pls kindly advise me on this issue cos am confused and simply dont know what to do.i have a guy who i have been dating for over 3yers now.i love him so much and i think he loves me too.this guy could be so loving and caring but i have a lot of isues with this guy and he seems lik he is not ready for a change.when we talk about pride,dis my boyfriend he so proud(maybe becos he is comfortable),extremely possesive,gets angry easily even over lil isues,and when angry he uses abusive words on me like stupid,crazy,mad and often times delete me from his blackberry contacts.this has been goin on for over 3years now.although he is the one always coming back to me after the quarels,but he wouldnt be the first to apologise because of his pride.he once told me that am the best woman for him .wuldnt know maybe its because he knows i dont reply him anytime he uses abusive words on me,all, i try to do is calm him down and beg him often even when am not wrong.he did the same yesterday,but i culdnt hold my patience anymore,i had to reply that he is crazy as well.i cant cope with his anger anymore ,i know he wuld stil find a way into my life again,should i accept him back tinking he would change with time or just let him go although it could hurt.need your advice pls

Dont call him or apologise if he did not call u and aplogise

!

He will never change! That's what he is; he will get worse after marriage!
The ball is now in your court whether you can spend the remaining days of your life with someone who has a loose mouth or not.
Foluks, has he ever smack you?

OP, be yourself and stop pretending. He told you that you are the best for him because you have been pretending all these while that you are cool with his insults.

STOP PRETENDING! Tell him that you are not cool with his personality, and spare your self from future abuse.

If he will change, it will only be if he wants it himself. You can not change him.
Have you tried to sit down and tell him how this makes you feel? And if so; does he then get angry as well, or does he see his own faults?

The guy won't change.

Mynd_44: The guy won't change.

Of course people can change.
I was mean when I got angry just 2,5 years ago. I realised I needed to change, and I did. But, it took a damn lot of work, and still I sometimes get f-ckin rude at times..

he has never laid his hands on me.have also tried sitting him down and do some lil counselling,he feels guilty about it and knws that he gets does it,but he cant just control it,its like a demon in him dat hAS control over him

But is he ready to change? Ask yourself that. Do you see him chanting?

Mynd_
44:
But is he ready to change? Ask yourself that. Do you see him chanting?

dnt tink he is ready

if he show up again, sit him down tell him how u feel about his ''vulgar'' words towards u, nd also tell him dat u r giving him d LAST CHANCE. Then if he do as he always does, then take a WALK nd never luk back. Although it myt hurt. And don't ever regret u take a walk.

JallowBah:

Of course people can change.
I was mean when I got angry just 2,5 years ago. I realised I needed to change, and I did. But, it took a damn lot of work, and still I sometimes get f-ckin rude at times..

People hardly change. They mostly pretend to be a changed person.

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Vikin: OP, be yourself and stop pretending. He told you that you are the best for him because you have been pretending all these while that you are cool with his insults.

STOP PRETENDING! Tell him that you are not cool with his personality, and spare your self from future abuse.

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Mynd_44: The guy won't change.

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kilimanjaro:
People hardly change. They mostly pretend to be a changed person.

foluks24:
dnt tink he is ready

Then you need to leave him and move on with your life

@ OP
For those of us who believe, When people pray to God for partners, how do they know their prayers are answered?

Can two be together except they agree?

Don't stay in a relationship because he is caring and showers you with gifts when he can become irritable the next minute.

Any relationship without happiness is not worth having. If your partner is your kindred spirit, you will disagree less often.

Wow it took you 3 years to talk back and tell him he's mad?

Damn you must be an Angel,good luck with him.

i've come to realised dt for a relp to last,if one partna is a goat,d oda must b a lamb,or fire,d oda must b water/xtingsher.dis has seem 2b a sort of divine arragt.so if it has taken u 3yrs(wc FREECOCOA seems can't) to reply him,then he might b d choosen one 4u, pls help him-it seems he cant elp it,it cud his upbringn or envirmnt wea he grew up,u cud b his mother.
from ur post u didn't point at any oda shortcomins xcept dis,find a way to elp him.
BUT,he has to mak d 1st move @ endin d quarrel.cheers

Adeniyi A.:
i've come to realised dt for a relp to last,if one partna is a goat,d oda must b a lamb,or fire,d oda must b water/xtingsher.dis has seem 2b a sort of divine arragt.so if it has taken u 3yrs(wc FREECOCOA seems can't) to reply him,then he might b d choosen one 4u, pls help him-it seems he cant elp it,it cud his upbringn or envirmnt wea he grew up,u cud b his mother.
from ur post u didn't point at any oda shortcomins xcept dis,find a way to elp him.
BUT,he has to mak d 1st move @ endin d quarrel.cheers

tanks dear,i realy do love dis guy and wuldnt wana leave him,but am sacred because he may end up beating me if we get married.he wuldnt just let me go,av tried breaking up wt him once but he said am joking,he said he wuldnt love anyoda woman if he doesnt marry me.he knws am nt after his money or wealth.or culd it be because he is much older dan me with 15yrs,cos i feel bullied anytim he uses harsh words on me lik he is talkin to a slave or an infant

Well, if he dont say he wants to change, he is not going to change either.

foluks24:
tanks dear,i realy do love dis guy and wuldnt wana leave him,but am sacred because he may end up beating me if we get married.he wuldnt just let me go,av tried breaking up wt him once but he said am joking,he said he wuldnt love anyoda woman if he doesnt marry me.he knws am nt after his money or wealth.or culd it be because he is much older dan me with 15yrs,cos i feel bullied anytim he uses harsh words on me lik he is talkin to a slave or an infant

Babe, 15 years is damn too much.
I guess you should be in your 20s and he should be close to or above 40. If he still indulges in such errant behaviours when will he get it right?

u actually love the sugarin fact addicted to the sugar not him,check yourself.