I've been looking online and found this site. At first I learned a lot from the different forums, but eventually found myself to be really disturbed by the amount of animosity between Nigerian Women and pretty much all foreign women, especially Jamaican and African American women. Now I'm not American, but I know that the women down there have a problem when their men date any other race but black. Is this the same thing?

A little about me, Half-Jamaican, Half-Indian all Canadian woman, intelligent, college educated, God-fearing, hard-working, family oriented person. But, according to some threads, if I were to date or marry a Nigerian man, he must be trying to get something out of me, or my father didn't love me enough for me to search for a man from my own country/culture.

I think that makes no sense whatsoever!!! We are all first of all BLACK WOMEN, meaning that we are the least respected group in the world, if not, one of the bottom 5 after Muslim Arab Males. (not to insult Muslim Arab Males) WE need to be encouraging each other to better ourselves, to help our families to succeed and not be considered a bane to world society in general.

Now, I'm not saying there aren't cultural differences between our African, American, or even Caribbean sisters, but I guarantee there are strong similarities in all. Yes, we need to protect and transmit our cultural traditions to our children lest they forget, but that doesn't mean that we cannot embrace another one too!

I personally find such a fondness towards Nigerian culture in general because it is so similar to mine. I'm Jamaican, which means I'm outspoken, family oriented( by the way, Jamaican families are fiercely loyal, very traditional and have extremely close bonds even with general relatives), and I love a great party. I'm Indian, which means that I possess a certain intelligence and logic, I am a humble, submissive wife in waiting (I kid you not!) and again I love love love a great party. Finally, I am Canadian, which means that I have the opportunities to meet different cultures(my closest friends are Russian, Jamaican/Portuguese/Jewish, Ethiopian, Sri Lankan and Italian), I value education (especially since its free) and we love a great party (on occasion).

All this to say Nigerian women, sometimes your male counterparts come to my country and meet girls like me, that doesn't mean that I opened up my legs to him, or that I don't nag him, or even that I'm a hopeless romantic. It means that he saw in me, the very thing he sees in his african queens, and maybe something more!

Viva

excuse me, you have a wrong notion. WE Africans are not black. WE ARE DARK-BROWN & many are light brown. IT IS YOU who call yourself as Black and so are black. WE are AFRICANS.

I'm Indian, which means that I possess a certain intelligence and logic

as opposed to blacks, who are d.umb monkeys not?

PAGAN 9JA:
excuse me, you have a wrong notion. WE Africans are not black. WE ARE DARK-BROWN & many are light brown. IT IS YOU who call yourself as Black and so are black. WE are AFRICANS.

Actually I know that Africans aren't "black", my children's daycare provider is African, yes she's Algerian, I dated an Egyptian, and a South African, I've met people from Cameroon, Morocco, Rwanda, RDC, Nigeria, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Somalia, Senegal, Ghana and they all came in different colours, all of them in my hometown. Ok well you obviously didn't understand me, I'm medium brown skinned bc of the fact I'm the very definition of a multicultural person...I identify myself as black because my skin goes from very light brown in the winter to wonderfully golden brown in the summer, I'm very proud of my beautiful BLACK skin. I've got Irish ancestry thrown in there too but it doesn't make me European...I am CANADIAN, if you read my post carefully, do your research its is one of the most diverse countries. Born and raised in Montreal, which communities boast some of the most culturally diverse populations in the WORLD. My little street alone has neighbors who are Mexican, Italian, Russian, European-Caucasian, Maghreb, Northern Indian a few Asians not to mention Caribbean, and we're all CANADIAN!!!

tpia@:


as opposed to blacks, who are d.umb monkeys not?

Very silly comment indeed, I'm not saying blacks are inferior, but I am alluding to the history of certain things in my lineage that I'm proud as heck for, we invented the number 0, amongst other things, My father is black so I wouldn't disrespect him (double-masters math/music) by saying that blacks are dumb...smh

vivalableue: I've been looking online and found this site. At first I learned a lot from the different forums, but eventually found myself to be really disturbed by the amount of animosity between Nigerian Women and pretty much all foreign women, especially Jamaican and African American women. Now I'm not American, but I know that the women down there have a problem when their men date any other race but black. Is this the same thing?

A little about me, Half-Jamaican, Half-Indian all Canadian woman, intelligent, college educated, God-fearing, hard-working, family oriented person. But, according to some threads, if I were to date or marry a Nigerian man, he must be trying to get something out of me, or my father didn't love me enough for me to search for a man from my own country/culture.

I think that makes no sense whatsoever!!! We are all first of all BLACK WOMEN, meaning that we are the least respected group in the world, if not, one of the bottom 5 after Muslim Arab Males. (not to insult Muslim Arab Males) WE need to be encouraging each other to better ourselves, to help our families to succeed and not be considered a bane to world society in general.

Now, I'm not saying there aren't cultural differences between our African, American, or even Caribbean sisters, but I guarantee there are strong similarities in all. Yes, we need to protect and transmit our cultural traditions to our children lest they forget, but that doesn't mean that we cannot embrace another one too!

I personally find such a fondness towards Nigerian culture in general because it is so similar to mine. I'm Jamaican, which means I'm outspoken, family oriented( by the way, Jamaican families are fiercely loyal, very traditional and have extremely close bonds even with general relatives), and I love a great party. I'm Indian, which means that I possess a certain intelligence and logic, I am a humble, submissive wife in waiting (I kid you not!) and again I love love love a great party. Finally, I am Canadian, which means that I have the opportunities to meet different cultures(my closest friends are Russian, Jamaican/Portuguese/Jewish, Ethiopian, Sri Lankan and Italian), I value education (especially since its free) and we love a great party (on occasion).

All this to say Nigerian women, sometimes your male counterparts come to my country and meet girls like me, that doesn't mean that I opened up my legs to him, or that I don't nag him, or even that I'm a hopeless romantic. It means that he saw in me, the very thing he sees in his african queens, and maybe something more!

Viva

You do know this is a site that was designed by a Nigerian male for Nigerians and Friends right? So how did you concluded that the chatters on this site are mostly Jamo and Black American women bashing Carrib women?

There are a handful of non-Nigerian women on this site and none of them based Carrib women.

@Mrs.Chima , my observation came from several threads where the impression I got was that the perception of non-Nigerian women were somewhat inferior and non-compatible to be romantically involved with Nigerian men. Now, I certainly did assume that most posters were Naija, but others identified themselves as carib-descent, or AA and white, etc. I'm just saying that the stereotype should be rethinked or erraticated.

vivalableue: @Mrs.Chima , my observation came from several threads where the impression I got was that the perception of non-Nigerian women were somewhat inferior and non-compatible to be romantically involved with Nigerian men. Now, I certainly did assume that most posters were Naija, but others identified themselves as carib-descent, or AA and white, etc. I'm just saying that the stereotype should be rethinked or erraticated.

I refuse to believe women that have identified themselves as Carrib insulted themselves that doesn't sound logical nor rational.

But whatever.

I think you are not understanding the point that I'm making, Caribbean women are NOT insulting themselves, and quite frankly we are too proud to ever talk down about ourselves in a non-caribbean forum. I'm saying that [/b]NIGERIAN[b] women are the ones who are saying that we're beneath them or just good for one thing...and I want to say that this way of going at each others throats is dead wrong!

vivalableue: I think you are not understanding the point that I'm making, Caribbean women are NOT insulting themselves, and quite frankly we are too proud to ever talk down about ourselves in a non-caribbean forum. I'm saying that [/b]NIGERIAN[b] women are the ones who are saying that we're beneath them or just good for one thing...and I want to say that this way of going at each others throats is dead wrong!

Well...too bad that you thought I was going at your throat...I am only responding off what you wrote.

Good thing that you have cleared up your own writing.

@Mrs.Chima

Trust me, I don't think your going at my throat at all, because you're not insulting me for my opinion or for who I am. A little debate is the seed for a greater dialogue.
There is so much our cultures that are the same that we truly forget that its those small differences that come between true unity.

For example, the moment I step into a room, I say good morning or evening and greet any elders in the place. I teach my children to do the same, call Adults sir, ma'am (well actually Monsieur and Madame since I live in a french speaking province", older relatives are Aunties and Uncles, and please and thank you's are a must.

The people that live in my city, with the exception of African and Caribbean communities and few others(like Indian), don't do this. Some people even ask me why I make my kids learn these manners. It's a matter of respect and decorum, something that means that we appreciate culture and families.

When I see my grandparents or even my mothers, I greet them, Namaste pay my respects, and touch their feet, because their feet had to work to get me to my present state.

I know my African Bros and Sisters may not do the exact same thing, but c'mon we do have that in common...

Mrs.Chima:


You do know this is a site that was designed by a Nigerian male for Nigerians and Friends right? So how did you concluded that the chatters on this site are mostly Jamo and Black American women bashing Carrib women?

There are a handful of non-Nigerian women on this site and none of them based Carrib women.

I tire oo, I don't get it either. the OP is in the wrong forum

No one understands what I'm trying to say...Almightus to the Rock of AGES! what kind of sense would it make to say that I am bashing my own kind? Check out this thread, its old but there are a few like this one I see.

https://www.nairaland.com/18438/why-nigerian-men-attracted-carribbean

Not saying that the posters are horrible people, or that they don't have a point in certain regards, but in general stereotypes are being made. Straight up

vivalableue: No one understands what I'm trying to say...Almightus to the Rock of AGES! what kind of sense would it make to say that I am bashing my own kind? Check out this thread, its old but there are a few like this one I see.

https://www.nairaland.com/18438/why-nigerian-men-attracted-carribbean

Not saying that the posters are horrible people, or that they don't have a point in certain regards, but in general stereotypes are being made. Straight up

That is just one thread but your thread you started talks as if Nigerians talk about Caribbean women and bashing them 24/7, and the person who started that thread is Caribbean, so that should tell you something. So I don't agree with your thread title or some stereotypes in general in that thread link

suyu:

I tire oo, I don't get it either. the OP is in the wrong forum

For a minute....I thought I was the only one who saw it. Whew. Thanks!

vivalableue: No one understands what I'm trying to say...Almightus to the Rock of AGES! what kind of sense would it make to say that I am bashing my own kind? Check out this thread, its old but there are a few like this one I see.

https://www.nairaland.com/18438/why-nigerian-men-attracted-carribbean

Not saying that the posters are horrible people, or that they don't have a point in certain regards, but in general stereotypes are being made. Straight up

I get your point and the original poster didn't intend for the post to be a bashing thread. She appeared to want to hear opinions of Carrib women dating African men.

Some people just felt the need to turn the thread into a battle thread....pathetic if you ask me.

Mrs.Chima:


For a minute....I thought I was the only one who saw it. Whew. Thanks!

you welcome

I dont hate Caribbean women. I dont think Seun intended his sand-box to be the exclusive preserve of nigerians, either.

I luv Jamaica! I dont wanna live there but that dont mean i dont love it. What's that Eric Donaldson oldie again? I say this is the land of my birth, parapa-rapa, i say this is Jamaica myyy Jamaica, the land of my birth... Wonderful song. Bob Marley, Culture, Beenie Man, Damien Marley, Gyptian (he's something of a doofus sha ), and ma main man Busy Signal, dayum! how can't i luv Jamaica!

I have some reservations about Indians though; i've met a couple - work-related ish - and they all seem to be only interested in how much they can make off my black a$$... But hey, that's what lotsa people say about igbos too. And i'm igbo.

Oh, and to all y'all forming "i'm african, not black" and "light-skinned" and all that hogwash, you better get real. I'm guessing you folks just have a problem with the word 'black'... 'African' sounds nicer, shebi? Very funny. As for me, i'm a FULL-BLOODED, BLACK, NIGERIAN MALE, born of MOTHER AFRICA, and i'm f!!cking proud of it! Yes boss!!

(playing the violin off key)

@Viva, how could u be so articulate, intelligent and beautiful all at d same time? Waow!

vivalableue: I've been looking online and found this site. At first I learned a lot from the different forums, but eventually found myself to be really disturbed by the amount of animosity between Nigerian Women and pretty much all foreign women, especially Jamaican and African American women. Now I'm not American, but I know that the women down there have a problem when their men date any other race but black. Is this the same thing?

A little about me, Half-Jamaican, Half-Indian all Canadian woman, intelligent, college educated, God-fearing, hard-working, family oriented person. But, according to some threads, if I were to date or marry a Nigerian man, he must be trying to get something out of me, or my father didn't love me enough for me to search for a man from my own country/culture.

I think that makes no sense whatsoever!!! We are all first of all BLACK WOMEN, meaning that we are the least respected group in the world, if not, one of the bottom 5 after Muslim Arab Males. (not to insult Muslim Arab Males) WE need to be encouraging each other to better ourselves, to help our families to succeed and not be considered a bane to world society in general.

Now, I'm not saying there aren't cultural differences between our African, American, or even Caribbean sisters, but I guarantee there are strong similarities in all. Yes, we need to protect and transmit our cultural traditions to our children lest they forget, but that doesn't mean that we cannot embrace another one too!

I personally find such a fondness towards Nigerian culture in general because it is so similar to mine. I'm Jamaican, which means I'm outspoken, family oriented( by the way, Jamaican families are fiercely loyal, very traditional and have extremely close bonds even with general relatives), and I love a great party. I'm Indian, which means that I possess a certain intelligence and logic, I am a humble, submissive wife in waiting (I kid you not!) and again I love love love a great party. Finally, I am Canadian, which means that I have the opportunities to meet different cultures(my closest friends are Russian, Jamaican/Portuguese/Jewish, Ethiopian, Sri Lankan and Italian), I value education (especially since its free) and we love a great party (on occasion).

All this to say Nigerian women, sometimes your male counterparts come to my country and meet girls like me, that doesn't mean that I opened up my legs to him, or that I don't nag him, or even that I'm a hopeless romantic. It means that he saw in me, the very thing he sees in his african queens, and maybe something more!

Viva

I can see where you are coming from, however that "something more" comment contradicts your entire post. Why does it have to be something more. If he sees in you want he wants that is asweome period. Let's go with what you said, which is not to compare, contrast or compete. I agree with most of your post though. The last line didn't sit well with me.