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I am not too good at this i.e talking about the man woman affair for obvious reasons and I do rarely get involve. One of the many reasons that kept me out of it is what

I’m dragging us into now. When relationship fail, it’s certainly due to poor handling and that obviously should be someone’s duty, I mean proper management of it.

Therefore when it crumbles, it’s then obvious that someone has not been up to his/her job. Yet, when all go sore in a relationship, it’s no one’s faults because no one would accept blame for it. The question now is why do relationships fail in Nigeria and why are there so many broken relationships/marriages? My simple answer is, women are culpable 80% of the time. (Now I can hear women throwing bricks at my head but hold your horses yet and hang on…you will soon see reasons with me).
First of all let me face the men. Guys, when you are in a relationship, please stay right in there in that relationship. Period. There is no reason carrying unnecessary cargo about trying to be a playboy. You have 16 girlfriends and you profess love to all of them, just hoping that one will eventually distinguish herself and you choose her to settle with. Accepted that monogamy is both overrated and IMPOSSIBLE for men (ladies don’t be taken by the hype that you are the only one in his life. You aren’t and can never be. Genetically, males are designed for more than one partner so deal with it). No matter how devoted a man is, at least once in his lifetime, there will be that moment of indiscretion. However, it is unnerving that the indiscretion gets one too many for guys. It gradually becomes habit and eventually a way of life. If as a man you want your woman to respect and love you, then that one (or very few) moments of indiscretion must be discreet and minimal. Your woman looks to you for support no matter how strong and tough she appears to be. Your irresponsibility kills it for her.



Again, it was just a slap or a shove and before long, it becomes batter. Men when you hit your woman, you kill a chunk of her heart. Forget how much she might have hurt you with what she said or what she did, a man who hits a woman has no self-control. What use is your headship of the home when you cannot stand in the face of extreme provocation and make your point? And in any case, there are other ways to make a woman hurt back than using your fists; IGNORE HER. And I mean 100%. Do not reject her food. Eat it, it’s your sweat. Sleep in the same bed and in the same house, but make her see she doesn’t exist. At some point, she will break down and ask for a reprieve. Believe me no woman wants to be ignored. No matter how many times it comes up. Her gene is wired to be flattered and given attention. Starve her of those, and you get to the ultimate hurt she can ever experience.



Most guys make one classic mistake of pretending everything is ok when the woman wrongs him. GUYS!!! That’s madness. You know deep down in you that you are hurt and can’t really take it and that because you haven’t voiced it reduce the resentment it is built a little at a time. Without knowing it you start hating or feeling indifferent, a little at a time and soon enough, your attitude towards her changes. Please let her know in as mild a manner as possible, that you disapprove of a certain action. Tell her your reasons and discuss why it will not be beneficial that it is repeated. When you do this, you get the load off your chest. She may see it you being difficult but over time as such incidences occur less and less, there won’t even be any complaints anymore. This means by extension that you should let the woman know the true you from the outset. Forget the notion that she might not want to date you if she find out that you guys have ideological differences. If she really likes you, she will date you, if she doesn’t, will not. For it is better that she knows u to be strict and firm and then get softer during the relationship than she finds you so be soft and easy-going (and she gets used to you) and then somewhere in the relationship you harden.

Please let her know your means and worth. Please do not borrow money to buy things for your woman just because she asks and you want to please her. Because you do it today doesn’t mean she won’t find other things she likes tomorrow and ask you for them. A woman quickly creates a comfort zone which she finds harder to adjust. As guys we can jump out of a Benz S-65 AMG and push the car if it’s stuck in the mud in a heartbeat. We can easily adjust to using keke instead of that our cherished car if the economy fractures. A woman will take longer to adjust because there is a part in her that is fixated in glitz and glamour. From the get go, please set the limits of what you can get for her. Give her presents, YES! But let it be what you can afford within your means. It is not love, but stupidity to buy your woman Brazilian hair of N100,000 when your salary is N130,000. Brazilian hair is mere fashion, believe me, something better will come next year and she will throw it away. Not necessarily because she doesn’t like it, but because it’s no longer fashionable! Fashion will not understand that you probably drank garri for weeks on its behalf, reality will.

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written By: Joseph Pee

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