It depends on the child. As the Yoruba mothers will say, there are two sects of children omo; egba (a child that listens only when beaten or threatened with cane) and omo enu (a child that needs just slight abuse, facial signal, and conselling to yield to instructions).

Left for me, I don't advocate for flogging of children. Parents can be strict and instil discipline on their children without having to use cane on them.

bizme:
Many times the fact that your children comply with your expectations after flogging doesn't mean you have achieved the goal of parenting. Many times it means we have bullied them into submission. Just like many kids would obey a bully in school, not out of reference or understanding, but out of primal fear.

Have you wondered why many children from strict upbringing mess up big time the first time they get to higher institution where no parents are to police them with flogging?

Children are children. They have an independent mind, and it is okay to cultivate communicating with them and even seek other options for exerting discipline like denying them of something they so much desire. Being children, there are many forms this could take.

If we are being objective, most of the flogging of children taking place around involve a scary dose of undisciplined temper on the part of the parent/teacher. Together with so much verbal abuses from them. The same with teachers in school: you explain something to your pupils which they don't understand. Rather than seek ways to communicate effectively, you start caning them blue black as though the process of caning would magically impart understanding.

I am not sure many people had the kind of flogging I had growing up, both at home and in school. It was almost literally a daily phenomenon. All of them out of anger. Yes, I have turned out marvelously well, but that's more in spite of those floggings rather than because of them. I plainly became immune to the beating, and very adept at hiding my terrible deeds. Last year when I told my mum some of those things I had been involved with as a teenager and living away from home, she almost held her head out of fear thanking God that I had survived them. Unfortunately, both of them have destroyed any semblance of friendship that should have existed between us as parents and children.

Our parents should learn to communicate with mouth rather than sticks.

Nonsense. How can you equate correctional spanking to bully and still add submission to it ?

No single thing /approach on earth that does not have it advantages and disadvantages. Beat and talk as and when necessary.

Have you ever wonder how some grown up ass ended up with empty brain, no discipline, no knowledge of anything worth emulating, no moral, no values.....they follows anything sheepishly.

How many spoilt brats that ended up wasting every resources invested on them.....let me stop here....

I think its unwise to compare and contrast on issue like this.........because there seem to be some influences beyond our grasp that direct each and every individual paths in life....flogging or not.

Some folks without parent figure sometimes ended up better that those that were train; some with iron hands and other with soft hand.....but all in all I apply talks and beating as and when necessary.

African, especially Nigerians are becoming brain dead by the day....many people nowadays subject everything to how they feel about it without any factual reason.....and I think to a large extent sadly, contribute to our Summersaulting policies that has and will not move us forward in any particular progressing direction.....we tend to lose focus on the purpose of things...


Same way females has started engaging in some fruitless arguments in favour of abolishing house chores; feeling it is enslaving their gender but then recommending it for males that is overwhelmed with more tasking, technical and risky house chores.......

CalliDora1:


Of course I'll stick to the policy. As for my own children from my womb, I'll give corporal punishment. It helps. Trust me .

Until one day when someone will report you and investigation carried out and your children are taken away from you. Africans need to evolve about the way we raise our kids, all these beatings, punishment, abuse, bullying into submission are not the best way to raise kids. Look at our society, does the beating really reflect positively?

chii8:
The thing is that when sanctioning an erring child, there are one million things to do to get them properly disciplined..it varies with each child, you just have to study them and know what works for such child.

I have a 5year old boy that what works for in terms of discipline is just to "quarantine" him(lolzzz),he will promise you heaven and earth just to be free, the thing scares him seriously.I use that to drive a point....I think it's same with every child just as a parent,be patient and fine out what works for that child....

but you didn't mention the possibility of another succumbing to cane to quarantine since every child differs and respond to different displinary measures

Yes ooooo

A few strokes of the cane from time to time is needed

It is almost mandatory especially for stubborn kids. It's non negotiable.

authority2006:


Until one day when someone will report you and investigation carried out and your children are taken away from you. Africans need to evolve about the way we raise our kids, all these beatings, punishment, abuse, bullying into submission are not the best way to raise kids. Look at our society, does the beating really reflect positively?

Yes it does

Or else pikin for dey talk 'f*ck you' for in mama for where all man dey

Seems you don't know how these oyinbo children behave

Mindlog:


As a teacher, should you find yourself working in a Country where you dare not beat a child, what will you do when a pupil is being unruly and obstinate?

but that's not the case here . This is like condemning someone for being against white wedding because the person thinks he or she is in Nigeria and should go with out tradition. Hope you can also ask your 18 years old child to leave because you think he or she is already an adult like is done outside here

kingxsamz:


So in summary, if your Parents didn't flog you after skipping school lessons to watch Robin hood, your life would have been wayward by now. Ok.

I prolly would have formed it a habit and it would have affected my studies. So, the earlier you correct a child the better because if they grow stronger than you, you won't enjoy your old age.

Ok

I honestly don't know what I would do. Sometimes these kids just get on your nerves. One needs lots of emotional maturity and intelligence to handle and avoid harming them.

It's crazy how people are against men beating women, but are in favor of parents beating their children. The latter is worst because children are much more vulnerable -- emotionally, physically, and psychologically.

When I hear some Nigerians saying don't beat a child just like the white men no matter what,I laugh.Hand ur kid over to such people to live with,and u will be shocked over the outcome.We claim to be more empathetic even more than God who taught us how to love one another but in reality,it is pure hypocrisy.
Just as our faces are different,so are our characters and inclinations.There are kids that won't be useful without flogging.Some need flogging once in a while,some will learn easily by other means of corrections apart from flogging.As an adult,study a child under u and find out what works for him/her.
But know you that every kid needs to be trained to be tough to some extent in preparation for the future .This is because,life itself is tough and doesn't pamper anyone.Lets be sincere for once.Adults including those who have kids are flogged and beaten daily by the police,market task force,local vigilante etc.I have seen where mothers were flogged mercilessly for flouting simple order of the local market officials.Ask anyone that is a commercial driver,and he will tell u how often he has been slapped by touts,security agents,revenue collectors.Thats why many of them tend to be saucy,wild and ever ready to fight at all times.
So,the kids u are pampering will soon find themselves in the real world where they can't make it unless they are tough and u can't be there to protect them again,even if u are,both u and ur grown up children will l lose some teeth with bruised faces .Even the holy book upholds spanking,but mortals claiming to be wiser and more loving than God are saying don't spank any child.If u don't spank ur child that needs spanking for corrective purpose,he will spank you when he grows and no one will be there to help u.He will only be beaten to stupor and probably jailed if he tries that on someone's else parents
In conclusion,flogging can't be ruled out as disciplinary measure,but it should not be abused.Dont flog in anger and don't over flog Don't flog a child all over his body for u may injure him or leave him with scars Flog for the kids that can't behave without flogging pointing out to the child the reason for the punishment which is to correct him.Flog few strokes only on palms or buttocks depending on the offence and the child's ability to bear spanking But in most other cases ,administer other corrective measures except if the child is very stubborn.Dont flog a child for an offence committed the first time.Caution him and flog if other options fail.Be persistent,for training a child is where the labour lies .
Even if u refuse to discipline ur child as deemed fit,the society will deal with him without mercy as he grows and steps on toes.But will u be able to bear the pain when the time comes as he turns to blame u.

@bizme. The goal of punishment (negative reinforcement) is to teach the child that consequences follow bad decisions and the goal of rewarding good behaviour (positive reinforcement) is to teach the child that there a beneficial incentives associated with good behaviour. The problem with today's parents is that they have misused both punishments and rewards. Many parents today punish out of anger and end up harming the child mentally, physically and even spiritually. Also many parents have often provided rewards for reasons other than providing an incentive for good behavior.

Used in the right manner punishments and rewards can be effectively combined as a means of socialisation and hence I do not believe in the unbalanced use of positive discipline alone because life itself is not entirely positive and the well rounded child must be trained to respond appropriately to the positive as well as the negative.

bizme:
I completely agree with you. My boy too is five years old, and without having to beat him he is a very kind and smart kid.

My parents believed so much in beating and it ended up building a massive distance between them and the kids. We simply got better at hiding our thoughts and actions from them. Having such a distance from by kids is one thing that scares the hell out of me.

Well, permit me to disagree with you two. I have a 3 year old daughter who sometimes behave like a 'cow'. Whenever she's angry, she throws herself on the floor and destroys whatever is in her sight. At first, I tried speaking and going easy on her until I realized that she was testing my resolve. Then I remembered my father's favourite saying; 'A big madness will give way to a bigger madness'.

By the time I swung into action with my tiny sized cane, belt and cloth hanger. That spirit of 'stubborness' left her. Now, she's as well behaved as I had expected. Yes, it doesn't mean I don't pamper or play with her. As a matter of fact, she plays with me more than her mum. If I return late from work, my child won't sleep. She'll be shouting 'My daddy'.


In summary, I have always been in favour of using the rod to correct a child and to use some form of punishment as a disciplinary measure. If not for how my parents disciplined me, God knows what I might have become today....

bizme:
Allow me to disagree with you on this. If we are to look at it objectively the oyibos have much better society using both economic and morality parameters to judge. So if we copy the good aspects of their life, it wouldn't be a bad idea at all.

Secondly, I don't think immorality is increasing everyday in our society like you have put it. Instead the ready access to the internet makes it easy for us to learn about things we wouldn't otherwise have known. Neither do I believe that this generation is worse than the previous. Our fathers and mothers and people before them were part of equally immoral generation, they simply like to be hypocritical when talking about the younger generation. Just like many of us might also feel like telling our kids that their generation is unnecessarily permissive morally speaking. It is all a lie. Our parents did their own kind of atrocities in their time, they were not saints.

Back to the oyibos, without flogging kids they somehow manage to produce more empathic and more human human beings that build the society. We continue to lay claim on a higher morality in our society yet we keep churning out terrorists, yahoo-yahoo, and corrupt individuals year in year out. It isn't a bad idea to copy their style of raising up kids.

Oyinbo obviously do better economically, buy they are more immoral my friend. They have even gone further in many instances to set up institutions and laws to protect their immoral lifestyles

hustla:


Yes it does

Or else pikin for dey talk 'f*ck you' for in mama for where all man dey

Seems you don't know how these oyinbo children behave

Even here in Nigeria, I have seen a kid that calls the mom abusive names and beats her while nagging whenever he can't have his way and the mom laughs over it claiming she does that b/c he is still a kid and as such will correct himself when he grows.If the cautions him,he talks back.No respect

bizme:
Allow me to disagree with you on this. If we are to look at it objectively the oyibos have much better society using both economic and morality parameters to judge. So if we copy the good aspects of their life, it wouldn't be a bad idea at all.

Secondly, I don't think immorality is increasing everyday in our society like you have put it. Instead the ready access to the internet makes it easy for us to learn about things we wouldn't otherwise have known. Neither do I believe that this generation is worse than the previous. Our fathers and mothers and people before them were part of equally immoral generation, they simply like to be hypocritical when talking about the younger generation. Just like many of us might also feel like telling our kids that their generation is unnecessarily permissive morally speaking. It is all a lie. Our parents did their own kind of atrocities in their time, they were not saints.

Back to the oyibos, without flogging kids they somehow manage to produce more empathic and more human human beings that build the society. We continue to lay claim on a higher morality in our society yet we keep churning out terrorists, yahoo-yahoo, and corrupt individuals year in year out. It isn't a bad idea to copy their style of raising up kids.

Oyinbos are obviously doing better economically, but they are more immoral my friend. They have even set up institutions and laws to protect their immoral lifestyles

Ishilove:
Yes, but there should be a limit. I was thoroughly flogged while growing up but I turned out very well. There is a thin line between discipline and abuse and many parents cross the line without knowing.

Know when to use the cane and when to use your mouth

Well said, beating a child because you are angry is different from beating a child to cut short the reward system of him going on that act again. But the line is quite thin sometimes.

J111333:
Spare the rod spoil the child is no longer for today's world especially since we began copying oyibos. I'm sure we can all see the impact in our society today where ordinary high school kids engage in immorality everyday and no one can whoop their asses without child rights folks calling for people's heads.

Yea, I may be against beating kids but I will support a few spanking in certain scenarios especially when it is solely used as corrective measure.

I can count how many times my dad whooped my ass because he rarely did and I felt bad at that time about the spankings but now, I'm glad he did. My mum's frequent slaps also helped to curb my naughtiness.

.
Mhad mhad

Great

Thisismjay:
.
Mhad mhad

thinkmoney:

Oyinbos are obviously doing better economically, but they are more immoral my friend. They have even set up institutions and laws to protect their immoral lifestyles

You lied, when we say immoral, we are talking about stealing public funds, killing on political elections, evading justice system and handing guns to youth to shoot anyone on your way.

This dark men ruling our country where are children of some people that thought the discipline them. If all family trained their children morally well enough then it will show case in the society. Nigeria society is very dirty and even for a child.

matm:


Even here in Nigeria, I have seen a kid that calls the mom abusive names and beats her while nagging whenever he can't have his way and the mom laughs over it claiming she does that b/c he is still a kid and as such will correct himself when he grows.If the cautions him,he talks back.No respect

It is called permissive parenting. When parent do not take the parent figure in life of a child.

kazyhm:



Nonsense. How can you equate correctional spanking to bully and still add submission to it ?

No single thing /approach on earth that does not have it advantages and disadvantages. Beat and talk as and when necessary.

Have you ever wonder how some grown up ass ended up with empty brain, no discipline, no knowledge of anything worth emulating, no moral, no values.....they follows anything sheepishly.

How many spoilt brats that ended up wasting every resources invested on them.....let me stop here....

I think its unwise to compare and contrast on issue like this.........because there seem to be some influences beyond our grasp that direct each and individual paths in life....flooding or not.

Some folks without parent figure sometimes ended up better that those that were train; some with iron hands and other with soft hand.....but all in all I apply talks and beating as and when necessary.

African, especially Nigerians are becoming brain dead by the day....many people nowadays subject everything to how they feel about it without any factual reason.....and I think to a large extent sadly, we makes Summersaulting policies that will not move us forward in any particular direction.


Same way females has started engaging in some fruitless arguments in favour of abolishing house chores; feeling it is enslaving their gender but no one is drawing their attention to the fact that males does more chores.......

Nigeria is the most morally bereft countries on this earth

psyco:
Any data to prove your claims?

Do you not have Google? Which countries have the highest HDI and GDP per capita? Which countries are the happiest in the world?

klap4gbens:
You're yet to get a single like until now, that should tell you the impression your message has made.

Silly adult...

that is their own cup of tea.Upon all the beating what moral good has the society shown for it.The surging crime rate ahbii is it our politicians that were not disciplined with the rod.That method is clearly not working.

No beating for me..There are other effective measures to instill discipline.

stanliwise:

You lied, when we say immoral, we are talking about stealing public funds, killing on political elections, evading justice system and handing guns to youth to shoot anyone on your way.

This dark men ruling our country where are children of some people that thought the discipline them. If all family trained their children morally well enough then it will show case in the society. Nigeria society is very dirty and even for a child.

Well, I admit in 'that immoral', we are worse off.
But u can't really blame all those on the type of discipline we had or didn't. Many of our woes are caused by this oyinbos; forcing dissimilar people together causes unhealthy competition and they have so bastardized our psych by not only colonizing us but also stealing over many centuries our wealth and men. We feel so inferior now and result to preying on each other.
All this things are psychological

bizme:

I have my little children, and it is not difficult to talk things over with them, and even set up disciplinary measures that don't involve beating.

Please can you highlight this alternative disciplinary measures?

May your wisdom increase.
I chuckle whenever I read some crediting our Nigerian society with a better morality than the developed countries. The average Nigerian is corrupt, aggressive, nonchalant, and promiscuous. I have lived in different countries and I can relate with these. How about we start connecting the dots if these social vices in the country are not indeed connected with the way we bring children up in this country. I think we already know the answer.

kingxsamz:
Lol, and one would wonder why most Nigerians are aggressive in nature. Always quick to resort to violence. What'd you expect when you flogged a child into thinking that the only way to make something right or make correction is through violence and beating?
Most of us were flogged during childhood, but in what way has such method of discipline impacted our society collectively?
They'll say "spare the rod and spoil the child", yet we're being governed and ruled by criminals. The average Nigerian is corrupt...

Amen!!!!

SpartanJ:


Valid point.

It scares the hell out of me too.

I have 9, 7 and 2 years old kids at home.

I need to get close to make the right impression before they clock 12.

May God help me. Amen

No, I am not destroying my children. The two of them are some of the most behaved and kind kids you will find around. More importantly they are very free with and close to me. My mother-in-law called me yesterday to commend the upbringing of my son, after she observed his attitude and smartness...very high for his age. When I was his age I had already learned how to be scared of my own parents.

So, I believe my wife and I are doing something right. Our goal is to raise kind, focused and disciplined human beings.

The word discipline doesn't mean beating by the way.

Logan23:


U are destroying ur children...especially the ones that need higher discipline than d other