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My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by gbemishile: 5:45pm On Apr 20, 2020
If it ain't working
Get the hell out
Divorce should be the last option and it's distasteful in the sight of God,but if ain't working anymore,please get the hell out
Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by DabuIIIT: 5:45pm On Apr 20, 2020
Bola146:


Why not be honest for once Mr counselor, kindly advise them undecided

Don't mind that woman wrapper.

The man in question must be hiding something terrible from us.. he must have neglected those kids and his wife. He may have abused them..
Why is he not responding here?

8 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by 1stola: 5:45pm On Apr 20, 2020
Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them for errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go. No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to makes things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself . At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down. because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me. My youngest daughter refuse to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual . For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should makes things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me they have becoming out of control ... I can’t correct them it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sorted out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keeps me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up ...

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...
Don't waste your life with people that are making your life miserable for the sake of anything.

If you die, your children will live their lives.

Tell her you'd divorce her if you refuse to change. Start talking to your children too. Start telling them all the things she's doing to hurt you. Let everything be balanced.

If at the end the situation remains the same, divorce her!

1 Like

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by ImaIma1(f): 5:45pm On Apr 20, 2020
Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them for errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go. No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to makes things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself . At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down. because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me. My youngest daughter refuse to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual . For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should makes things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me they have becoming out of control ... I can’t correct them it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sorted out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keeps me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up ...

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...


Obviously, you didn't spend time with your kids and let them get to know you also. How come your wife has the upper hand with them?

If you had invested your time with your children for the past 15years, their mother would not be able to fill their heads with nonsense because they know you for themselves.

But since you are a stranger to them, they will believe what the person they are familiar with tells them.

Men will leave all the parenting to their wives and later cry fowl and say their wives are poisoning the kids against them. Where were you when they were growing up?

12 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by OJOAYODEJI(m): 5:45pm On Apr 20, 2020
I feel your pains but just continue your job as a responsible father to all the kids. Try and neglect her for now, concentrate on your children. Buy the kids there best gifts which you know they will appreciate. Also ensure whenever you are paying there school or any bills ensure you give them the receipt individually and make them know you made the payment of possible.
I actually feel your pains but also ensure you have sessions of prayer with them at morning and night, you can start with the younger ones ,am sure the elderly ones will join you by God's grace.

Just relax your mind. Women can be frustrating at times but a man don't need to kill himself when they bring up there issues.

God will help you.
Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by Amya(f): 5:46pm On Apr 20, 2020
cococandy:
The deliberate bad grammar gives away the fakeness of the story

Stop this. Learn to give benefit of doubts before you end up maligning the minds of some that might want to give useful advice. If a story seems fake to you, scroll down. Such negative comments do more harm than good.

4 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by hollah123: 5:46pm On Apr 20, 2020
Ladylite:


Travel unannounced, for months.

Change your number.

Work, do odd jobs if you must but come back only when she is broken and begging and crying and desperate.... Ensure she begs on phone and each of the children beg and apologize. Do not return unless you are far richer, looking better.


Then travel again just before they get used to you.


She will learn what I have learned, that your potential is unlimited and she is not responsible enough to hold you down. So it will make her humble.
u better don't make matters worse by deceiving the op,it's obvious d op did something bad that makes d woman care less so if he travels for long d wife can just get a sugar boy n it will add to op miseries

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by Nobody: 5:47pm On Apr 20, 2020
Paul8000:

Yes I have hurt my wife a lot in the past ... I have cheated on her so many times with 3 different women.... I impregnated one of them ... my son is 6 years old... I sincerely apologised to her and promised that I will never cheats on her again... she has forgiven me ... that was 6 years ago and I haven’t cheated don her since. All these misunderstandings we are having has nothing to do with me cheating.... my main problem is the way she has turned the kids against me ... anytime we are having some issues ... she keep malice with me and will tell the kids to do the same thing... and when things get back to normal again... she will tell them to start talking with me...

I may be wrong , but that is where the problem with you and your family started from.

Plus, don't think your children did not notice when you were cheating. They know. God knows they know. And they hold a grudge against you permanently because you disrespected their mother by cheating on her.

My advise to you is simple. Pray about what to do next, pray to God to heal your marriage and your relationship with your wife, then go and get some counseling from a pastor with experience in such matters.

N.B: To all those guys shouting 'Side chicks are the best'..this is the result of keeping side chicks. Your child will not respect you.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by AdaoraNK(f): 5:47pm On Apr 20, 2020
Children love their dad more depends on how much affection you give them.

Secondly, the issues you have with your wife may be so 'bad' that it affected the 3 oldest emotionally , though you did not disclose it.

The solution is keep pleading with your wife and turn a new LEAF.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by mimimile93: 5:47pm On Apr 20, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Men dont usually do that... It's sooooooo petty.
There's exit door
Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by GeniusWeb: 5:48pm On Apr 20, 2020
Show this thread to all your children that can read and understand..
Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by vezycash(m): 5:48pm On Apr 20, 2020
Paul8000:

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...

If you're telling the truth, guy commot the house. Familiarity breeds contempt. You are staying in the house too much.

If you're telling the truth, go rent another house somewhere else. The kids will find you come guaranteed.

Even if you don't want to rent, there is another way.

When I was a child, no matter the quarrel btw my parents, we dare not interfere - even when my old man no drop cash.

Because see him once a week. Monday to Saturday, he leaves before 4am and returns earliest 10pm. So when he's home on Sundays, his respect is there.

Get busy, hustle harder, and your respect will appear. You're not the first guy to cheat and will not be the last. If she no want do make she tell you. But if you're still together, she must show you the respect.

In fact, I'm suspecting her self. There's a guy somewhere giving her liver.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by BlackPantherCri: 5:48pm On Apr 20, 2020
You lost my sympathy when you mentioned you cheated on her.

Cheating... Na, for me, that's the end of love, fidelity, trust and respect. Sorry Bro, ask your creator for forgiveness

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by Elinosweet143(f): 5:51pm On Apr 20, 2020
I can imagine your pain. I advice you try and have a sit out with your kids, take them out on a treat then sit and talk with them without the interference of your wife try to know what their problem is with u, make peace with them that should be the first move if u succeed in getting them to understand everything without painting their mother black, then you'll also tell them how much u love their mom and ask for their help, i bet u they will intervene and help restore peace but u must back up your plans with prayers and show more love than anger. Do this properly and thank me later
Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by DanseMacabre(m): 5:51pm On Apr 20, 2020
cococandy:
The
deliberate bad grammar gives away the fakeness of the story

Hmmm. You've got a good head on your shoulders.
Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by chatinent: 5:51pm On Apr 20, 2020
I'd advise you don't wash your dirty linen in public.
Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by Campala(f): 5:52pm On Apr 20, 2020
If only we can hear her own side of the story cos I believe she has her own story to tell.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by fk001(m): 5:55pm On Apr 20, 2020
cococandy:
The deliberate bad grammar gives away the fakeness of the story

So you have never seen a home where one of the parents is turning the children against the other?
Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by sexybash(f): 5:55pm On Apr 20, 2020
DominusPrime:
There's something you aren't telling us. Is it just cheating that made your wife like this or there's more? I feel you have really hurt that woman somehow even though your story doesn't seem complete
Oya complete it for him
Story writer
Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by Uniqueteco(m): 5:55pm On Apr 20, 2020
My brother, there's another joystick outthere giving your wife the joy of her life. Now do these: 1. find a discrete way of running a DNA test on the children.
2. Call all the children to order after confirming you fathered them and if they didn't adhere bros, LEAVE THE HOUSE FOR THEM. A time is coming when your children will need you.

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by Martinez39s(m): 5:55pm On Apr 20, 2020
Gracealone:
The main issue that may make your wife disrespect you is your lack of money. If you are the breadwinner, it cannot be this bad.
It's one thing for a woman to disrespect a man, it's another thing to wickedly turn his children unjustly against him. If a woman has issues with the man, let her keep the dispute between her and her husband. How can a parent claim to totally love her children when she uses them as mere pawns in her quarrels with her husband? Why unjustly turn the children's heart from a father that loves them just because of a dispute with the father? It takes a soul with a devilish, selfish, and thoughtless aspect to do something like that.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by Adeyebi24(m): 5:55pm On Apr 20, 2020
Your suggestion make sense bro.
Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by Amya(f): 5:55pm On Apr 20, 2020
This story hurts me so much because my mum played that card too. Now my dad is late and I wish I had a better relationship with him before he passed. My Dad wasn't a bad man, it's now so obvious I was heavily brainwashed by my mum. I hope your kids dont feel as i do someday.

8 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by Timileyin1234(m): 5:55pm On Apr 20, 2020
If you have your money, get another woman pregnant and leave them. She is a bitter woman. That was why our fore-fathers pluralized women
Somebody whey don born 5pikin expecting me to be faithful. I can’t take my wife inciting my children against me, if I couldn’t beat senses into her, I would marry another wife

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by Dantedasz(m): 5:55pm On Apr 20, 2020
1Sharon:
Using kids as pawns. Pathetic..why do women do that crap

Usually women with low self esteem issues do this.
Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by HazardMan(m): 5:58pm On Apr 20, 2020
Do it the gentleman way. Stop talking to your wife and the 3 disrespectful brats. Don't eat anything from her, just act like they don't exist. Don't keep money for food so they will know the impact you are having on them as a father. Go out, buy food for yourself and the two little kids always.
Do this for just 1week and she will be the next person to come on nairaland with topics like "HOW TO GET BACK MY MAN". "HOW TO ASK YOUR MAN FOR FORGIVENESS". "HOW DO I APOLOGIZE TO MY MAN, E.T.C".

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by richmindx: 5:58pm On Apr 20, 2020
Kindly follow up those advice but don't also forget to find a way to embarrassed your wife in the midst of your children and the neighbors. To do this, try to make an arrangement with a guy that's very close to which your wife doesn't know. Tell him to come to your house and act as a man friend to your wife. He will come to your house when your wife is at home, he will confront your wife as a guy man why your wife refused to visit him again after she seduced him and make him to fall in love with her...etc


Ironic:
D'fvq did I just read? Like, you'll send your kids on an errand, your wife will stop them and you won't do anything?

Like, you don't flog your kids?
You fvckin claiming Western pattern of raising kids by being a simp to them all to be tagged a modern dad?
You gotta be a typical African dad asap!

Bruv, the first thing you need to do now is to make them to be scared of you. Very necessary at this point.

Next time you send any of them message and he/she refuses because of your wife, flog the hell out of that one, if your wife tries to misbehave, flog her too with well-deserved uppercut and smackdown. If possible, stop eating her food because she's capable of doing something unexpected with what you eat.

They'll become scared of your recent behavior and adjust. Strict dads keep the best, calm and organized home.

What next? Your wife will try to manipulate them by using your new attitude towards them. Keep being strict towards them and still do your fatherly works towards them.

Trust me, you need to go very hard right now since your soft ways ain't working.

Mothers manipulations towards their kids against their dad can only function when they are tender, when they grow, they MUST know the truth and the mum will be at the loosing end.

If you don't have the mind to do what I've advised--Divorce your wife. You can't keep housing a demon who's quick to use your kids against you because she's closer to them.

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by Amya(f): 5:58pm On Apr 20, 2020
Martinez39s:
It's one thing for a woman to disrespect a man, it's another thing to wickedly turn his children unjustly against him. If a woman has issues with the man, let her keep the dispute between her and her husband. How can a parent claim to totally love her children when she uses them as mere pawns in her quarrels with her husband? Why unjustly turn the children's heart from a father that loves them just because of a dispute with the father? It takes a soul with a devilish, selfish, and thoughtless aspect to do something like that.

100% true. That woman does not even love her children, cos if she did, she wouldn't involve them in her personal dispute with their dad. Her act is messing them psychologically. All for cheap points. Sad.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by hermesprogidy(m): 5:58pm On Apr 20, 2020
Fucking weak motherfucker. I don't believe this story.

4 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by Overlordrichy(m): 6:00pm On Apr 20, 2020
Paul8000:

Yes I have hurt my wife a lot in the past ... I have cheated on her so many times with 3 different women.... I impregnated one of them ... my son is 6 years old... I sincerely apologised to her and promised that I will never cheats on her again... she has forgiven me ... that was 6 years ago and I haven’t cheated don her since. All these misunderstandings we are having has nothing to do with me cheating.... my main problem is the way she has turned the kids against me ... anytime we are having some issues ... she keep malice with me and will tell the kids to do the same thing... and when things get back to normal again... she will tell them to start talking with me...

Its like you don't love your wife again, you only want your children
I'm sorry to say I don't think you will be able to solve this problem
Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by professore(m): 6:00pm On Apr 20, 2020
Have you considered your wife my be possessed? Well, it is not the case of hitting her. You have one solution. Pray till you see changes.
Re: My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me by Nobody: 6:00pm On Apr 20, 2020
You and your wife need to put your act together fast.
Your children will soon lose respect for you both.
The primary thing you and your wife owe your children is to respect each other, especially in their presence.
Don't even attempt to use force to make your children 'turn to your side'.
Let them see you treat their mother right and let them see their mother treat you right.

When you have finally won the heart of your wife, let her know that you dislike her discussing your issues with the children.
Except you have forgotten how to win your wife's heart, make her feel loved again.
One thing most women don't know is that when they discuss their grievances between their spouse with their children, they reduce their respect and end up traumatizing the kids...

You have not been there for your wife, your children have been performing your role of a husband and confidante, and this is not a responsible act on your part.

Your wife is really bitter with you, and it didn't start today. I'll sincerely tell you, if it's me, I won't let you have it easy with me after you've hurt me over again.
It is very easy to win a woman's heart again, most men don't just know this.

If what you wife is accusing you of is true, turn a new leaf.
Do all you can to work out your relationship with your wife. That is the best thing you can do for your children.

4 Likes

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