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Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Why Struggle With Domestic Chores? / Dear Nigerian Men That Don't Help With Housework, / How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by Nobody: 9:35pm On Jan 17, 2013
bukatyne: I really like your post. A lot of men don't love their wives else how would you explain a woman doing different chores in their home after work and the man just sits down 'I yam the head'? It's exactly shows a woman don't love her husband when the man is running helter skelter to raise school fees for their children and the woman crosses her legs and say 'I am the wife, I'm not responsible for finances' However, I only agree that it is not a sin for a man not to help at home if the woman has help else there is always a lot of chores to do daily.
Men are ready to do this things but what they do not like is their wife odering them over it
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by Nobody: 9:42pm On Jan 17, 2013
Harpesin: I wonder Y al dis women are flair up sayin man shd be helping in the domestic chore.....they'v forgotten that wen we were dating they choose to be doing everything to impress us, they will want to wash our clothes, cook for us sweep the floor etc....witot any complain but once they got the bond they will start behaving funny, complaining men are too wicked....yes both of us are working but its my money that are going for 90% of taking care of the family, i will also spread d spending to your parents, younger ones, etc...but yours is to buy clothes, shoes, etc and may be contribute 5% in the name of adding to the one i gave you to buy things in the market....do not forget that these same women never come back from market and tell their husband that things are very cheap in the market today....and return the man's change....they always come with the excuse of things are too expensive....they had to add to the money......I beg make una dey do the domestic chore....while i keep on hussling for the cash.......
They are confused
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by ROCKSTAND1: 10:23pm On Jan 17, 2013
bukatyne: If you understand that passage well, you will see the only house chore the woman did was to cook! ...she preparse the day's activities for her maids.... I hope you have that part in your own Bible. That passage actually praised the woman's business acumen than her cleaning acumen

She is depicted as an all-rounder. A mother, wife and resourceful home keeper. There's nothing new under the sun, a man's primary role in the home is not to wash plates. If he must do so it should be by choice not by force.

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Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by bukatyne(f): 10:59pm On Jan 17, 2013
Witty07:
Na wa o. Its hard ds days to undrstand where women belong to. The op is simply tryn to pass out a message that d wife should not earmark a domestc job for him. It is downgrading for men like... She is controln me.
Hope u undrstnd me.
it's downgrading for your wife to assign chores to u? In a normal home setting, chores are only assigned to kids. When two adults are living together, they jointly clean d home. I still don't understand d men that feel cleaning d house they live is beneath them. If I go to my friend's house n I see her working, I join immediately because I love her n know that those tasks are stressful so why can't a man who 'claims' to love his wife help her?
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by Nobody: 11:00pm On Jan 17, 2013
The is crap, men are just too lazy as far as I'm concerned nd we are breeding infidels dis days, dey are not ready to work or help in the house, its the woman that is superwoman/robot that should work herself to death, provide financially nd still face the duty of the house, the kids,etc.. abeg u men should get real, its sheer wickedness leaving your woman to do all d chores except sh's an housewife which is rare dis day...
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by bukatyne(f): 11:02pm On Jan 17, 2013
ROCKSTAND1:

She is depicted as an all-rounder. A mother, wife and resourceful home keeper. There's nothing new under the sun, a man's primary role in the home is not to wash plates. If he must do so it should be by choice not by force.

and who did the assignment of roles? Can you quote one verse which says it's not a man's role to wash plates?
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by bukatyne(f): 11:06pm On Jan 17, 2013
queen_labisi: The is crap, men are just too lazy as far as I'm concerned nd we are breeding infidels dis days, dey are not ready to work or help in the house, its the woman that is superwoman/robot that should work herself to death, provide financially nd still face the duty of the house, the kids,etc.. abeg u men should get real, its sheer wickedness leaving your woman to do all d chores except sh's an housewife which is rare dis day...
I honestly don't understand how a man claims to love his wife and see her multitasking. he should not even wait for her to ask before he assists her
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by ROCKSTAND1: 5:43pm On Jan 18, 2013
bukatyne: and who did the assignment of roles? Can you quote one verse which says it's not a man's role to wash plates?

My dear the man is the head of the home. The head never takes instructions from any part of the body. Any home where the woman reigns or where she dominates the man is not a good home. It will negatively impact the children especially the females because they'd expect their own husbands to be subservient to them as well. I have friends whose marriages are dead today simply because their wives were over bearing. One of them dumped his well paid job here in Nigeria to join his wife who ordered him to come join her raise children and do houseboy work in UK. My friend actually sent this girl to UK just to have their first baby and then she decided to stay, now they are divorced and he is back here in 9ja doing very well and even remarried. Women are just wonderful creatures, if you had your way you would open a thread on why men don't get pregnant and bear children abi?

I decree all men held bound, unwillingly, by their wives in any ungodly and oppressive way via any form of cheap blackmail or deceit be released right now IJN! wink

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Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by Nobody: 7:12pm On Jan 18, 2013
ROCKSTAND1:

My dear the man is the head of the home. The head never takes instructions from any part of the body. Any home where the woman reigns or where she dominates the man is not a good home. It will negatively impact the children especially the females because they'd expect their own husbands to be subservient to them as well. I have friends whose marriages are dead today simply because their wives were over bearing. One of them dumped his well paid job here in Nigeria to join his wife who ordered him to come join her raise children and do houseboy work in UK. My friend actually sent this girl to UK just to have their first baby and then she decided to stay, now they are divorced and he is back here in 9ja doing very well and even remarried.

LWKMD. Stop making up stories abeg.
Besides the thread is talking about men and housechores, not women that dominate men.
A man can still be the head of the house even if he assists his wife with house work.

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Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by Nobody: 7:28pm On Jan 20, 2013
bukatyne: it's downgrading for your wife to assign chores to u? In a normal home setting, chores are only assigned to kids. When two adults are living together, they jointly clean d home. I still don't understand d men that feel cleaning d house they live is beneath them. If I go to my friend's house n I see her working, I join immediately because I love her n know that those tasks are stressful so why can't a man who 'claims' to love his wife help her?
Pls understand, I am not against husband helping the wifem what is there is that women should not be quick to tell their husband to come and throw refuse away. Some women have particularly earmarked some chores to their husband and this is wrong. It is just like the husband doing same for the wife financially.
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by Nobody: 7:31pm On Jan 20, 2013
ROCKSTAND1:

My dear the man is the head of the home. The head never takes instructions from any part of the body. Any home where the woman reigns or where she dominates the man is not a good home. It will negatively impact the children especially the females because they'd expect their own husbands to be subservient to them as well. I have friends whose marriages are dead today simply because their wives were over bearing. One of them dumped his well paid job here in Nigeria to join his wife who ordered him to come join her raise children and do houseboy work in UK. My friend actually sent this girl to UK just to have their first baby and then she decided to stay, now they are divorced and he is back here in 9ja doing very well and even remarried. Women are just wonderful creatures, if you had your way you would open a thread on why men don't get pregnant and bear children abi?

I decree all men held bound, unwillingly, by their wives in any ungodly and oppressive way via any form of cheap blackmail or deceit be released right now IJN! wink
Amen
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by ROCKSTAND1: 11:23pm On Jan 20, 2013
fellis:
LWKMD. Stop making up stories abeg.
Besides the thread is talking about men and housechores, not women that dominate men.
A man can still be the head of the house even if he assists his wife with house work.

Honestly, i didn't make up that story, in fact if you hear the whole thing you will switch sides on this topic one time. The domineering woman starts gradually from delegating chores to hubby to ordering him around the house and before you know it na 'gbewu' be that.
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by Gambrosia: 1:39am On Jan 21, 2013
My man dey help o!The BEST COOK EVER TOO! cool
I HAVE NEVER DATED OR MARRIED ANY MAN THAT COULD NOT COOK AND CLEAN!

I said 'dated' not 'phocked'! DATE MEANS FOR MORE THAN 1 WEEK! kiss

Sorrrrry. . . ya dee-eek is worthless to me. . . .and your money too!
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE MY MEN DOMESTICATED. . . JUST LIKE I AM! cool

If not. . . I go just phock ya azzze for only one session. . . turn you lose to the next 'desperado'! kiss
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by Nobody: 6:47am On Jan 21, 2013
U are living in the same damn house and u contribute to the mess that ends up in that house. Why shouldn't it be an obligation to become repsponsible and hygienic and just help clean up the damn place As head of the house u are suppose to show that u are responsible.
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by oradee: 3:49pm On Jan 21, 2013
ROCKSTAND1:

My dear the man is the head of the home. The head never takes instructions from any part of the body. Any home where the woman reigns or where she dominates the man is not a good home. It will negatively impact the children especially the females because they'd expect their own husbands to be subservient to them as well. I have friends whose marriages are dead today simply because their wives were over bearing. One of them dumped his well paid job here in Nigeria to join his wife who ordered him to come join her raise children and do houseboy work in UK. My friend actually sent this girl to UK just to have their first baby and then she decided to stay, now they are divorced and he is back here in 9ja doing very well and even remarried. Women are just wonderful creatures, if you had your way you would open a thread on why men don't get pregnant and bear children abi?
wink

Have u read The Audacity of Hope by Barrack Obama? The chapter under family? The then serving senator changed the diapers of malia while Michelle slept.No nigerian Man wld ever do that given such a position in this country.
its the little things that increases the bond in a family. Our parents did what they did in their time cos thats all they knew how to do. your cultrue and tradition shld be a living thing that get modified as times and society changes (the world isnt static). If u knw better,do what works for ur marriage.Pride has no place in a marriage.
how many many men today have sat their mothers down to ask her what part of the marriage she felt challenging? many men are so used to seeing women work without complaining and the minute she cries out,its seen as a sign of laziness/weakness.
Truth be told,no matter how much the ladies clamor for equal rights,we know that once the babies start coming,the bulk of the responsibilty wld still rest on the shoulder of the mum. Cos whether the man brings bacon home or not,she knows her family has to eat (or why do u think petty trade started if the men were comfortably taking care of their homes financially as they always claim they do)
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by ROCKSTAND1: 8:41am On Jan 22, 2013
My wife sent me this piece and I thought it was very apt for this topic moreso, I began to see clearly...


Mum and Dad were watching TV when mum said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches, took meat out of the freezer for supper for the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning. She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the game pieces left on the table,emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the excursion and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.
Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night Solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails. Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed." "I'm on my way," she said, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework. In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals. about that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed." And he did...without another thought.
Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...?
'CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL.........
(and they can't die sooner, they still have things to do!!!!)


It seems this steady house chore thing is not a bad idea after all o. All men who don't help their wives with house chores should repent now ...if you want to live long! In fact repeat after me: for madam, I will wash plates, mop floor, dust furniture even breastfeed sef... grin
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by bukatyne(f): 2:50pm On Jan 22, 2013
ROCKSTAND1:

My dear the man is the head of the home. The head never takes instructions from any part of the body. Any home where the woman reigns or where she dominates the man is not a good home. It will negatively impact the children especially the females because they'd expect their own husbands to be subservient to them as well. I have friends whose marriages are dead today simply because their wives were over bearing. One of them dumped his well paid job here in Nigeria to join his wife who ordered him to come join her raise children and do houseboy work in UK. My friend actually sent this girl to UK just to have their first baby and then she decided to stay, now they are divorced and he is back here in 9ja doing very well and even remarried. Women are just wonderful creatures, if you had your way you would open a thread on why men don't get pregnant and bear children abi?

I decree all men held bound, unwillingly, by their wives in any ungodly and oppressive way via any form of cheap blackmail or deceit be released right now IJN! wink
A man is the head of his home! Did you read in John where Jesus Christ said He didn't come to be serve but to serve others and give his life as a ransom? Did you read where He washed the feet of His disciples? where He cooked fish for His disciples? Yet men are told to be head of their wives AS JESUS is the head of the church. Have you read 1 cor 13: 1 - 8 to see the characteristics of love? Did you read where Abraham with about 316 servants served his visitors? Did you read where Jesus said that in the Kingdom of God, Leaders serve? I will not dispute that a man is the head of his home but I will dispiute that 99% of Nigerian men don't know what it means to be the head of their homes.
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by Nobody: 7:18pm On Jan 22, 2013
bukatyne: A man is the head of his home! Did you read in John where Jesus Christ said He didn't come to be serve but to serve others and give his life as a ransom? Did you read where He washed the feet of His disciples? where He cooked fish for His disciples? Yet men are told to be head of their wives AS JESUS is the head of the church. Have you read 1 cor 13: 1 - 8 to see the characteristics of love? Did you read where Abraham with about 316 servants served his visitors? Did you read where Jesus said that in the Kingdom of God, Leaders serve? I will not dispute that a man is the head of his home but I will dispiute that 99% of Nigerian men don't know what it means to be the head of their homes.

When Nigerian men want to use the Bible to define leadership they will not quote the verses you mentioned. They will talk about how Sarah called Abraham her Lord and how 'Lord' in that verse means semi-god grin
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by bukatyne(f): 2:25pm On Jan 23, 2013
fellis:

When Nigerian men want to use the Bible to define leadership they will not quote the verses you mentioned. They will talk about how Sarah called Abraham her Lord and how 'Lord' in that verse means semi-god grin
The same Abraham that slept with his maid because the wife asked him to and sent the resulting child wawy with the mother at his wife's insistence. If Sarah called him Lord, He calle dher his queen.
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by Nobody: 4:18pm On Jan 23, 2013
bukatyne: The same Abraham that slept with his maid because the wife asked him to and sent the resulting child wawy with the mother at his wife's insistence. If Sarah called him Lord, He calle dher his queen.

Abraham slept with his maid? Lol. That only means that women should allow their husbands sleep with other women. Since Sarah was a model wife and everything.
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by cigaricon(m): 4:26pm On Jan 23, 2013
Ewww ewww ewwww enough of the arguement. Now listen
Every body has a ROLE to play in the family. Now take this for an instance and answer the question that follows
•Ur mum calls that she is visiting. She arrives and finds out that the whole house is untidy and there is no already made food in the house, will she say "ah Emeka I told u I was coming and u didn't even boyher to prepare anything for ur Mother in-law"? No ofcourse, she will direct her fingers towards the wife cos she knws its her DUTY. It also applies to when she comes and she is served a verry palatable egusi soup and pounded yam, even if Nkechi had prepared it together with her husband, Nkechi still takes all the praised because it is assumed that she had prepared the food. Why is the asumption? Because it is Nkechi's DUTY.

•Ur mum comes for 'omugor' when u recently put to bed. The baby diapers is finished, No food stuf in the house, the baby has a stomach problem or baby's food is finished etc, will ur mother say 'nkechi sososo things are needed, pls dip ur hand in ur purse and bring out money for the purchase of these things" or will she ask u to TELL YOUR HUSBAND to provide all these things because she knows it is his DUTY as THE MAN


U guys should just accept ur roles and play it. I'm not saying the husband shouldn't HELP out with house chores, all I'm saying is that whenever he helps, u should always have it at the back of ur mind that he is helping you carry out ur DUTY. so apllies to when the woman contributes financialy to some family needs



Well, if u ladies are not still satisfied, I guess we turn the table around; u pay the house rent, buy food stuff, pay the electricity bill, water bill, take care of OUR medical bills, Buy US a car, finance our shopping etc while we do the house chores: cook, clean the house, wash the clothes and do the dishes. Let's see who will get tired first cheesy

Remember, house chores have. Energy saving devices dat makes it easier but the responsibilities of a man got no saving device.

My five shekels wink
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by bukatyne(f): 4:57pm On Jan 23, 2013
fellis:

Abraham slept with his maid? Lol. That only means that women should allow their husbands sleep with other women. Since Sarah was a model wife and everything.
Fellis! Fellis!! Fellis!!! How many times did I call your name? I am sure you understand that post wella. Don't be naughty! wink
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by Nobody: 5:10pm On Jan 23, 2013
bukatyne: Fellis! Fellis!! Fellis!!! How many times did I call your name? I am sure you understand that post wella. Don't be naughty! wink

Naughty how?
I was only telling you what the chapter means. You should follow Sarah's example and be a good wife as well. grin
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by ayodeleakinadew(m): 10:40am On Sep 29, 2014
This is not true with me. ℓ̊ help my wife with domestic chores a lot despite my busy schedule. ℓ̊ bathe my 2 kids every morning,get the dressed for the day,ℓ̊ do sweep and clean up the kitchen. ℓ̊ do a whole lot of work at home. Though a lot of people feel my wife is being pampered and that she is only being indulged. What pains me is when she now takes it for granted or didn't appreciate it. ℓ̊ don't like it at all. For your information my marriage will be 9 years in few months and it has always being like that. Though a lot of my pals feels its not right but ℓ̊ do it and ℓ̊ am not planning to stop.
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by ayodeleakinadew(m): 10:42am On Sep 29, 2014
cigaricon: Ewww ewww ewwww enough of the arguement. Now listen
Every body has a ROLE to play in the family. Now take this for an instance and answer the question that follows
•Ur mum calls that she is visiting. She arrives and finds out that the whole house is untidy and there is no already made food in the house, will she say "ah Emeka I told u I was coming and u didn't even boyher to prepare anything for ur Mother in-law"? No ofcourse, she will direct her fingers towards the wife cos she knws its her DUTY. It also applies to when she comes and she is served a verry palatable egusi soup and pounded yam, even if Nkechi had prepared it together with her husband, Nkechi still takes all the praised because it is assumed that she had prepared the food. Why is the asumption? Because it is Nkechi's DUTY.

•Ur mum comes for 'omugor' when u recently put to bed. The baby diapers is finished, No food stuf in the house, the baby has a stomach problem or baby's food is finished etc, will ur mother say 'nkechi sososo things are needed, pls dip ur hand in ur purse and bring out money for the purchase of these things" or will she ask u to TELL YOUR HUSBAND to provide all these things because she knows it is his DUTY as THE MAN


U guys should just accept ur roles and play it. I'm not saying the husband shouldn't HELP out with house chores, all I'm saying is that whenever he helps, u should always have it at the back of ur mind that he is helping you carry out ur DUTY. so apllies to when the woman contributes financialy to some family needs



Well, if u ladies are not still satisfied, I guess we turn the table around; u pay the house rent, buy food stuff, pay the electricity bill, water bill, take care of OUR medical bills, Buy US a car, finance our shopping etc while we do the house chores: cook, clean the house, wash the clothes and do the dishes. Let's see who will get tired first cheesy

Remember, house chores have. Energy saving devices dat makes it easier but the responsibilities of a man got no saving device.

My five shekels wink

Wa sere omo
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by blessedqueen(f): 12:13pm On Sep 29, 2014
fellis:

So you believe that you are only supposed to assist with house work whenever you feel like? You think housework should the responsibility of only the wife?

Lol. Some Naija men and their unbelievable laziness.

It is your duty to assist her with house work, whether you agree or not does not change the facts. I believe you married a working woman and not an illiterate full time house wife.

.
Since she works and contributes financially to the upkeep of the house, you also have to join her in doing housework. You cannot expect her to fully shoulder the responsibilities of doing housework, taking care of the children and running her job at the same time, while you do nothing else but go to work and return back home.




See dere is no long talk in dis if he cnt help out n wife feels d work is too much na to get helper to assist her. No too much grammar women cannot come n die cux dem marry
Re: Why Men Don't Help-Out With Domestic Chores by gcsllc: 11:37am On Dec 02, 2015
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