I was dating a girl for about three months, everything was going great, i mean really great then out of no where she just breaks everything off. She said she needed time to find herself. She had just gotten out of a serious relationship about a month before we started dating so I understood and was more than willing to give her time but she kept calling and coming over. She would be all great one day then pretty much not talk the next day. I was so and am so confused. She wanted me to be her friend so that's what I tried to do but she would still want to kiss and hug and all that. Then she just broke it off the next day after we spent a wonderful evening together. She returned everything and now won't even talk to me in passing. I have no idea if she has any intentions of coming back to me or what? I have made myself available completly to her but she just ignores me. I went over to her house to check on her because she looked upset when I got there she was warm and receptive and told me she was having a bad day. Now I haven't heard from her at all even though she said she was going to stop over yesterday. (She lives right across the street) Can anyone give me any insight on where I stand or what I should do? I am holding out because I really care about her and I don't want to give up on us if there is still a chance we could pick up somewhere. Most of all would someone be able to tell me if this is normal for her to do this. It is so confusing because we seemed so right and it seems like she wants to be with me but she is holding herself back for some reason. Any insight would be greatly appreciated,

@poster
There are several ways to 'kill a rat' if I must borrow that phrase.
But is it the girl you're missing or the hugging and kissing?

I would proceed on the basis that you want a serious r/lshp even though I do not knw your intentions.

Ignore her completely (if you can hold out) for as long as it takes.
Let her do the chasing if you dey hungry am!
And when she comes around, ignore her advances, give her the same treatment she gives you.
Nothing as instructing as a reversed pain. And be a little meaner and colder than hers (if you fit )
And when she demands an explanation, let her know that you are not a tool she plays with any time she is in the mood.

The 2nd way you might approach the issue is a direct, frank confrontation where you dig in with the relevant questions to find out from the lady in question what her problems are.
Unfortunately, some ladies might not be frank with you esp a confused one.

I prefer the 1st method above but you need some balls to do that. And may I add that it seems you are all soft and jelly around the girl.
That is why it seems like she has a lot of time and she takes you for granted.

Be tough my guy. And at the same time supportive.
Ladies respect tough men more than softies.

i guess she isnt talking to you because in my opinion she sensed some level of desperation in you.

DESPERATION to take her to bed, i guess thats putting her off, it seems you were in too much hurry to get in between her legs

solution

opokonwa:


Ignore her completely (if you can hold out) for as long as it takes.
Let her do the chasing if you dey hungry am!
And when she comes around, ignore her advances, give her the same treatment she gives you.
Nothing as instructing as a reversed pain. And be a little meaner and colder than hers (if you fit )
And when she demands an explanation, let her know that you are not a tool she plays with any time she is in the mood.
Be tough my guy.

Nothing as instructing as a reversed pain. And be a little meaner and colder than hers (if you fit )
And when she demands an explanation, let her know that you are not a tool she plays with any time she is in the mood.

@opokonwa
Otito Oro! Truth talk

You are not a toy dont allow her to play you. She sounds emotionally messed up. I think you guys started dating way too soon after her breakup. Im sure you feel like shes the one for you but the last thing you want is to start seeing her with other guys while you were waiting on the sidelines. Take a step back ignore her forget about her. If she really wants you she will come begging if you take her back just let her know the first signs of any emotional games shes going out of the door.

Thanks guys, though will be very difficult to ignore her but what else can l do, l take all the blame l guess l fall too fast and easilly for her

move on. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

IF you want something so bad, let it go, if its rightly yours it would find its way back to you.
Let her be, give her time to figure out if she want to be with you, I think she is taking her time to do that but you are not giving her enough space and its really getting her brain all frosty.

Try not to see her, dont even give her a call, maybe a simple sms msg a day if you are totally scared of burning your communication bridge with her, like "I hope your day was great", "I hope you have a more brighter day". But I think this is not call for, just let her be cause its like she's making your work yourself out.

Remember my friend, When Love Hurts, It Wouldnt Work!

@poster,

[b]Your girl maybe heartbroken. Suffering from heartache of her past relationship. She is taking her time to heal. She adores you obviously thats why she wants to hug and kiss you when you guys see, she is happy to be around you but for that pain!!!!! maybe she has not gotten over her ex completely she is probably still wishing and hoping he comes after her sooner or later. She avoids you because she does not want to hurt your feelings when that happens.

It maybe a love triangle, you are in love with her and she in turn with another. We women can be very complex, just talk to her, make her come clean and you will know where you stand ok.

I do not agree with the poster who said when love hurts its obvious it would not work or something like that. We as human beigns are not perfect, so when you fall in love with a beign expect dissapointments, heartaches etc it cannot be perfect because we are humans ok, you would cry, laugh, celebrate, mourn etc in love. Its not joyous everyday. Thats how i see it. [/b]