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How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. - Romance - Nairaland

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How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by ijigbamigb(m): 3:19pm On Oct 09, 2012
I hardly get angry and all my life, I haven't had a physical fight with anyone but lately I discover I can be uncontrollable when offended though am not quick to anger. I can be very abusive and swear. I can say words like 'get d hell outta my life' and after some minutes begin to beg because I actually said those words out of d immediate anger. I don't drink, I don't smoke and I don't cheat, I am very dedicated to my quest for a good life, and a happy home in d future and don't ever wish to be distracted.

How do I control myself not to be abusive when angry (cus I hate it and my fiancée hates it as well).
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Nobody: 3:32pm On Oct 09, 2012
ijigbamigb: I hardly get angry and all my life, I haven't had a physical fight with anyone but lately I discover I can be uncontrollable when offended though am not quick to anger. I can be very abusive and swear. I can say words like 'get d hell outta my life' and after some minutes begin to beg because I actually said those words out of d immediate anger. I don't drink, I don't smoke and I don't cheat, I am very dedicated to my quest for a good life, and a happy home in d future and don't ever wish to be distracted.

How do I control myself not to be abusive when angry (cus I hate it and my fiancée hates it as well).

First of all, report this issue to God in prayers. Then learn how to be more quite whenever you are being upset by anyone especially your Fiancee, be conscious of your quietness all the time.

Anger is a destructive tool in the heart of the bearer and if you can't control this now that your single, it's going to be disastrous by the time you are married. May God help you.

3 Likes

Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by ijigbamigb(m): 4:02pm On Oct 09, 2012
Thanks @kunletiwoo
I have been praying about this. And I often try to be calm but trust ladies never to be quiet when u are quiet. Sometimes I try to leave my apt to relax outside for a while just to be able to regain my calmness but she hates that. She says she like it when we argue and settle not when I walk out to be calm.
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Nobody: 4:22pm On Oct 09, 2012
ijigbamigb: Thanks @kunletiwoo
I have been praying about this. And I often try to be calm but trust ladies never to be quiet when u are quiet. Sometimes I try to leave my apt to relax outside for a while just to be able to regain my calmness but she hates that. She says she like it when we argue and settle not when I walk out to be calm.

Ma brother, one must always be a 'Sheep' and the other, a 'Goat'(an illustration). Do you understand my illustration? If yes, I implore you to be the sheep.

Women will always be women, the earlier you understand this the better for you. She, not keeping quite whenever an argument occur does not give you the license to talk/reply her. In fact it hurts them(women) the most such that they feel so irritating to themselves whenever you(a man) refuses to alter a word back at them. That's what makes you a man that you claim to be.

Lastly, Quietness/meekness is a virtue and not a gift, you just have to consciously covet and desire it before it can become a part of you.

Cheers.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by ijigbamigb(m): 4:53pm On Oct 09, 2012
Thanks a lot Kunle. You are so on point here and I really need to master d act of quietness even at point of frustration. This, I will task myself to do. And by God's grace will become a better man.

3 Likes

Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Nobody: 4:59pm On Oct 09, 2012
ijigbamigb: Thanks a lot Kunle. You are so on point here and I really need to master d act of quietness even at point of frustration. This, I will task myself to do. And by God's grace will become a better man.

I wish all the best in life smiley

Cheers.
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Nobody: 5:09pm On Oct 09, 2012
guess I'm not needed here
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Mynd44: 5:59pm On Oct 09, 2012
joeydozzy: guess I'm not needed here
You knew too late huh?
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Nobody: 6:08pm On Oct 09, 2012
Mynd_44:
You knew too late huh?

yeah
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Mynd44: 6:27pm On Oct 09, 2012
joeydozzy:

yeah
Pele
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by ijigbamigb(m): 6:33pm On Oct 09, 2012
@joeydozzy, @Mynd_44
Your advices also can be of great help.
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Mynd44: 6:37pm On Oct 09, 2012
ijigbamigb: @joeydozzy, @Mynd_44
Your advices also can be of great help.
Sorry, I forgot the topic
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by ichidodo: 6:55pm On Oct 09, 2012
GUY, ANGER IS GOOD. GIVE IN TO IT AND WATCH URE PROBLEMS DISAPPEAR.
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Nobody: 7:19pm On Oct 09, 2012
ijigbamigb: I hardly get angry and all my life, I haven't had a physical fight with anyone but lately I discover I can be uncontrollable when offended though am not quick to anger. I can be very abusive and swear. I can say words like 'get d hell outta my life' and after some minutes begin to beg because I actually said those words out of d immediate anger. I don't drink, I don't smoke and I don't cheat, I am very dedicated to my quest for a good life, and a happy home in d future and don't ever wish to be distracted.

How do I control myself not to be abusive when angry (cus I hate it and my fiancée hates it as well).

keep ur silence,be swift to hear but be slow to speak,it works for me.just keep it cool.
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Bunchersstab(m): 7:26pm On Oct 09, 2012
My guy anger @ times dey necessary.
It helps...
Your own better say u no dey even fight.
E dey make people no step on your toes anyhow
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by bittyend(m): 7:27pm On Oct 09, 2012
Propofol and sedatives..

Don't try them at home before you end up like Michael Jackson cheesy
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Blackbody20(m): 7:33pm On Oct 09, 2012
Anger can never settle issues. It will only stir up an arguement fiercely. I used to be angry back then, i've gotten over it after series of prayers and discipline(being quiet).
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Nobody: 7:35pm On Oct 09, 2012
When u get pissed off, just do this;
Whisper quietly "I refuse to be angry" for as long as u can then shower. I tell u, u would smile after.
If u can't get a shower(maybe ure at work, just drink water). It helps me most times cos I av a bad temper
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by ijigbamigb(m): 7:43pm On Oct 09, 2012
candygosh: When u get pissed off, just do this;
Whisper quietly "I refuse to be angry" for as long as u can then shower. I tell u, u would smile after.
If u can't get a shower(maybe ure at work, just drink water). It helps me most times cos I av a bad temper
seriously, d shower idea is kool...and mixed with quietness will help alot...
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Nobody: 7:47pm On Oct 09, 2012
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by MyneWhite1(f): 7:58pm On Oct 09, 2012
Chaircover has said my mind.

Practice that and you'll be fine with time.
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by etunoman76(m): 7:58pm On Oct 09, 2012
Kunletiwoo did a gud job addressing the issue. Like someone posted, she'll always want u to say something even when u are on the brink of losing it. Sometimes I walk away, which doesnt always solve d problem at hand, but works for me most times. Sometimes, I pretend like nothing is happening, pick up a book, magazine to read, put on the tv, listen to a good song. Sometimes, u just try to inhale and exhale as often as possible.
My wife can nag and get me infuriated sometimes, and has pushed me to the brink a couple of times, but I thank God that I have been able to handle it. Most importantly, learn to communicate with her and learn the kind of person she is

However, I'd suggest that if u are dealing with someone outside ur relationship, I think walking away at that moment is best, especially if it's getting violent/abusive.
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by mrperfect(m): 7:59pm On Oct 09, 2012
Understand that no one Is perfect.
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Nobody: 8:04pm On Oct 09, 2012
[size=15pt]Me sef, I dont get angry easily but when I get angry I am uncontrollable..and I hate myself when I get angry... cry cry cry cry cry[/size]
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Nobody: 8:05pm On Oct 09, 2012
In addition to the suggestions already mentioned, make sure you're not stressed out. Get adequate food, sleep and exercise. Try to minimize use of drugs and alcohol.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by Orikinla(m): 8:13pm On Oct 09, 2012
I read a book like the Holy Bible, 48 Laws of Power or The Art of War to know how to turn my anger into positive power.
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by 2million1(m): 8:16pm On Oct 09, 2012
When i get angry n don't wanna react i just drink a cold glass of water n thats it.
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by chucky234(m): 8:18pm On Oct 09, 2012
I never get angry,I am just too perfect to be upset.
**singing only me by 2Face**
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by StarFlux: 8:20pm On Oct 09, 2012
I do get angry sometimes for no reason at all. It is not necessarily a bad thing to be angry, as long as you don't do anything regrettable while being under the effect.

Try to undermine it by thinking about the consequences. Everytime you get angry sit down ask yourself "why did I get angry?"
As already mentioned, read the Bible and pray to God. Even if you are not a Christian, it can be good to let it all out sometimes.
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by ijigbamigb(m): 8:20pm On Oct 09, 2012
Orikinla: I read a book like the Holy Bible, 48 Laws of Power or The Art of War to know how to turn my anger into positive power.

LOL...power play most times fail when dealing with someone u love so dearly...
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by pendo89(f): 8:23pm On Oct 09, 2012
I get my recorder and compose songs.Tunes and rythms just flow.
Not to talk about housework.I get this extra energy to clean everything.From roof to floor.
Can even wash the neighbours dishes! The satisfaction is awsome. wink
Work really does wonders.
Re: How Do You Deal With Anger Issues. by ijigbamigb(m): 8:26pm On Oct 09, 2012
chaircover: When I am angry I "attack" housework and/or play gospel music or get on the treadmill. You can try that, maybe it will work for you.

As regards your lady wanting you to stay and sort it, you are going to have to explain to her that this is your way if keeping your anger under control and that you cannot effectively sort out whatever the issue is whilst you are boiling.

Personally I dont like people walking out on me and I like to sort it out there and then, but I understand that not everyone can deal with anger the same way and I'd rather whoever it is walks away for a breather than him/her saying or doing something that will further escalate the situation.

There is nothing wrong in being angry. Its a healthy emotion . . . the idea is not to let the anger take hold of you or let it control you and make you do silly things that you will later regret.

exact thing, i try to avoid... thanks everyone...I've really learnt a lot here today...

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