I'll just throw two illustrations out there as case studies:

1). Pepa Regrets Not Dating Will Smith

“I thought Will was really cute and we would hang out a lot on the road. He liked to take care of me and never let me spend a dime. He was that kind of guy, real generous. I remember when they won their first award, he asked me to go out with him afterward. He was so excited. We were walking along the street getting ready to grab something to eat, and he just gave this homeless guy $100 dollars…I sometimes kick myself when I think about what could have been. He was so nice to me, but I really wasn’t feeling him. I guess I couldn’t appreciate a nice guy like Will Smith. He wasn’t thug enough. I was attracted to thugs and hoodlums. Will was too nice to me.”

“I liked people like Louis Burrell (MC Hammer’s brother). He was rough, he was street and he didn’t pull any punches. He would walk around with a cane and love-vendor hat. He always referred to women as b**ches.” Even with all that, I liked him.”

She ended up with Treach from Naughty by Nature who's a super thug.



http://hiphopwired.com/2009/08/19/pepa-regrets-not-dating-will-smith/

2). Vivica A. Fox: Ex-Boyfriend 50 Cent Is "Absolutely the Love of My Life"



"He is absolutely the love of my life," the Celebrity Apprentice alum, 50, admitted of 50 Cent, before explaining that dating the performer was "difficult."

"I really, really cared for him and I loved him very, very much and I always will, but he just wasn’t right for me," Fox told host Meredith Vieira in an episode airing Monday, Feb. 16. "That’s hard when you really, really love a person in your heart, you want to be with them, but you finally have to say, 'He's just not right for me.'"

"I wish him the best, he is amazing and baby, he's fine, but... sometimes love ain't always right," she explained. "The heart wants what it wants, but sometimes it’s just not right."

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/vivica-a-fox-ex-50-cent-is-absolutely-the-love-of-my-life-2015132

Lmao...that's the average chic for you regardless of her status/education. They always fall in love with "thugs"/bad boys. Thugs/bad boys necessarily don't mean hoodrats - just folks who are rough around the edges and are a product of their environment.

Academics like Dr. Eric Dyson and Dr. Marc Lamont Hill also fall into that cos regardless of how educated they're - they're still a product of the mean streets of Detroit and Philly respectively. And they'd tell you that off the bat. Ditto folks like Idris Elba and Denzel Washington.

Dollyparton1
Yetseyi
missy89
1bkaye

What do you lot think? And how come you lot always sheg the sweet/nice guys?

This doesn't prove anything really, it all depends on individuals.

I know for a fact that I want a man who remembers to be kind to strangers at all times.

10

I couldn’t appreciate a nice guy like Will Smith. He wasn’t thug enough. I was attracted to thugs and hoodlums. Will was too nice to me






Smh,and you see her likes online talking about physical violence

When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and,
trust me, over time, nothing is sexier. ----Sheryl Sanberg.

Shymme3x, the quote above is the conclusion of the whole matter. Women will fvck bad boys but marry nice guys. Pepa is only regretting her Will Smith experience because he'd have made a great husband not that he's such a great guy that it would be logical to be with him, same with Vivica.

Funny how after falling for the said "thug", you then come online and start complaining how he womanizes, violent and uncommitted. There are issues counselling can't solve, and you must really be dedicated, for prayers to solve what just common sense would've sorted out easily.

Timbuktou:
Shymme3x, the quote above is the conclusion of the whole matter. Women will fvck bad boys but marry nice guys. Pepa is only regretting her Will Smith experience because he'd have made a great husband not that he's such a great guy that it would be logical to be with him, same with Vivica.

Holá T, the cunning ones maybe - but typically, most don't have the smarts to see and appreciate the difference beween thug lovin' and selfless devotion. Even those that can, find it very hard to forego their desire for a "bit of rough" - tendency to stray is high amongst those as well.

For a man, your mission - if you want a wife - is to find one of those pearls or rare value, the subset who are neither silly nor cunning, who are able to appreciate goodness in a man. You yourself have to wrap that goodness in proper masculine traits/behaviour.

Again, for many women, thug lovin, trips the same switches as true masculine traits, they just are not cultured/mature enough to spot the difference. I was reading the "emotionally unavailable" thread . I swear, most women - especially the singles - who post here would be much better off letting their elders choose spouses for them.


TV

Shymex and his usual alpha-male philosophy.

TV01:


Holá T, the cunning ones maybe - but typically, most don't have the smarts to see and appreciate the difference beween thug lovin' and selfless devotion. Even those that can, find it very hard to forego their desire for a "bit of rough" - tendency to stray is high amongst those as well.

For a man, your mission - if you want a wife - is to find one of those pearls or rare value, the subset who are neither silly nor cunning, who are able to appreciate goodness in a man. You yourself have to wrap that goodness in proper masculine traits/behaviour.

Again, for many women, thug lovin, trips the same switches as true masculine traits, they just are not cultured/mature enough to spot the difference. I was reading the "emotionally unavailable" thread . I swear, most women - especially the singles - who post here would be much better off letting their elders choose spouses for them.


TV

Hello Bros,

You are indeed, right. Just wasn't in the mood to expatiate ni. Nairaland is such a disappointing brain-killer these days, I type responses most times and then delete them because arguing with ediots can be tiresome. However, I absolutely agree with your comment. The allure of the alpha is most times too hard to ignore and resist, especially for the sexually liberated generation.

Indeed, again I totally agree with this. Gentle as a dove, wise as a serpent, royal as a lion . Please, permit my paraphrasing.

That thread got me laughing. I realise it too late and just opted to not bother responding to the myriad of unrealistic experiences. This indomie generation is unfortunate I have to admit, they are soooo disconnected from reality. The reach of hollywood and Disney stories is more pervasive than we would like to admit. I have a very strong feeling arranged marriages will make a comeback . I will personally vet the homes my children will be marrying from and will teach them to be as discerning as possible for what they should look out for in both spouse and spouse's lineage. Believe me, I have met families where they have a generational disregard for matrimony and legacy.

However, as much as we might have principles, it should be remembered that the law was made for man and not the other way around.

Like poles repel, unlike poles attract. It's a universal law that applies to humans as well.

It's very natural to attract to yourself one who has those qualities that you do not possess and it's doesn't apply to women alone, same law applies to men. The good guys often end up with bad girls and vice versa. It is what it is.

Kimoni:
Like poles repel, unlike poles attract. It's a universal law that applies to humans as well.

It's very natural to attract to yourself one who has those qualities that you do not possess and it's doesn't apply to women alone, same law applies to men. The good guys often end up with bad girls and vice versa. It is what it is.

Law ke? Everyone likes good things - and I''m not attracted to my burriful sesi wife 'cos I'm bugly !

I'm of the mind that it's more of "a choice" - based on knowledge, understanding, wisdom and discernment - than a law. Indeed, when you are deficient in any of those areas and make bad choices - and perhaps repeatedly so - it may seem like a law, but it's poor outcomes predicated on poor choices, rooted in some degree of ignorance and probably disordered desire.


TV

Timbuktou:


Hello Bros,

You are indeed, right. Just wasn't in the mood to expatiate ni. Nairaland is such a disappointing brain-killer these days, I type responses most times and then delete them because arguing with ediots can be tiresome. However, I absolutely agree with your comment. The allure of the alpha is most times too hard to ignore and resist, especially for the sexually liberated generation.

Indeed, again I totally agree with this. Gentle as a dove, wise as a serpent, royal as a lion . Please, permit my paraphrasing.

That thread got me laughing. I realise it too late and just opted to not bother responding to the myriad of unrealistic experiences. This indomie generation is unfortunate I have to admit, they are soooo disconnected from reality. The reach of hollywood and Disney stories is more pervasive than we would like to admit. I have a very strong feeling arranged marriages will make a comeback . I will personally vet the homes my children will be marrying from and will teach them to be as discerning as possible for what they should look out for in both spouse and spouse's lineage. Believe me, I have met families where they have a generational disregard for matrimony and legacy.

However, as much as we might have principles, it should be remembered that the law was made for man and not the other way around.

Unrealistic expectation gba ni - predicated on a gargantuan sense of entitlement, multiple blind spots, a self-serving mentality and usually with the bonus of a "princess complex". Any man that's sets to sea upon that emotional seastorm is guaranteed shipwreck.

Gba be 0! I'm already instructing my son in why lineage matters - and not to bring any plain or generously proportioned girls to my house !


TV

freecocoa:
This doesn't prove anything really, it all depends on individuals.

Oh but it does. It's the big H at work, that quiet (but not so quiet these days) push and pull to which ALL women are subject. Women are innately drawn to men with pronounced masculine traits - dominance, strength, aggression, etc, traits which the "bad boys" somehow naturally exudes and which the nice guys have stifled or suppressed. This pull is automatic and non-negotiated.

Even if the woman later settles for the nice guy because he easily offers comfort, provisioning and stability she will always on some level hold out for those "bad boy" traits.

See the Vivica example above, while she realises she cannot be with 50 she still acknowledges the attraction she has for him.

The alpha widow is widowing

TV01:

Law ke? Everyone likes good things - and I''m not attracted to my burriful sesi wife 'cos I'm bugly !

I'm of the mind that it's more of "a choice" - based on knowledge, understanding, wisdom and discernment - than a law. Indeed, when you are deficient in any of those areas and make bad choices - and perhaps repeatedly so - it may seem like a law, but it's poor outcomes preicated on poor choices.

TV

That law has been in existence before you and I were born. And it will not change when you and I leave.

TV, how do you make two batteries work? Placing two negative sides together, two positive sides together or placing the positive after the negative side?

And remember I used "often" for humans; because we are humans, there would be a few rare exceptions but naturally, we all tend to attract qualities we don't have.

Shymmex examples are kind of extreme but the phenomenon cannot be argued, so kindly explain why it happens, if you disagree with the law. Why do humans make such choices over and over again?

TV01:

Unrealistic expectation gba ni - predicated on a gargantuan sense of entitlement, multiple blind spots, a self-serving mentality and usually with the bonus of a "princess complex". Any man that's sets to sea upon that emotional seastorm is guaranteed shipwreck.

Gba be 0! I'm already instructing my son in why lineage matters - and not to bring any plain or generously proportioned girls to my house !


TV

You should be awarded honorary doctorates from HYP-OB for the part in bold. At the end of the day, it's about feeling entitled and over-valuing one's self . It was a hilarious thread and I saw people with experience trying to wade in, but we all know some people would not let facts stand in the way of fantasy.

My son already knows what is acceptable looks wise, he's just almost five. hehehehe. There is yet hope for the future.

Tim and TV - I just dey laugh both of you ni o. Instruct your sons from today till eternity, what they will do is what they will do. You won't be the only one to teach and influence them in this life baa

What will be will surely be

Kimoni:
That law has been in existence before you and I were born. And it will not change when you and I leave.

In as much as it is tue, it has limits and is contextual.

Kimoni:
TV, how do you make two batteries work? Placing two negative sides together, two positive sides together or placing the positive after the negative side?

That is "polarity", same principle as male/female - there is an outcome for both, vis energy or life.

Kimoni:
And remember I used "often" for humans; because we are humans, there would be a few rare exceptions but naturally, we all tend to attract qualities we don't have.

Again, limits and context. I don't have a womb ! But I ain't gettin; with no plain jane on acount of the fact that I'm foine !

Kimoni:
Shymmex examples are kind of extreme but the phenomenon cannot be argued, so kindly explain why it happens, if you disagree with the law. Why do humans make such choices over and over again?

I explained in my first response to you. People who are cultured/mature/schooled enough to choose with understanding and act wisely are freed from such laws.

Knowledge tells me fornication is bad, understanding gives me insight as to why, and wisdom enables me to choose/act appropriately. Control of - or better still elimination of - a carnal response to my base desires means I am elevated above such laws.

I do it by faith and grace - which I believe has implications and benefits beyond the here and now, but there are other ways to attain to this state.

I used to appraise women "carnally". Then I renewed my mind. Understanding flooded in. So whilst I can still appreciate the leggy girl in the pencil skirt and even be attracted to her, I act on more refined/loftier motivations.

The law is for the ungodly !


TV

ApexTitan:


Oh but it does. It's the big H at work, that quiet (but not so quiet these days) push and pull to which ALL women are subject. Women are innately drawn to men with pronounced masculine traits - dominance, strength, aggression, etc, traits which the "bad boys" somehow naturally exudes and which the nice guys have stifled or suppressed. This pull is automatic and non-negotiated.

Even if the woman later settles for the nice guy because he easily offers comfort, provisioning and stability she will always on some level hold out for those "bad boy" traits.

See the Vivica example above, while she realises she cannot be with 50 she still acknowledges the attraction she has for him.

The alpha widow is widowing

Mehn! I honestly don't even see an argument here because I can't relate to your assertions, it's very wrong to be so emphatic on the matter.

As far as I know, many mature women who know what they want, are turned off by the typical bad boy persona, it comes off as very juvenile, you sound like the 'nice guys' are not men enough A nice guy has the traits a real woman wants, he just knows how to handle it, unless you are putting a sissy in the place of a nice guy.

Vivica being attracted to 50 is not standard for all women.

Kimoni:
Tim and TV - I just dey laugh both of you ni o. Instruct your sons from today till eternity, what they will do is what they will do. You won't be the only one to teach and influence them in this life baa

What will be will surely be

Lol. Kimoni, the instruction is mostly exemplary, but there'll be verbal teaching no doubt. Train up a child in the way he should go is no weightless admonition. My son already knows to appreciate pretty girls and I didn't even teach him that. Now imagine how much better he'll be with my influence, I'm his god. He wants to do everything I do. I am his standard.

I'm sure you have an olosho friend or two and if not friend, someone you grew up with. How come they didn't influence you into oloshoism? I'm willing to bet someone did a good job training you. I'm also guessing they taught you how to identify quality men from the pretenders.

I will set tests, oral, written and practical for my sons and daughters, Kimoni . I'm leaving nothing to chance, and anyone bent on tarnishing the family name and legacy might just go swim with the fishes

Timbuktou:


You should be awarded honorary doctorates from HYP-OB for the part in bold. At the end of the day, it's about feeling entitled and over-valuing one's self . It was a hilarious thread and I saw people with experience trying to wade in, but we all know some people would not let facts stand in the way of fantasy.

My son already knows what is acceptable looks wise, he's just almost five. hehehehe. There is yet hope for the future.

Cheers bro', but me, I gave it up for Crackhaus, Ramdeuter and I believe Mindless on that thread. Way more patient than I am given to be lately. My jaw hit the ground when the dating situation was disconnected from the marriage state. I guess deep some some women peg themselves as girlfriends - whatever that is . Why won't you quantify your relationship - and whole being - in terms of emotional units !

Abi, my boy is barely 3. Knows all about kinship ties and properly structured realtiosnhips. Bloodlines and generational understanding to follow shortly. Once they grow with it, and understand it, it will always inform their choices. He will be raised knowing all about


TV

Kimoni:
Tim and TV - I just dey laugh both of you ni o. Instruct your sons from today till eternity, what they will do is what they will do. You won't be the only one to teach and influence them in this life baa

What will be will surely be

Kim, men do as instructed, as schooled. It's called nurture. But men who lack instruction, or are unschooled, also "do". They just don't fully grasp the how and why. What they will do is what they are grounded in.

It's not chance and mindless destiny. What will be is what - with faith and grace - they are instructed in. Or do you think the boys that sag, and the girls who like boys that sag, don't learn that? !


TV

TV01:
In as much as it is tue, it has limits and is contextual.

That is "polarity", same principle as male/female - there is an outcome for both, vis energy or life.

Again, limits and context. I don't have a womb ! But I ain't gettin; with no plain jane on acount of the fact that I'm foine !


I explained in my first response to you. People who are cultures/mature/scholled enough to choose with understanding and act wisely are freed from such laws.

Knowledge tells me fornication is bad, understanding gives me insight as to why, and wisdom enables me to choose/act appropriately. Control of - or better still elimination of - a carnal response to my basel desires means I am elevated above such laws.

I do it by faith and grace - which I believe has implications and benefits beyond the here and now, but there are other ways to attain to this state.

I used to appraise women "carnally". Then I renewed my mind. Understanding flooded in. So whilst I can still appreciate the leggy girl inthe pencil skirt and even be attracted to her, I act on more fined motivations.

The law is for the ungodly !


TV

And I agree wholeheartedly with the bolded. Sorry I missed it earlier.

As for the last part, I already admitted that Shymexx examples were very extreme. I am on the quiet side but my hubby is very outgoing, I like to be analytical, he is quite spontaneous. We are opposites in several ways but not necessarily bad. I have never been attracted to a quiet man, yet I am quiet . We choose people who complement us. That's what I meant and same logic applies to Shymmmex examples.

TV01:

Kim, men and women do as instructed, as schooled. It's called nurture. But men who lack instruction, or are unschooled, also "do". They just don't fully grasp the how and why. What they will do is what they are grounded in.

It's not chance and mindless destiny. What will be is what - with faith and grace - they are instructed in Or do you think the boys that sag, and the girls who like boys that sag, don't learn that? !

TV

Again I have to agree with the bolded **banging my head against the wall**

Note - I corrected the first sentence

Timbuktou:


Lol. Kimoni, the instruction is mostly exemplary, but there'll be verbal teaching no doubt. Train up a child in the way he should go is no weightless admonition. My son already knows to appreciate pretty girls and I didn't even teach him that. Now imagine how much better he'll be with my influence, I'm his god mirror, for now. He wants to do everything I do. I am his standard.

I'm sure you have an olosho friend or two and if not friend, someone you grew up with. How come they didn't influence you into oloshoism? I'm willing to bet someone did a good job training you. I'm also guessing they taught you how to identify quality men from the pretenders.

I will set tests, oral, written and practical for my sons and daughters, Kimoni . I'm leaving nothing to chance, and anyone bent on tarnishing the family name and legacy might just go swim with the fishes

Funny post Tim. Again, I agree, train up a child....

I corrected something in your first paragraph

Kimoni:
And I agree wholeheartedly with the bolded. Sorry I missed it earlier.
As for the last part, I already admitted that Shymexx examples were very extreme. I am on the quiet side but my hubby is very outgoing, I like to be analytical, he is quite spontaneous. We are opposites in several ways but not necessarily bad. I have never been attracted to a quiet man, yet I am quiet . We choose people who complement us. That's what I meant and same logic applies to Shymmmex examples.

That is complemetarity in behaviour/traits/attributes, as opposed to opposite in character. Afterall, there is another aphorism that states "we attract what we are" no? Elevation frees us from all the lower level situational/contextual laws/boundaries.

Kimoni:
Again I have to agree with the bolded **banging my head against the wall**

Note - I corrected the first sentence

Thanks, but it didn't require correcting - I used "men" in the genric human sense - Its implied in the second paragraph and I used people in my earlier response - I could have been clearer I suppose . I'll try harder next time. lest I fall foul of the law of unintended consequences !


TV

TV01:

That is complemetarity in behaviour/traits/attributes, as opposed to opposite in character. Afterall, there is another aphorism that states "we attract what we are" no? Elevation frees us from all the lower level situational/contextual laws/boundaries.

TV, it's the same thing jor, don't use big grammar to confuse me

Thanks, but it didn't require correcting - I used "men" in the genric human sense - Its implied in the second paragraph and I used people in my earlier response - I could have been clearer I suppose . I'll try harder next time. lest I fall foul of the law of unintended consequences !

TV

time to watch your back

Kimoni:
TV, it's the same thing jor, don't use big grammar to confuse me

Not in this context na? Abi we are no talking good girl vs. bad boy


TV

Shymm3x:
Lmao...that's the average chic for you regardless of her status/education. They always fall in love with "thugs"/bad boys. Thugs/bad boys necessarily don't mean hoodrats - just folks who are rough around the edges and are a product of their environment.

Academics like Dr. Eric Dyson and Dr. Marc Lamont Hill also fall into that cos regardless of how educated they're - they're still a product of the mean streets of Detroit and Philly respectively. And they'd tell you that off the bat. Ditto folks like Idris Elba and Denzel Washington.

Dollyparton1
Yetseyi
missy89
1bkaye

What do you lot think? And how come you lot always sheg the sweet/nice guys?

stop generalizing.

TV01:

Cheers bro', but me, I gave it up for Crackhaus, Ramdeuter and I believe Mindless on that thread. Way more patient than I am given to be lately. My jaw hit the ground when the dating situation was disconnected from the marriage state. I guess deep some some women peg themselves as girlfriends - whatever that is . Why won't you quantify your relationship - and whole being - in terms of emotional units !

Abi, my boy is barely 3. Knows all about kinship ties and properly structured realtiosnhips. Bloodlines and generational understanding to follow shortly. Once they grow with it, and understand it, it will always inform their choices. He will be raised knowing all about


TV

But the dating situation is removed from marriage these days. That's why men can amass ridiculous notch counts and still have room for more. It's more about the feels than the reals these days. How else would a christian blatantly lie against the bible's prescription for women to submit to their husbands as not really submitting just considering whether and when to submit or not.

Aye, aye, Cap'n. Just to hold steady, then.

Missy89:


stop generalizing.

Lol. I'm not generalising - and I see similar examples all the time. I know a lot of guys that never went to Uni (though not bums - they do whatever they do to get money and they're whipping decent autos) and they have some of the nicest high flying chics, true story.

And most times, when you're that super nice/sweet guy to chics - you'll end up getting "friendzoned", or it will take months for them to let off. However, when you don't give a fvck - they let off faster than Usain Bolt. Why is that?