Why will you have reservations about the catholic church and even consider dating a catholic? Why will you go even further to marry this same person? Did you marry her out of pity? Because you keep talking about her age? Why are you keepong secrets about your suspicion of infidelity? Are you keeping it ti justify a divorce? Why are you looking for converts into your church? Does your church need people? Have you ever even gotten to know your wife's church, or are the reservations about the church based on regular rumour and gossip? You seem to think you did her a favour marrying her in the catholic church. Don't you know that as a christian you MARRY in your WIFE's CHURCH?

bournvita: LMAO@ the word downlow. Is that what you have been doing on sagamite, dayo? whilst at the same time prophesing your undying live for armyofone on this forum?

I am as straight as they come. I only do coochies. Ask armyofone

The Anglican church is not the only route to heaven,please do not misunderstand me. That I have reservations about a particular sect does not mean that it is not a route to heaven.I strongly believe that for the spiritual growth of a family - couple and children, they should attend the same church. Their are reasons for being a muslim or for being an Amorc member etc. Everybody's spiritual conviction should not be the same. The main issue is how do avoid divorce not why most my wife attend the same church with me or a critique on the catholic-anglican church relationship. I can even worship in any other penticostal church as a member but not in a catholic church

8ogoegbunam: Religious belief is a major factor in marriage. If I had known that she will turn out this way, I would not have married her

so ur marriage is based on sth, right? Assuming she stop going to church at all. Will u still continue with the marriage?.

Kobojunkie:

Not according to the Bible though!

You don't know much about the Bible; you just think you do.

Elders in the Church have the authority to annul a marriage based on outright deceit. Example, a woman that has no womb but kept this from the man. Example: a guy that has no stable job but deceived the girl into thinking he works at a bank. A guy who pretended to a woman he had an apartment of his own only for the woman to discover he only borrowed from a friend to deceive and now he tells her they will live in his parent's house and there is nothing she can do about. They have even been guys who are muslims or some other occultic religion, but because they want a good woman and they really dig her person, they lead her to believe they completely converted to christ by following her to church frequently with a faked ethusiasm. Then immediately after marriage, he shows his colour, beleiving there is nothing the woman can do since the christian God ahtes divorce. Nonsense! God didn't say that so that every good con men or women can trap his children into a nightmarish marriage.

Even because of recent happening, some churches are delibrating on anulling marriages in which the man it is clear that the man is an un-repentant wife beater, and the beating had gotten to the point the woman's life is now in danger.

Churches do annul such marriages every now and then. Stop saying what you don't know about.

And what the elders annul stands annuls before God; unless God does not reckon with the church.

crackhouse: so ur marriage is based on sth, right? Assuming she stop going to church at all. Will u still continue with the marriage?.

Pls do reason correctly, man. This is not something that crops up later during the marriage. This is a major issue, major to both parties, that discussed exhaust-ively and she assured of defer to him and support. Immediately after marriage she does a 360 turn-around and says "You know what men, guy what I told I will do, just forget about because it aint gonna happen.

8ogoegbunam: Thanks all for your advice. I married her in the catholic church due to her plea to me that we should please her parents who are staunch catholics. My grouse is that she lied to me that she will change her sect once we are married.I am a very spiritual person, I have my reservation about the catholic church. I respect all christians and muslims. Everyone have a right to belong to any faith. I believe that the spiritual atmosphere of my home have been poisoned. I have dreams and precepts that guide my life and marriage. I even gave her the choice to pick any of the numerous pentecostal churches were both of us can attend as a couple. Yet she insisted on cathlic church or nothing.am not a sect fanatic, but I believe a couple and kids should attend same sect.

pls what's ur reservations about catholic church? Let us know so that the catholic members will clearify u on it if it there is need to, instead holding grudges against a denomination. I have a catholic friend that married an Anglican but the guy doesn't bother which one her wife attends. Infact the wife attends Anglican most of the times with their two kids and the guy have not said a word abt that before. If there's anything u think against the church just say it b/cos it will us to advice u well. Thanks

lanre_front:

You don't know much about the Bible; you just think you do.

Elders in the Church have the authority to annul a marriage based on outright deceit. Example, a woman that has no womb but kept this from the man. Example: a guy that has no stable job but deceived the girl into thinking he works at a bank. A guy who pretended to a woman he had an apartment of his own only for the woman to discover he only borrowed from a friend to deceive and now he tells her they will live in his parent's house and there is nothing she can do about. They have even been guys who are muslims or some other occultic religion, but because they want a good woman and they really dig her person, they lead her to believe they completely converted to christ by following her to church frequently with a faked ethusiasm. Then immediately after marriage, he shows his colour, beleiving there is nothing the woman can do since the christian God ahtes divorce. Nonsense! God didn't say that so that every good con men or women can trap his children into a nightmarish marriage.

Even because of recent happening, some churches are delibrating on anulling marriages in which the man it is clear that the man is an un-repentant wife beater, and the beating had gotten to the point the woman's life is now in danger.

Churches do annul such marriages every now and then. Stop saying what you don't know about.

And what the elders annul stands annuls before God; unless God does not reckon with the church.

That's why I asked the questions I asked, because if he wasn't informed about her promise and declaration (it is hard for me to believe he wasn't informed) then it means they did not get married. The conditions I mentioned must be fulfilled before their marriage is valid. Marriages that are not properly contracted can be annulled.


However, the more important issue is that I do not believe that the OP loves his wife. It appears to me that he got married for the sake of getting married. If he truly loves his wife this wouldn't have been such a big issue.

lanre_front:

You don't know much about the Bible; you just think you do.

Elders in the Church have the authority to annul a marriage based on outright deceit. Example, a woman that has no womb but kept this from the man. Example: a guy that has no stable job but deceived the girl into thinking he works at a bank. A guy who pretended to a woman he had an apartment of his own only for the woman to discover he only borrowed from a friend to deceive and now he tells her they will live in his parent's house and there is nothing she can do about. They have even been guys who are muslims or some other occultic religion, but because they want a good woman and they really dig her person, they lead her to believe they completely converted to christ by following her to church frequently with a faked ethusiasm. Then immediately after marriage, he shows his colour, beleiving there is nothing the woman can do since the christian God ahtes divorce. Nonsense! God didn't say that so that every good con men or women can trap his children into a nightmarish marriage.

Even because of recent happening, some churches are delibrating on anulling marriages in which the man it is clear that the man is an un-repentant wife beater, and the beating had gotten to the point the woman's life is now in danger.

Churches do annul such marriages every now and then. Stop saying what you don't know about.

And what the elders annul stands annuls before God; unless God does not reckon with the church.

Instead of remaining ignorant, pick up a Bible and READ . . IGNORANCE is not bliss especially when you have access to the very same source of information on Christianity,and the God of Christianity, that your so called "elders" have. It is stupid to put your salvation in the hands of other humans.

Jesus never built you a church or told you that marriages can be annulled by elders. Nor did his disciples say of that. A marriage agreement, whether it happens in a church building, in a night club, or on the beach somewhere is not between you and a church but between you and God. So please pick up a copy of that book called the Bible, and read it . . . read it for yourself so you can know fact from fiction. It is so sad that even the educated in a country that boast of being one of the most religious nations on the planet, cannot even read the Bible to know truth of a religion they claim to live.

dayokanu:

Down low is when a supposed straight guy is also doing men without the wife knowing.

Dnt you think surprises in se-xual orientation is enough to get a divorce

Like I said before, in many cases, the partners are already aware of the sexu-al orientation. In a case that they don't and the woman or man commits adultery, then it is grounds for divorce.

lanre_front:

From the guy's post, it is fairly clear why he included her age: to show that this a matured woman doing her act and not a silly girl throwing tantrums.

And it did help in people analaysing the situation, hence some already said a woman a her age is already set in her ways and will hardly change; that she came with a script which she is acting out and her mind is made up. Which is true.

So stop infering meaning of your own that isn't present.

And what the lady did is not "having a mind of her own", it is being a liar and deceitful on a major issue which the guy considered very important concerning the kind of family he had in mind. The lady in question told him YES, no problem, only. Do to do a 360 on him immediately after marriage.

"Set in her ways"??! Errr. . .can you prove that a younger woman won't be set in her ways. . .especially when it comes to religion??

I tell ya, it must be so nice to be of the special set of species whose God given right it is to make the rules as they go along and expect others to fall in line. Y'all are the same set of people who say an "older woman" so desperate for marriage will do anything. . .be anything a guys wants her to be, making her ineligible for marriage. Now you turn around and advice OP that because she is older thus set in her ways and she should be dumped. A person could go cray cray craaaaazy trying to keep track of which side your wind blows at any given time.

Is that your definition of "having a mind of your own? He did not force him to marry him, did she? She should have declined and the guy will go ahead and find someone else.

I'm gonna assume you meant she did not force him to marry her. . .then in that case, I say EXACTLY!! She didn't force him to marry her. . .he met her as a Cathoilic, He courted as a Catholic and He married her as a Catholic and we are suddenly supposed to throw him a pity party because he thinks he was bamboozled? Are you freaking kidding me??

Lemme ask you this. . .You have a child who is allergic to say. . .shellfish. One day your child goes to the store and sees a snack which has as its main ingredient Shellfish. He picks up that particular snack despite the fact that there are other snacks without shellfish in them. On the package is a warning that says - MIGHT CAUSE SERIOUS ALLERGIC REACTION IN PERSONS ALLERGIC TO SHELLFISH, your child. . .that you sent to school and are proud of his ability to reason, buys this snack banking on the MIGHT in the warning to be on the positive side for him. He gets really comfortable (sweet snack like that should not be eaten anyhow) and chows down. 20 mins later, he runs to you with his face swollen, his tongue hanging out of his mouth and his eyes about to disappear into its socket. . .do you blame the snack??!!

Sorry to take it down to the very basic but sometimes it seems that's where we have to go to get some common sense here. Look I am not saying the guy shouldn't divorce his wife (that's between him and his God. . .which if you think about it, is ironic. He is worried about his relationship with God and he chooses to rectify it by divorcing his wife but you know what. . . that is truly a story for another day and perhaps another section) My issue here is with him trying to blame her. . . like she made any bones about who she was. What makes you think someone who was so rigid about her religious beliefs during courtship will turn around and change them after marriage??!

There is a name for people like OP but seeing as a this is a public forum. . .twill be uncouth to repeat it.

No worry dey there,when ur 1st pikin go look like father and may be d second one too!

simpleseyi: I advice that she DIVORCES you becos you dont deserve her. Go ang get married to your church member. My wife is a christian while I am a muslim, I will not invite her to the mosque becos Religion and Salvation are Personal. Even if you bring up your children in the church, they can still grow up to be muslims.

You couldn't even stop your wife from making suspicious night calls becos you are just a boy ang not a man.

but how do u cope with your muslim brothers & in ur home too?well u r one in a million of them that don have anything against christians.may God richly bless u 4 me.

lanre_front:

You don't know much about the Bible; you just think you do.

Elders in the Church have the authority to annul a marriage based on outright deceit. Example, a woman that has no womb but kept this from the man. Example: a guy that has no stable job but deceived the girl into thinking he works at a bank. A guy who pretended to a woman he had an apartment of his own only for the woman to discover he only borrowed from a friend to deceive and now he tells her they will live in his parent's house and there is nothing she can do about. They have even been guys who are muslims or some other occultic religion, but because they want a good woman and they really dig her person, they lead her to believe they completely converted to christ by following her to church frequently with a faked ethusiasm. Then immediately after marriage, he shows his colour, beleiving there is nothing the woman can do since the christian God ahtes divorce. Nonsense! God didn't say that so that every good con men or women can trap his children into a nightmarish marriage.

Even because of recent happening, some churches are delibrating on anulling marriages in which the man it is clear that the man is an un-repentant wife beater, and the beating had gotten to the point the woman's life is now in danger.

Churches do annul such marriages every now and then. Stop saying what you don't know about.

And what the elders annul stands annuls before God; unless God does not reckon with the church.

There is nothing I find more amusing than someone making a case for the person they are arguing against.

Kobo said what OP wants to do is not Biblical and this dude decides to regal us with stories about how "church elders" are doing things, which is soooooo different from what is in the bible and that's his proof that Kobo does not know the bible??

Hehehehehe. . .this is why we tell some people to take the time out to read the Bible themselves and stop buying hook, line and sinker what the Pastors say the Bible says

So, for me, these are the two issues.

1) The OP does not love his wife. If he did this shouldn't be an issue. Rather than complaining on nairaland, they would both sit down and resolve the problem. The excuse of deceit really doesn't wash with me. Trust only God! If you put your trust in a human (who is fallible) then you should expect disappointment. Think about it this way, how many times have you been unfaithful to God and what if God decides not to forgive you but to punish you for every time you've not kept your word?

Marriage is full of ups and downs and it would never succeed if the partners do not know how to forgive each other. You may leave her now, but what would you do when your next wife goes back on her word?

2) Did they get married at all? I find it very hard to believe that you were not informed of her vow (both at the time she made the commitment and during marriage counselling). Which priest would celebrate matrimony without confirming that this has been done? However, if by some strange occurrence, you were not informed, then that might be grounds for annulment (although it's not certain that the marriage would be annulled).

In the Roman Catholic Church an annulment is the procedure, governed by the Church's Canon Law and the Catechism, whereby an ecclesial tribunal determines the sacrament of marriage was invalidly entered into. An annulment determines the Catholic marriage to be void at its inception. A "Declaration of Nullity" is not a legal dissolution of an existing civil marriage, but rather a determination that the sacrament of marriage was not entered into validly.

The Catholic Church affirms in a true marriage, a man and a woman become "one flesh" before the eyes of God. The Church views marriage as a Sacrament validly contracted and entered into by one man and one woman. Various impediments can render an individual unable to contract into sacramental marriage.

For this reason (or for other reasons that render the marriage null and void) the Church, after an examination of the situation by the competent ecclesiastical tribunal, can declare the nullity of a marriage, i.e., that the marriage never existed. In this case the contracting parties are free to marry, provided the natural obligations of a previous union are discharged. - Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 1629)[1]

Reasons for Nullity


1) Lack of Canonical Form

Members of the Catholic Church are required to marry in front of a priest (or deacon) of the Church (CCC 1630). If one of the parties is Catholic, but there is a serious reason why the marriage should be celebrated in front of a civil servant or a non-Catholic minister, a dispensation can be granted. If no dispensation was granted and the couple did not observe this law — the marriage is invalid. Because the nullity of this marriage is clear from the circumstances, there is no need for a canonical process to issue a Declaration of Nullity. The correction of this invalidity requires the couple to exchange their consent according to canonical form (commonly called "having the marriage blessed"

2) Impediments


If one of the parties was prohibited from marrying by a diriment impediment, the marriage is invalid. Because these impediments may not be known at all, the marriage is called a putative marriage if at least one of the parties married in good faith.

Diriment impediments include:

a) Being too young (the absolute minimum age is 16 for men, 14 for women, but episcopal conferences can set a higher limit)[2]

b) Antecedent and perpetual impotence (not to be confused with sterility)[3]

c) Ligamen, being already married[4]

d) The situation in which one party is a Catholic and the other has not been baptized (unless a dispensation is granted)[5]

e) The man was ordained to holy orders[6]

f) Either party made a public perpetual vow of chastity in a religious institute[7]

g) Abduction with the intent of marriage (known as raptus), is an impediment as long as the person remains in the kidnapper's power[8]

h) Impediment of Crime, bringing about the death of one's own spouse or the spouse of another, with the intention of marriage[9]

i)Close relationship by blood, called Consanguinity, even if the relationship is only by law[10]

j) Close relationship by marriage, called Affinity[11]

Some of these laws can be relaxed by a dispensation before the ceremony. For example, Catherine of Aragon and Henry VIII received a dispensation from the impediment of affinity. The correction of this invalidity after the marriage requires first that the impediment has ceased or has been dispensed, and then a "convalidation" can take place or a sanatio in radice can be granted to make the marriage valid.

Grounds for Nullity

A marriage may be declared invalid because at least one of the two parties was not free to consent to the marriage, or did not fully commit to the marriage.

Grounds for nullity include:

1) Force or grave fear imposed on a person to obtain their consent (canon 1103)

2) The consent was based on a condition or reservation (canon 1102)

3) No intention, when marrying, to contract a lifelong relationship (simulation of consent) (canon 1101§2)

4) The intention, when marrying, never to have children (canon 1101§2)

5) A serious lack of the discretion at consent concerning the essential matrimonial rights and obligations to be given (canon 1095 n.2)

6) Psychological incapacity at consent to fulfill the essential obligations of marriage (canon 1095 n.3)

According to canon 1095 a marriage can be declared null only when consent was given in the presence of some grave lack of discretionary judgment regarding the essential rights and obligations of marriage, or of some real incapacity to assume these essential obligations. Pope Benedict XVI in his address to the Roman Rota in 2009 [12], echoing words of his predecessor John Paul II, has criticized "the exaggerated and almost automatic multiplication of declarations of nullity of marriage in cases of the failure of marriage on the pretext of some immaturity or psychic weakness on the part of the contracting parties". Calling for "the reaffirmation of the innate human capacity for matrimony" , he insisted on the point made in 1987 by John Paul II that "only incapacity and not difficulty in giving consent invalidates a marriage"

Process

Marriages annulled under the Catholic Church are considered as ab initio, meaning that the marriage was invalid from the beginning. Some worry that their children will be considered illegitimate if they get an annulment. However, Canon 1137 of the Code of Canon Law specifically affirms the legitimacy of children born in both valid and putative marriages (objectively invalid, though at least one party celebrated in good faith). Critics point to this as additional evidence that a Catholic annulment is similar to divorce; although civil laws regard the offspring of all marriages as legitimate.

However, there are some significant differences between divorce and annulment. Divorce is concerned merely with the legal effects of marriage. Annulment, however, is also concerned with the reality of whether or not a true marriage was ever formed. This leads to the second difference. At least in most countries, divorce is always possible. However, not all applications for marriage nullity are granted.

An annulment from the Catholic Church is independent from obtaining a civil annulment (or, in some cases, a divorce). Although, before beginning a process before an Ecclesiastical Tribunal — it has to be clear that the marriage cannot be rebuilt. Some countries, such as Italy, allow the annulment process to substitute for the civil act of divorce. In many jurisdictions, some of the grounds the Catholic Church recognizes as sufficient for annulment are not considered grounds for a civil annulment. In such cases, the couple will often need to be divorced by the civil authorities to be able to re-marry in the jurisdiction. Once the Church annuls a marriage it would generally prefer that the marriage be subsequently annulled by the civil courts. However, should this not prove feasible, a civil divorce is acceptable.

If someone has been married previously and the first spouse is still alive, he or she must get a Declaration of Nullity before entering into a marriage in the Catholic Church, even if neither party in the marriage was Catholic (privilege of faith being separate cases). The Catholic Church treats as indissoluble and valid every marriage when it is the first marriage for both parties. However, the Church does not recognise as valid a marriage when one of the parties is Catholic but the marriage was not celebrated before a Catholic minister (unless a dispensation was first obtained).

Canon law presumes all marriages are valid until proven otherwise (canon 1060). Annulment Respondents who want to use Canon Law to defend their marriage against declarations of invalidity have the right to have a competent Advocate assisting them. An Advocate is like a lawyer. Respondents have the right to read the Petition (called Libellus, meaning little book) of the Petitioner. The Petition must describe, in a general way, the facts and proofs that the Petitioner is using as the basis for alleging that parties' marriage is invalid. It is necessary that tribunal judges study the jurisprudence of the Roman Rota, since the Rota is responsible to promote the unity of jurisprudence and, through its own sentences, to be of assistance to lower tribunals (Dignitas Connubii Art. 35, citing Pastor bonus, art.126). Annulment Respondents can use case law from the Roman Rota to support their defense of marriage. Roman Rota decisions are available at Msgr. Cormac Burke's website[14].

In order to obtain a declaration of nullity, the parties must approach a Catholic diocesan tribunal. Most applications for nullity that are heard by the tribunal are granted because one or both of the parties are judged to have given invalid consent. In order to give valid consent, the parties must give it freely. They must have a basic understanding of what they are doing and have given some thought and evaluation to their decision to enter marriage (canon 1095, Code of canon law 1983). They must be capable of fulfilling the promises they make on the wedding day; that is, not suffer from any psychological infirmity (canon 1095) that will prevent them from giving themselves in a partnership of the whole of life that has as its ends the well-being of the parties and the procreation and education of children (canon 1055). They must intend the words that they speak on the wedding day; that is, intend to form a permanent and faithful partnership, open to sexual acts that are procreative (canon 1101). Serious failures in these areas can allow a possible successful application for marriage nullity. There are other reasons that might justify an allegation of invalid consent, such as a serious error concerning the person to whom marriage promises are made (canon 1097), one party being seriously deceived by the other at the time of the wedding (canon 1098) or one of the parties being subjected to force or grave fear without which the marriage would not be occurring (canon 1103).

Church tribunals are courts. As with any court, the person bringing the matter before the judges must prove his or her case. Tribunals will advise applicants as to how they can present the evidence necessary to prove a case. Of course, not every application is successful. The tribunal judges always have the difficult task of distinguishing those unions that were flawed from the outset from those valid marriages that have broken down.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annulment_(Catholic_Church)

She deceived you, dint keep to her promise. btw, any difference btw catholic and anglican? There are same thing. And what is a married woman discussing with the so call reverend father at odd hours? Are the both of them sane? Don't ur wife and the reverend have respect for the marriage union? Anyways, it's You that allowed the midnight conversations.

xyloxloto: @Kobojunkie: why are you trying to justify DECEIT and you are making it seem it is okay to be deceitful,it seems you like or are living a life of deceit yourself

I too simply dont understand why he feels deceit/not keeping to promises is okay.

Danka7777:

Brainwashed Nigerians...report her to revered father? Who do you people think these revered fathers are? God! Don't be surprised if these clergies have more sins under their belts than you, honestly.

is it the judge u present ur case to in the law court that is God?. Don't u know that the church have similar court where they settle marital problems b/w husband and wife?. So reporting to both Anglican & Catholic priests may help him make a good decision.

Odunnu: The real problem you are having even though you just mentioned it in passing isnt religion/denomination. It is the fact that your wife is adulterous -atleast you suspect her. What a shame! At 36years, she should be mature enough to be responsible and keep a promise.
My advice? Keep pleading hopefully, she'l see reason.

Is she adulterous? It seems to me like the poster is regretting the union and now wants a justifiable out. Maybe he's met someone else?

@poster the truth is most women of this faith are generally stubborn when it comes to their faith. Both of you could have avoided this knowing too well that its going to be an issue. She shud have waited for a man from her faith. Forget all those bla bla on dis forum. A woman should follow her husband to his church. it is one of the things u consider before accepting a marriage proposal. Now that the deed has been done, invite people that can talk senses into her. She will gain nothing from stubborness rather a divided home will b the outcome. people should learn to call a spade a spade. Period.

Just look for a way of sorting out things, divorce should not come into the picture for now. Keep talking to her and praying over it. If possible talk to her close friends or people you think she respects. Most things that appears not to have a solution get resolved with time. Like you stated your married is not up to a year yet.
So work on it.

Kobojunkie:

Instead of remaining ignorant, pick up a Bible and READ . . IGNORANCE is not bliss especially when you have access to the very same source of information on Christianity,and the God of Christianity, that your so called "elders" have. It is stupid to put your salvation in the hands of other humans.

Jesus never built you a church or told you that marriages can be annulled by elders. Nor did his disciples say of that. A marriage agreement, whether it happens in a church building, in a night club, or on the beach somewhere is not between you and a church but between you and God. So please pick up a copy of that book called the Bible, and read it . . . read it for yourself so you can know fact from fiction. It is so sad that even the educated in a country that boast of being one of the most religious nations on the planet, cannot even read the Bible to know truth of a religion they claim to live.

Clearly you are the one that is ignorant. You think being philsophical and an independent and free-minded thinker makes you think you know the Bible.

Sure, we are to study the Bible ourselves and not idolize men of God.

Sure; but you think you know than men of God over the ages that have served God almost all their lives and made great sacrifices for God, even with their very lives . So all of them don't know anything. You are the one that really knows. Even Paul in the Bible, an Elder and Apostle listed some conditions where the wife or husband is permitted to re-marry without any guilt on their part. But you guys just keep on quoting one part of the you probably heard from somewhere since it has become a slogan.

Then any reasonable person who reads my post will definitely see sense in it even if she or her is not completely convinced. The fact that you completely disregarded everything with total disdain says this:

I believe people like you are hypocritical. I'm sure if you got married in the church to a guy, who deceived you that he is a graduate, a christian, a business man whose business is into oil and gas. Within 6 months of marriage, you discover he is an AMORC and has a secret shrine in his house, he really his a drug-pusher and a weapon and arms dealer, he has three children from women he never married and far from what being a christian, he infacts hates christianity and pastors and anything that has to with God with a passion. Infact, he can't stand you praying.

When you confront him, he says it's all true and so what about it. He says you are his wife now and you do what he says.

I've been reading your posts and thread for a while I can fairly guage your temperance and your kind of person. I'm sure even before the church makes a decision, you would have made your own decision and absconded.

And don't even start by saying such can never happen to you because that's just nonsense. It has happened to men and women that are probably more intellectually advanced and wiser than you. It has even happened to some women who are leaders of big christian ministry.

And by the way, the church leader who I said has been sitting down with other leaders to consider annul marriages where the husband is an unrepentant wife beater with clearly no hope or intention of changing is Pastor Ashimolowo. Please let me hear you say he does not know the Bible or that he is a fake man of God. They are doing this because of an increasing number of women who are being killed in their homes by the very man who is to protect them. Revelation is continous and the some changes do not necessarily changes the basic fundamentals of the Bible and God's laws.

An example of your one-sided shallow bible-knowledge, but take heart because you are not in it alone:

You shout here God says in the Bible "I hate divorce". But in the same Old Testament Bible, God gave to Moses laws concerning the process by which Isrealite men should follow in divorcing their wives. Did you know that? If you say it's a lie I will search and post that section of the Bible. Can't remember off-hand now.

Even in the LETTERS of Paul to the Church, there was a part where he was making giving judgement on a matter and he said as he is talking, even though he has not received direct orders from God, he says as an upright Apostle of God (he goes on to list his credentials) that is filled with His spirit, he is speaking the mind of God and everyone can take that to the bank.

But I will agree the rise in theses times, all sorts of fake ministers have not made the matter simple as it was then. But it does not change the fact that elders
leaders in the church do make decsions like that and they've making for a long time. No be today. Granted Paul case was special he really really was of one mind with God. He infact was first among the Apostles even though he met Jesus physically. But I'm not speaking of a single church leader making decision here. We are talking of several who have steadfastness and are credible men of God, spirit-filled coming together. As iron sharpeneth iron, so does mind sharpeneth minds. So you think the Spirit if God won't be present in their forum? You think they are being led of the devil and not of God? You think God will not reckon with whatever they come up with as long as it does not contradict his Word. God is no respecter of person, but he is a honour-er of men and he honours his chosen ones.

Did you know that at a time, church leaders all over the world, spirit-filled men, gathered and decided which books to remove from the Bible and which book stays. They were almost going to remove the Songs of Solomon but in the end they included it back because through rubbing of minds, they came realize that it depicted the kind of love that christ had for the church. Does God not confirm today that the Bible is His word through many ways.

Like I said, stop thinking you are an epitome of Bible-knowledge. If you were a lawyer I would have called you a baby-lawyer.

Since religion is so important to you, you shouldn't have married her.

lanre_front:

Clearly you are the one that is ignorant. You think being philsophical and an independent and free-minded thinker makes you think you know the Bible.

Sure, we are to study the Bible ourselves and not idolize men of God.

Sure; but you think you know than men of God over the ages that have served God almost all their lives and made great sacrifices for God, even with their very lives . So all of them don't know anything. You are the one that really knows. Even Paul in the Bible, an Elder and Apostle listed some conditions where the wife or husband is permitted to re-marry without any guilt on their part. But you guys just keep on quoting one part of the you probably heard from somewhere since it has become a slogan.

Then any reasonable person who reads my post will definitely see sense in it even if she or her is not completely convinced. The fact that you completely disregarded everything with total disdain says this:

I believe people like you are hypocritical. I'm sure if you got married in the church to a guy, who deceived you that he is a graduate, a christian, a business man whose business is into oil and gas. Within 6 months of marriage, you discover he is an AMORC and has a secret shrine in his house, he really his a drug-pusher and a weapon and arms dealer, he has three children from women he never married and far from what being a christian, he infacts hates christianity and pastors and anything that has to with God with a passion. Infact, he can't stand you praying.

When you confront him, he says it's all true and so what about it. He says you are his wife now and you do what he says.

I've been reading your posts and thread for a while I can fairly guage your temperance and your kind of person. I'm sure even before the church makes a decision, you would have made your own decision and absconded.

And don't even start by saying such can never happen to you because that's just nonsense. It has happened to men and women that are probably more intellectually advanced and wiser than you. It has even happened to some women who are leaders of big christian ministry.

8And by the way, the church leader who I said has been sitting down with other leaders to consider annul marriages where the husband is an unrepentant wife beater with clearly no hope 8or intention of changing is Pastor Ashimolowo. Please let me hear you say he does not know the Bible or that he is a fake man of God. They are doing this because of an increasing number of women who are being killed in their homes by the very man who is to protect them. Revelation is continous and the some changes do not necessarily changes the basic fundamentals of the Bible and God's laws.

8An example of your one-sided shallow bible-knowledge, but take heart because you are not in it alone:

You shout here God says in the Bible "I hate divorce". But in the same Old Testament Bible, God gave to Moses laws concerning the process by which Isrealite men should follow in divorcing their wives. Did you know that? If you say it's a lie I will search and post that section of the Bible. Can't remember off-hand now.

Even in the LETTERS of Paul to the Church, there was a part where he was making giving judgement on a matter and he said as he is talking, even though he has not received direct orders from God, he says as an upright Apostle of God (he goes on to list his credentials) that is filled with His spirit, he is speaking the mind of God and everyone can take that to the bank. (But I will agree the rise in theses times, all sorts of fake ministers have not made the matter simple as it was then. But it does not change the fact that elders (leaders in the church do make decsions like that and they've making for a long time. No be today.

Did you know that church leaders all over the world, spirit-filled men, gathered and decided which books to remove from the Bible and which book stays. They were almost going to remove the Songs of Solomon but in the end they included it back because through rubbing of minds, they came realize that it depicted the kind of love that christ had for the church.
Like I said, stop thinking you are an epitome of Bible-knowledge. If you were a lawyer I would have called you a baby-lawyer.

But there is a difference between someone straight up lying to you about who....what they are and someone showing themselves inside out to you.

Wifey never pretended she was anything but catholic. . . Hubby knew her for exactly who she was, so your example of the guy who pretends he is a graduate, works in the oil industry and blah blah blah does not apply here because once again. . . WIFE DID NOT PRETEND TO BE ANYTHING BUT CATHOLIC.

However let us take your example and apply it properly. . . This is like a woman coming here saying when she met her hubby, he was one of the yellow uniform wearing agberos who chase buses at the bustop and this is what he did throughout their courtship but he promised her that when they get married he would go back to school, graduate, work in the oil industry and gas industry etc. 9months into the wedding, he has not made any attempt to do all he promised before marriage. . .now she is worried about the spirit of agberoism affecting her children. The thought of having a buncha children who will end up chasing after buses in their dirty yellow uniform fills her with dread and wants to know if she can end the marriage.

Can we now say hubby pretended to wife about who he really is?

Beync: She deceived you, dint keep to her promise. btw, any difference btw catholic and anglican? There are same thing. And what is a married woman discussing with the so call reverend father at odd hours? Are the both of them sane? Don't ur wife and the reverend have respect for the marriage union? Anyways, it's You that allowed the midnight conversations.

I wonder! Where is it in the bible that a woman should answer calls at odd hours from her Reverend father? Cos almost everybody is pointing out to the bible says this the bible says that and many blabing. Some people r even saying the op doesn't love his wife , therefore looking for avenue to divorce her. I don't know abt u all, but As for me I dislike stubborn women and I detest being tricked by one.
She tricked the op it is as simple as ABC and if the op decides to end his relationship because he was tricked then fine, I see nothing wrong in that. We are all different with our believes. Op the batton is in ur hands u, u can either call some well respected folks to talk to her or decides to divorce her.

From the op cries I think this woman will never change. My 20 cent.

Hey if OP has evidence of his wife cheating on him. . . Go ahead and divorce her cheating behind. Doubt anyone can stand against that, even though a case for forgiving and forgetting can be made citing cases where men were forgiven by their wives after cheating.

.. .. .. but that is not the grouse here, what some of us are taking issue with is OP trying to use his wife's religious faith as excuse by claiming she "decieved" him about what she is.

@Kobojunkie
.....I love your brilliant suggestions.....

@op.........u married her in the catholic church due to her plea to you that you guys should 'please' her parents who are staunch catholics.... Well, u can as well start attending the catholic church in other to please your wife. No offence...... You claim you had your reservations about the catholic church before the marriage(even before you met her....I believe) but then you dated and married a catholic lady in a catholic church!.... It doesn't add up....
Is it peer pressure?....

^^^exactly!
U had all these reservations, yet u married a Catholic? Its really difficult for a Catholic to leave the Catholic church, that's like the most difficult thing for them.
If u really are as liberal as u claim, this really shudnt be a problem to u. I just feel you are looking for justifiable reasons for divorce and you want us to be ur support and backup

The poster I think is liberal. The only thing I can find here is total deceit and not being able to keep to the marriage terms. Simply put, this is the beginning of bigger issues. At 36 she sure must hv had a lot of chips on her shoulder which was y she remained single up till this point.

SHE DOES NOT LOVE U PERIOD, AND PROBABLY NEVER WILL CUZ THE CHIP ON HER SHOULDER WONT GIVE HER THAT TIME. A woman with this kind of attitude is not ready to be in a marriage. Marriage is all about COMPROMISE. All u ladies here spitting crap has failed to show where the woman in question has compromised. NONE. Dude, if I were u, better start parking or get ready for a long miserable life.

Sisi_Kill:

But there is a difference between someone straight up lying to you about who....what they are and someone showing themselves inside out to you.

Wifey never pretended she was anything but catholic. . . Hubby knew her for exactly who she was, so your example of the guy who pretends he is a graduate, works in the oil industry and blah blah blah does not apply here because once again. . . WIFE DID NOT PRETEND TO BE ANYTHING BUT CATHOLIC.

However let us take your example and apply it properly. . . This is like a woman coming here saying when she met her hubby, he was one of the yellow uniform wearing agberos who chase buses at the bustop and this is what he did throughout their courtship but he promised her that when they get married he would go back to school, graduate, work in the oil industry and gas industry etc. 9months into the wedding, he has not made any attempt to do all he promised before marriage. . .now she is worried about the spirit of agberoism affecting her children. The thought of having a buncha children who will end up chasing after buses in their dirty yellow uniform fills her with dread and wants to know if she can end the marriage.

Can we now say hubby pretended to wife about who he really is?

You do have some points, I will concede that to you. However, know that I only gave that those examples because of the iron-clad posture by some people by throwing up the passage. God says "I hate divorce" from the Bible which is only one side of the story. God was actually saying he hates divorce for just any frivolous reasons because that it what Isrealite men were doing to their women. It was then He now gave instructions to Moses on how they must go about in divorce. Even those laws God gave then no longer applies because Jesus had raised the bar ( the standard) in the New Testament. Even when he was raising it (i.e the BAR) He made reference to the Old Testament by saying "In the past, Moses allowed you to do.......... so so and so ............ But now I tell you...............so so and so.

Yesn what the lady in question did was not as extreme as the ones I mentioned (and believe me this things have happened. Will give one funny but true example soon) but it's still along the same lines. He categorically told the guy after marriage she will leave the Catholic church and start attending same church with him knowing very well the matter is very close to the guy's heart and as such very important, vital and essential to him. Immediately after the wedding, she does 360 degree turn-around and says nothing of such is going to happen. That in my book is a serious matter. It's now left to each individual to decide how serious it is for them. But for someone to sit down somewhere and say its no big deal dosen't cut it at all. Its a big deal to him and the lady know that.

Now to my example: In Deeper Life Church, like that mid-nineties, a lady married a man whom the whole church considered to be a nice christian brother because that is what he portrays through his actions, utterances and behaviour. The lady got married to him and everyone was happy. They did not have any sex during courtship.

Then the guy began to demand for sex like a mad man; a man possessed. He wants sex from the lady every time, every minute. After marathons through the evening and night, in the morning he will still want it before the lady can go to work. In making her case, the lady said, if she makes a mistake coming back home to pick something in the afternoon (seems her workplace is close to her home) and they jam each other, he must make her have another rounds of sex, and that will not disturb the one that is still coming for evening and night. It was sex sex sex all the time and it was everyday. Believe you me, Deeper Life Church anulled that marriage within six months.

8ogoegbunam: Thanks all for your advice. I married her in the catholic church due to her plea to me that we should please her parents who are staunch catholics. My grouse is that she lied to me that she will change her sect once we are married.I am a very spiritual person, I have my reservation about the catholic church. I respect all christians and muslims. Everyone have a right to belong to any faith. I believe that the spiritual atmosphere of my home have been poisoned. I have dreams and precepts that guide my life and marriage. I even gave her the choice to pick any of the numerous pentecostal churches were both of us can attend as a couple. Yet she insisted on cathlic church or nothing.am not a sect fanatic, but I believe a couple and kids should attend same sect.

luk.as far as am concerned,tel ha parents.the aggrement.tel ha pastor nd urz.get ur parents advce.u people wl agree infrnt of them that ur kds wuld b anglican.if she refuses tell ha bye bye,am sure she wuld be scared nd cm 2 ha senses.she is old nw,she wil behave.in marriage d kds go to their fadas church,my mum was methodist nw cos of my dad she is anglcan.she must leave ha people in orda 2 b married.u cant marry a deceitful person...d court wl grant u divorce cos she misrepresntd haslf whch made u go in2 a union.the marriage cn b dislvd.cos there is a breach of d terms.proudly anglcan.i dnt advce dvorce cos God hates it.tel d pastorz 2 get involvd.tel ur parents nd has,xcept they dnt wnt their daughta married.if she lvs u she wl submit.there must b a way k.dnt dvorce.threatn ha.unles oo unfaithfulnes...

Catholic- roman tradition.Anglican-english culture.Couples-africans.Issues,marital and personal.The bone of contention here happens to be indoctrinated religion that is devastating africa and depriving africans from using their common sense.

Honestly,marrying to a person who caannot make his or her own decisions is more like marrying a child,without cohesive cognitive abilities.Adults should get married when they can think,then they will be able to raise rational children that can uphold a society rationally.As it is now in africa,children are being given birth to by children and the endless circle of doom keeps repeating itself.

Until africans are mentally free from the shackles of christianity,islam and colonial mentality,africa will remain the "sore in the eyes of the world" the infamous tony blair statement that africans didn't see anything horrible and undermining about.