salt 1: At 90, my grandma was still slapping my 70year old mom and calling her a naughty child. She also covered my mouth with a slap once.
Now that she's gone, we remember her with so much tenderness and love; the odd slaps notwithstanding, she was a very likeable person.
Tough love! But you won't have her forever! Go, girl, tell Mom you love her soooooo much and even tho you resent the slap, you know she loves you enough to care about how you behave and you'll always be there for her.
Believe me, if she dies tomorrow and you're going thro this your thread, you'll be ashamed Of your reaction and wish she was around: even to slap you.
Nobody, not even your dad who's moved on with another woman, loves you like this your emotionally needy Mom.
You're ALL she has and she's the only person that truly loves you

wirinet: I am very disappointed reading comments from fellow nigerians, especially the youth claiming it is ok or acceptable to be physically abused by parents. It is even more shocking to claim that physically hitting a 23 year old adult is discipline, training and love. Any parents that could not instill discipline on his child by the age of 20 has failed, because permanent character traits have formed by that age.

Physically abusing young adults to me is a sign of mental laziness, psychological disorder and weakness. It just shows someone who is trying to dominate those who seems weak and vulnerable. Such person would not be able to stand up to those in superior positions.

Young adults needs to realize they are adults and leaders of today not tomorrow. At 23, they could be in leadership position leading people their parents age. So it makes no sense for them to cower or tremble before parents or their age group.

What a parent should crave from their children is respect and love, not fear and domination. No wonder the general population take and accept abuse from elders, politicians, religious leaders, etc.

salt 1: At 90, my grandma was still slapping my 70year old mom and calling her a naughty child. She also covered my mouth with a slap once.
Now that she's gone, we remember her with so much tenderness and love; the odd slaps notwithstanding, she was a very likeable person.
Tough love! But you won't have her forever! Go, girl, tell Mom you love her soooooo much and even tho you resent the slap, you know she loves you enough to care about how you behave and you'll always be there for her.
Believe me, if she dies tomorrow and you're going thro this your thread, you'll be ashamed Of your reaction and wish she was around: even to slap you.
Nobody, not even your dad who's moved on with another woman, loves you like this your emotionally needy Mom.
You're ALL she has and she's the only person that truly loves you

wirinet:

your 90 yr old granny slapping your mum at 70? Was that a disciplinary measure, training or show of affection also?

From the above it simply meant that your granny was richer and more influential than your mum. Because we Africans love to subjugate and dominate those we have power over. That is why a police corporal would slap those he feels he has power over. If your mum was a first lady, a senior government official or a successful business woman, your granny would not dear insult your mum not to talk of slapping her.

salt 1:

My grandma at 90 richer or more influential than my mom at 70? We never gave that a thought but now that you say it, I think they were equally POOR!

Slapping mama had nothing to do with discipline, training or affection. It had all to do with the matriarch's disposition. This is why I told the op that her mom is emotionally needy. Considered a failure by a society which stigmatizes a female divorcee as a failure, all hopes of being reconciled to her husband dashed by seeing the man has moved on with another woman, she pours in all her love (and occasional frustrations) on this only child she can call her own. But the young woman is an individual and sometimes doesn't meet Mom's expectations and she lashes out at her.
The young woman, who hopes to be a mom one day, should reassure her mom of her love and support, not threaten or retaliate. They have each other and will pull through this difficult phase and enjoy adult friendship.

FXKing2012: Rating all the advice on this thread, I think mine would be rated the best because my advice got the most likes which means @staicey the OP should use my advice

youngchopper: u sure say ur gal dey dix we site so? Watching u on 3D. Nairaland police

FXKing2012:
If you are earning peanuts then you need to up your pay in order to depend less on her. You say she buys you things and I'm sure she also picks all the bills, that might actually cause her not to respect you as much as you'd have wanted even though she loves you.

As for the boyfriend, you need to be extra careful because most of them boys are only after one thing.

Well...might be able to help you out as regards upping your income.

SAFO: 23 yrs old and still living at home

As long as you maintain under her roof, prepare to continously be slapped. Ever heard the idiom "My house my rules".

staicey:

Is that how you were/are slapped whem you were still staying under same roof with your parents? I dont get it

Fhemmmy:

Lol

Jah Man:

You are the most depraved human being I have ever come across in NL?
And who told you a man must have an ex he will always run back to?
Who taught those EX's how to perform very well at the sex-act?
Don't you know the ultimate pleasure is in learning and exploring your bodies together as husband and wife?
Please stop opening your mouth in publish to vomit devilish advice.
It is either you repent or you are in danger of hell fire.

@OP, I am coming back to respond to you after an urgent meeting.
But note that,those telling you what you want to hear,or are planning to do may be misleading you.
Slapping a 23 year old sounds strange,but we have only heard your part of the story.
Stay tuned.......

chichi254: Achina boy, since when did pre-marital sex becom a virtue? It hurts me 2 hear/see people like u whose ulterior motive is 2 lure peopl into sexual immorality in d name of advice. The so called professionals u talked about, were they not once virgins b4 they met people like u who brainwashed them into losing it? U don't even deserve 2 marry a virgin so don't worry urself about d possibility of not enjoyin sex wit them. Concernin what u will advise ur children, if i were God, i won't give u any since u desire is 2 lead them astray. Anyway, i would advise that u stop deceivin innocent souls becos i beliv that deep inside u, u knw d truth.

greatgod2012: @op, i guess by now, you should have resolved this slapping issue with your mum as i suggested.
Wishing you goodluck.

staicey: Thank you, ma
but mum is outta town hoping to do that when she returns. Wow! read so many comments, some hilarious, some good, some bad but guess what? I picked out the best.

Yours was wonderful, never thought of that. What do i owe you if it works out? Lol!

staicey: I no longer find this funny whenever it happens.

Hello? I just clocked 23 some weeks back and only for mum to slap me 2days back because i didnt make her coffee hot enough to her satisfaction. Wtf?
My mum loves slapping me around and this annoys me. Not that she doesnt love me because she still buys me stuffs and takes me out and for the fact that am the only issue, well...you know the rest but this case of slappings, i dont like. I've told her several times and after moments of apologies tendered from her, she's doing it the next minute


please, y'all whether singles or married, tell me if this sh-it is normal because am already loosing a hold of myself. I dont like this one bit

I might just move in with my dad or sue her!!

achina boy:
U are not God,and will never be,,i already got three kids all girls,and i will not let them get married as virgins,this is my life and my opinion,so choose yours,i have my reasons,i have my experiences,i wonder what u call the truth?so getting married as a virgin is the truth?abi,in 5 to 10 years time i hope to hear a different testimony from you because i would love to,,,,,,i have never disvirgined any girl ,and i dont hope to because am married,,,,,,finally,make sure u are not those so called christians,because i was once one.

achina boy:
U are not God,and will never be,,i already got three kids all girls,and i will not let them get married as virgins,this is my life and my opinion,so choose yours,i have my reasons,i have my experiences,i wonder what u call the truth?so getting married as a virgin is the truth?abi,in 5 to 10 years time i hope to hear a different testimony from you because i would love to,,,,,,i have never disvirgined any girl ,and i dont hope to because am married,,,,,,finally,make sure u are not those so called christians,because i was once one.

achina boy:
U are not God,and will never be,,i already got three kids all girls,and i will not let them get married as virgins,this is my life and my opinion,so choose yours,i have my reasons,i have my experiences,i wonder what u call the truth?so getting married as a virgin is the truth?abi,in 5 to 10 years time i hope to hear a different testimony from you because i would love to,,,,,,i have never disvirgined any girl ,and i dont hope to because am married,,,,,,finally,make sure u are not those so called christians,because i was once one.

achina boy:
U are not God,and will never be,,i already got three kids all girls,and i will not let them get married as virgins,this is my life and my opinion,so choose yours,i have my reasons,i have my experiences,i wonder what u call the truth?so getting married as a virgin is the truth?abi,in 5 to 10 years time i hope to hear a different testimony from you because i would love to,,,,,,i have never disvirgined any girl ,and i dont hope to because am married,,,,,,finally,make sure u are not those so called christians,because i was once one.