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Ladies!what Happenned To Us. - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by Nobody: 4:25am On Jul 27, 2009
i`m tallking about nigerian ladies.no girl would date a guy now except he is well paid.

does this mean poor naija dudes are finding it impossible to get a date or marry?
Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by Pharoh: 5:19am On Jul 27, 2009
tpia.:

does this mean poor naija dudes are finding it impossible to get a date or marry?

It affects both parties but fom the article we can conclude that it affects the ladies more and we are talkng about nigerians in the diaspora and not back home.

topup:

Being single @ 35 can have as much to do with the number of serious and committed men out there interested in 35 year old women as it does in the mentality of the women. Who knows maybe they have standards now tongue.

I doubt any woman who has a game plan for her life or isn't smart will be single at 35 because it's simple for her to give into the pressure and get with any random guy just so she will have a man in her life. A smart woman is more likely to remain single until she finds the right man, whether she is 35 or not.

  I agree with you topup but let us look at it from another angle so check this out. What do we mean by the right guy
from the point of view of our culture and soceity? Back in those days most ladies don't have a choice as in  who to marry, they are just given to any man who can provide for the home by farming or can take care of the woman. Now we have moved away from farming and i bet no girl will want to marry a nigerian farmer if she is a graduate.

  What i am trying to say is that our soceity doesn't care about  right guy especially our parents. They just want you to get married and provide grand children for them. They want you to get married to they can point to you as a responsible woman. their standard for a right man is far too low compared to the taste of our girls these days. they want you to start from somewhere and believe it will get better someday but our girls don't want to go through to the university and start from somewhere again. Some of our men could be bad but the soceity says the woman should accept him and bear it all. But girls of these days are wise and will not even take 10 percent of the shit our mothers take. The girls also should reduce their taste and try to be more african.

I believe why girls don't get husband in the diaspora is more complicated than what was presented in this article.
Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by oyinda3(f): 5:20am On Jul 27, 2009
what's it with all these marry marry topics sef.
Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by Pharoh: 5:22am On Jul 27, 2009
oyinda.:

what's it with all these marry marry topics sef.

It is a serious matter oooo thats why.
Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by oyinda3(f): 5:24am On Jul 27, 2009
marriage is not compulsory u kno. if you no find husband just adopt two cats that's what the old single ladies do
Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by C2H5OH(f): 5:26am On Jul 27, 2009
lmfao i pity you already. is that what you are going to do? early menopause is no joke o
Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by oyinda3(f): 5:33am On Jul 27, 2009
wetin be early menopause. two cats kids are enough for any woman. gone are the days when women give birth to 7,8,9. . .
get with the times man
Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by Pharoh: 6:09am On Jul 27, 2009
oyinda.:

marriage is not compulsory u kno. if you no find husband just adopt two cats that's what the old single ladies do

Not in our African society
Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by oyinda3(f): 6:15am On Jul 27, 2009
lol. i can imagine. woman rearing olongbo for house for naija na winch.
Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by biola44: 8:19am On Jul 27, 2009
i think d family institution has failed!
Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by j4steady: 8:31am On Jul 27, 2009
Hmm
The poster must have been trained by a mother that have great homly values.
Well for a start,no woman wants to work much again and tehy all belive that emn should be the one providing all.Even those working still have this attitude it all boils down to nagative civilisation, prostitution is now given funkified names and people open their legs for money,a trip to somewhere expensive and stuff,

But nevertheless there are still some good weomen out there that loves naturally.
Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by topup: 9:24pm On Jul 27, 2009
netotse:

@topup
ba wo ni, its been ages o!

Netotse, I didn't go anywere, maybe iwo ni o lo si ibikon imi. I'm good smiley

Pharoh:

I agree with you topup but let us look at it from another angle so check this out. What do we mean by the right guy
from the point of view of our culture and soceity? Back in those days most ladies don't have a choice as in  who to marry, they are just given to any man who can provide for the home by farming or can take care of the woman. Now we have moved away from farming and i bet no girl will want to marry a nigerian farmer if she is a graduate.

  What i am trying to say is that our soceity doesn't care about  right guy especially our parents. They just want you to get married and provide grand children for them. They want you to get married to they can point to you as a responsible woman. their standard for a right man is far too low compared to the taste of our girls these days. they want you to start from somewhere and believe it will get better someday but our girls don't want to go through to the university and start from somewhere again. Some of our men could be bad but the soceity says the woman should accept him and bear it all. But girls of these days are wise and will not even take 10 percent of the shit our mothers take. The girls also should reduce their taste and try to be more african.

I believe why girls don't get husband in the diaspora is more complicated than what was presented in this article.

There is no definition of 'the right guy' it has to be within the definition of the person who is viewing that guy. Yes, you're right, we are less influenced by our parents now, as the whole society is moving towards wealth, parents will rather their children aim for academic and financial success before they start advising that the child should settle down.

Whilst my grandmother got married at the age of 18 had my mother and then started working, my mother graduated from university, started working as a doctor and then had my siblings and I. This way her parents knew that she not only made the most of herself, but then she can provide for them, which is honestly what most parents in Nigeria want.

I think 'back in those days' like you said, there wasn't a mention of the right man from the woman concerned because her parents chose for her, but still there was 'the right man', it's just the conditions were different, people were less unaware about the ladder which lead to the bigger picture of wealth, wealth for them would have been a succesfully run compound, lots of children to harvest and work on the farm and enough food and sufficient money to buy clothes. Now the idea of wealth has become more 21st century, it's now the multiple cars, the business or becoming a boss of a company, earning a fantastic salary, and maybe buying the parents a car or building them a home.

Because of our desire to become wealthier as a country, parents are becoming more lenient on their daughters (which is good), a successful career woman is no longer an eyebrow raiser or concern.

However, the final issue is that she must marry, or else in her parents eyes, it has all been in vain.
Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by johnnygan(m): 9:40pm On Jul 27, 2009
@topic
for the very first time, ladies are making sense wit dis post. Ladies Pls out wit da acts. I rest my case

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