Ivynwa:

@Lady Bluediva
Good to see that you wiped off the other posts directed at Durobraham.
@Durobraham it's okay dear

I added you guys to my contacts to speak to you offline but Bluediva seems to have done the right thing, I didn't realize that that was going on when I posted until I was about to leave the thread later. It's okay o Miss Duro. Chill dearie as Blue has chilled too (I don't even know why I am always protective of you when people run you down because of your single mother state yet I am not supporting you saying unpleasant stuffs to Blue too).

I didn't like the daggers being thrown around especially the single mother mockery part of it. There are just things we women should not use against each other because if a pregnant school girl comes to the forum seeking help we will all be touched and want to advise her----what's the point washing down another single lady who is holding her shoulder after her ordeal. The same us that will have good advise for our fellow women "don't abort", "be careful while making your choice of spouses", "don't let yourself be abused",the same us shouldn't mock our fellow women with some of us these problems unless we are not really giving these advices and solutions here with our hearts. Women let us be one another's keepers please. One love!

maclatunji: How does a woman who has been beaten black and blue "teach in love"?

slimyem: Wow!!!!
Some women are just so comfortable with nonsense..
Hian!

Siena:

I'm curious to see how Duke_Nija responds to this too.

maclatunji:

Women are real pieces of work!

BlueDiva: Curiosity got the better of me and i went through the posts of durothrash.
You are just a kid, spend your time wisely and build a decent life. I'm way out of your league.

Now let me school your dumb asss.



If a person claims his/her partner has changed and become a beast, first question to ask is why?
If he/she was a beast in the first instance then there wouldn't be a marriage in the first place.

If a good man/woman becomes bad, please do a serious soul search.
What went wrong? Could it be something I'm doing/not doing?


A nagging wife should expect resentment from her husband and ultimately, negative attitude.
A drunkard of a husband and a wife beater doesn't expect to still have a loving woman as a wife.

Now, if the man/woman is perfect and the spouse just changes for no reason (very unlikely) then it is unfortunate.
Blame your bad luck for marrying a devil and don't come whining on cyberspace.

A partner in an unhappy marriage has a choice of leaving or to stick in there.
Either way it is your cross. Coming online to claim Mr or Mrs Perfect married to a devil is disgusting.

You were not blind neither did you marry at gun point.

Go for counseling, therapy or whatever can help your solve your problems.
Coming to nairaland to seek advice from unmarried single mums like durothrash who still daydreams about the boy next door is hilarious and silly.

durobraham:

"these faults might be what is making the partner act the way they do" Really?! these virulently dumb trolls on nairaland.

BlueDiva:

What can i say? I'm now in the midst of adults.
Well, they say never bring a knife to a gun fight.



Yep, i spank with one hand and embrace with another.
It's all part of teaching kids some morals.

Ivynwa:
I agree that a woman getting abused should do some soul searching to know what went wrong yet nothing justifies abuse. The people saying that financial frustrations must be what is stressing the man are making a good point but if all men go home to beat down their wives because things are not working out good in their businesses the world will become a crazy place. Nobody should abuse another and nobody should tolerate being abused.

Busy_body: .

Hey BB! It's been a while, how're you keeping? My regards to your li'l boys.

maclatunji:

Respect her choice.

coogar:

but is it not surprising that this woman did not even admit any wrongdoing in her statement? how am i supposed to take such a one-sided story serious and pass judgements based on it? i agree no woman should be treated like crap but it's also imperative to tell the story in a way people can relate with it........this poster is not serious when she's ready to tell the cause of the abuse then she would get the solution she craves!

coogar:

may God bless you for this post!
watch out though, you would soon be tagged as an apologist of wife abusers!

Ivynwa:
The cause of the abuse? Nothing she tells us here that she does which may have contributed to the abuse justifies her husband beating and spitting on her. We know that there are the other sides of the story most times but there's nothing she will write here that will make the abuse she is getting accepted.

Now I don't want u to get in the mood you went in the other abuse thread, I d' rather have those your funny gif video clips that cracks me up, post a nice one for me pls. Have a nice day dear.

BlueDiva:

People enjoy looking for a scapegoat. It's the nature of man.
It takes willpower to be realistic and put sentiments aside and analyze things objectively.

It's actually easy to join the bandwagon and castigate a partner by what the spouse comes online to say.
But does that solve the problem? Life is about cause and effect, something leads to another.

I don't do sympathy, it's for losers.
Analyze and find the cause, that way you are already half way through solving the problem.

If a man or woman was so bad in the first place, then one is to blame for still going ahead with that marriage.
Actually, the cause of these problems we see all over nairaland is as a result of desperation. People want to be called 'married' at all cost.

The quest to get married clouds peoples sense of reasoning.
I say it boldly that there are always signs to warn you before you get married. Most people ignore those signs and then come here to whine.

Life is not a fairy tale. Not every proposal for marriage has to be accepted.
I like the lady who said she turned down her husband twice till he worked on himself.

If you become unlucky and your perfect partner turns to a devil overnight then too bad.
Seek counseling from trained professional of if you are religious, turn to your religion for help or the law courts, whatever works for you.

coogar:

if she can be cunning enough to leave the part where she did wrong then it's not out of place to think she might have exaggerated in her story to paint her husband black....in a nutshell, i find it very hard to believe this story!



i'm a rational human being - ask bluediva!

Siena:

Hey BB! It's been a while, how're you keeping? My regards to your li'l boys.

coogar:

end of discussion!
we need more women like you in this section

Ivynwa:

I wasn't saying that you are not, anybody that knows the perfect video clip to dish out at the perfect time is super rational.
I will come and check out the gif you will post for me later . Cheerio.

Busy_body:


Taking notes from the sidelines and trying to suss out what Maclatunji also makes out of this ladylike comment that set off the cat amongst the pigeons. And oh, i bet he was one of those that "liked" it too Nairaland, I have seen it all





Oh lawd, mercy me from this ribshurt.

Now how do i wipe this perma-grin off my face

Busy_body: how is your DeltanQueen and your two lil princesses? I bet they are good too

They're still Brown, hehehe.

slimyem: Isn't that what i just did by not saying too much?

maclatunji:

Hey! Don't you want to be a lady? More appropriately: Aren't you a lady? Ladies are #Cool. Leave durobraham alone. The operational definition of a lady she gave is on point.



There are so many points from different people on this thread- quite interesting.

Siena:

They're still Brown, hehehe.

Ivynwa:
Mr. Mac you seem to be feeling real cool this morning ,
Women ain't pieces of work, we women make the world go round. Better believe it.
There simply ain't any world without us. Now roger that.

Busy_body:

As if you had to ask, ouch, somebody hold me back


Now who wants to be a woman in this manly skewed world! What's in it for a lady huh

coogar:

wow - i gained a fan!

maclatunji:

It's so true. That's why you're pieces of work. I know I will never figure you lot completely out even if I live for a thousand years.




I am fine, could be better though. You're right, I am rather relaxed this morning. If I don't do so, I might do damage later on in the day. Someone crossed the wrong lines with me this morning, I am hoping to keep cool.

I hope/trust you're good too.

stillwater: @OP

Why are you complaining? Don't you know you have to be the reason why you are dealt with? Search yourself, you probably stopped doing something right. From experience, the person who cries wolf first is usually the culprit, and only seeks to throw a pity party. Try as much much as possible to be the other side of the story. People are more endearing to that. So bottle it inside for now. From research, most men are the ones being abused. So what's the likelihood your story is true? I doubt it.

maclatunji:

I wish we could test this theory out by getting the husband's side of the story.