ileobatojo: Staying in an abusive marriage just for the kids is not reasonable. As a matter of fact if you insist on staying, you should be looking to send the kids away to grow in a safe, stable environment is what you should be doing. Sounds extreme right? But imagine the daily internal turmoil the kids are going through witnessing what is going on. Imagine the stress and fear they feel day to day as they don't know when the next episode will start. Imagine living their childhood walking on eggshells everyday instead of experiencing the richness of a good childhood. I would guess they are likely victims of his abuse as well even if it's only verbal. The long term psychological effects nko? How about the fact that they have a higher chance of becoming abusers themselves when they get older? The stress and effects of staying in an abusive home far outweighs the temporary stress they may (or may not) feel from a separation. In their hearts, I'm sure they are desperately praying you remove them from that situation. You can provide them a loving and stable environment on your own and that's what they need to thrive.

Imagine yourself as a child growing up watching this type of thing in your home everyday for years and years. Would it affect you?

okosodo: Even though i believe you, ask him wether there is any thing that you do that irritates him

Abdul Adam56: Jst be patient,one day it wil turn 2 story.

BlueDiva: Thank God my dad wasn't violent and my husband isn't violent.
Lord knows i would have put a bullet in one of their skulls if they were.

A violent man is nothing but a beast and a weakling.

okosodo: Even though i believe you, ask him wether there is any thing that you do that irritates him

Siena:

I agree with the highlighted.

Not with the bullet through the skull though - you'd get done for 1st degree murder, and it'll mean they've won!

BlueDiva:

LOL. . .that's why i said thank God.
Sometimes you don't push a person too far.

@OP
The reason i hardly respond to all these threads is because it is always one sided.
The woman/man always paints a very bad picture of the spouse while not mentioning their faults.

These faults might be what is making the partner act the way they do.
He is your hubby, you dated him and loved him before. Figure him out!

BlueDiva:

You are so smart you couldn't give a decent advice.
Even retards like you want to have an opinion. Another waste of space.

debrief08: So Madam, apart from staisfying society and baring the Title of Mrs, please tell us what you enjoy in the marriage?

durobraham: secondly@poster u asked if u should move out or stay for the sake of the kids?
do u really think that those are ur options?
ur husband is an abuser, u by all indications have been an enabler. U have both emotionally abused ur 3kids.
Do u really think that if u move out eight years of abuse would be wiped out& it would be eldorado for y'all?
u said u moved out earlier but u came back. why did u come back?
u said he begged u. did he promise he'll change&did u believe it?
Or did u go back because u realized dat moving out wasnt easy& then u gave up?
I said all dat to say this, ur goal should be how do i irrespective of all that has happened in my family grow into a healthy happy woman?
how do i raise healthy happy kids?

Madam there is no one size fits all for u in this situation. its not as simple as u moving out or getting a divorce?
all these things are steps but not the goal. What u need is peace&joy! Who u need to be is an emotionally healthy woman.
what u need to develop is strength courage& wisdom
d honest truth is that living with ur abusive husband would require wisdom&so will being a divorced seperated mother of 3.
if d physical abuse is severe or life threatening i would suggest u move out temporarily but if not i would suggest u follow d next few steps i would share with u toward healing irrespective of ur past hurts.