What are YOU doing to rescue your husband from such mendicant circumstances?
If you were more ABLE than his MOMMA. . . .you would not be here abi?
Don't you have your own parents to BEG from?
You leave him no choice!
Please, get busy! )

It takes 2 to RUN A HOME AND A MARRIAGE!

@ kobojunkie, what knowledge or experience do u ve on marrital issues & hw long ve u been married, someone is saying her husband is a dondie here & u r saying no, is she nt insulting her hubby b4 an internet forums. What r u ladies taking us 4 mumu or what. D man is old enough 2 handle d matter his own ways & whatever happens she s d one that will go, d MIL isnt going anywhere. @ jidegirl what a gud comments 4rm u, i m nt surprise anyway, d real agents of divorce wil come & help her out.

bjcole: what r all these ur questions 4? this is how u people scatter homes.

Isn't that the kind of intervention she's looking for in the first place?

Let her answer any questions now , I'm all ears, OP oya start washing.

bjcole: @ kobojunkie, what knowledge or experience do u ve on marrital issues & hw long ve u been married, someone is saying her husband is a dondie here & u r saying no, is she nt insulting her hubby b4 an internet forums. What r u ladies taking us 4 mumu or what. D man is old enough 2 handle d matter his own ways & whatever happens she s d one that will go, d MIL isnt going anywhere. @ jidegirl what a gud comments 4rm u, i m nt surprise anyway, d real agents of divorce wil come & help her out.

You have just confirmed you have no clue how matters of the heart can ruin a married or a life. Continue asking me silly questions on the side . . . I will instead wait for the @OP to paint us a clearer picture of where she is and what she really thinks the situation is.

hahahaha! na wa for nairaland o...anyways this is my first and last time of coming to ask for advise from a public forum what was i expecting?
i am not looking for a divorce and i willnever divorce my husband, by the grace of God.
If you notice your child is having social problems in school about making friends wnt you at least try to help? my hubby is my baby and ihave noticed he has some communication issues with his mum, I'm just asking how i can go about it to help him have a healthy relationship with her. If you dnt have any advice on how to go about it,then read and pass abeg.
Nobody should pls bring up divorce abeg,not everyone asking for advice wants to divorce.

Kobojunkie: the fact that she sees a reason to complain should be enough to motivate you to make sure you have a good UNDERSTANDING of what it is she is really experiencing BEFORE you post advice that pretends a full understanding of her situation.

Suggesting that she pretends nothing is wrong is the way people scatter homes,they instead create problems.

There r always going 2 be problems, she shd go & endure it, am i nt enduring mine, & u r also enduring urs.

bjcole: There r always going 2 be problems, she shd go & endure it, am i nt enduring mine, & u r also enduring urs.

ENDURE IT? That seems to be the average Nigerian's solution to most every problem. How has that worked out for you and your kind?

Kobojunkie:

ENDURE IT? That seems to be the average Nigerian's solution to most every problem. How has that worked out for you and your kind?

my mother endured it & she is in her 70s stil wit my dad, my wife is enduring it becos she does nt want 2 be a single mum. If u tell me ur man is having affairs here & there or is abusing, then i can understand, hw wil my wife tell me i dnt ve healthy relationship wit my mum & i wil understand, I ve kids now, is it easy?

chaircover: @poster have you heard the saying that watch how a man treats his mother as that will give you an idea into how he will treat you.

OK so he goes out of his way and inconveniences himself for his mother . . . Isnt that what we do for our loved ones and they do for us? would you mind so much if he inconvenienced himself for you??

OK so maybe the mother didnt care for him when he was younger . . . who knows she may have made her peace with him and he has decided not to let that affect his relationship with her. its not for you to judge if she was a good mother to him or not. .you said she lent him money to start a biz which BOTH OF YOU haven't paid back so there is some seeds of a good mother in there somewhere

OK so she doesnt even know that she is inconveniencing your husband . . . whose fault is that?

My dear one day one day you are going to inconvenience your own kids and their spouses too you know! no matter how small the inconvenience is.

Please let the man be . .and let him enjoy his mother in peace. She wont be around for ever and if she is his mother at the end of the day, not some stranger he picked off the street. If you want your husbands happiness which in turn will come full cycle back to you, then you need to love him and love his "dog"

Maybe if you got yourself more involved in these inconveniences and helped your husband to run some of these errands, then maybe just maybe it wont be so much a burden on just your husband alone. United you stand, divided you fall and 2 heads are certainly better than one.

Thank you for replyin before I could.. Noting more to say joor

ur mother-in-law used to tell her own son what to do,there's no place u state evil advise from the mother,if ur husb mother ask ur husb money,yes she ask because she thought her son have it,if ur husb gave her he give because he has it,if he dnt,he we simply say mum i dnt have it,
abeg if ur husb have the money let the mother demand

bjcole: my mother endured it & she is in her 70s stil wit my dad, my wife is enduring it becos she does nt want 2 be a single mum. If u tell me ur man is having affairs here & there or is abusing, then i can understand, hw wil my wife tell me i dnt ve healthy relationship wit my mum & i wil understand, I ve kids now, is it easy?

OH my! You have never had to ENDURE yourself, but you seem so willing to talk of how your mother did it and your wife is now having to do it too, right? ENDURE, right?? Doesn't it feel good? As long as you have yourself never had to do it, it is OK to talk freely of how easy it is, right?? As long as you don't know how hard it has been for them to give up so much in order to endure, it is OK for you to talk about it, right? WOW!!

Again . . .

Kobojunkie:

You have just confirmed you have no clue how matters of the heart can ruin a married or a life. Continue asking me silly questions on the side . . . I will instead wait for the @OP to paint us a clearer picture of where she is and what she really thinks the situation is.

As far as I'm concerned, marriage is meant to be ENJOYED and not endured. I'm sorry but I don't share that ideology of enduring. I've seen what it does and it's not a pleasant thing IMO.

Mrs Ms.JuanMata, I understand where you're coming from. My take on your matter is don't interfere. Just let your huzzy handle it in his own way and wisdom even though you may not like it. Please just maintain your own side and leave mother and son matter alone.

I'm deducing the mother may not even know she might at time be inconveniencing her son to help her. I want to believe if she knew, she wouldn't do that but the son is too shy to voice out his mind.

He's just reconnected with his mom and he doesn't want to do/say anything to jeopardise that bond he has been longing for for so long.

Off Topic: Can I ask the house something: is it wrong/a crime for a child to say NO to his parents' demand/request? I asked this because from the comments I've read so far, you all are making it sound as if it is a sin to turn down one's parents demand/request.

Is it a must that we must ALWAYS do what they ask of us even when at times it isn't convenient for us?

ferhyntorlah: As far as I'm concerned, marriage is meant to be ENJOYED and not endured. I'm sorry but I don't share that ideology of enduring. I've seen what it does and it's not a pleasant thing IMO.

Mrs Ms.JuanMata, I understand where you're coming from. My take on your matter is don't interfere. Just let your huzzy handle it in his own way and wisdom even though you may not like it. Please just maintain your own side and leave mother and son matter alone.

I'm deducing the mother may not even know she might at time be inconveniencing her son to help her. I want to believe if she knew, she wouldn't do that but the son is too shy to voice out his mind.

He's just reconnected with his mom and he doesn't want to do/say anything to jeopardise that bond he has been longing for for so long.

Off Topic: Can I ask the house something: is it wrong/a crime for a child to say NO to his parents' demand/request? I asked this because from the comments I've read so far, you all are making it sound as if it is a sin to turn down one's parents demand/request.

Is it a must that we must ALWAYS do what they ask of us even when at times it isn't convenient for us?

^^^ bolded what do you call that in one word ?

Bear, Tolerate ? your answer please?