i don't get it, why should someone see service as a punishment even something as little as food.....i mean the main idea of marriage is to serve each other isn't it? there is no law that says a woman must serve her hubby's meals and there is no law that says if she does it she ll automatically become a slave....so whats the problem here?

We are talking NIGERIAN MALES, not the normal males.
You have to be a SLAVE to prove your SICK love.
Come and take! Make AH tish you sointin!

Highest, I help you make Eba or boil rice for you.
If you nor fit to go take your own soup/meat from pot. . . .make you suffer impotence!
I nor send.

LADIES!!!! THIS IS A TRAP!!!! NA SO ABUSE DEY TAKE START!!!! THE DAY YOU DO NOT SERVE, NA SLAP TOZAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Don't START to serve o! NA SEE FINISH BE DAT!

TRAIN YOUR MEN TO COOK AND SERVE YOU INSTEAD!!!!

ki ni e le yi so?shey u dey my side or u dey support kobo??

[CHocolaTE:
]

You don't have to respond to these men saying you have anger issues.
You are arguing against their beliefs that women should be foot-mats that is why they are looking for different ways to attack you.

sleekch1c: lots of super-dumb comments. women,serving him food wnt secure him,a dog is a dog even when u dress him in designer clothes.
nigerian men,empty vessels with delusion of grandeur

Tell them! God bless you for this comment.

I ve been appreaciting my wife more these days after joining family section, thank God i did nt fall into d hands of any hawks, i pity future husbands. To do questiong, We onced had a maid & my wife never allow her to near her kitchen, my wife derives pleasure in cooking & serving her husband & my daughter must do same, dats d discpline i wil instil in her. I dont knw otherwise.

sleekch1c: lots of super-dumb comments. women,serving him food wnt secure him,a dog is a dog even when u dress him in designer clothes.
nigerian men,empty vessels with delusion of grandeur

You couldn't put it any better a man that's going to cheat would cheat whether he lives within 10 miles of no women or not. We have been using Au-pairs over the last 7 years and nothing happened and generally Au-pairs are young and very attractive foreigners, The first one was a very old lady after we interviewed so many young ladies but my wife opt for an old lady but I couldn't complain but the old lady couldn't withstand the school runs and she had to leave we have some Spanish speaking Au-pairs, The kids love her and she is very attractive but I know my boundaries.

Eleyi abi oro min? This place don turn to battle ground, this is a serious matter o!

Shinatu: I wonder why people think having your husband 'snatched' is the worst thing that can happen to the woman?

Case of soured grapes.

ow to make Egusi Soup

Ingredients

Egusi (Melon) seeds - 3 cigar cups | 600g
Red Palm Oil – 2 cooking spoons
Beef – Best cut and Shaki (cow tripe)
Fish – Dry Fish and Stock Fish
Crayfish
Pepper and Salt to taste
Vegetable – Pumpkin leaves or Bitter leaf
Seasoning – 3 Maggi or Knorr cubes
Traditional Seasoning – 1 Okpei (optional)
Tools I used

Cooker: Buy it in USA | in UK
Deep Pot: Buy it in USA | in UK
Spice grinder for grinding egusi (melon) seeds: Buy it in USA | in UK
Spatula: Buy it in USA | in UK
Chopping board: Buy it in USA | in UK
Knives: Buy it in USA | in UK
Before you cook Egusi Soup

Before preparing the soup, soak the dry fish for about half an hour. Boil the stockfish for 20 minutes and leave in the pot with the hot water to soak for about an hour.
Much closer to your cooking time, grind the Egusi with a dry mill. Grind the crayfish and the dry pepper separately and set aside. Wash the vegetable to be used. Cut into tiny pieces.
Boil the shaki, stock fish and dry fish in 1 litre of water till they are well done. First sign of a done shaki is that the cuts will start curling on itself.
Wash the beef to be used for the soup and place in a pot and start steaming at medium heat. There is no need to add water at this stage. When the meat is done, add 3 cubes of Maggi/Knorr. This method makes the meat cook faster while retaining all the taste. Also meat contains lots of water and you will notice that the water content increases as the meat starts to boil.
Cooking Directions

There are two main methods of cooking egusi soup. These we will call oil before egusi and egusi before oil. Confusing? Not.
Oil Before Egusi

Put 2 cooking spoons of red palm oil into a dry pot and set on the stove to heat. As soon as the oil is clearer, add the ground egusi and start frying. This should be done at low heat to avoid burning. Keep frying till you see the egusi getting drier. One sign of this is that it will start sticking to the bottom of the pot.
Now, start adding the shaki/fish stock little by little while still turning the egusi. When the stock is exhausted and you feel that the soup is still too thick, you can add more water. If your choice of vegetable is bitterleaf, it should be added now as well.
Cover the pot and cook for 30 to 45 minutes. The egusi is done when you notice that the oil has risen to the surface of the mix and separated from the mix. If this is the case, add the fish, shaki and meat. Also add pepper and salt to taste. If pumpkin leaves (or any other soft vegetable) is your choice, please add it now.
Cover the pot and leave everything to steam together for 5 minutes.
The egusi soup is ready to be served with amala, Eba (garri), pounded yam or cassava fufu.
Egusi Before Oil

This method produces a healthier egusi soup. This is because there is no frying involved.
In this method, as soon as the shaki, fish and meat are done, remove them from the stock and place in a different pot or plate.
Add the ground egusi to the stock and cook for 40 minutes. You will notice the clear egusi oil coming to the surface of the soup.
Add 2 cooking spoons of red palm oil, the meat, fish, bitter leaves (if it is your choice of vegetable) pepper and salt to taste and cook for another 10 minutes. Now, add the pumpkin leaves if is your choice of vegetables, stir the soup and turn off the heat.
The egusi soup is ready to be served with amala, Eba (garri), pounded yam or cassava fufu.

Enjoy. . . .

I enjoyed dis little drama btw kobojunkie and efemena... Bt u guys dnt nid dt

Y husband? Serve both husband n wife. Part of her duties. Dsnt mean d wife can't do it if she wants 2. All dis fear bout maids snatchn hubbys is getn stale. A hubby dat wants 2 b snachd ll b, weda by d maid or sme1else.

Only okay if the female children are not old enough to serve their own father or when the woman is away I guess

Circumstances can warrant that.So I don't see anything wrong with a maid serving the man of the house.

Lasinoh: We are talking NIGERIAN MALES, not the normal males.
You have to be a SLAVE to prove your SICK love.
Come and take! Make AH tish you sointin!

Highest, I help you make Eba or boil rice for you.
If you nor fit to go take your own soup/meat from pot. . . .make you suffer impotence!
I nor send.

LADIES!!!! THIS IS A TRAP!!!! NA SO ABUSE DEY TAKE START!!!! THE DAY YOU DO NOT SERVE, NA SLAP TOZAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Don't START to serve o! NA SEE FINISH BE DAT!

TRAIN YOUR MEN TO COOK AND SERVE YOU INSTEAD!!!!

Lol. Shay na by force to marry ni?

addictiv: i don't get it, why should someone see service as a punishment even something as little as food.....i mean the main idea of marriage is to serve each other isn't it? there is no law that says a woman must serve her hubby's meals and there is no law that says if she does it she ll automatically become a slave....so whats the problem here?

and how does the husband serve his wife?

Kobojunkie:

But not every woman out there has the reasoning of your wife. Women, like men have abilities to have dreams, goals, ideas, choices. Why do you assume that all women have to be exact copies of your wife?

Also is the only way people can serve each other serving them food? Why can't a wife instead choose to serve her hubby by fixing his car when it breaks down or something and the husband choose to serve his wife by cooking and cleaning the house? Why does the wife have to serve a particular way while the man shouldn't?

Talking of growing up, have you ever thought of cooking and serving your wife, the same way, every now and then??

...CAPITAL YES..I've cooked and served my wife several no of times. Its no big deal dont get me wrong. Of course when she was heavy, I assisted in a whole lot of things and thats understandable. Talkin of my wife gettin under my car all in the name of assistance...u're a funny man..I cant help but only laugh.[Except if she studied mechanical engineering, automobile option]. Otherwise u must be a joker. We're meant to pamper our wives with love and care. I wont do that. I fix my car and hers to. Thats sounds manly. Pls dont divert and let experienced people talk.

tunapawizzy:
abi when eateries neva close down......smh...na ur type dey go redemption camp go pray for future husband @ 38

I'm already married and my husband helps himself with his meals whenever he's hungry! I don't 'serve' him, I'm not a servant!

Mavor: Lol. Shay na by force to marry ni?

Not by force . . . but a desperado as a single lady usually means a MEGA desperado in marriage! The trusting and obeying continues. . . .to no effect but low self-esteem. You don't have to be a 'mugu' to get and stay married! SERVE ONLY A MAN WHO SERVES YOU! Never to an emotional nomad!

Simple!

Ujujoan:

I'm already married and my husband helps himself with his meals whenever he's hungry! I don't 'serve' him, I'm not a servant!

you are fired

r231:

you are fired

Oya sorry na . . come let me 'serve' you!

bluestreak: ..-what d heck is that...hey! lady wives serve their husbands. My wife cooks for me and also serves me. Its her joy doing that, and its my joy fulfilling my obligations as the head of the family. I guess u're young and ur comment shows u're naive. If u have plans of getting married and enjoyin ur married, pls grow up.when u serve ur husband he will also serve u back in many ways.

Why do people just assume one is not married, just because she doesn't share their distorted views about marriage!

Abeg oh, I'm not in a master servant r/ship with my husband. I don't want to serve my husband and I dont want him to serve me.

Uju, why do you want to kill people na? How can you be married when you are not a servant?

Don't you know married women "love" to come back all drained and tired and still find joy in service? What is the joy you have as a wife if you say you are not a servant?
The maid will snatch your husband or your husband in this case will snatch himself since anyone who gives a Nigerian man food must also sleep with him

See me see wahala my sister!
Servant kin servant ni . . .
If a man wants to sleep with a maid, will he wiat till she's 'serving' him before he does it Na wa!
Abeg oh, I did not marry my husband to die of heart attack thinking of irelevant things to prevent people people 'snatching' him from me.
in any case, it's absolutely impossible for any woman, with red blood flowing through her veins, to snatch my darling husband from me! Yea, I boast!
Bad belle people no ge see me abeg!

Nigerian men are enjoying o.

Uju Love I have lived both lives the one of the fear of a husband being snatched, cooked washed cleaned worshiped it didn't make him staay faithful. Then I have lived with a man who respects me and let's me have a life and never makes me feel insecure and have any fear whatsoever that he will be snatched.
He is an adult who makes sane decisions not controlled like a goat by who "serves" him or what "she wore" or we have aan arguement and I am too scared to speak out because he will "go out and get snacthed.
Marry a man who respects you, who won't make you insecure who won't bother your heaad and time with nonesense fear, who will be head of the home love you selflessly and respect you as God commands not one who makes you feel fear that he will be snatched like an uncontrollable headless chicken with no mind of his own to resist even things that won't even matter.
Most Nigerian women like me formally live in constant state of paranoia of their husbands being snatched, everyone is a suspect and the man who took a vow with them is never to be blamed or held accountable for his action. It has to be that he was seduced or tempted or provoked.
God forbid a minute is actually responsible for any action

bluestreak: ...CAPITAL YES..I've cooked and served my wife several no of times. Its no big deal dont get me wrong. Of course when she was heavy, I assisted in a whole lot of things and thats understandable. Talkin of my wife gettin under my car all in the name of assistance...u're a funny man..I cant help but only laugh.[Except if she studied mechanical engineering, automobile option]. Otherwise u must be a joker. We're meant to pamper our wives with love and care. I wont do that. I fix my car and hers to. Thats sounds manly. Pls dont divert and let experienced people talk.

Oh!! So when she was not pregnant, why do you think she does not need help from you? So there are conditions as to when you can help and when you can't help? Yet you are married to her 24 hours of the day? You mean you can actually count the number of times you have helped, given you are here telling of how you helped? Do you think your wife can do the same . . . i mean count the number of times she has done house chores?

Talking of your wife getting under the hood to fix the car . . . . um . . . if her interest is in fixing stuff . . . why not? What is funny about that? I used to have a girlfriend who knew more about cars than I did, and she was generous enough to help me change my oil, fix problems with alternators, batteries, solenoid, etc. What is wrong with that? If you have an intelligent enough wife who does not feel she is limited to house chores, what is funny about that?

You are meant to pamper women? So letting them FREELY use their talents wherever it may apply is NOT PAMPERING them? So if a woman prefers to mow the lawn, take out the trash, paint the trash, etc. rather than wash dishes, cook, scrub the floor etc. you should still demand they do house chores because in your mind you have somehow convinced yourself that house chores is all every woman should focus on?

debrief08: Uju Love I have lived both lives the one of the fear of a husband being snatched, cooked washed cleaned worshiped it didn't make him staay faithful. Then I have lived with a man who respects me and let's me have a life and never makes me feel insecure and have any fear whatsoever that he will be snatched.
He is an adult who makes sane decisions not controlled like a goat by who "serves" him or what "she wore" or we have aan arguement and I am too scared to speak out because he will "go out and get snacthed.
Marry a man who respects you, who won't make you insecure who won't bother your heaad and time with nonesense fear, who will be head of the home love you selflessly and respect you as God commands not one who makes you feel fear that he will be snatched like an uncontrollable headless chicken with no mind of his own to resist even things that won't even matter.
Most Nigerian women like me formally live in constant state of paranoia of their husbands being snatched, everyone is a suspect and the man who took a vow with them is never to be blamed or held accountable for his action. It has to be that he was seduced or tempted or provoked.
God forbid a minute is actually responsible for any action

Exactly . . .
Sometimes I wonder why people get married at all if they are going to end up caging themselves for the rest of their lives!
A cheating husband should be held accountanble for his ways and not an unsuspecting maid who was probably sexually abused by "oga"!
I admire your courage and patience ooo . . .
You know say person like me for give that your ex poison one day . . or knock him over with a pestle . . or pour boiling water on his kini!

When I was a kid, the table will be set and my father will come to eat. E no dey know who serve am and e no care whether na maid or my mama.Now I dont have help so its either I serve him or he serves himself.

.

.

meipsum1: It is a pity how some people think they are married when they are only cohabiting... With all due respect to people like Lasinoh, ujujoan, kobojunkie, chocolate e.t.c, there is some thing call role play, he that made them in the beginning made them Male and Female, there is a reason why men has testosterone and women has oestrogen, why women skin is luscious why that of a man is not as luscious, why women has uterus and women does not. It is because there is a ROLE/PURPOSE for each one of them. When you try to interchange roles there will be problems. Just like when a Goal keeper decides to go and Strike, there will be problem. The Goal keeper is not necessary inferior to a Striker, because no matter how much goal a Striker scores, if a Goal keeper concedes more, the Team will always be losing, so each one of them are equally important in their roles. But we need not be stereotypic, sometimes when a team needs a goal badly doing die minutes and there is a corner kick for the team, a goal keeper will leave the goal pole to try score via corner kick, that is the work of a striker but it is expedient that the goal keeper shelve his own role at that time and do the work of a striker. I just try to use football to try and pass across my thought, because just as a football team involves teamwork and roleplay, so does marriage.

You minute you decided in your head that a married couple can be compared to a football team is the minute you revealed you have no clue what marriage is about. There are no set roles in marriage. Apart from the fact that a man has a Pe_nis and a woman has a v-jay-jay, there is no other differences or set abilities otherwise. A woman can work, watch tv, take care of her family in much the same way a man can. It's been proven a million times over at this point. Arguing it is admitting one would rather continue to delude self that being born one gender over the other is something special.

meipsum1:
I am not talking about a marriage in which both party are in self delusion that they are married even though they are just cohabiting( where one or both are feigning happiness, where the husband has a young respectful girl somewhere whom he spend his time with because he makes him feel like a man and do those things which the house wife thinks she is too big to do and just only come home to sleep with the house wife so that she won't suspect anything or just for the sake of the children, so that they won't suffer the trauma of seeing their parents divorced
e.t.c). Even though personally I don't think I will have problem with it if my wife don't serve me as long as it is not out of arrogance. But there are some thing that make alot of guys happy naturally. It is somehow natural, that is the way they are wired, just like naturally a women feels happy when she knows that she is attractive or that her husband finds her attractive e.t.c. Or just as naturally women likes attention, the same way there are some things that naturally makes a man happy. Even though he knows his wife is not inferior, he is happy when his wife out of love serve her food, he is wired to see it as an expression of love just the same way a woman is wired to feel happy when her looks or other things are complimented about her. I thing I have said enough about that, my battery is down already. I will like to insert a quote from bank PHB at this point: "some "LITTLE" things that matter are often taken for granted". Let me give some examples that people are acquainted with, look at people like Genevieve Nnaji(due respect to her), what does she have, great looks, money, fame e.t.c. But from experience men always want to do "Chop and Go" with these type of women because men think these type of women always seem to take these "LITTLE" things that matter for granted. It is only few of them who have kept cognizance of these little things that have been able to keep their marriage and also happily married. Don't be deceived, alots are actually married but not happily married. People like Kate Henshaw(now 41,due respect to her, I only used these examples because these are people that we all know, and for young minds who are reading, so that they won't have to suffer the fate of these people before they get it right, "those who refuse to learn from history are doomed to repeat it", I am actually a fan of Genevieve, so I respect her)who may not have taken cognizance of these little before now are now hoping and subtly through social media expressing their desire to get married again. I know if she get another chance she won't misuse it, but the question is will she? It is not good to be lonely, even if you don't care about marriage or don't give a damn if you divorce ten times or not simply because you are attractive and will always get a partner, note he will only stay for awhile and move again, so there will be a time you will no longer be as beautiful or on demand as now( ask PEUGEOT 5O4) and therefore you will be lonely at the time of your life(when growing old) when you need companion most. Or may be you are independent and you think you don't care about a man, a proverb says "It is when the rain has subsided that a man carrying an umbrella will feel it WEIGHT".

It is sad that you come with the above mentality. Very sad indeed as it shows that a lot of work is needed with the way our women raise their children. For every Genevieve out there, do you realize that are many more sons of Adam out there like you still looking to get the Genevieve kinds but cannot because they think like you? You see Genevieve but you don't see the more than 10 men who are still single because she continues to refuse to lower herself to their level. You see Kate Henshaw, but you somehow ignore the long list of men who have desired her for decades but cannot reach her because they probably think as you do and so are below her. Yes, I say below her because one would not expect a Gorilla to go for a babboon.

meipsum1:
@ KOBOJUNKIE, judging by your demeanour in your profile picture, the confidence your responses on this post so far exudes, I ASSUME, you are a woman who has alot of potentials, abilities and can even be taken for a man, it is great. There was once a goal keeper called CHILAVERT(he made history by being the highest goal scorer amidst keepers), he is a great goal keeper but also has the abilities to score free kicks. Whenever there is a free kick,they call him to come and play it.He scores it and go pack to his goal post.That he scores free kicks doesn't make him a midfielder. He always go back to his goalpost.

Finally, the picture on my profile is not of me but of a man dressed as a woman. He is a popular british-Nigerian actor. You should know him. Yeah, see how you were decieved by that picture, that is how many of you are with these ideas you spew of how different men are from women. Take away what sits between their legs and there is not much of a difference.

Anywho, I honestly you should go find yourself your kind to converse with as I have exhausted too much of my time with people who think as you do and I would rather engage more intelligent and grown up minds on this issue. Even my father, who is a lot lot older than you does not think what you have said here makes any sense. Matter of fact, he suggest you go get your parents to teach you right before you come back out professing to understand even life itself, let alone what is "Natural" to men.