tpia1:


the statement in question wasnt directed at you.

i already mentioned before, i consider the thread a product of low IQ.

Na today nlers dey open s.tupid threads?

in any case, the poster could have used the search function if he wasnt being intentionally d.aft.

Well, we are all going to the promise land, and I believe that one day we will all get there no matter who is miles ahead or behind lol

^check the op's post history anyway.

just one of these jobless nlers, as i suspected before.

his/imagination runs away with him or her, it seems.

i'm sure the person has also replied him or herself multiple times on this thread.

SELFWORTH:


I agree poster. Based on the gutter postings on NL, I would say 98% not 88%

Can you imagine? I wouldn't call them gutter people tho

tpia1:

are you serious?

being from a two parent home means someone cant be loose?

where did you get that from?

Of course single parents are less watchful over kids cos a single parent is definitely always busier. How do you want me to explain it.

quin9:

Am with u on this!,and jus to add,what advise can such woman give her daughter when troubles arise?(marriage is NEVER all rossy)

But is it?

stpat1:

Of course single parents are less watchful over kids cos a single parent is definitely always busier. How do you want me to explain it.

maybe, maybe not.

but how would you view parents who work round the clock and are rarely home?

stpat1:

Of course single parents are less watchful over kids cos a single parent is definitely always busier. How do you want me to explain it.

I beg your pardon? Are you serious right now or you're just confused?

A girl from a broken home requires error -free-
inspections carried out by you keepng love behind to discover how much the separation has dealt with her pshyco. Look before you leap cos she may also make a good wife learning from her parents mistakes.

tpia1:

then he should fall out of love if her background is a problem for him.

na by force?

or advertise that he is looking for only girls from un-broken homes. Am sure he will have more than enough to choose from including Aliens,

Let me summarize it this way for you:

Any girl whose mum did runs, was abusive, kept numerous married boyfrieds, had kids for more than one man while separated/kids by a man other than the husband while married,was widowed more than twice,sees men as a tool for riches, very materialistic and is all about money and gifts or was a mistress to someone else's husband after separation is a very BIG warning signal. Especially if the girl sees nothing wrong with it.

Any guy whose father has numerous girlfriends, wives, doesn't take care of responsibilities,abusive, criminal past, addictive personality and fast life. Especially if he sees this trait as part of being a man, and hails his dad, its best you forget your shoes and run away!

coogar:

low iq?
op asked a good question - is it safe to marry women from broken homes or abusive homes?

You mean, you think broken homes and abusive homes are one and the same? What is your IQ again?

dBard:

U sir are a Goat. I'll not descend t Ur level t insult ones family but its obvious hw good a job dey did wit u considering ur reply. Idiots like u r d type dat speak a good game but will make f d nearest hill wen confronted wit such. maladjusted waste product of watery sperm..

Another gutter mouth on NL and this one has a low IQ too. If not , how can you generalise that all girls from broken home are a particular way. Empty barrels make the most noise.

You are silly man. Sorry to say

Nashville:

You have said the truth. I will advice the poster to really find out the cause of divorce and the relationship between the parents. If they still hate each other and have used their children to get at each other then you must be very careful.

Yes, because Children from that kind of background DO NOT DESERVE to be married or happy in Marriages . . . the Children have a fault in their being used by their parents in that case, abi? ??

Nashville:
I tell you, you cannot underestimate the kind of filth the mother will have told her daughter about men in general. Some of these girls hate their fathers and may take these out on their husbands. Such girls become extremely defensive and they will resolve not to take any rubbish from any man so that they dont go through what their mother went through.

Yes, a helpless child is fed nonsense by the mother, and so does not deserve to be considered for marriage at all . . . even if she has be a model citizen all her adult life, she deserves to be threated like bad goods . . . right?

Nashville:
Family background matters a lot. I know of several such cases where girls from broken homes have bad marriages. Some of them dont even know what a good marriage is like so they do not know how to achieve one.

Yes, family background matters because you are to blame when your father and mother fight/separate or divorce . . . Yes, innocent children around the world who were abandoned are also to blame, right?? Give yourself, and the mother that raised you to think as you do 10 gold stars please.

@OP:

No, it does not matter. Still not convinced?

Ok, let's get trendy. Obama's parents were seperated, he spent part of his childhood with a stepfather in Indonesia. I'm sure you know he just got "four more years" to stay in the white house.

The thing is "NOBODY CHOSE TO COME FROM A BROKEN HOME". If your parents are still together, lucky you. But you didn't choose for them to be together.

If you love that lady and she's really cool as you said, this should not be a barrier. Broken home is not hereditary. At least no one has proven that scientifically.

X-factoria:

If you love that lady and she's really cool as you said, this should not be a barrier. Broken home is not hereditary. At least no one has proven that scientifically.

In my eyes, this bloke will be nothing but a burden to that woman.

@Poster, please leave that woman alone . . . she deserves a man better than you. She had probably suffered mental and emotion abuse being from an abused home. The last thing she most likely needs for the second part of her life is to be with a man who gives her more anguish for issues she had no part in in the first part of her life. The last thing someone from a broken home needs is a silly person that has made his/herself judge and jury over those from broken homes and has decided that they(women that grow up in such homes) are GUILTY. You are better off going to find yourself a woman from a non-broken home since you seem convinced that they make better wives for your ilk. Please set this current woman free abeg . . . there is a better man for her out there . . . you are not it.

myboo: I'm currently faced with this guys

What do you think about marrying a chic from a broken home (ie her father and mother are separated)?

Does it really have a significant effect on the children?

The chic in question is actually cool character-wise and she is a christian.

Your views would be appreciated cos i need to take a decision ASAP

Thx

@Poster
The urgency with which the views of others were sought and your saying that you need to take a decision ASAP is distasteful so if people tell you here that a girl from a broken home is no good----you will drop her like hot potato. We are not there in the relationship with you to know what type of person she is. It isn't her fault that her parents did not agree enough to stay together and we don't even know why the parents are broken as to begin to judge it down on her. The views of others isn't what your decision should depend on.

A greater percentage of people that I have come across who are from broken homes are very passionate about having an unbroken marriage yet that is not enough to make a decision upon because there are still another percentage out there that don't feel like that. It is all about the person. The fact that your own parents are still together doesn't make a saint out of you-----BTW there are marriages that have plenty abuse and violence and the couples in it are even better off apart but just sticking it out for what people will say or because one party does not have the courage to stand on his or her own. If somebody like you that is depending on the views of others come across an offspring of the latter marriages. Guess you will consider her fit for marriage because her violent/abuse parents are unbroken and still together (not that that defines such to me).

The stuff that goes on in the life of one's parents does not define a person.

SELFWORTH:

You mean, you think broken homes and abusive homes are one and the same? What is your IQ again?

my iq is 5 multiplied by the age of your mother, you homoerotic bastard!!! what's the difference between a broken marriage and an abusive one? they are all dysfunctional!

@OP....

IT'S A GOOD QUESTION, AND THIS IS JUST ONE OF THOSE ISSUES YOU NEED TO CONSIDER BEFORE SETTLING DOWN WITH A GUY/LADY IN MARRIAGE BUT I DON'T SEE NAIRALAND AS THE BEST OPTION FOR YOU. SO MANY COUNTER COMMENTS HERE, BUT YOUR QUESTION IS JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS AND I DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT.

FOR THOSE NAILING THE OP AS A DUMB-ASS OR SILLY PERSON ASKING SILLY QUESTION, WELL YOU HAVE YOUR OWN PERSPECTIVE AND PREFERENCE TO LIFE, DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS, BESIDES EVERY MAN IS ENTITLED TO HIS/HER OWN OPINION. MANY PEOPLE ARE JUST FAKE AND DON'T HAVE INSIGHTS TO WHAT IT TAKES AND THINGS TO BE CONSIDERED BEFORE MARRIAGE, OR MAYBE THEY ARE JUST BEING HYPOCRITES WHO TENDS TO JOIN THE FLOWS RATHER THAN SEEING THINGS FROM THE RIGHT AND DIFFERENT ANGLES TO OTHERS AND DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG IN PARENTAL BACKGROUND OR CHILD'S UPBRINGING OR MAYBE THEY THEMSELVES ARE BY-PRODUCTS OF SUCH HOMES AND THAT HAS BECLOUDED THEIR REASONING FACULTY OF JUDGEMENT AND CAN'T FORESEE WHAT WOULD BE THE CONSEQUENCES OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEIR ACTIONS BEFORE MARRIAGE.

OP, YOU NEED TO DISCUSS THINGS AT LENGTH WITH YOUR GIRL, ASK HER QUESTIONS AND EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT HER FAMILY AND THE SEPARATION OF HER PARENTS, REMEMBER A STITCH IN TIME SAVES NINE. DON'T RUSH INTO MARRYING SOMEONE YOU WOULD END UP REGRETTING OUT OF SELF-PITY OR LOVE.

DO YOUR DUE DILIGENCE, ALWAYS LOOK WELL BEFORE YOU LEAP. DON'T STOP LOVING HER, BUT WORK ON HER AND FIND OUT IF SHE'S REALLY THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE FOR YOU, SOMEONE WHO'S GONNA BE THE MOTHER OF YOUR UNBORN KIDS AND SPEND THE FOREVER WITH YOU WITHOUT ALLOWING HER BROKEN HOME EXPERIENCES AFFECT HER LIFE OR MARRIAGE WITH YOU IN ANY WAY.

CONCLUSIVELY,CONSULT GOD THROUGH FASTING AND PRAYERS. IF YOU CAN'T SEE THINGS YOURSELF, YOUR PASTOR (SPIRITUALLY GIFTED) IS YOUR BEST FRIEND IN A CASE LIKE THIS. IT IS WELL.

HAPPY SUNDAY TO U'ALL.

Have it in mind you building a home, and no home built with GOD as the care taker would ever fall. Pray without season.

My spouse's parent separated when she was barely 8 years old.

She tried hiding from me because (according to her) she thought she will loose me if I get to know.

But for me, I was "too in love" with her to care whether or not she grew-up with both parents.

I later got to meet her parents(now my in-laws) I discovered they where very nice people but very incompartable with one another(NB: their marraige was arranged)

The bottom line is that my spouse has developed herself so well; that part of her life is no longer an issue.

So OP if you love her well enough, please follow your mind!!!

jidegirl12:

I beg your pardon? Are you serious right now or you're just confused?

I wonder why its so hard for you understand this simple logic. I lived in a neighbourhood with kids and friends from both situation. I have friend that were being taken care of by single parents. When were always free to go and do what they liked right from when school closes till when their mum or Dad closes and comes home in the night. All the parents needed to do was ensure there was food in the fridge for them when they get back from school or the others family gives money for lunch. I know how the females ones amongst them also fared. They were more exposed to different stuffs to early as expected when growing up is such situation where there is little or no supervision.

Even the ones whose parents remarried didn't fare too differently because I notice their step mum was always very careful not to make them feel unloved and by this always let them have their way. Unlike other kids with both parents. Others have to live with their grand parents cos they were not comfortable with their step parents and you know grand parents are not usually wary or strong enough to instill the needed discipline and lessons of life to these kids.

I hope with this I've not confused you the more.

Oga sir make i giv u the clue fro experience at wat age was she wen they separated if she s stil at a single number forget about it secondly on wat basis do the parent sepated if its based on adultery forget about it and who is at fault if its the mum pls forget the stuff lastly who is staying wit if its the mum then look away further.

Where did all these freaks come from with their "work on her, do your due diligence" rubbish. Like the lady in question is damaged goods and must be improved upon. What is wrong with loving and accepting people as they are. We are all a product of our experiences and environment and shaped by these. So we are to be judged by every negative thing that we've been through in order to be deemed worthy Utter madness. The Op has said she is a cool person so what more does he need to know? What sort of family does he come from himself, the arrogant p-r-i-c-k? As some have said, the lady should be the one ditch his sorry ass, otherwise she will be entering into a potentially abusive union because i would bet my last penny that he will not fail to treat her like he did her a favour by marrying her despite the fact that she is from a broken home and act like she should be grateful that he decided to manage her. Emotional abuse if you ask me.
On one other thread, some ladies were asking about signs to look out for when trying to determine a potential abuser, if any of you ladies are on this thread, here's one. Some like the Op and other supporters who look for ways to denigrate a woman for reasons such as the one the OP is asking about, will most likely abuse their partners in the long run.

Kobojunkie:

Yes, because Children from that kind of background DO NOT DESERVE to be married or happy in Marriages . . . the Children have a fault in their being used by their parents in that case, abi? ??

Yes, a helpless child is fed nonsense by the mother, and so does not deserve to be considered for marriage at all . . . even if she has be a model citizen all her adult life, she deserves to be threated like bad goods . . . right?

Yes, family background matters because you are to blame when your father and mother fight/separate or divorce . . . Yes, innocent children around the world who were abandoned are also to blame, right?? Give yourself, and the mother that raised you to think as you do 10 gold stars please.

You are not only brainless, you are also ill-mannered and exceptionally rude. No need to insult anybody's mother here, it just shows the kind of rot in your brain. But I have to say it is very typical of you.

The poster asked a simple question, you have made no attempt to answer. He never asked if children were to blame for divorce cases or separation or if they should or should not be given a chance in life which is what you are answering. I don't know whether or not you are able to read at all.

What some people here including myself have adviced him is to be careful. He should check how big an impact the divorce has had on her and if it has had a huge impact if he is willing to deal with some of the issues that may come as a result of the divorce. Nobody ever said all children from divorced homes can never be wife materials. I have spoken from experiences I have seen in some cases of children from divorced homes.

As I said before, you clearly are unable to read, to think and act rationally. I cannot imagine you are married because from your conduct on this forum, I cannot imagine any human being (male or female) able to put up with your thoughtless arguements!

fairygeh: It doesnt matter.its her character that is important and such people learn from their parent's mistakes and tend not to follow the path that led to their parent's broken homes.

My experience exactly; my mum is from a 'broken home' but she's been married once and for the past 35+ years. Married a virgin and has stayed with my father faithfully till this very day.

Character is it!

Nashville:


You are not only brainless, you are also ill-mannered and exceptionally rude. No need to insult anybody's mother here, it just shows the kind of rot in your brain. But I have to say it is very typical of you.

Gosh man! Don't you know the mean of sarcasm?!

Why are people so quick to judge huh?

@op you have asked a simple question and the answer if u sought God's direction in the first place and if you truly love her go ahead.but what happened to breaking curses and leaving no stones unturned before getting married to someone? All these things are attending realities you have to deal with no matter what background you are from whether broken or unbroken, you see we wont have too many problems with a process if we do the first things first, people overlook most of these things and they affect our lives a great deal. Don't forget that healing(in this case psychological) has a process and you must be mature enough to handle it(what u dont have u cant give) or refer her to a counselor in a loving manner. Now depending on who she is and how much she loves you she will be willing to experience a good marriage with you, every woman wants that. Pls no matter how damaged her family is don't deteriorate into judging her and if u cant but do that then let her move on but don't forget that everyone need some kind of healing and deserved to be considered even you. And nairalanders don't forget we re all products of our environments whether at large or in bits,most people speaking in favor or against the girl in question lets balance our words with a solution.. the op simply wants a ways out, I have offered mine.

If she ok by u den go ahead bt if u r a chrixtian take her to a pastor for deliverance incase its a generational sturf.

Nashville: You are not only brainless, you are also ill-mannered and exceptionally rude. No need to insult anybody's mother here, it just shows the kind of rot in your brain. But I have to say it is very typical of you.

Oh you feel insulted by me but you don't feel you insulted people from broken homes by posting the tripe you did there earlier. Strange . . it is non-insulting when you do it to others but when they hit you right back you feel the hell has been poured on you right? Typical Nigerian dingbat!

Nashville:
The poster asked a simple question, you have made no attempt to answer. He never asked if children were to blame for divorce cases or separation or if they should or should not be given a chance in life which is what you are answering. I don't know whether or not you are able to read at all.

As usual, it is OK to pretend YOU and YOU alone have answered the question . . . never mind the fact that you did not really answer the question but instead made generalizations (UNFOUNDED by the way) of people from broken homes in your attemt there to sound like yet another educated Nigerian dingbat with no brain.

Nashville:
What some people here including myself have adviced him is to be careful. He should check how big an impact the divorce has had on her and if it has had a huge impact if he is willing to deal with some of the issues that may come as a result of the divorce. Nobody ever said all children from divorced homes can never be wife materials. I have spoken from experiences I have seen in some cases of children from divorced homes.

Careful about what? Cause people from broken homes are like lepers? Cause they have some sort of disease that those in the general populace do not have? I mean what are you suggesting he should be careful of that you have EVIDENCE of? People from broken homes carry some sort of disease that spreads divorce or bad marriage? they are cursed because their parents decided to separate or get a divorce? They are bad luck? Which one? What evidence?

How does the impact of divorce(likely painful, sometimes devastating for them)on kids stop them from going on to be good people in society, great wives/husbands and doing better in their own lives? I mean where is your evidence for this connection you are desperately trying to create here? What experiences are you rambling about? Who is it that you now that got a divorce simply because his/her parents did? Who?? Where do you these people live?? Please tell us their names so we can know that you are not in fact posting brain farts as evidence on what you are ignorant of.

Nashville:
As I said before, you clearly are unable to read, to think and act rationally. I cannot imagine you are married because from your conduct on this forum, I cannot imagine any human being (male or female) able to put up with your thoughtless arguements!

Unable to read brain-fart that suggests that people from broken homes do worse in marriage? Are you kidding me? Do you realize how disconnected from rational world you are with each post?

Look who thinks another is thoughtless . . . one bold enough to indict children, and sentence them to a miserable future simply because their parents are separated . . . seriously is denial a hobby of yours or something?

shaybe baby: Where did all these freaks come from with their "work on her, do your due diligence" rubbish. [size=14pt]Like the lady in question is damaged goods and must be improved upon. What is wrong with loving and accepting people as they are. We are all a product of our experiences and environment and shaped by these. So we are to be judged by every negative thing that we've been through in order to be deemed worthy Utter madness. The Op has said she is a cool person so what more does he need to know? What sort of family does he come from himself, the arrogant p-r-i-c-k? As some have said, the lady should be the one ditch his sorry ass, otherwise she will be entering into a potentially abusive union because i would bet my last penny that he will not fail to treat her like he did her a favour by marrying her despite the fact that she is from a broken home and act like she should be grateful that he decided to manage her. Emotional abuse if you ask me.[/size]
On one other thread, some ladies were asking about signs to look out for when trying to determine a potential abuser, if any of you ladies are on this thread, here's one. Some like the Op and other supporters who look for ways to denigrate a woman for reasons such as the one the OP is asking about, will most likely abuse their partners in the long run.

This is why I will vote for castration if it were put forth. Africa is already filled with enough eejits . . . we don't need more of these morons procreating and spreading their useless DNA about for pete's sake. Just when you think Education is here to save the day, you realize that that eejit DNA in some of these people has more power than you initially thought. These things are really arrogant dingbats!

Kobojunkie:

This is why I will vote for castration if it were put forth. Africa is already filled with enough eejits . . . we don't need more of these morons procreating and spreading their useless DNA about for pete's sake. Just when you think Education is here to save the day, you realize that that eejit DNA in some of these people has more power than you initially thought. These things are really arrogant dingbats!

Makes my blood boil, some of these geezers coming online to propagate their filth. They should be locked up and the females who pander to their line of reasoning should be locked with them. With these people, they have redefined common sense because it is uncommon to them. Lack of empathy found in them reduces them to little more than animals.