The gentle breeze the playful drizzle hearts palpating. He fills my mouth with his name, his breathe, his kisses and when he fills me he’s hotter than hades. He’s next to me my ‘customs beau’ for long years. I am lost in the ecstasy of this being.

Seconds ago I felt empty, dark; worn, faded like my blue denim hung on the clothe-line his beatitude dries like the love hate they say lies in a fine line.

He has been a beautiful heart and has been my only family since I was 19. Our friendship as solid as diamonds, he embraces my several dark parts but somehow conveniently remains an option. Why are you an option? I really don’t get my emotions they are a midlife crises, I really don’t get my emotions they are MEN-opausal.

But Deux what about loyalty?

He's my 1st and I put him 1st he’s probably my best. He’s adorned in my heart like a crest and crowned unlike the rest, but somehow I’m still searching for something, we are both searching and I always pray he doesn't find it 1st. We've history, a long one, a bitter-sweet one but with him I'm like the only woman in the world. 2 years ago I had a pregnancy scare. He knew he wasn’t the father still he held my hands while the doctor counseled. I’m in tears; I lose control of my feet and I'm reduced to both knees.

Later at home, after the tears, I felt something leave him, and got consumed with fear. We grew somewhat distant but we always meet at some point again.

It rains on my palms like fallen crystals he sing to me with words that rhyme but it is there like teenage mood swings, when will it die?

Yet am scared to let go, it slaps me out of my fantasies and then abuses my reality. Yet he’s loved me plain like a song from the rhythm of my tongue.

I watch him fade into the hollows, he drives away and the dust follows. Now my heart is covered in thorns I would miss him but not for long.


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