bjcole: @ Op, i hope u r not looking 4 trouble, these women will attack u, hope u r ready? Well to answer ur question, doing a house chores is not a big deal, its ur house, when both husband & wife join hands together, the tasks become easier, however u dont take a house chores as a responbility u share wit ur wife, it shoud be out of freewill, u ve ur major financial roles to take care.

coogar:

what has having a mother or not having gotta do with this? women are the same everywhere unless of course you are one dark-skinned hermaphrodite!



moving furnitures, heavy lifting, installation of electrical units, etc. sciences like cooking, washing, cleaning are feminine chores. everyone should play his/her position. if my wife's car breaks down 30 miles away, my duty is to drive down there and give her my own car to continue her journey while i sort her vehicle out - just like i expect to meet a steamy bowl of jollof rice after work every evening.

greatgod2012: I intentionally ignored this thread, because, i knew its going to turn into war zone.

Thay being said, i will say, everybody should do what seems right in one's sight to make d marriage work. Marriage is not child's play, it requires maturity, understanding, tolerance and compromise.
If d hubby is matured enough to know that, he doesnt have to let d wife work herself to death in d house, d4, she should be assisted, then d wife must also be matured enough to appreciate d man and not always impose it on d man.
If d man doesnt help d woman in household chores, d woman should understand d ego of d man and tolerate him, doing what she is capable to do, not overworking herself to death,which means, that shouldnt be a reason to file for divorce.
Marriage is either simple or complex, depending on d type of individuals involved in a certain marriage.
As far as im concerned, my man helped me in household chores, but i have never and will never impose it on him or remind him about one, hes always d one that decide which one to help me out with.
Above all, no two marriages are d same,everyone should try and make his/her marriage work.........im tired of talking about housechores again, whichever anyone wants, let him/her do.
May God help us all.

fellis: I had wanted to reply the above post but after reading greadgod's comment and this part of coogar's post
I decided not to.
The dude is obviously the type of person that would make any illogical statement and even insult his mother rather than admit he is wrong.

bukatyne: Lol at strategising? @no 4, you don't expect your wife to contribute at all?

bukatyne: I don't want to attack you but ask some honest questions:
1. When your wife is doing the chores and you are at home, what do you do?
2. When you are both back from work and she is preparing the meals, what do you do?
3. Before you got married, who helped you with chores? and if nobody, what has changed now?
4. Do you think it's your wife's duty to contribute financially to your expenses @ home?

thanks.

oradee: many men comment bout protecting and providing financially yet i know quite a number of men whose wife pays partly/fully the rents, takes up either dstv/fuel bills,clothing for the kids sometimes,etc...how much do all men earn that they brag bout their financial role?

yet whether u earn a monthly paycheck or not (salary workers),whether u look for contracts and u find or not, ualways expect a home cooked meal,neat appartment and a home u can go to,yet all she asks for is assistance...not thats shes tranfering her responsibiliies permanatly to u...

lukaino: I think one should help out of one's free will.

lukaino: Many times we hear women complain about men not helping out with any of the domestic chores and people are quick to conclude that such men are wicked and insensitive. I think men have reasons for not helping out. Mine for example is that all the times i tried to help out with something, my wife automatically makes it my duty every other time; she'll even remind me when i don't do it. I think one should help out of one's free will. Guys what are your reasons?

ledynamite: [size=16pt] most naija men are lazy!!!!. smh once they get married they dont wanna do anything again!!! while the wife is cooking,scrubbing,cleaning,washing,backing the baby,assisting the family financially,feeding and bathing the baby, arranging the house! washing the man boxers!!! what a typical naija man wants to do is eat,picking his teeth and fart!!! [/size]

will u marry me i'll so pamper u

dayokanu: If we share financial responsibilities then we would share domestic responsibilities

Miss_Ife:

Marry me, I'd leave my husband for you

Seriously, we both work full time, we bring in more or less the same money BUT I have a second job i'm not paid for, which is cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids, running errands... I wouldn't leave my husband because of that, but I am way less tolerant to any other flaw because I consider that i contribute more than him to the home.

Miss_Ife:

Marry me, I'd leave my husband for you

coogar:

why don't you hire a housemaid?

dayokanu:
Oya coogar can you be the officiating minister and lets do this thing Kpa kpa kpa

Miss_Ife:
Because we live in the west and it is way too expensive.

HARDDON:
Nonsense. i know you will like the christ is the head part. The same bible says you should submit to one another in reverence to the Lord. Treat her tenderly as the weaker sex. If she goes to work contributes financially, cleans the home, care for the children and also care for you, cook food for you and still care for myself. You wan kill person. BTW been the head make you the servant. The son man came to serve and not to be served.
Huh?

Return here after your soulful expedition and Ask ♏ԑ dis same question when you suddenly wake up oηε ♏☺r♌ing with ballzz inbtw your legs.

Not until den, d man remains d head of the family just as christ is d head of d church .

He has bin saddled ωiƒ the responsibility of providing, protecting and generally seeing to d well being of d bunch.

Dis doesn't sound like rocket science , does it?

If i may ask, what exactly r you trying to propose? The woman take over d breadwinner role? And den she turns around tomorrow and tell him to his face that he is not man enuf? Jeez Fellis.

Like i said ealier on, dnt secret too Much estrogen' in dis case deawie. It aint gono help Ʊ .

coogar:

$15 per hour is expensive?
she comes on a friday/saturday and she cleans the house thoroughly(for 3-4 hrs). it would be a weekly appointment and since you live with your hubby alone, i really don't think the house would be that untidy. hire a maid and save yourself the stress.

Miss_Ife:
We have kids. when it was only the two of us it wasn't a big deal. And yes, $15*4hrs*4weeks -> $240 a month, IS expensive. Unless [i]he [/i]pays for it with his own money. or at least for half of it.

coogar:

$240/month shouldn't be expensive if the two of you are into full-time employment. of course, he would be willing to pay 75% upwards of the cost of hiring a maid. a less-stressed wife is a bonus!

ledynamite: [size=16pt] what a typical naija man wants to do is eat,picking his teeth and fart!!! [/size]

Miss_Ife:

Well, I've budgeted it, and as long as we pay for daycare/nanny, housemaid would take too much of our savings. I'd rather save up for my kids' future than pay for an help that wouldn't be necessary if we both took our responsibilities as adults and parents. I mean, if he offered to reduce his personal expenses to pay for an housemaid, I would probably agree, but things being the way they are, I will not push him to do it.

That being said, figures thrown by nairalanders living in the west always surprise me, nobody I know around me has enough money to pay for a housemaid, and most of my friends/family are into full-time employment with kids, and I don't mean minimum-wage jobs.

coogar:

$240/month shouldn't be expensive if the two of you are into full-time employment. of course, he would be willing to pay 75% upwards of the cost of hiring a maid. a less-stressed wife is a bonus!

toluene12:
except they are a upper middle class family, $240/month is good money that could go into other meaningful things other than wasting it on housemaid (particularly if they reside in u.k). Besides she still has to manage daily domestic chores which is actually the real work.

fellis:

So you believe that you are only supposed to assist with house work whenever you feel like? You think housework should the responsibility of only the wife?

Lol. Some Naija men and their unbelievable laziness.

It is your duty to assist her with house work, whether you agree or not does not change the facts. I believe you married a working woman and not an illiterate full time house wife.
Since she works and contributes financially to the upkeep of the house, you also have to join her in doing housework. You cannot expect her to fully shoulder the responsibilities of doing housework, taking care of the children and running her job at the same time, while you do nothing else but go to work and return back home.

fellis:

So who made these rules and why are all human beings under obligation to follow them?

Ujujoan: Aaaaaaaagaaaaaaaaaaain!

Poster we've heard . . you don't like helping your wives with chores, that's your own palava!

I'm tired of listening to coogar babble, it's giving me a headache!