u know i cant help but wonder what happened to our mindsets.i`m tallking about nigerian ladies.we`ve really derailed and the worst of it is we are not aware.no girl would date a guy now except he is well paid.
come to think of it,it never used to be like that.what happened to love.
to even think that we`ve found a modern word for prostituition.we call it Runs or we call ourselves Aristo or big girls.
what happened to our morals,our values.
its time we checked ourselves and retrace our steps back to where we belong.

dose are da imperfections of life

Well my dear I'm not a Nigerian lady, but things have definately changed and keep on changing for the worst .

Everyone wants to live a comfortable life.

just what i was complaining about

That's why I don't want to ask anyone out -- almost everyone thinks sex is synonymous with love and that gifts and money are normal in a relationship.

It is not just about Nigerian women but women from all works of life, I suppose a woman that does not work for her keeps would expect to date/marry a man that would pay her bills and stuff.

@ Kajad

lol

abeg i hope u lot know it aint all women. me, i wud like if a guy has enuf money 2 take care of himself n not 2 get me gifts or wateva (dts what being daddys gurl's there for). if a guy has enuf money 2 take care of himself, look good, buy clothes for himself, he's good 2 go. i aint xpectin him 2 take care of me or wateva, juz love me.

but it wud be nice to know ur man can b there for u when u financially down. he can lend u som money n if u a self-respecting woman, u'll pay it back. dts what i think sha.

who wants to suffer? no one.nobody want to b a poor man.n dats why the guys dnt love d gals emotionally again but believe if they shower the gals with expensive gifts and cash thats enough.

@babymine
see! i told you so. lol! 

@lilnaomi
If you want to borrow money, go to the BANK!   

@Scondy, Its the first time i've read from a respectable lady in this forum

You are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo different from all the others!

Dats d in thing now, but i bet u there are a lot of dem different gurls too.

@scondy

u know i can't help but wonder what happened to our mindsets.i`m tallking about nigerian ladies.we`ve really derailed and the worst of it is we are not aware.no girl would date a guy now except he is well paid.
come to think of it,it never used to be like that.what happened to love.
to even think that we`ve found a modern word for prostituition.we call it Runs or we call ourselves Aristo or big girls.
what happened to our morals,our values.
its time we checked ourselves and retrace our steps back to where we belong.

Is this a summary of yourself or you are speaking for all the girls on this forum, i mean are all the girls on the forum doing the Aristo stuff, have all of y'all girls lost your values and morals,

dont generalize baby, ull confuse people.

Well even in my time it was like that.Boyfriend and sugar daddy hand in hand.
The Mothers did it before the daughters and it goes on from generation to generation.




I think that the stay home wire is dying out and more women go to school,it is important that a woman gets a man as educated or more educated than herself.
A man must be able to feed the family.
I was never into those" buy me shoe and buy me pant" style thats all i can say for myself.
I think it will really take a lot to impress me. And the bare necessities do not impress me.
Not that i don't like the good things in life or have it all.
But if i have to sell myself then at a very high prise.
And if i have to steal , it will not be a chicken it has to be worth it if i get caught.
I dont want to burn in hell for shoe and dress.

@ kimba,
i am not speaking about myself and its not as if i mean everygirl.Maybe u should read the post all over again and tune ur mind to read in between the lines and not the literary meaning.
using the word `we" is so that i wouldnt be puttin up an "holier than thou attitude". and to be frank any intellectual person would do same.

Scondy,

To be candid u have said a whole lot of truth. Fine there are few ladies out there that are not into money and money but love. I also want ladies to know that any guy u collect money from that ur relationship is not based on love, either now or later he must demand somethings from you. Be careful, Scondy has well spoken and she realised a trend of things that are not meant to be.

GOD BLESS SCONDY,

poster. may God bless you real good for this true talk. At a time i got somuch worried that i started asking can one every fined love without money? or can love be equal with money? somany Ninja ladies had becoming a waistbin all bcox of there love for money.

Yeah, it's true! Can't blame d gals eida, it's one of those tins that poverty/greed leads 'em to. Put d blame on Akon or d Devil. . .

Why should you allow your private parts to become public? —Rev.(Mrs.) Ugochi Jolomi
By JOSEPHINE IGBINOVIA
Friday, July 24, 2009
I NEVER envisaged I could end up in the ministry, but I realized that I was deeply interested in the things of God even as an adult. I later suddenly became the Sister Chord in the school campus fellowship. I got married immediately after graduation in 1999, and I joined my husband, Bishop Benson Jolomi, of Foundation Faith Church a.k.a. Salem, in the ministry in Lagos while also running my youth service.



http://odili.net/news/source/2009/jul/24/310.html

One thing breaks my heart concerning the average Nigerian woman today, and that’s the fact that she has not realized her place in God. I’ve read through the scripture and have seen what God did through women; when a woman submits her whole life to God, the potentials in her become impossible to be held back.


Rev. Mrs Ugochi Jolomi, teaches tolerance in marriage


Many women have agreed with the devil and tradition to remain under mediocrity. But thank God all of that is changing because there’s a lot of awareness going on in our world right now. However, I bleed when I still see some women go through terrible situations all because of their ignorance and unwillingness to come out of their shells and be all that they should be.

Another issue that breaks my heart is that women have reduced themselves to some kind of toys or robots. Why should a naked woman be the best tool for advertising a male neck tie? Because we’ve come to believe that our body is only good for making money, we have reduced ourselves to something I don’t understand.

When I see women in some outfits on the street, I wonder if they value their body. Why should you allow your private parts to become public? When I also see how women allow themselves to be used of the devil to destroy homes, my heart aches.

You don’t have to escalate issues when you already know a man and his wife are not doing well in their marriage. I hear some of these women say “He wasn’t getting what he was supposed to get from his wife, so I had to step in”, but that’s shocking.

You should rather be a solution to a falling marriage than add to the problem. However, I confidently believe the time is coming when righteousness will become a standard in our world because according to the Bible, “the knowledge of the Lord shall be as the water covers the sea”.

The word of God cannot lie, so I believe the said time is coming. As part of my contribution to the ministry, I head the Singles and Women Ministries in the Diocese. I’ve realized that many singles end up disappointed when they couldn’t get a partner at the end of a singles’ summit. So, they don’t want to come the next time.

For those believing God for a husband and are not seeing it coming forth, we encourage them to be patient. With faith and patience, everything will come to pass. You don’t have to rush into marriage wrongly because if you do, there’s every tendency that you’ll rush out.

It is better to wait patiently then enter into a wrong marriage. We had our singles summit in June 2009 with the theme ‘Responsibility’ which was borne out of my desire to let singles know that it takes a responsible person to get married; responsible in the sense that you’re able to make common sense judgement and must know why you want to get married.

Ifyou say you want to get married, how ready are you for marriage? Can you tolerate people? Are you ready for the disappointments?

You see, we come into marriage with a lot of expectations, forgetting that the person we’re getting married to is a human being just like us, and can make mistakes. Are you responsible enough to know this person is not a perfect being?

Do you know you should manage your finances well; that you don’t have to finish all what you earn; because money has caused a lot of things in marriages? Are you responsible enough to know that you should keep your body for Christ?

Do you know you should obey the scriptures when it comes to ‘Holy Living?’ Do you know that sex is ordained of God but only in marriage? If you lack responsibility in all these areas of your life and you go into marriage like that, they’re likely to cause a lot of troubles.

In the Women Ministry, we treat a lot of issues; we address creativity, empowerment, marriage, womanhood; taking your place as a wife but recognizing the fact that the man is the head of the family, etc. It’s fashionable to dress with half of your boobs out now, but you must know that the fashion trends of the world are not for believers.

You can’t dress like unbelievers and expect people to treat you differently. Hence, we teach our women to be ‘Total Women’. We have a yearly Women Conference, and the one for 2009 will be coming up in October. We also minister spiritually and materially to widows’.

topup:

Any smart woman thinks about the long term, whether her goals are to become rich or to have a successful marriage or future is her choice.

A lot of women are choosing wealth over love, Nigeria is a country in which there is little faith in democracy or the idea of every man being the same, having the same chances to advance in life. In Nigeria it seems like it's about who you know, who you can steal from, who you can bribe and who takes favour in you.

It doesn't encourage people to be hardworking or diligent or honest.

Love comes waaaay further down that list.

Personally, I would opt for love, I am good at providing for myself, but then again you get those men who feel threatened if their wives earn more than them.

You are so right about the Nigerian system and that's one of the reasons why our girls are like this. Hope we are not also forgeting the influence of the western culture and all these hollywood romantic movies and mtv love shows.

Men are not so threatened when their wives earn higher than them  as you would think.  Women don't know that the more you earn the more the man expects you to contribute to the family which most of our high earning women have been found wanting. How can you earn so much and still expect the man to give you money for clothes, money for hair, money for this and money that, this makes the man to start thinking that if i still do all these then what are you doing with all those your big earnings?

When the man starts seeing expensive items on the woman's body which he knows he is not the one who provided it like jewelleries then he starts seeing himself as a fool to the woman. 

I just wish most girls could be like you and some of the posters above and they will realise that men could  go to any length to provide for their wife if it willingly comes from their heart.

scondy:

u know i cant help but wonder what happened to our mindsets.i`m tallking about nigerian ladies.we`ve really derailed and the worst of it is we are not aware.no girl would date a guy now except he is well paid.
come to think of it,it never used to be like that.what happened to love.
to even think that we`ve found a modern word for prostituition.we call it Runs or we call ourselves Aristo or big girls.
what happened to our morals,our values.
its time we checked ourselves and retrace our steps back to where we belong.

Glad that woman like u still exist.

lilnaomi:

abeg i hope u lot know it aint all women. me, i wud like if a guy has enuf money 2 take care of himself n not 2 get me gifts or wateva (dts what being daddys gurl's there for). if a guy has enuf money 2 take care of himself, look good, buy clothes for himself, he's good 2 go. i aint xpectin him 2 take care of me or wateva, juz love me.

but it wud be nice to know ur man can b there for u when u financially down. he can lend u som money n if u a self-respecting woman, u'll pay it back. dts what i think sha.

I do understand where u are coming from, though very few women have ur view.

scondy:

u know i cant help but wonder what happened to our mindsets.i`m tallking about nigerian ladies.we`ve really derailed and the worst of it is we are not aware.no girl would date a guy now except he is well paid.
come to think of it,it never used to be like that.what happened to love.
to even think that we`ve found a modern word for prostituition.we call it Runs or we call ourselves Aristo or big girls.
what happened to our morals,our values.
its time we checked ourselves and retrace our steps back to where we belong.

It is a warped thinking on the
part of such ladies and I'm not
surprised though.

Well, you sad it all but individual
with the right mindset can start to
help such ladies around us.

I believe this can help reduce the
ugly trend a bit.

and guess what? that's Y hundreds of them ar out single @35. Check www.Nairalist.com

Baby gurl , dat was nicely tot out ,it means u utilize ur tim very wel unlike most losers on NL.bt tak note ur record is being taken just incase u post sumtin dat wil get u enemies. Wel @post, Naija nids 2 change, how are we 2 do dat?

scondy:

u know i cant help but wonder what happened to our mindsets.i`m tallking about nigerian ladies.we`ve really derailed and the worst of it is we are not aware.no girl would date a guy now except he is well paid.[/b]come to think of it,it never used to be like that.what happened to love.
to even think that [b]we`ve found a modern word for prostituition.we call it Runs or we call ourselves Aristo or big girls.
what happened to our morals,our values.
its time we checked ourselves and retrace our steps back to where we belong.

Ok. You need to speak for yourself and not for us. Why the generalization?
How do people like you so quickly forget the thousands of women who have married men who make next to nothing and have stuck faithfully by them through thick and thin?
You need to sit yourself down and ask yourself all those questions.

@op
its not all gels now. . .lol

@topup
ba wo ni, its been ages o!