Please disregard my earlier comment! I now know how to solve your 'problem'!

Go to any of those buses where they hawk traditional medicine and root and herbs. Ask for mustard seed.
i know because the guy selling 'em told me it can cure asthma, HIV, tooth ache, piles, staph etc.
he didn't specifically say it'll make you fat, but since he said it also does breast and penis enlargement, fatting up your frame should be a shoo-in. . .

You dont need to be fat by force. I'd say to relax and allow nature take its course.
By the time u're married and have kids you'd wish you were slim again.

An example: my uncle used to date this law school chic . . . Christ! She was so conspicous for her skinny figure.   We used to tease my uncle no end, she had no butt at all, no hips, no boobs, just a tiny sack of bones with a big head.  

He stuck with her for 4 yrs and they eventually got married, today you wont believe she's the same girl of 7yrs ago. She's got big not fat (she has 2 kids now), and she's so so fine, she filled out in just the right proportions now everyone pats my uncle on the back for snagging such a cute likkle woman. Nice full hips too  

@topic,
trust me hun, I was lepa to the core before i got to canada and if u see me now . . . u'll be surprised. Even ma mama came over and she wouldn't believe it was me. All ma friends from back home saw ma pics and thought maybe i just had a baby.

Not only did I put on the weight but ma bum and boobies just sprouted out. What was the casue of all these? I was eating too much junk. I wouldn't cook . . all i did was go out and eat Mcdonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Enuff burgers, KFCs, pizza, sodas, etc. try eating all these every day, morning afternoon and night for 1 week and watch out for the difference.
I ate all these without knowing the consequence tho. I stopped it now and been going to the gym. . Not to lose weight but to reduce the body fat. I love the new me and I am so curvy now.

Secondly, u might want to go on the pills (birth control). It does make you crave for food a lot, thereby gaining weight. Not everybody have that side effect tho, but at least 85% of women on the pill tend to add weight.

texazzpete:

So now, not only am i not a 'mr universe' kind of guy, i've developed a li'l belly
to be fair, i'm prolly too lazy to gym

I was too lazy to go to the gym until i saw the remarkable transformation it had on my brother. The guy used to be jokingly labeled a woman because of his excessive baby fat (he had breasts at a stage) . . . today he is a fit 175lb hunk! I didnt need a second invitation to the gym.

@texazzpete

what are u on about dipstick?!

@ busta, i dont think junk food makes your boobs sprout. There are fat people with no boobs at all.

I'd say cut out the junk food and sodas. You're not too young to be health conscious, i watch my blood pressure weekly . . . you may be clogging ur arteries without you knowing.

Birth control pills? she'd be twice her size in a few weeks. Abeg Gamine u're ok as u are.

Most fat people have their brains clogged up. Most fat people show indiscipline. Some of them eat almost every and anywhere. Some even in the toilet-Chewing gums right there. Marriage-wise, they don’t give a good first impression to a prospective ‘ ‘.Most men dread unnecessarily fat women and I wonder if an employer will do less. Slim is good. The world is sliming down, phones, cars jobs and you still want to be fat. I pity you oh.
Kaycee

Gemine!!!!!!!!!!!!!  is that your picture i just saw in your profile

If that is you, then i comment my reserve, lol,lol,lol!!!!

Is the birth control pill also recommended for males who want to add weight?

the secret of getting fat
does not just depend on
what u eat alone but add
whatever u eat with rest of
mind, happiness and less stress

you are too young to worry about being skinny-

when you start working, more likely than not you will find yourelf in a SEDENTARY lifestyle, with no way to burn the junk food you eat for breakfast, and lunch ( 90% of vi workers do not see the sun rise or set during the week) - and before you know it, you'll be starting a diff thread - how do i lose this weight?!

when i was in school, i worked out regularly. i also engaged in a lot of fat burning activities( na envionment cause am - fetching water - chasing buses any weight i put on during the break would vanish within a weekof resuming at school) for my first three years of employment i burnt a lot on energy chasing danfo. i also spent the MINIMUNM amount on food . after 6 months at my current employer - i put on weight. i actully fopund that 90% of my trousers were too tight. it was a very bad time for my ego, since i'm used to people admiring my frame. everyone who met me commented on how much weight i had put on. malaria to the rescue! i had a particularly nasty bout in which i did not eat for three days, and the fat disappeared. I'm not sure i couls have burnt it ( i don't even do my moring exercises anymore - i keep telling myself i will, and when i do, i only keep it up for a week - . my muscles are still there, but their definition isn't

anyway the long and short of this is that you will almost certainly put on weight if you snag a high paying job in lagos ( and i'm sure that is already in the works, innit?)

texazzpete:

At last! The obligatory retard shows up!

@gamine
hmm. . .so now you want the 'attackers' and 'defenders' added abi? That'd be a sight.
Seriously, i once prayed hard to be fat so i could then gym and get all muscular and powerful. When i started getting plumper all the bloody fat went to my stomach.
So now, not only am i not a 'mr universe' kind of guy, i've developed a li'l belly


to be fair, i'm prolly too lazy to gym

heh heh, i hope u ain't being er. . .judicious with your adjectives

texazzpete:

Please disregard my earlier comment! I now know how to solve your 'problem'!

Go to any of those buses where they hawk traditional medicine and root and herbs. Ask for mustard seed.
i know because the guy selling 'em told me it can cure asthma, HIV, tooth ache, piles, staph etc.
he didn't specifically say it'll make you fat, but since he said it also does breast and privates enlargement, fatting up your frame should be a shoo-in. . .

LOLOLOLOL OMG!

i didn't know others had noticed the new '21 killer diseases' medicine. it is now mustard seed. boarded one eko transport bus one day (havent done so in a while, and it was the only one going my way + ok this should be fun, right?)

then this guy gets up and produces mustard seed as the solution to all 'home-breakers', i.e. thrid parties in your marriage. "just say psalm 35 over the seed and put in your bedroom" eh? laff wan kill me that day

please don't o! only God knows what mixture they parade as mustard seed.

ya know, anxiety can also contribute to inability to add weight. maybe you're trying too hard.

Pringles, Crisps, Doughnuts, Coke, Buttery or mayonnaise filled sandwiches, burgers, Fried foods like greasy chicken, stews, e.t.c.

Don't do any exercise and before you sleep, drink malt and milk.

Hugoboi:

Is the birth control pill also recommended for males who want to add weight?

Yes

don't start complaining when ur boobies starts to ache

4Him:

@ busta, i don't think junk food makes your boobs sprout. There are fat people with no boobs at all.

I'd say cut out the junk food and sodas. You're not too young to be health conscious, i watch my blood pressure weekly . . . you may be clogging your arteries without you knowing.

Birth control pills? she'd be twice her size in a few weeks. Abeg Gamine u're ok as u are.

just an advice, she is the one that wants to pack on the weight

. . . . . besides, i don't eat junks anymore, don't even eat out again. I eat healthy now.

Move to Philadelphia, USA. You should attain your goal weight in about a month or so.

aaah
see advices ohhh

Texazzpete,
i think u know i know how u look like
only u go suggest mustard seed

Busta,
birth control??
do i have to try to get preggie
believe me i aint trying to go that far
not desperate o

but Lolaeva gets me.
cos when shopping
size matters

Anyways like i said, i need a lil flesh on me
but i do feel positive now that it seems like
marriage will solve my wahala.

So, its gona be

OPERATION; I MUST GET HUSBAND or
OPERATION; WEDDING 2010

BEST OPTION:

1. Go to your village start eating cocoa yam. Eat and eat and eat it.
2. You should start eating strong fufu three square meal with bitterleaf soup
3. Stop wagging, if you no fit hold body at least once a month
4. If there is no improvement don't hesitate to consult me for further instructions

Likpa get grade, though i don't know your size to start with

if ure slim and the cocacola shape is der,
then my sister, u dont have any probs.

Pls, disregard Busta's prescriptions.
we want u lepa with the contours.
thats all

Hey G,
I think it's safe to say fattening cannot be attained without at least eating three square meals a day. So 101, 001, 011 just wouldn't cut it.

Now in Nigeria, there is a tribe in Cross river including some areas of Akwa ibom known for its cultural fattening rite into marriage. I don't suppose you belong to such groups because either your mum would have introduced you to this or one of your relatives. However, below is a BBC news report on this practice.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/6904640.stm

As for me though, my woman has to be moderately fat ONLY in the right areas----like a nice phatty behind (No cellulite---ughhhh, gross!!! ). I wouldn't want to roll over in bed noticing a hefty line backer-looking lady just snoring her heart out next to me. That will definitely not be a good morning.

So if you want to be fat just in time for marriage, get on the Calabar diet with lots of meat like isam( periwinkle), (the other meat----i just wouldn't go there  ) and eat lots of starchy foods. Take care.

LOL

coca cola shape?
iv actually been called that

hmm

The solution still seems to be marriage

I no this my homeboy who practically exploded in the space of a week or so, and am very serious about this. The docs said d guy had som kinda MoonFace syndrome or some medical condition like dat, he got so fat he almost became bed-ridden before d docs came to his rescue. So if u wanna get fat overnight u suggest u find out of to get that Moonface syndrome u will get fat for sure.

But my sincere advise to u will be stay as u are, after seeing ur pic i think a trip to Doctor 90210(plastic surgeon) shud be higher in ur scale of preference than gettin fat.

LMAO

yeah yeah

i know

laff at me o!

That Moon face syndrome would be Cushing's Syndrome (named after Dr. Harvey Cushing) caused by an anomaly of the adrenal or pituitary gland consequent to the excess release of cortisol in the blood.

This is a gladular disorder leading to weight gain amongst other symptoms.

And unless this nah your problem (which i seriously doubt), then moon face or pie face it is for you----with of course the weight gain you seek for.


Goodness God!!!!!!, what's up with that picture on your profile?

LOL

My mamma like me!

About the disease, you guys are goin too far

Victoria Adams used to be fat and she had some disease like that
it was diagnosed and treated now she is thin

i dont want any form of syndrome abeg o
na how u pple take wicked reach!!
nawa oooo!

Dang!! I cant believe sumone actually recommended birf control pills for me !! How the heck am I gonna walk into a prescription store asking for that.Whoeva the store keeper is,will prolly think i'm high on crack
Na wa f ;Dor Nairalanders.So much for seeking advice!!

lol

dnt mind them
but you can ask smone to buy for you

@Gamine

you are not alone. . .
i reali have to put on some weight. . .faaaasstt,

someone recommended like 5 bottles of malt and milk everyday for 2 weeks would do it. .

5 bottles?? isnt that a lil too much? well i think i'll try it. . see wat happens. .

@ op
why the one week time frame? Do you have a pagaent or something coming up?
most of the get-fat-quick methods will clog your poor heart!
Why do you need more blubber? Are you relocating to alaska?

but Lolaeva gets me.
because when shopping
size matters

Abi ooo. What frustrates me more is when you don't see your size in the shops. I shop in the teenage section and I'm not even a teenager. I just want curves not fat ooo

@gamine

u wan fat eh? we many for this club o. Na elephant remain make i chop to get fat but for where.

Abeg check www.fastmusclegain.com

Dem sey na lack of sleep be my problem sha.

The solution still seems to be marriage

The options are der for u to pick.
u know what im saying

@JK
na wa for u ooo . Thats too much

@Elgaxton
Elephant? lmao!!

@ Gamine

honey, i noticed that indeed u are indeed a skinny one but next time u go to the UK for the hols, spend ur whole day at mcdonald's, eating all those fries and burgers and u will get there in no time. better still come visit me in da states and i can help ya out