bizz: I A̶̲̥̅♏ A̶̲̥̅ medical student (almost through) and I see women of all sorts in D̶̲̥̅̊ hospital.I ask them questions(normal check up questions) and they give me right answers but A̶̲̥̅♏ surprised at D̶̲̥̅̊ attitude displayed bƔ my sister in-law and my married ex.
I saw my ex wen she was pregnant and during our discussion I asked abt her expected date and she just didn't sound thesame.kα̲̅γ̲̣̣̥ I felt she just wasn't in D̶̲̥̅̊ moodm
My sister in-law just delivered some days back and I remembered asking her same question and she told me dec.
Pls I need to k̲̣̣̣̥n̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣w̶̲̥̅̊ if I A̶̲̥̅♏ asking D̶̲̥̅̊ wrong question or A̶̲̥̅♏ just not suppose to ask that outside the hospital

armyofone: OP, you forgot the superS side of your sister and married ex. . . you know not wanting to tell the delivery date so people don't winch the unborn baby .

I have heard of some nigerians who refused to let others/friends know they are pregnant until after the baby is born. No discussion abt the baby or gift.
Pregnancy is hush hush.
From day 1, our oyinbo people will make noise/plan baby shower and refer to the unborn baby by name. Ricky is kicking, Sandy don't like hot room or broccolli so I get heartburn etc

So next time you see a pregnant lady, don't ask questions. Just do as I do, smile that oyinbo smile, folding your upper and lower lips.

ileobatojo:

Is that exactly the way you ask the question? "What's your expected day of delivery"? Is it an attempt to show off your medical terminology skills or do you have a touch of Asperger's? I'm sorry to seem a bit harsh but it is such an odd question to ask when you're not their doctor, especially coming from a guy.

Women in Nigeria are pretty secretive about their pregnancy. Same thing with health concerns in general, people don't go around publicizing this info. They mostly only give out information on a need to know basis. It still feels weird to me when I see my white friends on facebook chronicling every part of their pregnancy complete with pictures and ultrasounds all the way to the end. Many will announce their pregnancy the minute they see 2 blue lines on the stick. So far, I haven't seen a single Nigerian do the same, it's when you start seeing "congratulations" that people will know they were pregnant. Except for close family and friends and those that get to see them.

armyofone: OP, you forgot the superS side of your sister and married ex. . . you know not wanting to tell the delivery date so people don't winch the unborn baby .

I have heard of some nigerians who refused to let others/friends know they are pregnant until after the baby is born. No discussion abt the baby or gift
Pregnancy is hush hush.
From day 1, our oyinbo people will make noise/plan baby shower and refer to the unborn baby by name. Ricky is kicking, Sandy don't like hot room or broccolli so I get heartburn etc

So next time you see a pregnant lady, don't ask questions. Just do as I do, smile that oyinbo smile, folding your upper and lower lips.

ferhyntorlah: Poster, you can't blame them. This is Nigeria, anything can happen. They only want to be on the safe side. Haven't you heard of some women being pregnant for 1year before delivery?

I remember in my final year, a coursemate of mine got pregnancy and when some of us asked her the EDD, she politely told us that she couldn't say it because it wasn't appropriate due to tradition or something like it.

Even my mom never discussed her EDD with anyone. She said the only people who knew were her doctor, my dad and herself.

You can't trust anyone; this is pregnancy we are talking about especially in this part of the world where PHD and jazz abound.

The whites aren't like that because their way of life and doing things are different from ours.

So, don't bother asking your pregnant friends and relatives their EDD. You should only be concerned about the EDD of your patients.

greatgod2012: Firstly, its an odd questin to ask, how do you even get to open your mouth and ask such, you must be very bold, thank God those you have asked are not razor-mouthed, if not so, you would have regretted ever asking, so dont ask, except those who tell you themselves without you asking. Your business is with your clients, not your friends or relative.
Secondly, its fear of d unknown, which has to do with d impression of harming/hurting the babies, and i dont blame those women, this is the part of d world where a coin usually have more than two sides, so, its better to be secretive about it, so, dont be angry about it, since you are not their doctors.
May God help us all.

greatgod2012: Firstly, its an odd questin to ask, how do you even get to open your mouth and ask such, you must be very bold, thank God those you have asked are not razor-mouthed, if not so, you would have regretted ever asking, so dont ask, except those who tell you themselves without you asking. Your business is with your clients, not your friends or relative.
Secondly, its fear of d unknown, which has to do with d impression of harming/hurting the babies, and i dont blame those women, this is the part of d world where a coin usually have more than two sides, so, its better to be secretive about it, so, dont be angry about it, since you are not their doctors.
May God help us all.

Siena:

I beg to differ. Your family's also your concern, unless you're not close to them.

Like the OP, I too am surprised about the response he got from his sister-in-law. I have asked my sisters-in-law their expected delivery dates, and they've been pretty straight with me. It's not like we're strangers, we're family. My first SIL actually told myself and my sister her EDD, we didn't have to ask. I would feel a bit hurt if I was lied to, and our relationship would definitely have taken a hit.

I suppose it's different with every individual, our families have always been quite close knit, and have shared things without question. My own brothers and sister also knew my wife's EDD, it wasn't a big deal, and my wife didn't feel uncomfortable sharing.

Bizz, I would say it depends on the level of closeness and bonds that exist between yourself and family. Your SIL wasn't straight with you. Simply, she lied. It's the same when the average Nigerian female has three different ages, and will even lie to their own kids how old they are. I've never understood the secretiveness about something as mundane as age, especially when it's your children who wish to know.

SMH.

cotton101:

mr siena - u have killed me with laughter with that one in bold.

yes i have my official age, my dream age (21) and my don't you know who I am age (for the youth)

Hahaha! Now that was funny.

chaircover: My dear its a naija thing jare and Ive never understood how so many people declare, bind, cast out and proclaim etc but are still very fearful of simple everyday things.

The other day I was in a shop and a baby was playing on the floor and I caught the eye of the baby and smiled at her and one could actually feel the mothers discomfort. Meanwhile I remember taking my 10 day old baby into Tescos to shop and I cant count the number of people who topped me and were oooiing and ahhhing over the baby.

Like I said, it seems to be a Naija thing, where a woman cant tell her brother-in-law when she is due. My family knew I was pregnant the same day I saw the positive pregnancy test and we all went through those 9 months together. Same with my sisters. oyinbo will even ask you if the pregnancy was planned or an accident lol.

People have miscarriages all the time, ive been there too. It was Gods way of saying Not this one, and that is the way i see it, not because my tennants daughters mothers friend found out that I was pregnant and killed the baby. People should read their bibles more and understand Gods plan for us and not be fearful of everything. . . . and by the way heaven helps those who help themselves is not in the bible!

@poster, dont bother asking them anymore epecially as you dont really have any use for the information anyway.

Siena:

I beg to differ. Your family's also your concern, unless you're not close to them.

Like the OP, I too am surprised about the response he got from his sister-in-law. I have asked my sisters-in-law their expected delivery dates, and they've been pretty straight with me. It's not like we're strangers, we're family. My first SIL actually told myself and my sister her EDD, we didn't have to ask. I would feel a bit hurt if I was lied to, and our relationship would definitely have taken a hit.

I suppose it's different with every individual, our families have always been quite close knit, and have shared things without question. My own brothers and sister also knew my wife's EDD, it wasn't a big deal, and my wife didn't feel uncomfortable sharing.

Bizz, I would say it depends on the level of closeness and bonds that exist between yourself and family. Your SIL wasn't straight with you. Simply, she lied. It's the same when the average Nigerian female has three different ages, and will even lie to their own kids how old they are. I've never understood the secretiveness about something as mundane as age, especially when it's your children who wish to know.

SMH.

bizz: . I fear O̶̷̩̥̊͡ my bro......definitely the rship has taken A̶̲̥̅ diff turn cos I tot we were that close O̶̷̩̥̊͡.....

tobechi20: What if she tells u august 20 , and she still carry d pregnancy by september?

slimyem: Op,an average Nigerian is a paraniod and superstitious person so you shouldn't go such places with them.
Except for a few open-minded ones,Nigerians are secretive with such things.
If you see pregnancy,praise Jah!
If you see pickin,praise Jah!
If you nor see anything,shut up your mouth and mind your business strictly...or hush hush behind.
Except you are the husband, doctor , medical personnel involved, or u wan kili the pikin spirishually,anyones EDD is useless to you.
Any other reason is unnecessary Aproko!

aadetoyin: Wetin concern you with date of delivery?
U should have kuku asked her how often her hubby shags her na!
Only my man needs to know that kind of info.
you be real APROKO

aadetoyin: Wetin concern you with date of delivery?
U should have kuku asked her how often her hubby shags her na!
Only my man needs to know that kind of info.
you be real APROKO

Siena:

It would appear one can't win with you guys. If one doesn't ask, you'll say your brother / brother-in-law / sister-in-law etc doesn't care. If they do ask, you'll say they're trying to "winch your baby".

I'm really pleased with the closeness that exists in my family, and my wife's. My mon never kept EDD secret from family, unless she wasn't close to that particular person.

If one asks your EDD, and you don't feel like telling them, simply say you don't feel comfortable with their questions, end of. They'll understand, and won't force you to tell them, and it's better than telling a bare-faced lie.

damiso: There was one thread on the FP a couple of weeks ago about Nigerians not liking disclosure.I made the same comment about pregnancy.I just guess cos its cos we are superstitous people.We think people are out to get us and you know how we are about fertility so i guess thats why it has to be kept close to the chest.
I remember my mum giving me dagger looks when i was telling my zimbabwean friend that my due date is next week lets hope he pops out shortly after .Am like mum abeg EDD is what it is its an estimate so please she is not going to jazz the labour room at St Thomas hospital.See her wanting to know where the placenta was going .I said mummy my midwife is oyinbo so its clinical waste.Am sure if she was black she wouldve wanted to collect it .Geez.

Its the same bewildrement i get when my friends in Nigeria have babies through CS and are begging you pls dont tell anyone o.Its only you i told. .I get you dont need to broadcast it but does it really matter how baby was born or that mummy and baby are fine?Its seen like one taboo.A friend almost died cos her mum kept binding CS spirit.

ferhyntorlah: Poster, you can't blame them. This is Nigeria, anything can happen. They only want to be on the safe side. Haven't you heard of some women being pregnant for 1year before delivery?

I remember in my final year, a coursemate of mine got pregnancy and when some of us asked her the EDD, she politely told us that she couldn't say it because it wasn't appropriate due to tradition or something like it.

Even my mom never discussed her EDD with anyone. She said the only people who knew were her doctor, my dad and herself.

You can't trust anyone; this is pregnancy we are talking about especially in this part of the world where PHD and jazz abound.

The whites aren't like that because their way of life and doing things are different from ours.

So, don't bother asking your pregnant friends and relatives their EDD. You should only be concerned about the EDD of your patients.