Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

Give the girl to the rightful sperm donor jare

Kylekent59:
You should be very happy for her that she's gonna reunite with her father. That's the best love you can give to her.


God even forgives us our sins, then we unite with him again and he welcomes us.

Just let them have her, you need not be furious. You have done your good part by being there for her. Seal your goodness with good ending and not the other way round.



You cannot deprive her of her real father!!!


*FACT*

Just because he's her father doesn't make him her daddy.

nanaman:


I did not make rules. The problem is that we all don't know our rights until certain issues arise. Forget Igbo culture or not, the man owns the child and there is nothing we can do about it.

Let me pose a question, who owns the child? And let it be clear, in partenity, a 16yrs old is not a minor.

Bros, that's where you are wrong.
By common law, he gave up his rights by being irresponsible. The child does not exist in a vaccum. To survive the child has informal guardians taking care of her for 16 years. He should try to dislodge that in a court.

By cultural law, he has no foot-in, what's so ever. You cannot claim a child you did not father legally in Igbo culture. That's why we legally do not have bastards, as the culture provides for a father in Every situation. Child of an unmarried mother belongs to the childs grandparents.

Your are making assumptions based on the patrichal nature of most societies. In most cases people just let go in order to spare the child the trauma. As long as he does not has access to this child to get into her psychology, do not let him subject a happy 16 year old child to psychological trauma and confusion. Spare her all these till her twenties. At that age her supposed father also know he is just a visitor.

Your sister should tell her daughter the truth and fast before the man gets to the daughter and tell her another story. She can meet her father and decide for herself if she prefers to be with him or with you guys. Kids of these days know what they want. She's old enough to know what she wants.

nanaman:


I did not make rules. The problem is that we all don't know our rights until certain issues arise. Forget Igbo culture or not, the man owns the child and there is nothing we can do about it.

Let me pose a question, who owns the child? And let it be clear, in partenity, a 16yrs old is not a minor.

Let him go to court and claim his ownership since you're so sure of that. Laughing

I will invite the said Dad, patiently wait on him to come to the house, I'll cut off his scrotum and face the consequences!

jidamsel43:
The whole world knows that you have really trued on the girl up to that level but the truth is that you are not his biological father. Whether now or later , man must claim his property.
In Africa , a man owns children and he has right to claim it anytime. Forget about denial or irresponsible , he is still the real father of the girl.
Discus with him on what he needs to do . I believe he will be willing to do it

It is people like you that makes the whites think of us as monkeys!
in Africa , a man owns children and he has right to claim it anytime.
thunder where are you na?

Lol. 16 is of age? your confidence in speaking about a law you don't understand is completely amazing

nanaman:


Yes. Issues like this should not be taken or decided with personal feelings.

The man was bad. YES.

Is the father of the child. YES

Did he take care of the child from birth till date. NO

Has she (the girl) being adopted by another family. NO

No where in the law states an irresponsible man should be denied paternity. Lots of things would be posed as the cause of the problem and if the mother denies, DNA would be requested and since the mother knows, truly, the real father is the new man, then, DNA is ruled out.

I already explained what your sister failed to do at the initial stage which brought her to this step.

To custody issue, I stated, the young girl is of age according to law to decide where she wants to live. The court cannot deny the real dad visit and care para-adventure she decides to stay with her mother. Wherever she decides to stay, the man is now "responsible" to law and he should not be denied his right. That's the law bro.

[s][quote author=nanaman post=85330421]

Yes. Issues like this should not be taken or decided with personal feelings.

The man was bad. YES.

Is the father of the child. YES

Did he take care of the child from birth till date. NO

Has she (the girl) being adopted by another family. NO

No where in the law states an irresponsible man should be denied paternity. Lots of things would be posed as the cause of the problem and if the mother denies, DNA would be requested and since the mother knows, truly, the real father is the new man, then, DNA is ruled out.

I already explained what your sister failed to do at the initial stage which brought her to this step.

To custody issue, I stated, the young girl is of age according to law to decide where she wants to live. The court cannot deny the real dad visit and care para-adventure she decides to stay with her mother. Wherever she decides to stay, the man is now "responsible" to law and he should not be denied his right. That's the law bro. [/quote[/s]]

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

right now I'm currently taking care of a child that is not my sperm but I'm not deluded. I know one day the real father might pop up and rightly so. He needs to have access to his child and I will allow it. It doesn't matter that he has not spend a dime on him

There's nothing you can do about it. Just tell the girl the truth and be free. She'll not run away from those who cared for her all these years. If the father want to contribute in taking care of her, he can do just that but on no occasion will you allow her to go live with him. The earlier the better for both families.

Apination:
Issues like this dey complex, you can't stop the father from knowing his daughter but it should end there. He gave up the right to her the day he denied her

its not up to anybody to decide when it ends or not. Biologically the child belongs to him.

MrBrownJay1:
ANY child has the right to know who her biologic father/family is (regardless of what happened in the past)... she is old enough to decide if she wants to have contact with her biological father's family or not, and certainly NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS

how dare you would want to continue lying to that kid about who her father is?!?!?!?

Shut the hell up! it's he-goats like you we dy talk about na

He has legal rights to his baby whether or not he rejected it before now.., truth is a bitter pill

It sounds like the daughter will have to play an important role in deciding if her father is to be spoken to. It's sad that he was away for 16 years, but people can change over time. Hopefully his motives are pure.

The guy is a scam. To be honest with you, this is the new style some lazy dude use. They will abscond after birth and resurface when the child is doing fine. It's true that you can deny his fatherhood but he will pay every dine the family has spent on the child or else....go to court asap before he turn it to violent. The law support woman in marriage more than man. So you are going to reclaim your money or he spend the rest of his life in jail by abandoning his child during venerable period..
Get a good lawyer . The guy is wicked. Don't allow him to run you into cheap pity.

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

I think it depends on your custom and tradition. Some custom demands that you must either pay the bride price of the woman or some childcare fee before you can claim your child while some custom you can go and get as many women as you can pregnant and deny all of them and come back whenever they turn billionaire and claim they're your child.

But for me, the day you deny my child is the day you're dead to me, any day you come back and tell me you want to connect, I will connect you to high tension wires.

And don't listen to those telling you "You should be very happy for her that she's gonna reunite with her father. That's the best love you can give to her."
Is a cheap emotional blackmail. If your sister had got the pregnant and hide it from him and he later finds out it will be understandable but he knew and denied it for 16 years which kind of human is that?

And them telling you people that they will sponsor her in any level, did you people tell them you don't have what it takes to sponsor her or has she been lacking anything or feeling sick because she hasn't meet with her biological parents.

There are some mistakes you have to regret till you die and the mistake of denying your child is number 1.

Call the man and tell him if he is looking for something to sponsor to any level, he should look for pig and sponsor.

Please nobody should take my comment personal is just my opinion

crafteck:



What makes you think bride price carry any value aside sentiments, you just compared custom to biology

A child is much more than a biological product. A child lives in a society! Even in the court, customary laws must be followed!

Please forgive, forget and allow the young lady unite with her real dad. All these while the walked away father have been his own prisoner of conscience. Although, the walked away Father cannot repay your family but I can assure you, he will do everything he can to make peace.

And for your sister, she cannot hide the news any longer from the walked away father. As a wise man make use of this opportunity and arrange a meeting,

Be wise and make this period of celebration joyous to all even at NL.

You and everyone in the family have the right to be angry but most importantly the girl knows that she's loved by you all. It's her decision to make, you cannot deny her access to this man and also respect her wishes if she chooses that she doesn't want him in her life. Let her heal and be there to support and respect her wishes. For those saying he has to pay, how much for all that he's missed in her life, no amount of money can replace or fill in those moments. Thank you for being a supportive uncle, God bless you.

Do not let the absentee father have any access to the child. He is useless

EgunMogaji2:
1) She’s not a pet but a human being.
2) She has a father, let them be together.
3) You’re too involved. Be an Uncle that you are.

Hunkle shut up abeg

Graxie:
This have been my stand, they keep thinking by raising up their kids by themselves that they are champions. Use whatever means at your disposal to get him involved, stop using the child is innocent story to halt your life. But as usual, things can never change.

even the man that doesn't want to get involved? The person you quoted said a woman should drop the child off, really? Drop him off like a piece of garbage because 'both parents have to be involved in raising him/her'? I don't understand o

.

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

Nairalanders have given you more than enough good advice.

The only punishment you can mete on that erring father is telling him to give you and your sister some time to think it out and till then he should stay and steer clear of the girl and her mum and you but at the end,he should be allowed to see and cater for his daughter. If he and his family are now responsible,then she should be allowed to visit and spend time with them and her mum's family,that two families hehe. She go enjoy life Wella.

The girl is of age now so you and her mum can reveal everything to her.


All the best

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

If he denied the pregnancy, then he has no business with the child. Customary laws applies in this case, even if the case goes to court.

In many Igbo communities, a father isn't just a sperm donor. If a man didn't pay for a woman's bride price, technically in the customary court, the child isn't his.

Remember, if the man goes to court, he must first of all start with the customary court and he will definitely lose.

The ball is in your sisters court!

KIkiofure:
I am currently two months pregnant with no support from him.. He denied me and his family too..
I pray I birth this child in peace but since he denied me already he can never see this child.. He even called my baby bastard

C
Go now and the do the right thing to avoid this kind of story. Go to child welfare let him sign you will have legal backing.

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

this is very funny I’ve been reading some slowpoke comments on this post since some people lack sense which is very bad And they would be the one claiming old man or woman I laugh in Chinese Bros I’m in your shoe right now but I’m patiently waiting for the man to come around he would know the real me then I’ve been saving to reck him cause I would let him know that he can’t mess with my fam he’s a local politician which I know he would soon leave seat but me been working real hard all because of this particular man to come and claim this girl our family are not rich in anyway but I’m trying to be rich and with God all things are possible back to your matter bro I wish you have money to suffer the guy we are in Nigeria if you have money and you know some people he can’t just go freely as that you’ll suffer him and still collect all dime you’ve spent on her even extra on that girl

Me I’ve had it in my diary that the man would feel so useless whenever he comes to claim the girl I pray we are all alive I’ll gist you guys on nairaland

nanaman:


Yes. Issues like this should not be taken or decided with personal feelings.

The man was bad. YES.

Is the father of the child. YES

Did he take care of the child from birth till date. NO

Has she (the girl) being adopted by another family. NO

No where in the law states an irresponsible man should be denied paternity. Lots of things would be posed as the cause of the problem and if the mother denies, DNA would be requested and since the mother knows, truly, the real father is the new man, then, DNA is ruled out.

I already explained what your sister failed to do at the initial stage which brought her to this step.

To custody issue, I stated, the young girl is of age according to law to decide where she wants to live. The court cannot deny the real dad visit and care para-adventure she decides to stay with her mother. Wherever she decides to stay, the man is now "responsible" to law and he should not be denied his right. That's the law bro.

And where is he going to get the samples for the DNA from. He'd force a 16 year old to provide her blood or swab her mouth?You just said bullshit*t. The irresponsible nigga has no case.

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

Which tribe? It's common with certain tribes. But if they insist, they will pay heavily by coming to marry the child in some culture. The money involved is almost the equivalent of a marriage ceremony.

If you are not interested in the money or no such culture exist in your community, the child has a say. The child should wise to say no to such evil parents. And that settles it. Even if they go to court, the custody of the child will be given to whom the child chooses.

healthserve:



When we tl young ladies not to give in to these lovers at the time of their romance, they'll fight the people advising them. I hate irresponsible men. If men are not ready for children, they should use condoms or tell the women to use pills. This is why many men die untimely. I hate irresponsible men. Tueh

So true, I don't know how a man can father a child without looking after that child. It beats my imagination.

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

Just be calm please

He has the right and access to the girl despite hus stupidity with his family to deny the said girl of her rights

Pls she is matured now, let your sister sit her down and tell her that her father denied her and because she doesn't want to abort her, her family took her in and gave her life

Tell her tgat your current dad accepted her and took her as his own daughter and he made sure she never felt the absence of a geniue dad

Tell your sister to write down all she spent on her from antenatal to her present status

She may not get the real figures but she can even inflate it to her satisfaction and give the bill to the man to pay

That is his punishment for being stupid and if he refuses to cooperate

In her entire life, let her daughter never gives her dad a penny even if she is the only hope

At times, we teach the stupid ones senses if they act as if they don't know

I have no pity for that man