Una no qo church,flow don qo church...na niqht he qo update nah.. Oya kill yaself

Have read quite a lot of stories here on Literature section on NL..

But so far so good.. This is the best and funniest have read in a long while cos we can all relate with it..

Thumbs up

Flow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U̶̲̥̅̊ don mk me useless since yesterday....av been laughing everywhere, on th̶̲̥̅̊e strEet, the house and barbers' Shop. U too funny....yur stories are so so captivatin....pls hurry mk i know weda ur rolex dey toiletabi Ogija don go move am be4 U....waitin patiently

Make una no vex oh, i go church, abi una no dey go church?

Ukochukwu flow welcome back from church,unto the next one

Pastor flow where are u?

Oya Rev king. Welcome bck from church, abeg update joor,like sey u hear wetin ur pastor preach for church.

flow1759: Make una no vex oh, i go church, abi una no dey go church?

Whch church u go self, still Winners? Abeg quick update, person dey wait.

Abi na celestia dis flow dey go ni way u neva return from church since?

May b na Blue's Angels church he go na,.FLOW al dis wey u dey yan since realy happend to bro,u don b coret.PITINGA

I want to give testimony....


I went to church today... Kai... It was fun o, walahi to serve God sure pass. In fact I dey go fellowship and I dey go join choir, I must go back to playing instruments for church o....

Flow what is wrong with u or are u with your gf

I de feel u gist bro sailon @Aro flow

Flow i'av been glued here 4 d past 3days nw!guy ur gud..pls keep it coming ;DFlow i'av been glued here 4 d past 3days nw!guy ur gud..pls keep it coming

This is d best writeup I have ever read on Nairaland.... just like a seasonal film. Flow abeg come out and update me cause I DEY FEEEEEL UUUUUUU, U ARE 2 GBASKIIII!!!!!

Flow i dey feel ya flowzyz, can u imagine i dey hia yestaday o. Pls update sharp sharp!

"Break don reach oh, make we go drink coke for Mama Kola place na" i said to Angom as i heard the bell for break.

"Mama Kola, abeg give us two bottle of coke and two bons" Angom ordered as we sat at Mama Kola joint. Mama Kola's little boy; Kola came 2minutes later and served us what we ordered. If there were to be an award for the most stubborn student in our school, it would be given to the Jss3 boy called Kola. He usually leaves sch during break to come assist his mum with sales. His mum's shop was close to the sch. Sometimes, i wondered why the sch gateman always allowed Kola out of the sch after the principal had warned that nobody should leave the sch during break. "abi him dey jump fence?" i asked myself as i drank the coke.

Kola sat on a chair beside us, staring at us an listening to our conversation. "Angom, today na Tuesday oh, na today blue angels dey meet oh, and u know say after their meeting, dem go need us to come do our work" i said "work" because the stubborn Kola was still listening to us and i didn't want to say "f''uck". "Eheen na, we go go arrange our sugar mummy na" Angom said. Instantly, from the corner of my eyes, i saw Kola walking towards us.

"Kola, let us finish drinking before u will come for money na" i said, "Uncle, i didn't come for money" Kola responded. "then why are u standing here?" Angom asked. "i want to ask a question sir" the stubborn Kola said. I tot it was a reasonable question.

"Sir, i heard u saying sugar mummy, what is sugar mummy?" Kola asked. I tot of instantly giving him a dirty slap, but, i dare not. because if i do, i might spend the rest of my service year in police cell. Saying Mama Kola was the most troublesome woman in Ilesa is and understatement. So you dare not lay your hands on her only son in her presence.

"u see, Kola, Sugar mummy means ehnnnnn, u see, since Sugar is sweet!! So, a mummy that is sweet is Sugar Mummy!! So, Kola since ur Mummy is sweet to u, u can call her ur Sugar mummy" i served Kola a hot plate of lie. Kola smiled and shouted, "Mummy!! U are my sugar mummy" telling his mum who was seating inside. His mum was an Illiterate so she didn't know what sugar mummy meant, so she responded saying; "Kola, u are my sugar boy".

"why u explain that kin tin for Kola na?" Angom asked as we walked back to the sch, after break. "so u want make i tell am the real meaning of sugar mummy abi? U want make him tell us say him want sugar mummy? U no know say that boy stubborn?" i responded.

"where u dey go?" Angom asked as i strayed towards the boys toilet. "i wan go piss" i responded. "ok, i get class now" Angom said. I walked alone to the boys toilet, no knowing what my eyes would behold there.

up next.

flow!!!!! update pls

Flow if you don't follow this up, I'll have a permanent beef with you. I swear!
CONTINUE!!!

Abeg wetin your eyes see

Flow wetin dey happen now? u neva tell us wether u find your necklace and watch for your house toilet. wetin your eye see for the boys toilet?

Abi ur eye see sm people dey screw demselves insyd toilet.nwanné biko dé lu gaba

kwangi: Flow if you don't follow this up, I'll have a permanent beef with you. I swear!
CONTINUE!!!

permanent beef hmmmmm,na waoooooo

Flow I want to invite u to my birthday party, can u make it

As i was urinating in the toilet, my nose percieved something. Something that smelt like weed.

"maybe dis canteen people dey cook, and na their food dey smell like dis" i tot. I was thinking the smell came from the canteen next to our sch.

The smell came again, this time stronger. I was sure someone was smoking weed nearby.

As i tip-toed to where the smell was coming from, i heard footsteps.

"stop there!! I have already seen ur faces, if u run!!" i commanded. It was two boys; Taiwo (kehinde's twin brother) and James.

"what are u doing here?" i inquired. "ehn ehn ehn ehn!! Uncle, we ehn ehn, we came to s'hit" Taiwo stammered. "u came to s'hit ehn? what is in ur hand?" i inquired. At that moment i saw Taiwo quickly deeped his hands with the weed into his pocket, i pretended i didn't see what he did. "nothing sir" he responded.

"ok, lemme see ur hand" i said. They were both as fidgety as a Jelly fish. "mumu boy, because of fear e don go put weed wey dey on for him pocket, him trouser go soon catch fire" i tot. "my friend!! what is in ur hand!!" i shouted, making them start shaking like they had been electrocuted. "what am i smelling? So u are smoking ehn? So u smoke?" i said, "no Uncle we are not smoking oh, we came to burn paper, u are smelling the paper we are burning" James said a rubbish lie. "dis one think say i no know how weed dey smell, e no know say i be "Ezendiigbo 1" of weed smokers for Ilesa" i tot.

At this moment i could see that the weed was burning Taiwo's pocket already. "i want make ur pocket catch fire, abi u no wan show me wetin dey ur hand? infact na all ur trouser go catch fire" i tot.

"so all ur mates are in class and u are here smoking indian h'emp!!" i said. James postrated instantly and pleaded saying; "Sir, we are not smoking india oh, we are not smoking india". Taiwo did not postrate, but stood shaking

I could see smoke was coming out of Taiwo's pocket, the weed was burning his pocket. I didn't want the weed to burn only his pocket, i wanted a full scale inferno.

Taiwo was almost crying, the weed in his pocket was hurting him seriously, he didn't want to give up and bring out the "hand with the weed" from his pocket, until............................... "Mò gbé oh!!!" he shouted running to the toilet. A minute later, the toilet was flushed, but what i wasn't sure of was if he had flushed himself down the toilet.

So we now have to beg before you update abi?
And you never tell us about your watch and money.
You better start flowing!
I don talk my own.

kwangi: So we now have to beg before you update abi?
And you never tell us about your watch and money.
You better start flowing!
I don talk my own.

kwangi haba!! Na only u dey ask about the watch oh, go back to read that part, and you would know if i actually saw it or not. Use ur tongue to count ur teeth na.

Josphine4good: Flow I want to invite u to my birthday party, can u make it

it depend on where the venue is

I just count my own teeth .21

Yeah, I don read am.
Lol. Chioma na Bado!

I see u FLOW.....
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