Biglittlelois:
Try and look for where she's staying, take a picture of her and whoever she's staying with, a picture of the house, and get the address, when you go for the village meeting, present your findings to them with the mother present, and tell them right there that you don't want to have anything to do with the mother and promiscuous daughter again.

Juliusmomoh:
Note: some people will never change even though u put them in hell, So let her be. Even the bible say " mind your business "

thorpido:
Report to the village head.That's the only way to exonerate yourself.

Despair:

My mom wouldn't let me report her even. I am an only child, so I understand her fears but I have told her they can't hurt me by God's Grace. She's been pleading with me all day not to go ahead.

Although, I already reported her to two family members who have washed their hands off her daughter's lifestyle long before now.

She knows her daughter lives with a man...they talk and all...but she's hiding it from the villagers as they already know the life they lead, hence her claiming I sent her packing.

Her former boyfriend told her mom and myself point blank he couldn't marry her as she would flirt outside marriage. She was dating his cousin behind his back...thinking he wouldn't find out.

There's a whole lot but...posterity will judge us all.

The painful thing is, I told the mom when I suspected she was arranging her things to move out. She told me to ignore her, that her father's side are known to keep malice.

Ishilove:

And why does what the village people think bother you?

LilMissFavvy:
You did not include her age range in your write up? We all know that when parents fail in bringing up their children properly, it's difficult for strangers to achieve that. If you have spoken to her and she refuse to change, let her go.You said her prosmiscuos attitude was known in the village, so continue to defend yourself when people ask you questions, they will understand. I don't see a need meeting the village head, the issue is too minor to meet your village head. Mind you many people have been in your situation of false accusation, yet they don't mind. Defend yourself as much as you can, Pay a deaf ear when possible, life goes on!

Despair:


26...
Yes, she pimped her younger friend to a married man who had no child. The friend got pregnant and married the man, thereby sending the first wife packing.

I am trying to but it's really not easy hearing the lies. Not many would ask to know the truth.

yettymuse:
you should get busy so you would take your mind off her. If you continue to try to debunk every lies or rumors about you, you'll loose focus on your own growth. Time is money darling, stop wasting it on things you cannot change!. Peace.

Biglittlelois:
Try and look for where she's staying, take a picture of her and whoever she's staying with, a picture of the house, and get the address, when you go for the village meeting, present your findings to them with the mother present, and tell them right there that you don't want to have anything to do with the mother and promiscuous daughter again.


There are some people in this life that will never listen to advice or take caution, an experienced calamity is always the best beautiful teacher.

Despair:


The people she's telling about me are her cliques who think "City people are not accommodating"
I also don't want any attacks. I know my people very well.

I feel reporting her will gag her a bit and also clear me of their lies.

Despair:


26...
Yes, she pimped her younger friend to a married man who had no child. The friend got pregnant and married the man, thereby sending the first wife packing.

I am trying to but it's really not easy hearing the lies. Not many would ask to know the truth.

Professorcplus:
Humm. Sir, you can't help someone that's already determined to get herself destroyed. She has always been promiscuous right from teen and has made it her only ticket to fullfil her desires. To her, you are just an obstacle to her success and if you didn't leave her matter, she might lay false accusations against you which might land you to prison or early grave.

Even her mother who suppose to tell her bitter truth is endorsing her lifestyle because of what want to eat (iya oko bounvita). Mothers like this are always bias in judgement so far they get that goodie and money .

Obviously, she (girl) left your house because she isn't ready to stop her promiscuous lifestyle and her mother just want to protect her selfish interest. My advice for you is to cut tie with her and her mother. There are numerous men's house she can stay. If she want to perish she should perish in her mother's and man's place not your.

Ishilove:

If she is 26 then she is fully responsible for her own actions and will bear the brunt later in life. When you report to the village head, wash your hands off that side of your family and face your own life.

Next time mind who you draw close to you.

Despair:


Thank you so much Sir for your input. My apologies for not indicating my gender...I'm a lady.

I was already moving on before the lies started flying around. I am hurt because she's someone I love dearly. I thought I'd be able to break that chain.

Her mother leads same life too. Sorry to say this here, she goes after people's husbands.
She was angry with her for pimping her friend to the married man instead of herself.

Just like you and some others have said, I'll try to cut them off and move on. However, I don't think that will be totally possible as her child is soooo fond of me. The little girl will always be in my life. I hope that I can take her away when I have the means as I don't want her to be influenced by their lifestyles.

Klass99:
Hhmm, when people show you who they are believe them! That proverbial saying - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, rings true here.

There was a 34 year old man insisting on his thread that he must marry a woman not older than 26 years. See wetin a 26 year old don dey do?

OP, if all you've shared is the truth and people already know their lifestyle back home, stop stressing and move on with your life. Leave her daughter alone with her, taking her in, will be you courting more problems into your life. Take the child in, only if mother and grandmother die.

Why does it matter to you so much, that the village head knows your side of the story? Please listen to your mum

Despair:


Thank you so much Sir for your input. My apologies for not indicating my gender...I'm a lady.

I was already moving on before the lies started flying around. I am hurt because she's someone I love dearly. I thought I'd be able to break that chain.

Her mother leads same life too. Sorry to say this here, she goes after people's husbands.
She was angry with her for pimping her friend to the married man instead of herself.

Just like you and some others have said, I'll try to cut them off and move on. However, I don't think that will be totally possible as her child is soooo fond of me. The little girl will always be in my life. I hope that I can take her away when I have the means as I don't want her to be influenced by their lifestyles.



I guess I learnt the hard but better than not. Thank you so much for your time.

I am a very emotional being and have been crying all day at home. I hate false accusations.

I hope that before the end of the week, I'd have forgotten all about it and moved on.

Mariangeles:

You can't change how people choose to behave.
Try not to think too much about what people say about you.
Let them say whatever they want, it does not take anything away from you, neither should you let it trouble you or change who you are.
Don't escalate the matter by going to the village head, it's not as if she's missing right?

Despair:
I had to create another moniker for this and hope to seek genuine advice via this medium.

I had this close family member living with me until recently when her new boyfriend came to move her things to his place while I was away. Pls, note that, this is not the first time she'd be doing this. She once left after I scolded her for passing the night at a stranger's place...a random boyfriend. She came back to live with me again afterwards, I was warned not to let her in due to her prosmicuity. She's the type that moves in with any new found boyfriend. Her inability to do that yet again at my place made her start picking issues with me. I reported her to her aiding and albeiting mom, who told me to ignore her excesses as she was at the time keeping malice with her mom. She eventually left while I was at work. Was told by the neighbours, her boyfriend came to move her things with her. The same guy I tried to protect his interest, the actual quarrel started when I didn't let her to go meet another guy who had just arrived (from abroad), yet the same guy thinks I am a bad person.

He didn't deem it feat to find out what the issue was...next was to avoid me before taking her away. I called him to inquire, he denied knowing her whereabouts whereas she lives with him.

I welcomed this guy in as I wanted her to keep a man.

My faith and upbringing doesn't permit fornication but I didn't force my beliefs on her. Only wanted her to keep one.

My crime:
She can't have multiple boyfriends whilst at my place

She gives her mom cuts from her rendevouz...she had a child while in Junior class and doesn't have a WAEC certificate at least.

Her mom has all the numbers of her clients, even whilst with me, she'd call her that Mr A. was around and would travel to the village to meet up.

Whilst in the village, she'd move in with them until it goes sour. They hate it when I visit home as she couldn't bring the random ones into the house. She was doing that in the village.

The reason she moved to my place was because everyone knows her there and she was hoping to settle down. Hoping to settle down but not ready to change?!

Here's my issue;

Her mother, who endorses the life she leads, now goes about the village telling everyone I sent her daughter packing. The same woman that told me to ignore as she is known to have no manners.

I plan on reporting her mom to the village head to caution as I am tired of having to defend myself every time.

I didn't send her away and I am TIRED of defending myself. I have been emotional over this as it doesn't seem to end!

Pls help me...

Cc: lalasticlala mynd44 ishilove