snthesis:
5. Go out, guys need to be able to see you often, dnt stress us with digging the garden looking for a jewel, abeg display urself.

Erhmmmm what about indoor girls like us?

snthesis: do i need a job, car an apartment, etc, what do i basically need?

Sounds like you know what you need if you could list those...

y me:
Erhmmmm what about indoor girls like us?

Do you have a boyfriend?

o boy today is my bday i av the same thaught too. i thing we need money and nothing else.
becos if you av money every other thing will follow. do not mind those people who might be
telling you, you donot need money. my brother it is not true you need money badly.
you should knw that you are not suppose to pull any lady from her house were she eat good meal,
drive good car and bring her to house were feeding will be a problem acept you would like your neighbor
to help.

MRbrownJAY:

and yet you dont want to agree with me that you need time in order to know someone....so what is your solution? get married after 15days?
PEOPLE shouldnt care really about what he/she devils have done.......its all about YOUR own peace of mind. now, the important question IS: would you really believe you know someone after a few months of dating?! but hey, if you want to judge the actions of some few others in order to decide when to get married then, by all means, do that.

there are equally many people out there who have been married and got to know who their partner was, through extensive time spent getting to know one another (aka dating etc), finding what issues there may be, and work on these issues and decided to get married anyway.

here is my advice to anyone who think like you: spend valuable time to get to know that person, and when YOU bfully believe that you know them, then sit them down and (while looking into their eyes) ask them the important question/issues that you may have.......then make up your mind about if that person is the right one to get married to.

remember, there is a huge difference between finding (after marriage) that your wife has some temper issues, and finding that your wife's second name was Lucifer, lol!

I never said that you can marry someone after a few days. 6 months is enough for a full grown man or woman to make a decision as long as quality time has been spent during that period and you have been able to find out enough about the person's family background. I'm not married but I have seen many 5-8 year relationships go down the drain after less than a year of marriage. Such is life my dear. No matter how you plan for something, if God does not bless it, or if luck is not on your side, it will never work well. When you meet your soul mate, your spirit will tell you.
And as for difference between finding (after marriage) that your wife has some temper issues, and finding that your wife's second name was Lucifer, the truth is that there is no diff at all cos at the end of the day, you are still gonna be biting your fingers in regret!

^^^^ as i stated earlier, its all about peace of mind. so if you believe that you know everything you need to know about someone after 6 months, then marry them but IMHO, just to make sure, you should let it play out. i mean MARRIAGE is not going to run away from this world, so waiting cannot be hurtful to your r/ship...... or can it? so why the rush, unless you are desperate?! we all know that desperate people dont think rationally because they have an ulterior motive that will erase whatever common sense they may have. so if anyone feels that someone will get their bf/gf before them then it means that they were never meant to be with you.

as for you mentionning God on this matter, pls lets not start a whole new debate.....but keep God out of Marriage pls, as only the participant are to be blame for its failure or success NOT GOD!

Jayfizz: U guyz just dey talk job as if say e easy 2 get beta job 4 naija..

forget about dating/marriage for a minute and then tell us all how a man should care for his immediate needs, if he cannot get a job?! traffic light begging maybe? highway robbery? 419? drug dealing?

pretty-bee:
If u r handsome, u have a good paying job, n of cos a catholic den call my number 08174750806

lol, NL never fails on the comedy part......see this comedian bringing out all his tricks!

b4 i proceed,hapi betday and many wondaful years ahead.Now u want 2 settle down cause u feel u shud.Now dis is one major mistake,most youths make nowadays.gettin married is not sumthin u decide 2 do spontaneously cos of sum rather obscured reasons.Questions 2 ask urself are dis.
-are u ready for marriage considerin an array of factors includin age,finance,profession,family background e.t.c.
-hav u found "d one"?
-Are u emotionally matured 4 marriage?
-is marriage ur major priority at dis stage of ur life?
If d answer is yes,then u are good 2 go.
One thing u shud constantly remind urself of is dis if u rush in2 marriage u wud most likely rush out of it or u remain emotionally unhapi 4 lyfe.

Bisjosh: The first and only step is to get a lady to marry

Big FAT brown lie!! Its what you folks use to deceive awon guys.

The first thing to do when contemplating marriage is to start hanging out at a good ashi joint, they are the most truthful type of girls because all they need is gbola and mula. After that, head straight to her village and buy plenty kain kain and palm oil..the end, you are happily married

Gogobiri Lalas: The first thing to do when contemplating marriage is to start hanging out at a good ashi joint, they are the most truthful type of girls because all they need is gbola and mula. After that, head straight to her village and buy plenty kain kain and palm oil..the end, you are happily married

lol

What the first philosopher said, such will the last repeat- Henry Thoreau

y me:
Btw never knew it was ur bday, happy bday honey

tanx,

olsmade: I'm surprised @ all d candid advice OP is garnering. From the topic and his responses, its obvious (IMHO) that he's just seeking attention and prolly enjoying it

Agreed. He's Seeking Attention.

MRbrownJAY: ^^^^ as i stated earlier, its all about peace of mind. so if you believe that you know everything you need to know about someone after 6 months, then marry them but IMHO, just to make sure, you should let it play out. i mean MARRIAGE is not going to run away from this world, so waiting cannot be hurtful to your r/ship...... or can it? so why the rush, unless you are desperate?! we all know that desperate people dont think rationally because they have an ulterior motive that will erase whatever common sense they may have. so if anyone feels that someone will get their bf/gf before them then it means that they were never meant to be with you.

as for you mentionning God on this matter, pls lets not start a whole new debate.....but keep God out of Marriage pls, as only the participant are to be blame for its failure or success NOT GOD!



forget about dating/marriage for a minute and then tell us all how a man should care for his immediate needs, if he cannot get a job?! traffic light begging maybe? highway robbery? 419? drug dealing?



lol, NL never fails on the comedy part......see this comedian bringing out all his tricks!

@mrbrownjay, pls sir, educate us on why God should be put aside when it comes to choosing your life partner and marriage.

I would like to learn from you sir.


Thanks.

God bless you.
God2man.

^^^people are quick to say that God must bless a marriage for it to work....and we all know that this is BS!!!!
PEOPLE SHOULD ACT RIGHT for any union to work, and thats ALL it takes. too many bible pushers are deluded in saying that if a marriage work then thats because God blessed it, and as soon as it fails, then God had no part in it....bloody hypocrites!

if your union is great then blame YOURSELF for it, and if it is NOT great then equally blame YOURSELF for making the wrong choices OR not behaving right.
anyway, how could anyone confirm that God blessed any union? because some BS pastor said so...... because it felt right.......because your parents blessed it.....because the guy is rich.....?

here is something very simple to understand about this God's blessing BS: if God has no power over Satan's work, therefore God could bless a union today, and then Satan will come and scatter it next week (simply by using the weakness of man). so God's blessing has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the success or failure of any marriage, it is all down to that ONE individual who decided to listen to Satan's calling (like Eve), and mess up!

this is just another one of the "bible pushers and fake pastors" tricks to have you hoodwinked and believe that anything that failed in life is because it wasnt blessed by God.
i guess if we listen to these thieves in robes we should now say that the creation of Eve wasnt blessed by God because Satan's calling was too strong for her to dismiss?! it makes NO DAMN SENSE!!!!!!!

MRbrownJAY: ^^^people are quick to say that God must bless a marriage for it to work....and we all know that this is BS!!!!
PEOPLE SHOULD ACT RIGHT for any union to work, and thats ALL it takes. too many bible pushers are deluded in saying that if a marriage work then thats because God blessed it, and as soon as it fails, then God had no part in it....bloody hypocrites!

if your union is great then blame YOURSELF for it, and if it is NOT great then equally blame YOURSELF for making the wrong choices OR not behaving right.
anyway, how could anyone confirm that God blessed any union? because some BS pastor said so...... because it felt right.......because your parents blessed it.....because the guy is rich.....?

here is something very simple to understand about this God's blessing BS: if God has no power over Satan's work, therefore God could bless a union today, and then Satan will come and scatter it next week (simply by using the weakness of man). so God's blessing has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the success or failure of any marriage, it is all down to that ONE individual who decided to listen to Satan's calling (like Eve), and mess up!

this is just another one of the "bible pushers and fake pastors" tricks to have you hoodwinked and believe that anything that failed in life is because it wasnt blessed by God.
i guess if we listen to these thieves in robes we should now say that the creation of Eve wasnt blessed by God because Satan's calling was too strong for her to dismiss?! it makes NO DAMN SENSE!!!!!!!

There are actually situations where you should not and cannot blame yourself and instead should blame your partner for it. Things can go out of one's control due to perfectly normal human limitations.

Just saying!

^^ so long as such people dont blame God for their misfortune then you are simply saying what i am saying (in Saga's language).
if a person chose a weak partner, then they should equally blame themselves for making the wrong choices, when that said r/ship failed due to these same weakness.

MRbrownJAY: ^^ so long as such people dont blame God for their misfortune then you are simply saying what i am saying (in Saga's language).
if a person chose a weak partner, then they should equally blame themselves for making the wrong choices, when that said r/ship failed due to these same weakness.

No. We are saying different things.

Sometimes someone can pick another person that can be pretentious and manipulative to achieve a goal. Saying and doing the right thing all through. Then they abuse the trust when they want to.

Or maybe they were not even pretentious and manipulative but their values changed midway into the relationship.

You can't blame yourself for that because it is not everything one can know about someone that does these. You blame the abuser of the trust.

^^^ of course some of the blame has to do with the weakness or craziness of that other person, but that shouldnt take away the fact that you made the wrong choices when choosing them OR that God is responsible for it.

if she was hiding her true self then blame yourself equally for being fooled by this cunning person......and if your partner changed midway through the union and doesnt want to take part in it any longer, then again THAT person should be blamed and certainly NOT God.

remember, when i say blame yourself, i mean YOU as the participants, instead of blaming God.

MRbrownJAY: ^^^ of course some of the blame has to do with the weakness or craziness of that other person, but that shouldnt take away the fact that you made the wrong choices when choosing them OR that God is responsible for it.

if she was hiding her true self then blame yourself equally for being fooled by this cunning person......and if your partner changed midway through the union and doesnt want to take part in it any longer, then again THAT person should be blamed and certainly NOT God.

remember, when i say blame yourself, i mean YOU as the participants, instead of blaming God.

I never said anyone should blame God.

I am telling you there are situations where the person has no blame, they are just unfortunate and all blame should go to their partners.

If a young woman is looking to get married and unlike her peers she is determined not to go for a bad boy and will only marry a good man. She attends church regularly and focuses mainly on only men that are religiously dedicated, not the "I just wan show face". And during her numerous church goings she meets and gets to know one of the young and most respected pastors in the church. Everyone sees him as a good guy and he has no history of wrong doing, just an extended history of good behaviour.

She dates him for a good 2 years and he respects her and treats her right and then they marry. Then after 3 years of marriage, she finds out he has just impregnated the housegirl and also another 18-year old church goer. Do you say she takes the blame for her choice? No. She has done everything rational to make sure her choice was good. The whole blame lies with the pastor that changed.

She is human and has human limitations. She cannot predict the future or enter people's minds. She has to make decisions based on the limited information and resources she has. As long as she has done that well, she has no blame.

If you take your child to the airport to travel on holiday, you avoid all the useless airlines and only elect BA because of reputation, and after take off the plane crashes 3 hours into the flight because of some minor fault BA thought best not to reveal because of the financial impact and as it was judged not to be a completely pertinent danger. Do you blame yourself for your choice and for falling for their cunning ways? Or do you heap all blame on BA?

Sagamite:
I never said anyone should blame God.

then why bother replying, if you dont know the context in which that answer was made?! are you simply hell bent on trying to get back at me for humiliating you on that other thread?! lol!

THE WHOLE ISSUE IS ABOUT PEOPLE BRINGING GOD TO MATTER SUCH AS THE CHOICE OF A MARRIAGE PARTNER....reply to that or stay spying in the dark with your fake profiles!

i suggest you read again why i wrote what i wrote, and reply accordingly, OR open a new thread and put your query to the whole NL posters......... instead of coming up with BS issues here! i know you are dying to get into another discussion with his highness MBJ (lol), but this is not the time playa!

MRbrownJAY:

then why bother replying, if you dont know the context in which that answer was made?! are you simply hell bent on trying to get back at me for humiliating you on that other thread?! lol!

THE WHOLE ISSUE IS ABOUT PEOPLE BRINGING GOD TO MATTER SUCH AS THE CHOICE OF A MARRIAGE PARTNER....reply to that or stay spying in the dark with your fake profiles!

i suggest you read again why i wrote what i wrote, and reply accordingly, OR open a new thread and put your query to the whole NL posters......... instead of coming up with BS issues here! i know you are dying to get into another discussion with his highness MBJ (lol), but this is not the time playa!

I did not reply.

I simply added to an inconclusive and incomprehensive logic.

That is what I do on NL. I read people's post line-by-line and evaluate the logic to correct it or part of it where necessary.

That is a privilege I am afforded due to my God-given superior brain.

I am lecturing you on how to present logically tight posts. Accept the education with grace.

Sagamite:
I did not reply.
I simply added to an inconclusive and uncomprehensive logic.

if you have anything to add to the question as to why God shouldnt be mentionned when stalking about STEPS TO GET MARRIED then bring them on, as what you wrote made ABSOLUTELY no sense to that particular subject.

That is what I do on NL. I read people's post line-by-line and evaluate the logic to correct it or part of it where necessary.
That is a privilege I am afforded due to my God-given superior brain.

yet, your "superior brain" made you write gibberish as an answer to what i wrote?!
bro Saga, there is no shame in saying that you want to argue with me and my "inferior brain" as you claim......but take you time, some day i will allow you that pleasure, until then, you better STICK TO THE SUBJECT!!!!

I am lecturing you on how to present logically tight posts. Accept the education with grace.

yet, your "superior" eyes, attached to your "Superior" head which house your "superior" brain, COULDNT UNDERSTAND A SIMPLE REPLY TO A SIMPLE QUESTION?!
i suggest you quickly use your "superior" legs to run to some "superior" store, and buy some "superior" toilet paper, to wipe the "superior" shiit that is clouding you obvious "superior" judgment, lol!

superior indeed!

MRbrownJAY:
if you have anything to add to the question as to why God shouldnt be mentionned when stalking about STEPS TO GET MARRIED then bring them on, as what you wrote made ABSOLUTELY no sense to that particular subject.

yet, your "superior brain" made you write gibberish as an answer to what i wrote?!
bro Saga, there is no shame in saying that you want to argue with me and my "inferior brain" as you claim......but take you time, some day i will allow you that pleasure, until then, you better STICK TO THE SUBJECT!!!!

yet, your "superior" eyes, attached to your "Superior" head which house your "superior" brain, COULDNT UNDERSTAND A SIMPLE REPLY TO A SIMPLE QUESTION?!
i suggest you quickly use your "superior" legs to run to some "superior" store, and buy some "superior" toilet paper, to wipe the "superior" shiit that is clouding you obvious "superior" judgment, lol!

superior indeed!

I am not adding anything to the question, I am correcting you.

Simples!

You said: "if your union is great then blame YOURSELF for it, and if it is NOT great then equally blame YOURSELF for making the wrong choices OR not behaving right".

And I corrected that part of your logic by stating that there are cases you cannot blame the person. That is not gibberish, that is superior thinking. Your logic is inconclusive and incomprehensive. I showed you how it can be made conclusive and comprehensive by imitating my apex-superior logical process.

Take the free education with grace. I am benevolent with my superiority. Be grateful!

@mrbrownjay, since you are not legally married, i think it is not logical to convince people that God should not be involved in an ancient institution called marriage, or are you an"ex"?.

The home is the foundation. The real home is built by man and woman join together in marriage. A strong nationhood is built in the home. The greatness of every nation begin at home. The home is the foundation of a great nation. When you do not have a home, ( it is not house, house is not the home, a big building does not make a home) a home where the character of the future leaders are formed by the parent in a godly way. If you do not have a home acording to my definition,then you need to have a re-think.

However, the enemy of the soul of a man, the devil hates Godly home with perfect hatred, he has worked really hard to the extent that marriage is becoming hell on earth, but that does not mean that there are no happy homes, many people are enjoying their union, while others are enduring it.

According to sagamite, we are limited, we are prone to error, we make mistakes. Working very hard is good, but that is not to say we will succeed. We need something extraordinary, and because the world is a mysterious place, we need a spiritual intervention in all our endeavours to succeed in life. This is the reason why we pray, we fast, we praise GOD, we are not the owner of this world, the creator, GOD has the whole world in his hand, and he can do whatever he likes with it. Through obedience and walking in his ways, we can always ask him to help us. GOD.

So, the truth is, we cannot hide our relationship from God, whether we bring God to it or we push him aside, he can see everything. He has already given us the inner police called conscience, we know the difference between good and bad, we know. We pretend that all is well, but the conscience will always come and say, do you think what you are doing is right? Of course, we will argue and get ahead anyway.

At the end of the day, we are going to bring all our relationship naked before him. Whether we like it or not.


God bless you.
God2man.

God2man: @mrbrownjay, since you are not legally married, i think it is not logical to convince people that God should not be involved in an ancient institution called marriage, or are you an"ex"?.

The home is the foundation. The real home is built by man and woman join together in marriage. A strong nationhood is built in the home. The greatness of every nation begin at home. The home is the foundation of a great nation. When you do not have a home, ( it is not house, house is not the home, a big building does not make a home) a home where the character of the future leaders are formed by the parent in a godly way. If you do not have a home acording to my definition,then you need to have a re-think.

However, the enemy of the soul of a man, the devil hates Godly home with perfect hatred, he has worked really hard to the extent that marriage is becoming hell on earth, but that does not mean that there are no happy homes, many people are enjoying their union, while others are enduring it.

According to sagamite, we are limited, we are prone to error, we make mistakes. Working very hard is good, but that is not to say we will succeed. We need something extraordinary, and because the world is a mysterious place, we need a spiritual intervention in all our endeavours to succeed in life. This is the reason why we pray, we fast, we praise GOD, we are not the owner of this world, the creator, GOD has the whole world in his hand, and he can do whatever he likes with it. Through obedience and walking in his ways, we can always ask him to help us. GOD.

So, the truth is, we cannot hide our relationship from God, whether we bring God to it or we push him aside, he can see everything. He has already given us the inner police called conscience, we know the difference between good and bad, we know. We pretend that all is well, but the conscience will always come and say, do you think what you are doing is right? Of course, we will argue and get ahead anyway.

At the end of the day, we are going to bring all our relationship naked before him. Whether we like it or not.


God bless you.
God2man.

Apart from the part of referring to Sagamite and home being a foundation, what a whole load of tosh.

I wonder why God is not intervening in your religiously crazy country/continent where failure is the norm but yet the nations that don't give a hoot about religion are advancing.

Don't sit down and use your brain and be waiting for spiritual intervention.

Utter tosh!

Sagamite:

I am not adding anything to the question, I am correcting you.

Simples!

You said: "if your union is great then blame YOURSELF for it, and if it is NOT great then equally blame YOURSELF for making the wrong choices OR not behaving right".

And I corrected that part of your logic by stating that there are cases you cannot blame the person. That is not gibberish, that is superior thinking. Your logic is inconclusive and incomprehensive. I showed you how it can be made conclusive and comprehensive by imitating my apex-superior logical process.

Take the free education with grace. I am benevolent with my superiority. Be grateful!

lol saga and his narrow minded logic..........again, if none of the participants can be blamed then who is to be blamed then?

MRbrownJAY:

lol saga and his narrow minded logic..........again, if none of the participants can be blamed then who is to be blamed then?

You honestly lack comprehension!

Show me where I said none of the participants should be blamed.

That is the same moronic way you alleged I accused you of saying assets pre-marriage should be shared.

Maybe the fear of my intellect gets you all bothered, sweaty and confused to the point you struggle to comprehend small posts.

So, I wait. Show me where I said no participant should be blamed.

^^^ i am saying all along that both the participants should be blamed and not God, and you are saying that we are not saying the same thing then what the Bleep are you saying then and WHO should be blame if NOT THE PARTICIPANTS?! you are clearly failing...... and because you do so, i will post again what i wrote earlier because you dont deserve an answer.......

if your union is great then blame YOURSELF for it, and if it is NOT great then equally blame YOURSELF for making the wrong choices OR not behaving right.

if a person chose a weak partner, then they should equally blame themselves for making the wrong choices, when that said r/ship failed due to these same weakness.

of course some of the blame has to do with the weakness or craziness of that other person, but that shouldnt take away the fact that you made the wrong choices when choosing them OR that God is responsible for it.

if she was hiding her true self then blame yourself equally for being fooled by this cunning person......and if your partner changed midway through the union and doesnt want to take part in it any longer, then again THAT person should be blamed and certainly NOT God.

remember, when i say blame yourself, i mean YOU as the participant[b]s[/b], instead of blaming God.

now tell us all smart Mr: who should be blamed if not you or your partner?!

A fight b/w Saga and MBJ!

Interesting . . . .

MRbrownJAY: ^^^ you are clearly failing...... and because you do so, i will post again what i wrote earlier because you dont deserve an answer.......


now tell us all smart Mr: who should be blamed if not you or your partner?!

Haba, MBJ!

M to the B to the J!

Bros, that no be wetin I ask you na!

A whole MBJ Logica!

What I asked you was to show me where I said none of the participants should be blamed so we can confirm you are capable of comprehension when reading.

Then you bring all this rubbish and then say it is me that is "failing".

You want to use the same "I no go gree" mentality that you use to claim you won me in an argument when I humiliated your asss senseless?

Lets do it again, bros. Prove your aptitude for comprehension.

Show me where I said none of the participants should be blamed.

We are waiting. MBJ comprehension!

Ujujoan: A fight b/w Saga and MBJ!
Interesting . . . .

nah, its definitely not a fight, just another debate that Saga is trying to stir, to get back on his pedestal!

@Saga
ok let me help you once again:
MBJ is saying all along that THE PARTICIPANTS OF MARRIAGE SHOULD BE BLAMED FOR THE FAILURE OF THAT SAID MARRIAGE, no one else.
suddenly Saga comes here with some nonsense post but says he isnt saying exactly what i am saying.......so my question to you is/was: WHPO IS TO BE BLAMED IF NOT THE PARTICIPANTS?! and now he goes on his BS run around once again.
oh lawd Saga!

so the question remains: if you believe that you are NOT saying what I (MBJ) is saying then WHO IS TO BE BLAMED IF NOT THE PARTICIPANTS?!