Men are strange,

Certain things they can do. but those things cant be done to them.

He will take it soooo personally, i dont think he will forgive you.

Pack your bags and go. Dont hang around for him.

Sorry to be negative but, they are not wronged.

Here is where I wanted to catch you all hypocrites.

You are saying you can't forgive if you caught your wife in the act but you all are asking this woman to go back.

Ha Nigerian men and women. I have never seen hypocrites like you.

As they say only the person who wears the shoe knows where it hurts. You guys are only capable of making mouth!

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-52335.192.html

The real question is, can he forget. I know he can forgive but will the woman ever live it down?

that is why u do it and make sure he never finds out, men are sooooooooooo naive these days sef.

I have not have the priviledge of reading all the replies to the posts.

Promiscuity and infidelity is interestingly much common in women than men. women are able to conceal better than men.

alot of times there are stupid reasons for cheating.

From the Mens perspectives, it is usually lust (men are usually into physical) whereas women have combination system and it can be a combination of things.

Now if a woman cheat, it is unlikely to be like men that can be on impulse, so there is usually an element of premeditation.

Now, the man seriouly need to find out the reasons why she did it and a true confession and sincere promise that she will never do it again presumably with her parents and the pastor.

Then it is definitely forgivable even forgetable and becomes a point of strenght for the marriage. Any second attempt by the woman she is a goner as that may well be a sign of significant spiritual problem.

However, a good investigation is important for the Man to discover the true reasons for the woman doing it because if it is spiritual or a nympho(hmmn, it is like madness, it will always re-appears once in a while)

There are some women who are like men who are simply indulging in lustfullness and nothing more.

On men cheating, i think it goes same way, if the wife work in everyway as much as possible with her husband in a loving way and do not carry bad friends who knows her secret to enable them seduce her husband, then such infidelity calls for the wife to call a meeting again and read the riot act because a lot is at stake including her health and life. One strike rules apply and the man should be out of her life.

I hope and prayed that we can all stay faithfull, it is not hard but temptations and also inability to stay focus on more important things than physical be it sex or money,, because sex is for the man why money is for the woman.

God help all of us. Forgiveness within reason, even Jesus christ told the adulterous woman, 'go woman, your sins have been forgiven, sin no more'

An unrepentant sinner wil die as a sinner and forgiveness is not only impossible but unavailable as forgetfulness that may bring permernet forgiveness will not be there as the sinner has not repent truthfully and sincerely.

if truly he has the luv for her, i believe he should be able to have a forgiven heart for her as well. becos if he forgives and promise not to forget, there must always be a silent beef between both of them and they might divorce each other at the end of everything.

though is not an easy doing, but becos our creator forgives we the his creature should also learn how to forgive one another no matter what the case my be, becos a home or marriage that there's no peace, what do expect out them?

I will forgive her but will not forget. Anytime she does something wrong afterwards i will remind her of it, so the best thing for her to do is to marry the other guy or run away, because oneday i fit kill her. We will stop sleeping on the same bed, and I will look at her as just a fucking partner afterwards. I will get myself another babe, and collect my children from her. But me i can do it and get away with it as a man, nothing dey happen.

Actually from where i come from, Ishan, if a woman does such thing, she will definitely fall sick and later die. Bendel insurance

i will only forgive her if the marriage will be dissolved. 

i came home with my HIV result reading positive and i told my husband
he was weeping uncontrollably and was telling me to please forgive him
was wondering for what? he then told me he's been having an affair with
a girl i know to be his cousin's friend for a year and was sleeping with her unprotected.
thinking he was the one that infected me.you can imagine what i was going through
just been told i was HIV+ and my husband confessing to adultery. i beat him blue and black
and i was considering divorce.i slept on the same bed with him for 3month could not stand him touching me.
i wasn't thinking of the virus in my blood, i was think my husband i love and trusted has betrayed me.
our marriage was 2 year and he was already cheating i asked him what time and how he was able to have a relationship without me knowing because he doesn't sleep out.he said he dint want to go into details because he doesn't want to hurt me.i kept wondering if i wasn't diagnose with HIV virus i would never had know my husband was cheating.i have since forgiven him because i love him. he took his test and was negative and i make sure he takes it every 6 months.

hello nairalanders,please does anybody has an information on Lonadek Oil and Gas Systems Consultants test format and interview. I was called for an assessment on tues 29th jan.

@ geegee

If i were a man, it would be the most difficult thing but it will take alot to forgive and definitely to forget as well.
But if i were to think about what she brings to ma life, what joy she adds to ma life and the kinda good mother she is and good spouse, then i will surely think about it sha.

We are humans and we err.

you are a dangerous forgiver.  i would forgive too but she would have crossed the point of no return with me. life living with such a woman would never be the same again.

i personally will forgive and tolerate every other sin but infidelity in my book is gross betrayal of trust. i will not look at her the same way again. her value and stock would have greatly reduced in my eyes.

automatrically, there will be love lost.both parties will loose trust in each other.
the husband will always be suspecting his wife so the wife not be free to her husband.
communication losss.
it may be forgiven but never forgotten.
akikah !!!!

Ve waited patiently for year to think abt all what people will say abt ds subject,its like ve not really seen any reason not to send her away and end the marriage

good boy. once a cheat always a cheat

whats the way forward?has lonadek called anyone who went for interview on the 4th of feb?

I wont forgive Infidelity and i don't expect him to forgive me either.
Whats the essence of forgiving when the scar is there,with the trust gone,there's no marriage left.

Most African men find it difficult to forgive and forget, cos its one thing to forgive and another to entirely forget the incident, but why should a woman stray anyway !!!

For[b]give[/b] ko. . . . . For[b]recieve[/b] ni

That is definitely gonna be the end of the game. . . . . .no exception . .

She can be forgiven if she's repentant but the scar is now there

Yes I believe 100% that husband should forgive his wife when caught in adultery because in most cases husbands are the cause of the woman going astray so if he caused her to commit adultery why won't he make the same room to forgive her. vice versa

Surprised at those who say, it is quits with the marriage! I agree it is quite painful; very much so. But do you know that in the sight of God, all sins are regarded the same and there is no peace with such person. So, like Jesus counsels us, forgive or your Father in heaven will not forgive you. That will have eternal consequence; unpleasantly so. God gives the grace to forgive! oseloks [/left]

It is for God to forgive

But I can't stay married to that kind of woman. I'll never be able to to trust her again and that means there is no marriage again. If she goes out, I'll think she's gone to another man. If she goes to work, i'll think she's going to see another man. It just cant work again.

@topic,

its really hard oh . . then again it depends on the gavity of the adultery and how much he loves her. Kids or no kids . . wat is wrong is wrong!

Yes he can forgive,is the same with a man caught in adultery.But the bible says it is only adultery that can separate a man and a woman,and it also says you can also forgive or put her away,so it depends on what he wants.

Its going to be easier for me to forgive a girlfriend than forgive a wife. For a girl friend I may consider that she was just keeping her options open, but for a wife, I consider that it is just in her nature, so better to quit.

if a woman can catch her husband and go on with the marriage,why won't a man do that.

they will never forgive but will expect u to forgive them

So true.

depends on the husband and wife involved.