Jokesmania - Jokes Etc (6) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Jokesmania (20726 Views)
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| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 10:37am On Apr 03, 2013 |
One Ibadan girl just said TFC & KFC are twin brothers - Taiwo & Kehinde Fried Chicken. I'm Crying Ooº°˚º° Weather for 2 Abi? If U know how expensive SMA Gold, Pampers & Skul Fees 4 Daycare is, U will shut up, drink hot tea & sleep!  Wear tatoo gbangba like learners permit, paint lips like Metro cab, nails like fuel nozzle, and u say u want a God fearing man, God sef dey fear u nah. U dey speak grammar like Hon. Obahiagbon, u need to be flown to Germany for Vocabulary Transplant. U're sick! U sef dey understand the man? Tehehehehe - Laff wan make me Lose ma Virginity Goodmorning NL - Am Back  |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 10:43am On Apr 03, 2013 |
Do you know the relation between two eyes? They never see each other ....... BUT 1. They blink together. 2. They move together. 3. They cry together. 4. They see things together. 5. They sleep together. They share a very deep bonded relationship. However, when they see a woman, one will blink and another will not. Moral of the story: Woman can break any kind of relationship! 2 Likes |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 10:48am On Apr 03, 2013 |
Lawyer : now woman tell us why you killed your husband. Woman : I was in my sitting room when my husband came in, he rush me nd drag me on top of d bed, he remove my cloth, and started romancing me by touching my breast and my 'V' parts. He spread my 2 legs and when i was ready 4 sex, he told me April fool! Judge : What! Dat fool deserve 2 die!... 1 Like |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 10:52am On Apr 03, 2013 |
Akpos was toasting a girl. After everything the girl asked him, "Are you in school and what course are you studying because I can't date an Illiterate o?. Akpos lied to her, and said "Yes I am in school and I'm studying food science". 2weeks later, the girl saw Akpos washing plates in a local restaurant. *Shocked* Gosh what are U doing here? Akpos smiled and said, "AM DOING MY I.T" |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 10:56am On Apr 03, 2013 |
Little Johnny was sitting in the park one day eating chocolate bars. An old man comes along and sits next to him. Little Johnny proceeds to eat more bars. After the forth bar the man says to him don't you think your eating too many chocolate bars. Little Johnny says to him my grandfather lived to be 110 years old. The old man looking surprised said really from eating a lot of chocolate bars like that. Little Johnny says no from minding his own farking business |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 11:43am On Apr 04, 2013 |
O boy! As Blackberry don chop my money tire, na im I come vex yesterday sell am, come take some money buy China phone! Now am in bigger trouble! 1. It gets full after 3 minutes of charging. 2. The phone has TV, Touch screen, Nail cutter, firelighter etc. 3. Text message can be written with a toothpick. 4. There are some spelling mistakes e.g NokLa, blackderry, i-porn, samswag etc. 5. When an aeroplane passes by it records "One missed call" . 6. When a big truck hoots; it records "Charger connected". 7. When a Chinese man passes by you it says: "One Bluetooth device found". 8. When a fine gal passes by u, it says "Ur favorite food found". 9. When an ugly gal passes, it says, "Virus detected". Abeg I wan sell am! Who wan buy ooo? Even as I dey find buyer, e dey show me for screen: "No contact found, u are hooked with me" 2 Likes |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 12:20pm On Apr 04, 2013 |
Kelvin: My grlfriend broke up with me and sent me her pictures with her new boyfrnd Farking. Emeka: really bad! What did u do then? Kelvin: I sent it 2 her dad Ofcourse. ........................... Teacher:- All Ediots stand up, **Only Akpos Stood up. Teacher:- So you are an Ediot? Akpos :- No Ma, I Just can't bear you Standing up Alone .......................... Emeka pours Honey on his Eyes before he Sleeps so he can have Sweet Dream .......................... Teacher: If a person from Nigeria is a Nigerian, then what's a person from Holland called?.. John : Hollandia ......................... A girl singing in Bus. Felix: Why cant you sing in radio. GirL: Am i singing that good. Felix: I mean, we can at least put off the radio. ........................ Teacher: Oko, ur composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? Oko: No, teacher, it's the same dog! ........................... Teacher: Complete dis proverb - The down fall of a man... Sunday: if he's not blind, then he needs eye glasses ........................... Teacher: Dani, if your father earned $100,000 and gave half of it to your mother, what would she have? Dani: A heart attack! N/B : Some Jokes On this Page are quite Old -- We Love Reminiscence |
| Re: Jokesmania by ballol(m): 4:01pm On Apr 04, 2013 |
El Guapo:  [quote Release from ATM Ke. |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 10:29am On Apr 05, 2013 |
ballol: Awaiting Trial Male - The guy was a Criminal |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 9:12am On Apr 06, 2013 |
One Day, the punny decided to tour the body, On its way, it found the Kidney and asked ''Who are U?'', ''Am Kidney'' replied the other fellow, ''Its not u that am looking for!'' said the Punny, as he continued his tour. The punny found the Lungs and asked ''Who're u?'', ''Am the famous Lung, haven't u heard about me?'' replied the Lungs, to which the punny replied ''Its ok, u're not the One am looking for'' and he continued his tour. He got to a Junction and saw the heart and asked ''Who are u?'', ''Am the heart'' replied it. "COME here, Its You that i've been Looking For, I Have to Deal with you Accordingly!" The Heart was Surprised and asked,"What have I done?" The Punny Replied, "You go falling in Love with everybody, and at the end of It am the One Who actually Get Screwed! Goodmawning NL ♥ 1 Like |
| Re: Jokesmania by sKeetz(m): 10:40am On Apr 06, 2013 |
1 Like |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 4:50pm On Apr 06, 2013 |
El Guapo: One Day, the punny decided to tour the body, On its way, it found the Kidney and asked ''Who are U?'', ''Am Kidney'' replied the other fellow, ''Its not u that am looking for!'' said the Punny, as he continued his tour. [size=38pt]LMFAO![/size] Hilarious!!!!! So this is where you have been hiding m'love?  I'm definitely going to bookmark this!! |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 4:50pm On Apr 06, 2013 |
sKeetz: lol i'm telling you..he is not well! and btw imagine the "punny" being a "he". wtf? |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 4:52pm On Apr 06, 2013 |
El Guapo: O boy! As Blackberry don chop my money tire, na im I come vex yesterday sell am, come take some money buy China phone! lol..top of the line BOOTLEG! |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 4:54pm On Apr 06, 2013 |
El Guapo: Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case. MOGUL.O: |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 5:56am On Apr 07, 2013 |
MsDarkSkin: Yeah honey, got plans to run the thread til December. Also Serves as an Optional resort away from that house nagging Hotie Tima is, U and I can Get 'Laid' here |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 3:17pm On Apr 07, 2013 |
El Guapo: lol.  please continue it. i like this thread. it's hilarious!! |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 6:42pm On Apr 07, 2013 |
MsDarkSkin: |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 3:08pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Akpos was being discharged from Mathare Mental Hospital after doctors thought he was finally back to normal, he was put in an ambulance to be taken back home. He claimed he knew the house so he led the doctors. They took him to lekki as he claimed thats where he lived. just as they approached a certain house 2 kids dressed in uniforms came out of the house, akpos screamed, "those are my children going to school". A minute later a woman came out of the same house and akpos screamed "that's my wife, she is late for work." This time the doctors were convinced akpos was ok and took him out of the ambulance but was still in chains. just as they were about unlocking the chains, a man came out of the house and akpos screamed "Yes now thats me going for work." |
| Re: Jokesmania by Airforce1(m): 4:30pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Nigga OP stop posting jokez please cuz they not funny enough to make a crying baby smile |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 4:54pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Airforce1: Nigga OP I Wonder if u're dead, cos u aint On point anymore |
| Re: Jokesmania by StudioCFR(m): 5:04pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Stop copy pasting and give us something fresh? We're tired of your recycled jokes |
| Re: Jokesmania by adexsimply(m): 5:41pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Studio CFR: Stop copy pasting and give us something fresh?is anyone forcing them on you  |
| Re: Jokesmania by StudioCFR(m): 5:56pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Face your front jor |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 8:07pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Nollywood has Influenced us too much these days. I murder Cockroaches by covering their face with a Pillow and pressing hard. I owe my life to Tonto Dike. I was in coma for 3 weeks when the Nurse played her Song on her phone. I had to stand up to remove her battery! Nollywood please na |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 8:10pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Studio CFR: Stop copy pasting and give us something fresh? Choi! Lost but found  My Thread must be a Witch... Waking the Dead?! |
| Re: Jokesmania by jackpot(f): 11:51pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Studio CFR: Stop copy pasting and give us something fresh?*goes over to where Studio is, kicks his potbelly and shoves him inside gutter*  |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 9:17am On Apr 10, 2013 |
jackpot: *goes over to where Studio is, kicks his potbelly and shoves him inside gutter* Sometimes i wonder why some Peeps would wanna Mimic Christ - Dying and tryna Live again |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 9:23am On Apr 10, 2013 |
Niger Delta militant - 75k/month, Boko Haram - 100k/month, NYSC - 19,800/month. Dont be deceived, choose your career wisely... GoodMorning NL |
| Re: Jokesmania by Nobody: 9:34am On Apr 10, 2013 |
...and the Story wont end -- Jackpot tryna Impress the Ladies 1 Like
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| Re: Jokesmania by jackpot(f): 11:57pm On Apr 11, 2013 |
El Guapo's Spanish Wife mad at him for always coming home late. . .Waiting to finish him off this time around. 
|
| Re: Jokesmania by sKeetz(m): 12:01am On Apr 12, 2013 |
^^^where is the joke |
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