price. Wicked baskards!

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Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by teemy(m): 8:53am On Dec 30, 2019
@biafrareform, the adult most likely to be affected here is the foster dad. Try to understand his feelings and decision on the dad.

You have to tell the girl before birth dad does. Since he knows the mother and was able to contact her, he can as well decide to accost the lady or be a nice 'uncle' somewhere and one day break the ice and ask her to confirm the story while adding Hus own version to it. If the girl asks the mum and there is a pause, that is all the 16 yr old girl needs to confirm her parenthood.

Tell her yourself and if the girl asks for time before the meetup, it is easier for the mum to now say, "she is not ready yet" which if the dad breaches would work against him.

One day, they will meet. She should not be brought into the feud of the past. Let her move ahead without carrying the hurt of the past. Medical records could come in handy some day. Please don't bill him for taking care of your girl. You did for her what you needed to do. Don't let him buy that off you. If he wants to do anything, let that be his own but determined by the foster dad.

Your sis is OK. The girl is OK. The foster dad will also be okay as lkng as he treated her well. Once the birth dad proves to be something else, she can drop him off her life but before the meetup, ask him why now and do a bit if research on Facebook and elsewhere to know what kind of a man he presently is. Remember, no poisoning the girl's mind as it might backfire especially if he is a changed man.

P.S the mum might need to get an affidavit towards her state of origin to reflect actual data.

Wishing you well - Teemy

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Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Graxie(f): 8:54am On Dec 30, 2019
healthserve:




Ladies need to be smart that's just it. Drop kids with the guy and when he starts complaining make him sign giving up ownership. A child should be the responsibility of both parents
This have been my stand, they keep thinking by raising up their kids by themselves that they are champions. Use whatever means at your disposal to get him involved, stop using the child is innocent story to halt your life. But as usual, things can never change.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by LoyalRccgMember: 8:54am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
.

Who is even talking of paying up. I don't want him near my baby girl

Bless you bro. No matter what happens, don't allow them to take her back. in fact, if possible, poison the girl's mind towards the stupid man!
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by KIkiofure: 8:54am On Dec 30, 2019
rummmy:
why did you allow this without him marrying you?
I thought he loved me or some said.. So we usually have sex without protection til I go pregnant and funny enough he disvirgned me
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by tranxo(m): 8:54am On Dec 30, 2019
What legalized his fatherhood?
meobizy:

Being the legal father affords him more right over the OP in the child's welfare.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by kenex4ever(m): 8:54am On Dec 30, 2019
GuyWise101:
He abandoned the little girl when she was in the womb, never cared for her when she was growing up...


He now appears from nowhere and started claiming the girl he abandoned just because he has seen that she is nearing to be married just so that he can eat the bride price. (thats wickedness)


If I am in your family I would make sure that he pays every dime we spent on her head, right from her birth.
spot on
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by LoyalRccgMember: 8:55am On Dec 30, 2019
azimo:
People are bound to do mistake,I know is very painful but don't forget is their blood just like is urs.so I suggest dialogue with them.

Which blood? which dialogue? where is thunder when you need him na :/

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Solsix(m): 8:55am On Dec 30, 2019
iamosmania:



Which kind head you get ?

We dey talk about law you dey talk about culture

Who culture help?
You see how ignorant people are u think native laws are not powerful?? Which jugde will give custody to a man who abandoned her child for sixteen years?? Is not enough to subscribe and come to nairaland and expose your ignoance, use ur data and make research. FYI my elder sister got pregnant for a police officer who ready to marry her because of the child. I said NO, he used every possible means to get the child including paying 10k every week as child support just to have the child he failed. Get this into your skull once there is no proof of bride price, church, traditional or any form of wedding, u can't have custody of the child. U can be the child father but u can't claim him

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Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by laiza(m): 8:55am On Dec 30, 2019
GuyWise101:
He abandoned the little girl when she was in the womb, never cared for her when she was growing up...


He now appears from nowhere and started claiming the girl he abandoned just because he has seen that she is nearing to be married just so that he can eat the bride price. (thats wickedness)


If I am in your family I would make sure that he pays every dime we spent on her head, right from her birth.
Why are you so myopic? Is marriage the only reason he wants to be in the girls life at the moment? My advice, meet the dude and know his mind, also give him a hefty bill to know what he has to pay, even multiply it by 3 or 10.....just to know the level of his seriousness. Thing is this thing we call relationship causes a lot of issues. Who knows either of the parents might be at fault for breaking them apart, Money could also play another part. If the dude had showed up empty handed 16 years ago would the family had accepted him? He could also be a cheat, a liar or player back then. You never can tell. Meet him first then decide on what to tell the young lady because things like this can shatter her life into pieces if not done properly. Thread carefully.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Nobody: 8:55am On Dec 30, 2019
the father to the girl was dead, ever since he denied the pregnancy, Dude u are nice if its me i could kill him if he persists after series of warning.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by baby124: 8:56am On Dec 30, 2019
KIkiofure:
I am currently two months pregnant with no support from him.. He denied me and his family too..
I pray I birth this child in peace but since he denied me already he can never see this child.. He even called my baby bastard cry
Sorry... Na wa ooo! Can’t even understand how someone can deny a whole human being. Chai! What I will use such a persons eye to see. The story would be told in their lineage as oriki. It is well with you.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by healthserve(m): 8:56am On Dec 30, 2019
Graxie:
This have been my stand, they keep thinking by raising up their kids by themselves that they are champions. Use whatever means at your disposal to get him involved, stop using the child is innocent story to halt your life. But as usual, things can never change.


When we tl young ladies not to give in to these lovers at the time of their romance, they'll fight the people advising them. I hate irresponsible men. If men are not ready for children, they should use condoms or tell the women to use pills. This is why many men die untimely. I hate irresponsible men. Tueh

2 Likes

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by LoyalRccgMember: 8:56am On Dec 30, 2019
DMerciful:
Is it what you want or what the girl want? Its really not about you!

shut the Bleep up!!! he has the right to do what he wants as he's the one who brought her up not the stupid old fool!!

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Hypocrit: 8:56am On Dec 30, 2019
I think a law needed to be pass by the senate to sort out these issues because they are quite rampant in our country, that if for at most seven years after birth, a man (for those whose bride price has been paid)never come to claim ownership of his said child, nor contributed financially and materially nor socially to a child growth, then he loss the ownership of that child forever. While for those out of wedlock, have at most 4 years to claim ownership and pay the neccessary traditional rites as demanded by the girl's family and tradition, unless otherwise stated by the mother of the child and the child when she reach the age of consent, but with strigent rules. I cant really stand someone else coming to reap where he refuse to sow after many years. But the choice is for the girl to choose as we cannot deny a person of his/her constitutional rights. But the girl must be old enough to make such decision.

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Tallyglobal(m): 8:57am On Dec 30, 2019
To me is very easy, he shld pay the some of 5Million to the Wife account but his Daughter will judge ... If he shld credit them or forgive him.
Family members are less concern all u do is for the sake of Love.
Some family shld always go to mother less or Orphanage home, if is hard to do something for the sake of God.

Forgive and forget or Revenge...
Only the poor don't forget yesterday pain.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by nanaman(m): 8:57am On Dec 30, 2019
LoyalRccgMember:


which law? Shut the Bleep up!!! Else, na thunder I dy send come undecided

which law? Shut the Bleep up!!! Else, na thunder I dy send come

Who is stopping you.? You better learn from the story and know where you insert for John Thomas to avoid such stories.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by orisa37: 8:57am On Dec 30, 2019
That Guy wants Dam when she is now 16, the same age, he got your sister pregnant? He's a Devil. Dam must be out of the UNIVERSITY before you teach her Double Standards.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by xenten: 8:57am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

Tell them the child was not theirs. That your sister realised she was pregnant for another man. Simple.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Nobody: 8:57am On Dec 30, 2019
Kylekent59:
You should be very happy for her that she's gonna reunite with her father. That's the best love you can give to her.


God even forgives us our sins, then we unite with him again and he welcomes us.

Just let them have her, you need not be furious. You have done your good part by being there for her. Seal your goodness with good ending and not the other way round.



You cannot deprive her of her real father!!!


*FACT*
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by TOPCRUISE(m): 8:57am On Dec 30, 2019
She should tell him that she is now in abroad in Stanford University and the school fees is N30m. She should give him a breakdown of the fees
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by northbird: 8:57am On Dec 30, 2019
GuyWise101:
He abandoned the little girl when she was in the womb, never cared for her when she was growing up...


He now appears from nowhere and started claiming the girl he abandoned just because he has seen that she is nearing to be married just so that he can eat the bride price. (thats wickedness)

That's a vindictive spirit.

Let the girl decide whether she wants to know her real father.

You can't deny her that right.

And why are you thinking of bride price as a form of business or fund generation activity.



You want a refund for taking care of your own.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by LoyalRccgMember: 8:58am On Dec 30, 2019
victorian:









Op, the time has come for you to tell your baby girl, the truth about her father.
Let her know she was rejected from birth and u accepted her and took care of her like your own. Let her mother too be present when both you and your sister is opening up to her .
And let her know, the father now wants to claim her and come back to her life.

If the communication line between u and your baby girl is good.

Talk to her like your daughter, let her remember those lovely moments both of u shared while growing up. Let her know, she can vouch for your love for her and to keep training and taking care of her till she marries but she cant vouch for a man, a stranger coming up from nowhere claiming he's her father.

And she can forgive him. But she can also choose whether to keep living with you, whom she knows inside out than to live with a stranger who wants nothing to do with her in the first place.
So she has the right to choose whom to be with. And if she wants to see her dad? Her dad can come visit her in your home. So she has to choose but she should remember the devil she knows, is better than angel showing up all of a sudden.

There are fathers fucvking their own daughters, And Mehn I don't trust the motive of the father towards the girl. He may want her as a sex slave. He doesn't have any fatherly connection towards her. So why want her at this level. I don't trust him one bit.
Only she can decide to stay with you or leave with him. But if uv been good to her, she will choose you.

Op try to open up to the girl, and let her know some twisted fathers do rape their daughters. And no one knows motive of this dad.

Thank you brother!!! you just said my mind

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by SmartMen: 8:59am On Dec 30, 2019
GuyWise101:
He abandoned the little girl when she was in the womb, never cared for her when she was growing up...


He now appears from nowhere and started claiming the girl he abandoned just because he has seen that she is nearing to be married just so that he can eat the bride price. (thats wickedness)


If I am in your family I would make sure that he pays every dime we spent on her head, right from her birth.

I support this...
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by maasoap(m): 8:59am On Dec 30, 2019
meobizy:

If you reread his original post this is what he has in mind.


They can do this, which is the right step. Visually they can tell if the man is capable enough to cater for her.


Being the legal father affords him more right over the OP in the child's welfare.

What legal right? He could just pop up after many years to start claiming legal right? He should go to court and claim that and let us see how the judge is going to smile to him. It is even dangerous to put the teenage daughter in his care right now, all sorts of abuse could arise. The daughter he had not lived with since she was a toddler. All of a sudden, he will be living with her under the same roof as an adult. I wouldn't want that for the girl. Someone who is supposed to be in court explain why he did what he did! We tolerate and entertain too much nonsense in this country.

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