stillwater: @OP

Why are you complaining? Don't you know you have to be the reason why you are dealt with? Search yourself, you probably stopped doing something right. From experience, the person who cries wolf first is usually the culprit, and only seeks to throw a pity party. Try as much much as possible to be the other side of the story. People are more endearing to that. So bottle it inside for now. From research, most men are the ones being abused. So what's the likelihood your story is true? I doubt it.

Lmao!

Hopefully the OP gets the sarcasm.

BlueDiva:

People enjoy looking for a scapegoat. It's the nature of man.
It takes willpower to be realistic and put sentiments aside and analyze things objectively.

It's actually easy to join the bandwagon and castigate a partner by what the spouse comes online to say.
But does that solve the problem? Life is about cause and effect, something leads to another.

I don't do sympathy, it's for losers.
Analyze and find the cause, that way you are already half way through solving the problem.

If a man or woman was so bad in the first place, then one is to blame for still going ahead with that marriage.
Actually, the cause of these problems we see all over nairaland is as a result of desperation. People want to be called 'married' at all cost.

The quest to get married clouds peoples sense of reasoning.
I say it boldly that there are always signs to warn you before you get married. Most people ignore those signs and then come here to whine.

Life is not a fairy tale. Not every proposal for marriage has to be accepted.
I like the lady who said she turned down her husband twice till he worked on himself.

If you become unlucky and your perfect partner turns to a devil overnight then too bad.
Seek counseling from trained professional of if you are religious, turn to your religion for help or the law courts, whatever works for you.

maclatunji:

I wish we could test this theory out by getting the husband's side of the story.

if you hear the husband's version - the discrepancy would send you tail-spinning.....women, especially nigerian women, are expert liars when it comes to issues like this......

read this story -
https://www.nairaland.com/677092/silly-nigerian-kenyan-ambasador-beats-wife

the husband's version
https://www.nairaland.com/709754/former-nigerian-ambassador-kenya-chijioke

the son's version
https://www.nairaland.com/680718/nigerian-ambassador-kenya-sons-side

jonathan goodluck's decision
https://www.nairaland.com/785622/gej-reinstates-wife-beating-nigerian

i think anyone who comes online to read a one sided story and pass ridiculous judgements on threads like this should be sent to a psychiatric home....

I remember one thread, where a man came online to complain about the wife. Few pages later the wife came on to trounce his complaints. And she came out the victor. There was another one where a woman first complained, few pages later husband surfaced, everyone became endeared to the husband. So you see my dear, get with the program. You have to be really good like Eminem in 8 mile to attack first and still win.

Dont waste your time. Take your kids and money and leave. Your life is more important. If he really wants you back he will get a job repay you all the money he owes and sign a contract saying he will never hit you again or be abusive. If he does so again he needs to go to jail. You need to be tough on him for him to really show if he really intends on changing. If he doesnt change dont worry someone better is out there and even if they are not your role as a mother is the greatest thing you have and need to complete dont let him kill you

LadyT: Dont waste your time. Take your kids and money and leave. Your life is more important. If he really wants you back he will get a job repay you all the money he owes and sign a contract saying he will never hit you again or be abusive. If he does so again he needs to go to jail. You need to be tough on him for him to really show if he really intends on changing. If he doesnt change dont worry someone is out there

Shut ur trap. Na so dem dey leave? Marriage is nt a girlfriend and boyfriend thing. The woman should explore all avenues. call ur families and sort it out.
Someone is out there for a woman with 3 kids, Jst like dat? Only a fool will call dis trash an advice.

Gaggi:

Shut ur trap. Na so dem dey leave? Marriage is nt a girlfriend and boyfriend thing. The woman should explore all avenues. call ur families and sort it out.
Someone is out there for a woman with 3 kids, Jst like dat? Only a fool will call dis trash an advice.

It is not an indefinite prison sentence either. There is no point dying in silence all in the name of keeping up a charade of being mrs bla bla bla.
I think too many women, in the rush to join the marriage train, fail to see the warning signs in their men. Being single is not so bad... i would rather stay this way than be with someone i would hesitate to be around.

Po thang. ....

coogar:

if you hear the husband's version - the discrepancy would send you tail-spinning.....women, especially nigerian women, are expert liars when it comes to issues like this......

read this story -
https://www.nairaland.com/677092/silly-nigerian-kenyan-ambasador-beats-wife

the husband's version
https://www.nairaland.com/709754/former-nigerian-ambassador-kenya-chijioke

the son's version
https://www.nairaland.com/680718/nigerian-ambassador-kenya-sons-side

jonathan goodluck's decision
https://www.nairaland.com/785622/gej-reinstates-wife-beating-nigerian

i think anyone who comes online to read a one sided story and pass ridiculous judgements on threads like this should be sent to a psychiatric home....

This story was something else at the time. What is a little bit difficult for me to accept is that a couple who were supposed/believed to be on top of the world and head over heals in love on their wedding day become "devils" to each other a few years down the line. What exactly goes wrong in these marriages.

stay and raise future wife beaters.

Some men!!!!, i don't know why someone will come on this forum and be seeking for unnecessary advice, some women shaa!!!! he beats you, abuses you verbally, he is irresponsible, and all what not, what he contributes is his s/.p.e.rm and his last name......Ok....i will rest my case.

NB: A beast will always remain a beast....