I used to believe any food that fell on d floor has been eaten by satan, but will secretly pick it up when no one was watching. I thot cartoon characters where from another planet and always longed to travel there.

I went 2 a LovePeddler house and was dis-virgined by a prostitute on christmas day.

Use 2 set trap 4 passerby disguising painted foam(black) as snake... Poured urine on a girl that didnt say yes 2 my request.

Fly from ph to Benin at 1am for meeting ,share puff puff for my friends, I still hv some if anyone care for.......

# i played wild darts with the house maid(s)

#i miss somersault as a game in prim-school, all the gurls loved the best gymnasts the best left they had no other option than to worship me, after the holidays i dropped form my second took over sad moment for me

# i looooved ''canter or counter ball'' as we normally call it then, but its the football game played with mineral/beer cork

#i miss the street football competitions

#i miss playing rain football

#i miss tales by moonlight, super ted, Voltron, sound of music, Gazab, snake girl, number10, Dog master, wild geese

#i miss the song ''holiday is coming'' and holidays as well (now nobody send you oo)

#i miss playing Nitendo, tetrix, PS1, playing table tennis
finally i miss ''every uncle and Aunty loves Wuzilistique'' lolzzz now they're thinking of their kids what a world, TIME ON A FUEL-FREE JET.....i miss virtually everything, but i love nature

tantita: When i ws young me n my frnds killed other people chicken for a living..we wld line grain of rice into our trap n snare them..owners of such chicken did swear for us saying "whoever stole n ate my chicken will die". Well most of my friends are dead alright n i recently jst graduate wit a third class which technically means am DEAD.

kia c badoo nw

LOL,...the list is long o! And it still goes on cos I'm a TEEN!

going to join the student who are asked to go home for not paying there school fee, even though i'm not owing the school. Just for the sake of going to play game outside school

Hmm...stealin mummy's make-up wearin my elder sis' bras soakin garri secretly!

mymz:
you loss?
if yes, take a bus to mile 2, alight and take another one to Seme boarder, when u get there keep going forward, you'll see the moon and some grass.
collect a handful (of the grass i mean), take a gentle whiff and the vast knowledge contained in the book "All about Nairaland" shall be revealed unto thee

Omg u won't kill me wit laff oooooooo

Seunmi.Osewa:
Hello guys, i'm new on nairaland. Can someone please show me around? Thanks

pass left wen u get to d extreme of d street den go right den left and u are almost der..

AM STILL D
DOING ALL THESE...

sheyie2007: Used all my feeding money to play fast league(PS1) in somolu this went on for months until my mum bursts into the game center one day , with my dad standing outside.. most embarrassing day of my life

hahahaha

biolabee:

antelope

jst cnt stop laffin oooo..

Udochee: Remember afta watchin superman cartoon one day,then i took my mum's wrapper & tied it across my neck,den i started runnin around hopin 2 fly

lol....hahahahahaha.omg

wonda26: ¤Catch 'atete' (grasshoppers) and put inside biscuit wrapper
¤pour biro ink inside small bowl of water - to view the marine world & mammy waters...lol
¤catch lizard, fix a knockout inside the anus, light it & set the lizard free to run off...the rest na history
•we wud form sleep after morning prayers till our parents go for work (during holidays), immediately na video game tins o..till we hear horn meaning mumsi don come back o. . Everybody wud just enter robotic mode.. One go carry broom start sweep, 1 go clear table (morning food they ate b4 work) etc.. All these wud happen b4 she park car finish..
•Borrowed video game which we play b4 they come back from work as dem nor gree buy for me..even after i combine many many birthday and 1st position..

ooh my u carry 1st 4dis mata...chiaaa laffin my eyez out

Each time my mum beats me @ nite, dat nite I will refuse 2 take my dinner, I go jux dey form rubbish formings, no be person go beg me 2 go carry my food wen day break. Cos hunger go don chop my eyeballs commot like craze.

missed flying kites and playing table soccer..

rolling tyres down d street and playing rubber..

watching voltron,superted,tera hox, fragorock , G force..

playing poju poju, suwe ..

sometimes i run from school to a game center till after closing hours.. chai man do some kind things dat year oo.. How time flies..

segunsd: I beat our cat till it fainted. Then I started to cradle it and beg it till it came back to life.

I put sugar in a spoon and heated it till it became black and was like OMG! i know how to make baba dudu.

nawa for you ooo....beating the cat up...smh. You deserve to be beaten up for that.

xynerise: Hung my self on a tree like Judas is carrot just because I saw a man in a movie commited suicide by hanging himself on a tree. I was just bleating like a christmas goat that day. My elder bro saved my life

lol. Well done.

Took meat from ma mama's pot.
Used to lick maggi and toothpaste cos i thought they were delicious!
The day i went out to play, stepped on someone's shit but didn't wash my feet immediately but went and hid under the bed so dat ma mama won't see me! That was really crazie of me...laugh like a piccollo anytym i remember that!

at about age 3 i asked a one eyed man who had come visiting my parents to get out of my house cos of his damaged eye...my mother almost killed me cos she was so embarrased...she had to rilli beg the man...she still recounts that story till date after soooooo many yrs..

Salvadot: going to join the student who are asked to go home for not paying there school fee, even though i'm not owing the school. Just for the sake of going to play game outside school

Broda we are 1 nd d same ooooooo,u sure say u no b my twin

-Iv always been daddy's pet! He can't leave home without me, if not all hell will let loose! (˘̯˘ )
-drowned a stray cat wit my brother
-id remove my clothes wen ever we hav a power outage and play wit the talcum powder
-all the walls in my room were covered wit pencil marks and crayons
-i'll spend hours removing onions from my food b4 eating it
-i once believed in dracula, scared the shit outta me! Hated the dark
-i'll beg the ice-cream man in my school for ice-cream!
-tortured rats, insects and any other creature I cld find

Sunshinny:
Did everything u mentioned.

oh Ɣε̲̣̣̣̥§ I did!

i drank garri remain form my mum

Sliding on the staircase railings
Bathing in the rain
Playing daddy and mummy
Faking illness to avoid going to school
Picking meat from the pot
Peeping to see bleeping elders
Sniffing vehicle smoke

I did daddy n mummy tinz, n I would put bread on d window side cos ma bro told me it will turn to cat wc I use to love bk den
I always tink it possible to see God dat one has to climb a ladder to see him n come bk
I usually dream of driving an aeroplane too

I remember hw I use to grind unzu and smoke it wit my sister. came back frm skul one day tore my exercise book folded it up, lighted it nd started smoking I dint hear my dad enter, he caught me, tore more papers nd told me to kip smokn later n da night by 12 or 2 he woke me up nd gave me da thrashn of my life my mum pretended nt to hear my cries jeez! hw I hated her dt night. I remember searchn for coins in my dads pocket, got caught nd receivd da mid night beatn. I just heard the word blue film nt known wat it meant I went to skul telln everyone I've watchd blue film a male teacher heard it nd told me to repeat it before the headmistress who calld my parents lol cnt forget the look on their faces. wz I beaten? u guessed right!

Thank God I made it Τ̅Ơ̴̴̴̴͡ †ђξ
Front page today, is that å gift from nairaland?.. Just suprised

Nobody got the blockos to do the things I did in my childhood.

From my various careers as a professional crab catcher, spoke and wheel rider, lizard crucifier, snake killer, twice a day footballer, professional boxer who fought ninjas once a day just for fun, masquerade baiter, serial fornicator from age 6, serial swimmer always to be found swimming in Amadi creek near Ipukulu, bicycle stunt man - no hand, screeching etc, counterball champion, table tennis champion, weightlifting champion in my age division, footballer for my street under 12 team and coach of under 10 team, wrestlemania fantasist always impersonating ma favourite Macho Man Randy Savage. Banger and knockout enthusiast, serial offender at school until they started calling me "two jeans" for the jeans I wear under ma school uniform to receive flogging, literary and debating champion, youngest ninja representing my house right from JSS1, long distance runner for my school house cos I figure I'm naturally slow and cannot win sprints so I might as well be a champion at something else. Name it, we did it.

I remember quarreln wid a boy in our neigborhood I was just busy sayn 'u be bascard! idiot dansekebuns!' lolz dnt evn know wt dt means till date. was fond of beatn younger kids so I saw dis gurl nd I was like 'aah I fit beat dis smallie' I walkd up to her, nd seized her dress by throat nd accused her of insultn me. I nvr knew da gurl was related to mike tyson. she gave me da beatn of my life nd dt was hw d demon causn me to beat other children ran away for good.

Use to make fun of guys in primary skool wen they pair them to share seats with girls

Wud steal meat from pot n divide the remaining

I cud eat egg morning to evening,anything n everything I ate back then must be with egg

Wud chew choco milo with the wraps on

Nobody danced alex'o reach me

Had a friend whose dad was a retired general,they had lots of real guns in their house n we will run around with them forming police n thief (true story)

Wud use the shiny paper in cigerettes to make watches n jewelries

Had mad crushes on our neighbour's daughter (jumoke) that I wud carry my mattress to the balcony n take position day n night just to watch her pass


Form sickness on a sunday jst to invite a girl over,after much ruff play I forgot to flush the condom,wen my folks came back n saw it,I lied dat I saw it in my dads wardrobe n thot it was blom blom,they asked why was it in the toilet I said I don't know with a straight face,flog wen dem flog me no be here


Wen I was younger I actually preferred being flogged than be talked to n corrected..oh please jst flog me let's get it ova with


I spoilt all d keys on the remote except the key to my favourite station (sky one)


I grew up around girls so wen my guys r gisting about ninja turtles n stuff I was gisting about secrets of the sand,n lady in red,had to put my foot down to have my way with my sisters


There's this sticky sticker thing u iron on shirts,it cud be flowers or cartoon characters on em,don't knw wat possessed me to think I cud iron it on my chest



Me and sis saw heaps of envelops on our way back from skool,we stole em,and weneva anyone sends us message at home we put the money in a envelop,dat shit lasted upto a year



And ofcos I did everything mentioned on the posters list