m.k.o2005:

The spirit has got nothing to do with courtship.Agrred that you have to accept who you are marrying in heart and in spirit.Please see below:
If you dnt know where you are going to,ask for God's direction
After you have been directed to ur would be life partner or to WHERE you will find her,and you see who you LIKE,
You will find out that the person will be a 'christian'becos God is directing you,
Ask yourself a question concerning your future life with that person you hav seen and liked,
If you experience calmness of the heart havin asked urself that question,
Please note that the calmness or disturbance in heart is a sure possible ways God speaks to even a baby christian,
Havin considered all the above to be on the positive side,go ahead and propose to the person.
Because you have been directed by God does not mean the person can not object to ur marriage proposal,
This is where you start to work to make her accept you but not as in the case of Courtship where you go into relationship to study,learn or for compatibility check.
If the would be life partner accepts you,inform your parents and she would do same then you guys can start to plan for marriager and not courtship but in a situation where she refuses to accept you,move on with life and apply same principle yuou will see you will get married easily.
I tell you my brother,the devil does not want us to get married hence courtship which most certainly leads to pre-marital sex and God's wrath towards us the chosen.
The coming of the lord will be like the days of Noah men will be getting married and giving out their daughters in marriage.The devil does not still like this one hence his strategic and devlish delays through courtship and others !
Remain blessed.

kessyur: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time And Very Improper-pst. Chris

i just finish listening to Pst. Chris Ojigbani. He spoke bitterly against courtship which he described as a waste of time. According to the renowned marriage counselor, you can never study a partner in toto so why waste time. He said two people can never be compatible . I kind of see some facts in what he said. What are your opinions?

temiflex01:
y wld u agree? becos he is a pastor, God gave all beings a mindset to discover yourself&knw wht suits u. Marriage aspect, u jst need ur mindset&pray to God. u dont hv to follow d idea dt worked 4 som1 else, it may not work for u.
Who also told u it wont change a thing, it wld definately reduce so many tins dt may hv gone haywire. dont be blindfolded by belifs. think!!

Ifilinwa: so then, how do i find out if me nd partner are compatible??

temiflex01:

dts what u say in the name of xtianity to sisters in church, God said u r my wife abi? God is interesting anyway..I have a brother in my church dt followed thesame step has uhv advised..he&d lady are both in d usherin deprtment..he found interest in d lady, within few weeks, they made dr intention knwn to the pastor, and the pastor didnt oppose to it, like a month later dey got married in church. The lady is a nurse, after a yr&few monts of lookin for a child, he visit places to pray, one of d places he do visit to pray, he was givin a blessed water&d pastor advised her wife must drink out of it in some minutes tyme&join the prayer dey are abt doin wit one mind. the man nw ran to her wife place of work to give her the message, on gettin to her office@d hospital, thou he do visit frequently and the receptionist recognised him has one of dir nurse husband, so she ordered him to go check her wife somwhr inside, gettin in&openin one of the wards door, he found her wife under d doctor. It was later findings made him realise some workers of d hospital knw abt it, that they use to hv regular sex wit each other&they never told him wit all his regular visit. The only tin was to thank God for d man dt he finally found out who he married has wife. it was a situation dt threw d whole church in confusion, cos d case was brought to pastor in church. The only word d woman was sayin is dt d pastor forced d guy on her dt she did not love him. wht a woman the guy married&did a white wedding wit. I am not disappointed anyway, cos d union was too short, whn they met&get married is not up to 2monts or 2monts.
So in marriage situation i dont need to follow anybody, if u like quote bible frm today till 2morrow, give example of moses, abraham or solomon, ur pocket, blessed be unto the man that did it wit brain, those ones did it according to situations of life then&worked for them, I dont need to follow dir style, tins has changed, like it or not, u must change wit it. I will explore my brain&mind, dts y God gave it to us, not just to follow d way of all d prophets in d bible, we shld hv bin created sheep then, so we cld just follow follow no option. I will be in a minimum courtship of a year wit d lady, blend her to my taste@ least 60% before marriage. Its my choice! dont advise me on wht to do, do it for urself.
He that finds a wife found a good tin not He that was told how&listen to how to find a wife. Let me do it my own way, thnks!!
Ok bro.No one is forcing anything on any one here.It's obvious that what the bible says matters less to u cos you said if i klike i should quote everything in the bible that it does not matter.
Concerning the lady who was unfaithful to her husband,it does not mean becos she goes to church and for that reason she is a christian,no.Or for the mere fact that the pastor gave a nod to their union and wedded them does not make the pastor any less a man of God or the one responsible for the break up or the promiscuity of the lady in question.The guide lines i gave i never mentioned pastor but you,God and the partner in question. When you ask for God's direction,u will sure be guided and get married to a christian.When u eventually get married,it does not mean every thing will be all rosy but there will be challenges but for the lady to EASILY fall for infidelity, means she has got nothing of the trait of the holy spirit.If u engage in fornication now,marriage will not make you stop it,rather you will only be committing adultery cos u are married now.Go with the WORD and not the world or church ! The word should be all and all ! He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the lord.Pls note,this saying is for BELIEVERS and not for un believers ! I'm not judging any man but that's what the scripture says ! The bible says:Do not be deceived,God is not mocked !
Follow ur heart as you said .May God bless you.

temiflex01:

dts what u say in the name of xtianity to sisters in church, God said u r my wife abi? God is interesting anyway..I have a brother in my church dt followed thesame step has uhv advised..he&d lady are both in d usherin deprtment..he found interest in d lady, within few weeks, they made dr intention knwn to the pastor, and the pastor didnt oppose to it, like a month later dey got married in church. The lady is a nurse, after a yr&few monts of lookin for a child, he visit places to pray, one of d places he do visit to pray, he was givin a blessed water&d pastor advised her wife must drink out of it in some minutes tyme&join the prayer dey are abt doin wit one mind. the man nw ran to her wife place of work to give her the message, on gettin to her office@d hospital, thou he do visit frequently and the receptionist recognised him has one of dir nurse husband, so she ordered him to go check her wife somwhr inside, gettin in&openin one of the wards door, he found her wife under d doctor. It was later findings made him realise some workers of d hospital knw abt it, that they use to hv regular sex wit each other&they never told him wit all his regular visit. The only tin was to thank God for d man dt he finally found out who he married has wife. it was a situation dt threw d whole church in confusion, cos d case was brought to pastor in church. The only word d woman was sayin is dt d pastor forced d guy on her dt she did not love him. wht a woman the guy married&did a white wedding wit. I am not disappointed anyway, cos d union was too short, whn they met&get married is not up to 2monts or 2monts.
So in marriage situation i dont need to follow anybody, if u like quote bible frm today till 2morrow, give example of moses, abraham or solomon, ur pocket, blessed be unto the man that did it wit brain, those ones did it according to situations of life then&worked for them, I dont need to follow dir style, tins has changed, like it or not, u must change wit it. I will explore my brain&mind, dts y God gave it to us, not just to follow d way of all d prophets in d bible, we shld hv bin created sheep then, so we cld just follow follow no option. I will be in a minimum courtship of a year wit d lady, blend her to my taste@ least 60% before marriage. Its my choice! dont advise me on wht to do, do it for urself.
He that finds a wife found a good tin not He that was told how&listen to how to find a wife. Let me do it my own way, thnks!!

striktlymi:

Ills of not courting before marriage:

1) It's a typical sign of desperation and anything done out of desperation is hardly of God. God is patient!
2) It is tantamount to marrying a total stranger.
3) So called Christian brothers use it as a medium to deceiving unsuspecting sisters.
4) It can lead you to marrying a guy who is impotent.
5) One can marry a prostitute or someone who is gay without knowing.
6) It can lead to marrying someone whose genotype is not a match with yours.
7) It can lead to a cry of 'had I known'.
Not courting makes someone reckless and cheap.
9) It can lead someone to marrying a killer. There are so many dangerous people out there.
10) It can lead to so many other ills and disadvantages. Just think about it, if courting has its disadvantages what about not courting?

venibaby: courtship is very important cuz we r 4rm diff background n nids 2 study each oda.lets nt mak d mistakes of our fathers

striktlymi:

Ills of not courting before marriage:

1) It's a typical sign of desperation and anything done out of desperation is hardly of God. God is patient!
2) It is tantamount to marrying a total stranger.
3) So called Christian brothers use it as a medium to deceiving unsuspecting sisters.
4) It can lead you to marrying a guy who is impotent.
5) One can marry a prostitute or someone who is gay without knowing.
6) It can lead to marrying someone whose genotype is not a match with yours.
7) It can lead to a cry of 'had I known'.
Not courting makes someone reckless and cheap.
9) It can lead someone to marrying a killer. There are so many dangerous people out there.
10) It can lead to so many other ills and disadvantages. Just think about it, if courting has its disadvantages what about not courting?

striktlymi:

Guy I really would love to agree with you on this but common sense would not permit me cause really what you have itemized really do not support sentiments for not courting. If you think that courting will lead to some of the things you have highlighted, don't you think that worse things would happen if there is no courtship? If you meet a lady on the way and tell her you want to marry her, won't you be surprised and a bit skeptical if she says 'yes'?

Some people are of the opinion that holy scripture is against courtship but this is not stated explicitly in the bible. Remember that when Joseph wanted to marry Mary, the families of both parties agreed to the union and when Joseph found out that she was with child, he wanted to let her go in-formerly. Doesn't this show that Joseph actually courted her and found out about the pregnancy?

Also remember that courtship is also meant for the people involved to get to know whether they are medically compatible. I have seen families suffer because their genotype was not a match. This has impacted negatively on the family life. Not courting to find out whether you guys are compatible would mean selfishness and not a care for your children. And in these days of HIV/AIDS, if you decide to marry someone under an hour, how would you know if the person is not HIV positive?

I believe the positive aspect of courting far outweighs the negative. Safe journey home thou.

emilyone: I believe the pastor purposely said that to discourage young people from immorality under the disguise of courtship cus these days you hear young guys saying they cant just buy a car without test driving it.

dgregs336: Dat pastor dey crase Dat pastor dey crase

buhak: relationship before marriage is very good because the bible said by there fruit you shall know them not by there word.

qualified: Hmm, i was at one of his seminars in Ecumenical center Abuja, where he told us not to trust anyone even our spouses. He said one of d problems of marriages is Trust.
During question n answer section, i was among d 1st to come out and i asked how i shld not trust my spouse. He confused me d more.
I never went near his seminars after that day!

His teachings sef, i no fit shout sha

stagger: I watched one of his programs in 2008 and I could immediately see through his charade. How can a man and woman live together without courtship?

That is like telling someone to enter a Boeing 737-300 without going to flying school. Both he and the aircraft will end up damaged goods. So it is with marriage without courtship.

simo4real: I totally disagree wt the poster, Courtship before marriage is still the best. How will you know the kind of person you want to involve ur self wt if not through courtship.I mate my wife to be during my year 1 in University we dated still we finished school went to service secure jobs now we finally want to break the silent of courtship on this coming sat 27th Oct to proclaim our love for each other in the presence of Almighty God.(I do I do sum tin)

booqee: I'm so disappointed dat you'll use d case of adam and eve as example. Theirs was a divinely created union..so why of course would they need courtship??
Abeg park well.

amaikama:

so if theirs is a divine created union and it is in this same divine created union that brings sin which courtship spring up from we are now discussing!! every thing has a foundation!!! if u want to solve any problem,u go to the root of the problem...all the so-called courtship that is so perfect as we all think,how come we have marriages crumbling,cheaters every where? if u court ur wife/husband,the last thing that will be in ur mind it divorce or cheating..excerpt there is more to it dan miss the eye...mind u,i know courtship does not necessary mean happy marriage. if not knowing a woman/man u dont love still cheat/divorce and the one u said u love still cheat!! then something is defienately rong some where.

make i park as u talk!!!

nd.gfx:
Ermegerd!!!!
Another Pastor expressed an opinion. Sadly, we still live in a generation where people can't tell the difference between an baseless opinion and the gospel truth.
oO well, moving on.

Wise+Judge:
Courtship is a medication administered to reduce the effect of something which one may not be able to change but can manage. The truth is, courtship is good but not a guarantee that you will find out everything about the person. Considering the dynamic nature of human beings, no one can really claim to know anyone completly. The more we grow,the more we change; we start to accept and dispel certain ideologies based on the experiences garned from life. Some people become better while others become worse. Some could pretened to be what they are not in order to get what they want. Some people even join churches deceitfully just to get married. It takes only Divine direction to actually know the person you are dating because there is nothin hidden from God, with whom we have to do. Courtship or No courtship, people would always get married and its workability is dependent on their attitude to eachother. Marriage is an empty glass, what you get is a function of what you have put in.

fluid26: Fake pastors everywhere!

m.k.o2005:

You dnt have to follow the pastor but the word of God and if it's coming from the pastor fine and good. What good do you think courtship can do for you ? Pls tell me some more !

m.k.o2005:

I once mentioned that marriage isn't for unbelievers ! But when i saw that people might be hurt and start to abuse or say all sought of things to me,i mellowed down.When God designed marriage,HE had un-believers in mind.The first man and woman ever made on earth believed in God totally until something happened!God designed that union for them which could have gotten to us through them before the serpent deceived Eve.But toady,believers and un believers alike get married and even for the un-believers,they some times get converted and accepts the Lord God Almighty.This is a good thing that goes a long way to show that God can't make a mistake. @striktlymi,the reason i am very very slow to use scriptures for now is becos there are so many people on NL who either does not believe in God let alone the scripture or ignorant of what the scripture is saying or don't understand the spiritual angle of the scripture.I quoted Gen.24 61-65 When some one argued that Isaac courted with Rebekah.But the scripture showed us how Isaac for the very first time met with Rebekah after part of the bride price has been paid even. Bro,i dnt know if u are a christian or one who hates the word and the servants of God. But if i establish the fact that u are a true Christian or one who want's to learn from the little i know,i will by the special grace of God show you

every single point i make here in the Holly bible. God bless you.

m.k.o2005:

You will find out in marriage and work on what so ever you see. Those who thot they were compartible and went ahead to get married,filled in for divorce days,weeks,months or some few yrs after.Ask for divine direction and start to work it out in marriage.God bless you.

m.k.o2005:

Bro,when you put ur trust in someone becos of the things u have learnt about the person in courtship,does it not contradict God's word ?

m.k.o2005:

When folks engage in pre-marital sex during courtship does it not contradict God's word ?

m.k.o2005:

When you try to trust in ur ability to know how a partner best fits u during or the reason for courtship undermining divine direction as stipulated by the word of God does it not contradict God's word ?

m.k.o2005:

When a thing is not biblical by any standard and it's consequences are grave,does is not contradict what the word says ?

m.k.o2005:

We can go on and on but i tell you,if i'm guilty in only just one of the above listed,i have contradicted the word of God and if any of the above mentioned is displayed becos of or during courtship,it makes courtship a devilish practice !
I'm signing out.Will continue tomorow.

m.k.o2005:

Thanks bro

sexkillz: Mr pastor Whoever, with all due respects, shut tha fark up!