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Help I Am Depressed - Family - Nairaland

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I Am Depressed / I Am Depressed Due To Excess Billing From Home / Am Depressed And Keep Thinking About Dieing (2) (3) (4)

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Help I Am Depressed by Damilolacoker(f): 8:16am On Jul 05, 2020
I got a job in February and yes I got his consent to go for it. It seemed like he had changed and was willing to let me work but I was wrong. Things got worse at home, I worked from 8_5 and I would come back home everyday to meet an angry husband. He would complain and often tell me i was being an irresponsible mother.

I went to his mom and she told me to be prayerful that it was the devil at work.. Yes I prayed, I even tried fasting but my his jealousy got worse . He started to accuse me of sleeping with my bosses and would often say " I know what ladies like you do at work " God knows I have never cheated on my husband. My home is now a battle field.

Last month, he came to me at night and pleaded with me to drop my job. He said he's scared I may cheat on him. He begged me to stay home and take care of our child . I wanted to say yes, but that would be throwing away what I love the most. I don't know how to do anything else. I love being a wife and a mother but I also love my job.

2 weeks ago , I found out I was pregnant. I guess my contraceptives failed me. I had been using it without his consent since I found out he was trying to get me pregnant. I told him last night and he was really excited , I also quit my job. Now I feel empty , i don't want to have a baby. I'm depressed , I cry a lot and I don't know what to do anymore , My heart hurts a lot. I love my husband and divorce is not an option. I don't know what to do anymore, I have no one to run to. I'm alone , I don't think I can carry this child , I am tired and frustrated.
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Sankabson(m): 8:22am On Jul 05, 2020
Is he working ?
Who’s paying the bills at home ?

1 Like

Re: Help I Am Depressed by pretydiva(f): 8:28am On Jul 05, 2020
I think you should see a therapist
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Neroiam(m): 8:28am On Jul 05, 2020
Hmmmn

Lemme just tell you, if you terminate that pregnancy, you'll regret it.

Stay at home if your husband is able to pay all the bills without complaining.

You can start something at home. you must not go out.

1 Like

Re: Help I Am Depressed by anthonyuncle(m): 8:29am On Jul 05, 2020
u quit ur job when u need it most?
u better look for a way to get it back or get another one asap

2 Likes

Re: Help I Am Depressed by SweetCunt97(f): 8:29am On Jul 05, 2020
Damilolacoker:
I got a job in February and yes I got his consent to go for it. It seemed like he had changed and was willing to let me work but I was wrong. Things got worse at home, I worked from 8_5 and I would come back home everyday to meet an angry husband. He would complain and often tell me i was being an irresponsible mother.

Then he became aggressive , he would force me to have sex with him every night. I went to his mom and she told me to be prayerful that it was the devil at work.. Yes I prayed, I even tried fasting but my his jealousy got worse . He started to accuse me of sleeping with my bosses and would often say " I know what ladies like you do at work " God knows I have never cheated on my husband. My home is now a battle field.

Last month, he came to me at night and pleaded with me to drop my job. He said he's scared I may cheat on him. He begged me to stay home and take care of our child . I wanted to say yes, but that would be throwing away what I love the most. I don't know how to do anything else. I love being a wife and a mother but I also love my job.

2 weeks ago , I found out I was pregnant. I guess my contraceptives failed me. I had been using it without his consent since I found out he was trying to get me pregnant. I told him last night and he was really excited , I also quit my job. Now I feel empty , i don't want to have a baby. I'm depressed , I cry a lot and I don't know what to do anymore , My heart hurts a lot. I love my husband and divorce is not an option. I don't know what to do anymore, I have no one to run to. I'm alone , I don't think I can carry this child , I am tired and frustrated.

It's your womb, you have the right over it. Do not let anyone dull your shine or happiness for their selfish reasons. But unfortunately this is Nigeria where a woman's voice does not matter so... If you really don't want the baby, you know what to do though I think that would even put you in hot soup more.

1 Like

Re: Help I Am Depressed by SweetCunt97(f): 8:30am On Jul 05, 2020
Neroiam:
Hmmmn

Lemme just tell you, if you terminate that pregnancy, you'll regret it.

Stay at home if your husband is able to pay all the bills without complaining.

You can start something at home. you must not go out.
Like seriously? She must not go out? Never knew marriage is a prison o.
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Aimerosa25(f): 8:58am On Jul 05, 2020
My sister,u need to see a therapist, depression is something that consumes one if not handled carefully,u sound unhappy in this marriage,if u r not ready for this child,it's your womb so u know what's best and good for u,also get something doing ,else this marriage see finish will begin to enter.
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Neroiam(m): 9:03am On Jul 05, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Like seriously? She must not go out? Never knew marriage is a prison o.

You've misinterpreted that. I mean; it's not mandatory she goes out to work.

Her husband's insecurities are understandable yet ridiculous. If a woman wants to cheat while at home, she'll.
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Ningen(m): 9:11am On Jul 05, 2020
Your SO is a transparent man but you're not!

It's very selfish of you to keep all this within and be emotionally withdrawn. You're hurting, empty and depressed but you refused to open up.

You're not alone.
You have your husband to run too.
Communicate and let him know if you love him.

You women should stop this wickedness now.
Now dude is all excited about your pregnancy thinking it's a mutual feeling but he's so wrong.

2 Likes

Re: Help I Am Depressed by SweetCunt97(f): 9:16am On Jul 05, 2020
Neroiam:


You've misinterpreted that. I mean; it's not mandatory she goes out to work.

Her husband's insecurities are understandable yet ridiculous. If a woman wants to cheat while at home, she'll.
Thank you. He's probably cheating hence his insecurities.

3 Likes

Re: Help I Am Depressed by Ishilove: 9:18am On Jul 05, 2020
You and this your husband you're always complaining about. So he finally allowed you to work and still made you quit the job?

Una go just dey make marriage taya person. I don't know where women see men like this to marry. If you no marry, wahala. Marry, wahala.

Op you're just 24, married 3 years and already facing this kind of headache. Perhaps if you had known you would waited a bit to study the kind of man your husband is and you would have discovered he has major insecurity issues.

Wo, the deed is done. Pack your load to your father's house and take a breather before you develop high BP

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help I Am Depressed by SweetCunt97(f): 9:18am On Jul 05, 2020
Ningen:
Your SO is a transparent man but you're not!

It's very selfish of you to keep all this within and be emotionally withdrawn. You're hurting, empty and depressed but you refused to open up.

You're not alone.
You have your husband to run too.
Communicate and let him know if you love him.

You women should stop this wickedness now.
Now dude is all excited about your pregnancy thinking it's a mutual feeling but he's so wrong.


just look at you! You think she never discussed with him? A guy who forcefully sleeps with her to simply get her pregnant and tie her down. Guy u biased. Anyways marriage is for better or worse so make she manage am
Re: Help I Am Depressed by thorpido(m): 9:38am On Jul 05, 2020
You should have sought advise before quitting your job.It was a very wrong move.
It's a key strategy for men that are manipulative.

You should have even taken your time before settling with this man.First he says you are sleeping with your bosses and then says he thinks you would sleep with them.Confused and insecured being.I don't know where some of you find men like this.

Well,going on to have the baby seems like your realistic option so you have to prepare yourself mentally.
You also need to decide what you want in this marriage and your long term future.Seems you've got a hard one to deal with.
I hope you find your happiness.See a therapist/psychologist as needs may be.

1 Like

Re: Help I Am Depressed by eyinjuege: 9:43am On Jul 05, 2020
Depression is real and even worse in pregnancy.
There's a higher chance of it extending post partum.
Speak to a therapist as a matter of urgency or see a psychiatrist as you may need antidepressants too with counselling to see you through this

2 Likes

Re: Help I Am Depressed by Nobody: 9:50am On Jul 05, 2020
Well you are pregnant so you need to stay healthy for the baby. May be you need to find a stay at home Job. As for the force sex ,some men are guilty try stop sleeping naked if you use to.
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Ningen(m): 9:54am On Jul 05, 2020
SweetCunt97:
just look at you! You think she never discussed with him? A guy who forcefully sleeps with her to simply get her pregnant and tie her down. Guy u biased. Anyways marriage is for better or worse so make she manage am

Nothing in her post hints at a discussion with hubby concerning her stand against pregnancy.

She's even using contraceptive secretly.

It was her undoing.
She should have let him know.
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Neroiam(m): 9:54am On Jul 05, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Thank you. He's probably cheating hence his insecurities.

In a whistle-stop, you've perhaps scathed a man who could be innocent.

On a second thought, he's espied philandering or rather slutty women frolicking with male colleagues or bosses.

Well, it's quite a pity not to have known the kind of wife he married.

That's why i advise young people who wish to marry; marry your friend. Saves you a lot of troubles.
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Neroiam(m): 10:03am On Jul 05, 2020
SweetCunt97:
just look at you! You think she never discussed with him? A guy who forcefully sleeps with her to simply get her pregnant and tie her down. Guy u biased. Anyways marriage is for better or worse so make she manage am

Where did you learn "marriage is for better or worse" ? Eh? undecided
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Alennsar(f): 10:14am On Jul 05, 2020
Try to get a new hobby for yourself, especially something that will make you feel better and happy too. Happiness is within your heart so help yourself and your baby too. Try to be frank with your husband don't hide anything, because it is not good and let him know that your affairs should be decided through mutual consultation between you too.
See a therapist if need be. May God help you
Re: Help I Am Depressed by SweetCunt97(f): 10:18am On Jul 05, 2020
Neroiam:


Where did you learn "marriage is for better or worse" ? Eh? undecided
No b wetin dey for the oath that couples say "I do" to?
Re: Help I Am Depressed by SweetCunt97(f): 10:20am On Jul 05, 2020
Neroiam:


In a whistle-stop, you've perhaps scathed a man who could be innocent.

On a second thought, he's espied philandering or rather slutty women frolicking with male colleagues or bosses.

Well, it's quite a pity not to have known the kind of wife he married.

That's why i advise young people who wish to marry; marry your friend. Saves you a lot of troubles.
This has nothing to do with knowing the kinda woman you married. Seems you don't how how irrational, insecurities and jealousy make people behave huh?
Re: Help I Am Depressed by SweetCunt97(f): 10:21am On Jul 05, 2020
uruba23:
Well you are pregnant so you need to stay healthy for the baby. May be you need to find a stay at home Job. As for the force sex ,some men are guilty try stop sleeping naked if you use to.
sleeping naked? Like seriously Lol
Re: Help I Am Depressed by yanabasee1(m): 10:36am On Jul 05, 2020
OP, if you love working and you know also that your family needs you at the same time....Why not venture into a small businesses around your area?


Do a business that will give you enough time to attend to your family and at the same time free your thoughts from the burden....



But, taken contraception without his consent being his wife is evil and devilish.....If I was your husband, I'd easily divorce you for that,..You are not sincere and honest...
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Neroiam(m): 10:36am On Jul 05, 2020
SweetCunt97:
No b wetin dey for the oath that couples say "I do" to?

Shebi the oath na for church?
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Neroiam(m): 10:50am On Jul 05, 2020
SweetCunt97:
This has nothing to do with knowing the kinda woman you married. Seems you don't how how irrational, insecurities and jealousy make people behave huh?

Well, if i must reiterate, it has everything to do with the kind of woman he married. A lot of those mumble shuffle would be averted if they're friends.

"Olè nô ôrio okiokę oré wie'abo okeh idhovè" isoko proverb

"A yam left in a pot will feel cold to the hands at dawn, but in the days of trouble, that same yam will peel your hand"

Again i say to young people; marry your friend
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Nobody: 11:11am On Jul 05, 2020
Damilolacoker:
I got a job in February and yes I got his consent to go for it. It seemed like he had changed and was willing to let me work but I was wrong. Things got worse at home, I worked from 8_5 and I would come back home everyday to meet an angry husband. He would complain and often tell me i was being an irresponsible mother.

Then he became aggressive , he would force me to have sex with him every night. I went to his mom and she told me to be prayerful that it was the devil at work.. Yes I prayed, I even tried fasting but my his jealousy got worse . He started to accuse me of sleeping with my bosses and would often say " I know what ladies like you do at work " God knows I have never cheated on my husband. My home is now a battle field.

Last month, he came to me at night and pleaded with me to drop my job. He said he's scared I may cheat on him. He begged me to stay home and take care of our child . I wanted to say yes, but that would be throwing away what I love the most. I don't know how to do anything else. I love being a wife and a mother but I also love my job.

2 weeks ago , I found out I was pregnant. I guess my contraceptives failed me. I had been using it without his consent since I found out he was trying to get me pregnant. I told him last night and he was really excited , I also quit my job. Now I feel empty , i don't want to have a baby. I'm depressed , I cry a lot and I don't know what to do anymore , My heart hurts a lot. I love my husband and divorce is not an option. I don't know what to do anymore, I have no one to run to. I'm alone , I don't think I can carry this child , I am tired and frustrated.

You don't love yourself and its very hard to advise a woman that doesn't love herself. I wish you a hitch-free 9months.. Hugs!

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help I Am Depressed by Damilolacoker(f): 11:29am On Jul 05, 2020
Sankabson:
Is he working ?
Who’s paying the bills at home ?


He is
Re: Help I Am Depressed by nelogee7(m): 1:42pm On Jul 05, 2020
Divorce him
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Nobody: 1:46pm On Jul 05, 2020
You shouldn't have quit your job
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Neroiam(m): 2:04pm On Jul 05, 2020
nelogee7:
Divorce him

Guy ..u harsh o.. if someone tells your wife to divorce u because of this, how u go feel?
Re: Help I Am Depressed by Alooone: 4:18pm On Jul 05, 2020
Why did u quit the job... Have u not seen pregnant women that work

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