About two years ago I was passing along Oshodi road and I saw a nice looking gentleman, well dressed and obviously educated asking a passe-by to give him N20. The latter ignored him and thinking that the guy was stranded and moved by pity, without being asked I handed over a N20 note to this young man and I continued my journey. About an hour later on my return journey, at the same spot this guy was still there asking for N20. I stopped and told him how disappointed I was in him, that I thought he was stranded, not knowing he was a professional beggar. He made a face at me and turned his back. I walked away.

About a month later I saw this guy around the same place and I positioned myself so he would ask me for N20. He did and I asked him if he had N100 change, after some seconds of hesitation he answered in the affirmative and I asked him why he was begging for N20 if he had N100. I told him to go and work and he ignored me. In short, every time I had passed through Oshodi since 2006 I’d always seen this guy doing his thing. I later decided to mind my own business by ignoring him. Interestingly, the guy looks more robust and fresher than I first knew him over a year ago. Sometime in January I noticed he had changed his base to Awolowo Way in Ikeja. (perhaps some other busy bodies like me did not let him be) and twice I have seen him at his ‘new office address’

Recently I got a invitation from a bosom friend to join her family at the Introduction Ceremony of her kid sister which was slated for last Saturday. I was there and when the groom to be emerged, he happened to be my ‘beggar friend’! Thinkin I wasn't seeing well, I wiped my face and looked again, he was, of course, the one. I was shocked to the marrow but I controlled myself. The duo made a perfect couple! The ‘iyawo’ was full of excitement and they were obviously in love. I later stylishly and carefully interrogated my friend about who her in-law to be was and I was told the guy is an Engineer with the Lagos State Government(?). In short, the wedding date has been fixed for May this year

Now, if you were in my shoes. would you spill the beans? If yes, to whom? The parents, sister or the lady concerned? God knows I wouldn’t want to spoil the joy of this young lady but at the same time I can’t allow this deceit to go on. People, what should I do?

wow! am speechless well I’d advice you to keep your mouth shut. People hardly thank u 4 giving them dis kind of info

Na wa o wonder shall never end, maybe when next u see him doing same bussiness do try and take the wife, parent or even your there to see with their own eyes.

debbra:

Na wa o wonder shall never end, maybe when next u see him doing same bussiness do try and take the wife, parent or even your there to see with their own eyes.

@ debbra, you share the same view with my husband. He's of the opinion that I should stylishly arrange one 'not important' outing with my friend and make sure we pass through his usual spots. Maybe it would be better if a member of their family finds out, shay?

i concur.stage an ambush for the guy.cos if u tell without proof,they gonna think you just want to spoil their show.

@ Topic
beggar Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I just want to believe its not the same guy.

Its just too funny to be true

@poster this is some huge joke oh

hi,i dont think telling anyone is the right way to go about it,the guy was only begging and not an armed robber or yahoo yahoo guy or 419,dyu realise the kind of pressures on the guy to pay for a wedding,provide for a wife and he might also have some problems you dont know about which is connected to finances,ill advice you to speak to the guy in private,get him to tell you why he s doing the whole begging and to promise you within a time frame to stop the whole begging thing or else you ll report to the wife rather than telling the wife and family now cause the end result will be a lot of unhappy people, dont let us forget nigeria and the stress is not easy and soo many people we r looking at as respectable have done worse stuffs than the guy s doing

@ Lucabrasi,
In as much as I agree with you about the economic hardship in Nigeria, I refuse to believe that an able-bodied YOUNG man should resove to begging for close to years if not more! I could trace the first time I saw him to April 2006 (because of what I went to buy was for an occasion I still remember) and he has done the same thing CONSISTENTLY to date. Who knows for how long he has been begging before I saw him?

I know 'begging' is better than robbery/419/yahoo-yahoo, nevertheless, why hasn't he done something with what he has made these sevaral months? The guy must be lazy and is probably a gold digger (the iyawo is earning fat salary). I wouldn't be surprised if he eventually swindles her. Free money don sweet am and he don trowey shame! In as much as I wouldn't want to spoil the lady's joy, I would feel guilty if they get married and she later finds out and becomes heartbroken as a result. why is the guy living a lie? Who knows how many other things he's hiding from the poor girl? He's probably married with kids somewhere for all you care! A beg I dey vex!

its much better to keep ur mouth shot cos the wife will never say thank you for ruining her joy but on the other hand u can arrange some click for the wife to see herself cos i can see that u cant stand it

tell ur friend before that wedding takes place pls.
That guy has already told one LIE - that he is an engineer when he has no job. What other lie has he told that u dont know about yet?

Pls save ur friend from disaster.

Tell ur friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ titilaelae

That's actually a very sad story, both for the girl ("fiancee" and her family. But such is life, not a bed of roses at all.

Well if you ask me, i think you should do like other people here already adviced, put up a scene . . go make sure he still keeps to his spot, invite your friend on an outing that requires you taking that path and when you get an eye on him, turn surprised and ask "Isn't that your brother-in-law" Let fate take care of the rest . .

If you go by the decision of telling your friend directly, the chances of her believing you is slight, you might end up being an enemy to the family for a long time, being tagged the enemy of progress, seen as a pathelogical liar . . remember it would be your word against his when you lack proof and what makes you believe or think that he would own up to what you're accusing him of??

You have a chance of eating your cake and having it, the guy would be seen for the miserable person he really is, without you having to lift more than a necessary finger

None of my business really.  Let them work it out.  You saw the 'beggar" side of the man.  The "fiance" saw the "husband" side of the man.  She will soon reconcile both notions without your help.

Things have a way of working themselves out--for better for worse.  Not ma place to.  It was her responsibility and that of her family to find out what the guy does for a living.  Since she did not, then let her deal with it when she finds out.  For all you know the "beggar" spouse has used all his savings to open a "business".

I wish them happy married life jare.  At least she is not marrying an armed robber.

Frankly, that is their wahala!

i'll advice u not to attend the wedding ceremony, u know why? the pastor he's going to ask "who by the way have a reason why this couple should not get married" and if no such person like u(titi) the secret will die in u, so if u refuse to voice it out may to the pastor secretly this  is your destination (below attachment)

@poster,i can't wish for such a husband for my worst enemy.
there is a way to say it without actually saying something.
you know the grooms new office rite?ask either the mum of the bride or the bride herself to go with you to anywhere close to his new office.hopefully,they would see things for themselves,you would just be an angel and not an amebo.
i really wonder oooooooooooooh,what do we even know about ourseleves  what a way to go abt marriage these dayz.
chaiiiiiii imagine rubbish !
on a second thought though,how are you sure that the brides family don't even know his real profession?they might just be hiding it from you ? i say na wao  

Lmao. He's probably cursed.

No be Nigeria? Rofl.

Is begging as a profession a reason to object to a marriage?   You do not even know if the fiance knows about his "profession".

I personally will not want to know.  As we have got to this stage, the show must go on.  I can divorce him later.

You guys are writing your own here ooooooooooooh!  This babe don see husband. Is it easy to find in Nigeria these days?

what would be the point of the show ofe wedding just to divorce later dfor a problem she could have known beforehand.

Anyway I agree with the ambush thing. Seriously maybe the dude is cursed.

titilaelae:

@ Lucabrasi,
In as much as I agree with you about the economic hardship in Nigeria, I refuse to believe that an able-bodied YOUNG man should resove to begging for close to years if not more! I could trace the first time I saw him to April 2006 (because of what I went to buy was for an occasion I still remember) and he has done the same thing CONSISTENTLY to date. Who knows for how long he has been begging before I saw him?

I know 'begging' is better than robbery/419/yahoo-yahoo, nevertheless, why hasn't he done something with what he has made these sevaral months? The guy must be lazy and is probably a gold digger (the iyawo is earning fat salary). I wouldn't be surprised if he eventually swindles her. Free money don sweet am and he don trowey shame! In as much as I wouldn't want to spoil the lady's joy, I would feel guilty if they get married and she later finds out and becomes heartbroken as a result. why is the guy living a lie? Who knows how many other things he's hiding from the poor girl? He's probably married with kids somewhere for all you care! A beg I dey vex!

i get what you r saying and it definitely not cool but what are the chances that the next guy your friend hooks up with wouldnt be into smthing worse and you or anyone might not be in a position to discover?if you had a talk with the guy and gave him an ultimatum that might shock him straight and apart from the guy changing his ways ,you would have saved both the guy from his ways and your friend's relationship and happiness, i know a family friend who was a common driver and by a stroke of luck is realli wealthy today amongst other examples so no one knows tmorrow,what ll your friend say if tmorrow the guy ends up being loaded after they v broken up?we all have negatives and bad vices some worse and some not as bad as the guy in question so i think he deserves to be given at least a chance to change,besides there are loads easier scams an able bodied man can get up to in lagos than begging in the hot burning sun with some people throwing insults and stuffs his way, so im thinking the guy might be a good person at heart having not sucumbed to smthn realli deadly to earn a living,the whole begging thing is not enuff to break up an impending wedding,if this had happened in the western world,people are not as judgemental and will realli check out where the guy is coming from, blessed are the peacemakers

Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

something is about to happeeeeeeeeeeen.
goinggggggggg, goooooiiiiiiiiing,
I'll be back

Hello,
Its quite a shocking one i must let you know, the way you react
should be based on the relationship you have with the family
in questions and also the background of the family,if they are the
kinda family that would listen to the truth if they hear one.Are they
Muslims or Christian cos am aware that churches and mosques nowadays
have wedding programs which gives room for them to interview the
couple to be and also find out things about them before going ahead
with the wedding program.
i think what you need to do is speak freely with the bride-to-be
not telling her what you know, but to ask about few things she knows
about her hobby-to-be, things like where they met,what he does,
how he spend his days, how many times has she visited him in his office,
how many of her friends does she know and how many occassions have
they attended together and things like that.If her response to this is
not that passuasive you'll need to talk to your friend, asking her the
same thing. When you do this they might get to talk to each other
(i mean the sisters)then their attention will be drawn to the matter,
which will make them tread with caution, because if the wedding
eventually hold without you telling them what you know
and things went rough, then your imformation would not be valuable,
and to be honest with you, the family will not appreciate such kinda gesture
what you'll head is that you have a live-saving information within your reach
and you concealed it within yourself, they'll start calling you all sort of names
that your parents never gave you at birth.
But one fact still remain that whatever you do, you'll have to be very diplomatic
about it so as not to run into trouble while trying to help.
And finally if you dont know how to go about it, see the bride to be as your younger
sister and let you instint guide you through.
Once again, above all be very diplomatic about the way you go about it, or also
seek elders' advice

Do what you would if she is your own sister, depends anyway on the level of relationship between you anyway but if you are close friends then do what you is she's your sister.

Honestly i find this hard to believe, its quite funny. Whatever the situation is begging is definitely out of it and with the fact that the bride to be herself earns fat salary he sure could do something better than begging.

A Husband who begs?

That is the lowest form next to politicans and armed robbers

Make I chop sand first then beg.

this is really sad! this kind of a man is not good for any lady to take as a husband. not becos he begs, no, but becos it will be a marriage founded on deceit. no matter how painful it will be for the lady concerned, i strongly dont think this wedding should hold. if it can be avoided then it should be avoided. this wedding should not be allowed to hold pls

Maybe its his twin brother that begs? Seriously, take beejazzy's advice.

Well, i would be tempted to keep ma gub shut but when it involves someone i know, then tere is a problem.

You have to tell someone, maybe an elderly person in their family or whatever.

Please let the iyawo or her sister know somehow. Don't keep your mouth shut. I would definately want to know if I were in her shoes. Yes, it would hurt and be a very painful thing to go through but I would rather be safe than sorry. Nevertheless, in the future, I can bet you that if something goes wrong between the two (I reject that for them), he would open his mouth and say you knew something about it, which would make matters much worse. All in all, let widsom from above be your guide. By the way, when he saw you at the introduction, what was his reaction?

just maybe they already know.
if that thad been my good friend i would have ask the man in front of all of them

Unfortunately you just have to keep mute. If you are compelled to share the mystery then I'd suggest you go ahead and talk with an elderly person who you seem to be unbiased towards the couple. Its hard!!

Even if you did not keep your mouth shut, how are you certain that his prospective inlaws would be quick to repudiate his beggarly actions? You never know. Please stay out of it, or if you really want to prove a point, take the girl with you to the venue, so that the guy can be 'caught' in the act.