Hello,

Even if i know the right thing to do is to tell my aunt what i know i still wanna hear your opinions, maybe there is something i am missing here.

I grew up together with this guy, about 10 years ago, we were very good friends back then. Then he did something that really annoyed me.

Few weeks back she told me of a guy who wanted to marry her, she was going on about how cute the guy was, and how they had an oil servicing firm and so on.
I have been skeptical about this "over" wonderful guy, cos she is the very picky type, but i decided that it wasn't really much of my business, as long as she likes him, and she was sure he liked her too.

Fast forward to present day, and i was surprised, last night when i saw his picture on my cousin's DP. Curiosity got the better of me, and i asked her who he was to her,
and she said it was the guy that she was telling me about. I called her into my room out of ear shot of my aunty, and asked her some questions,

I just told her that i used to know the guy, and i don't think its a very good Idea, because i know the kind of person he is.
Before i could say another word my cousin had already told him about me, i wanted her to keep it secret before, as he was due to come see her mother today, and i was going to be present, i wanted to take him by surprise. Anyways my dilemma is that i can't let this guy deceive my sister, if i know him very well, he is definitely not the kind of guy i want to see around her. But the fact remains that, who she choose to date is her choice, but when it comes to marriage i have a duty to let everyone know exactly what i know.

I have made some inquiries the last few hours, and no one has been able to verify his claim of being a changed person.
I want to give him a chance to prove himself because one word from me will kill the whole marriage thingy, and i know my sister will not be too happy about it

Is it possible that he has changed from the lying, manipulative, and extremely selfish womanizer he is, and even if he is different, what are the possiblities of him not going back to his old self again.

So considering everything i know about him, do i take what i know to my aunt? or do i watch and see how things go.

P.S; i really don't mind if they would just stay on dating for a little while longer, at least to give me time to acertain a few things, but this marriage proposal is a little bit too fast for my liking, considering who i know him to be.

This guy can do or say anything just to score it with a chick, this whole marriage issue might just be a hoax, and i don't want to wait till its too late before saying anything.

Your opinions are welcome....

Sit the guy down and speak with him. If he has come to play as usual,am sure he will back out politely,you didnt even need to speak to your sister at the first place. The guy is the problem so face him,maybe he is a changed man nw.

I'm not getting something here, am a bit slow today. Is this guy with both your aunt and cousin?

uj_sizzle: I'm not getting something here, am a bit slow today. Is this guy with both your aunt and cousin?

His aunty is the mother to his cousin(sis). I guess he stays with them.

@UJ

Nope, he is not, but if i tell my aunt anything negative about him, that ends the marriage issue for good.

chidyhels: Sit the guy down and speak with him. If he has come to play as usual,am sure he will back out politely,you didnt even need to speak to your sister at the first place. The guy is the problem so face him,maybe he is a changed man nw.

Well frankly i don't want to discuss anything with him, and he is not gonna back out politely, he never does, thats Just who he is.

Sure jealousy is not ur problem? Most girls never want their younger sis get married before them.

Olu-Emma & Ass.:
Sure jealousy is not ur problem? Most girls never want their younger sis get married before them.

its a He,not she,the guy use to be his playmate

Guy, do what is needed and stop dancing ayangba around this issue jor. If you can't see the changes you want to see, then perhaps, they just aren't there! This is a lifetime thing you're handling with fluffs. Husband materials are not that hard to come by, reeeaally.

chidyhels: Sit the guy down and speak with him. If he has come to play as usual,am sure he will back out politely,you didnt even need to speak to your sister at the first place. The guy is the problem so face him,maybe he is a changed man nw.

hw would u tink dat he wil tel ha he'v changd huh?

Ok so he came by today to see my Aunt, i decided to stay out of the house, since this is the first time we will be seeing in a long while, i didn't want to make things too awkward for him. If my Aunt finds out i know him, i would have to tell her all that i know.

I later engaged him in a chat online, and he keeps talking about how he has left his past behind and how Christ has changed his life, but funnily he can't remember what he did that destroyed our friendship.

I don't wanna stop my kid sister from being happy but then again, i believe our paths didn't cross after all these while for nothing. I simply don't believe in coincidence.
Well i have told him what i feel, and he knows he is being watched every step of the way.

As per him dating my sister, that's not my problem, if he ends up breaking her heart, then she would have learnt her lesson's, but marriage is a different thing all together.

I think am gonna hold my peace, and observe things.

Marriage proposal too fast, then my opinion is he feels he has met a good girl he wants to sharply marry... He wud surely continue his ways (Remember, IMHO)

OP, What did he do to you? or what did you guys do together? Did he at any point in life molest you? Molest your gf? I really do not know what thi your friend did to you that wanna make you break the heart of a lil happy girl.

mrkels: OP, What did he do to you? or what did you guys do together? Did he at any point in life molest you? Molest your gf? I really do not know what thi your friend did to you that wanna make you break the heart of a lil happy girl.

The way some people mind works...

Trust me if what he did was a one time thing then i would have let it go...
but come to think of it didn't you read my entire posts?...

#questionsomepeopleask....

Kingsleyinfo:
The way some people mind works...
Trust me if what he did was a one time thing then i would have let it go...
but come to think of it didn't you read my entire posts?...
#questionsomepeopleask....

Kingsleyinfo: Hello,Even if i know the right thing to do is to tell my aunt what i know i still wanna hear your opinions, maybe there is something i am missing here.
I grew up together with this guy, about 10 years ago, we were very good friends back then. Then he did something that really annoyed me.

See why i asked you that question?

Listen, say what you want and shame the devil than holding back as whatever. If the guy is bad, he could change but that thing that you keep saying he did and when you vomit, heaven will fall, why not say it now?

There is no act in one's face to show the minds construction and at this, if he is pretending and you sister fall a victim to him you contributed. Now, you just told your sister and she went to open up to the guy. That goes to show there is nothing to hide, hence it's better you spill the beans and let heaven fall. Only if you are jealous of the guy and felt you want to get even by stopping them.

andyanders: Listen, say what you want and shame the devil than holding back as whatever. If the guy is bad, he could change but that thing that you keep saying he did and when you vomit, heaven will fall, why not say it now?

There is no act in one's face to show the minds construction and at this, if he is pretending and you sister fall a victim to him you contributed. Now, you just told your sister and she went to open up to the guy. That goes to show there is nothing to hide, hence it's better you spill the beans and let heaven fall. Only if you are jealous of the guy and felt you want to get even by stopping them.

Thanks for your opinion.

I am taking every necessary step to make sure this is not about personal vendetta.

What happened between us is history, the question is has he stopped being that person?

and come to think of it what reason would i have to be jealous of him.

In fact its even in my best interest that they go on with their relationship, but then i must be careful never to put personal interests first.
Be it negative or positive.

The whole point here is to make the best decision, given all prevailing circumstances...