Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? - Family - Nairaland
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| Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Buuggz(f): 11:02pm On Feb 27, 2013 |
hi people, I'm really in need of ur candid advice. i just graduated from university waiting for service, just discovered that i am pregnant for my boyfriend of three months. i told him that i am pregnant and he is saying he cannot afford a baby now because he wants to travel out of the country. i told him i cannot abort the pregnancy yet all he says is i should see it from his point of view. but i don't want to risk my life and at the same time he has little or no money, lives with his brother. right now i don't think he can afford a wedding and getting an accomodation. please what do i do...im confused p.s.: ive not told any member of my family yet. |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Everest9(m): 11:13pm On Feb 27, 2013 |
you should let your family know about it because i will not ask you to abort it cuz is against the will of God and on the other hand your bf is not capable to handle things or to make things right so my suggestion is to let your family know about it |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by vallycan: 11:23pm On Feb 27, 2013 |
Wen u wre funfully doin and enjoyin it didn't u rememba d consequenz,nw ya secret enjoyin as a produce an open result so enjoy to as u dance the music of ya own beat n tune: |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by vallycan: 11:24pm On Feb 27, 2013 |
Wen u wre funfully doin and enjoyin it didn't u rememba d consequenz,nw ya secret enjoyin as a produce an open result so enjoy to as u dance the music of ya own beat n tune:  |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by ifyalways(f): 11:47pm On Feb 27, 2013 |
How could you,a graduate be pregnant for a boyfriend of 3 months? What do you do?Eat a condom maybe  3 Likes |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by baby124: 11:50pm On Feb 27, 2013 |
ifyalways: How could you,a graduate be pregnant for a boyfriend of 3 months? LMAO. people must be sharing and recycling condoms these days, that is why it was so scarce for the OP. That decision OP is left for you. Na you go remain with the pickin when the guy leaves for where ever he is going. That choice is not for anyone to make. The deed is done, but jeez babes. How you go just open am gbaga for man wey no fit even buy sweet for you, not to talk of take care of a baby. na wa o.   |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Nobody: 11:53pm On Feb 27, 2013 |
ifyalways: How could you,a graduate be pregnant for a boyfriend of 3 months? Lol! The two bolded are just incomparable. It is unheard of. Maybe poster is naive and a novice.. but a graduate? Nahhh..well, deed is done and all we can do is advice  poster, first things first, just tell your parents.. you are a big lady not some child, am sure they wont scold you rather they would look for a means to help out. |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by biolabee(m): 11:54pm On Feb 27, 2013 |
vallycan: Wen u wre funfully doin and enjoyin it didn't u rememba d consequenz,nw ya secret enjoyin as a produce an open result so enjoy to as u dance the music of ya own beat n tune: animal the deed has been done OP before you do anything read this to have an idea of what to expect If you are geniune, with good advice you can come out of this looking good https://www.nairaland.com/1191865/pls-advice-me-losin-it/ https://www.nairaland.com/1202357/single-parenting-love-life-career/ Let me know what u think |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Roland17(m): 12:24am On Feb 28, 2013 |
Sincerely, its very disappointing reading such tales in today's world, but like others have alluded "the deed has already been done and can't be reversed", ridiculing you based on your situation is of no use. We all make mistakes, everyone has made one or two terrible mistakes we wish we can reverse but we can't, in-fact, many are still being judged by the mistakes they have made. the most important lesson from mistakes is learning and i mean, truly learning from mistakes, your story is synonymous to many ladies, they wish they were wiser, some claim to have learnt, but fall for the same trick and become baby factories, destroying what they would have truly achieved in life, but the strong and courageous learn from it and it shapes who they become in the near future. On what you should do? keeping such issues personal depends on you, it depends on what you want, but i must warn you to trash the idea of him getting married to you because you are pregnant for him, today's modern man can not be hooked by getting pregnant for him, especially the young and adventurous, if he's not willing to be responsible for the pregnancy like i already suspect, its your cross, its a test of your faith, its a test of who u truly are. Keeping such to your self can be very depressing, with so many thoughts running through your mind, time is one luxury u can't afford in this situation, i always advice speaking with some one you trust, i do not know the sort of relationship u have with your parents/guardians but i always say they should know first, you are not a teenager you are considered an adult. whatever decision you finally make, pray about it, forgive yourself and most importantly learn from it. You would be fine..... 3 Likes |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Roland17(m): 12:26am On Feb 28, 2013 |
vallycan: Wen u wre funfully doin and enjoyin it didn't u rememba d consequenz,nw ya secret enjoyin as a produce an open result so enjoy to as u dance the music of ya own beat n tune: Anuofia, shut up!!!!!! if u do not have anything reasonable to say!! as if you do not have secrets of your own or have not made bad choices... |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by slimyem: 12:55am On Feb 28, 2013 |
This kain matter dey always tire me  |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by greatgod2012(f): 1:12am On Feb 28, 2013 |
Hhhhmmmmm....... Graduate? Boyfriend of 3 months? No condom? No concrete discussion b4 flesh to flesh? Pregnant? Awaiting service? What do you do? Sincerely, i sympathise with you, im sure, even if your bf is rich, not planning to travel, he may not likely allow you to use your being pregnant to tie him to you, ie, may not really get married to you, it seems you sound too naive for him, hence, his refusal. Well, we all make mistakes, and as others have said, d deed had already been done, may be this will make you smarter, so, buckle up, learn from this and carry your cross, it is well. What to do....................tell your parents, how?..........do not go direct to them yourself, go thru an intermediary, probably, a highly respected and confidant family friend, he/she will know how to table d matter b4 your parents, and you can move forward from there. Warning.........do not abort that baby, you never knew your destiny, and who knows tomorrow, that baby may later be your most source of joy, babies with controversies like this usually make it bigger in life and even in d life of d guy self. So, my dear, do not wallow in selfpity, gather yourself together, move ahead, forgive yourself and learn from your mistake. Tell yourself, this aint going to debar me from reaching my goal in life, remember........there is always another day. May God help us all. 3 Likes |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Nobody: 4:07am On Feb 28, 2013 |
You are not serious @Op |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Charliemorgano(m): 4:17am On Feb 28, 2013 |
keep the baby joor,tell your parents and the guy should do same,then let the guy know he has a responsibility wherever he is travelling to he has to definitely include his child in his plans |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Nobody: 4:31am On Feb 28, 2013 |
greatgod2012: Hhhhmmmmm.......seconded! 1 Like |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by youngalex(m): 4:39am On Feb 28, 2013 |
@ mechummy dis preety face wetin u dey kaduna de do? U should be in Lagos..come over here babe |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by RoyalRoy(m): 5:16am On Feb 28, 2013 |
ifyalways: How could you,a graduate be pregnant for a boyfriend of 3 months?. Most times I wonder your level of maturity!!! When you have nothing constructive to say why not keep quiet instead of making fun of other people's situation? Agreed she messed up, it has happened, so next thing is to find solution! People who assume a holier than thou attitude like you really don't cut it for me.!!! Wake up joor, or better still go for a year holiday at the romance section!!!. . 2 Likes |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Nobody: 6:20am On Feb 28, 2013 |
What you should do is prepare to have a baby. |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by biolabee(m): 6:34am On Feb 28, 2013 |
greatgod2012: Hhhhmmmmm....... I support everything u said however she does not have to keep the baby Single moms are statistically more disadvantaged in the workplace than other group of females because they never have time to make for interview; they can't take some kind of jobs (maybe travel or offshore jobs) because they can't be too far from their babies. This further perpetuates their poverty and makes them susceptible to dating Yes all well and good about sentiment of destiny, joy of life and etc etc why is the woman burdened with a load of care when the biological papa wey get p.rick and fit phock does not have a phock to give? Dear Buggz have you read the links. In additon to - Getting intermediaries so you can sort your parent they will naturally be cross - Officially notify your bf parents so they can know and by their actions you will know their stand. - Look at yourself wella and check your background and ask yourself can you really support a child alone from now till 18 at least? Because this may be reality of your life as single mums are stignatised and tend to compound their mistakes in love again. - if you are sure and feel convinced go ahead IF YOU ARE NOT SURE PLEASE LOOK FOR A GOOD CHILDLESS COUPLE AND GIVE UP THAT CHILD FOR ADOPTION OR FIND OUT IF AN ORPHANAGE WILL TAKE THAT CHILD. ANYTHING ELSE LIKE SENTIMENTS BLA BLA WILL COMPOUND YOUR MISERY AND SORROW. ish You can contact cool heads like debrief, chair cover *nd any of the other esteemed honourable women on this forum who have good naija roots and are still grounded here to give u a very good picture. You can also contact me via PM for more advice. |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Nobody: 7:21am On Feb 28, 2013 |
My dear sister, do you really think he would have married you if he had money and not planning to travel out? My answer is no. These days, men think ladies use pregnancy to pin them down which to an extent its true. This same thing happened to my friend (a guy) and he married her but right now all he does is provide basic needs for her like shelter, food, money and little sex because he married her just because she was pregnant. He said he was not planning to marry her or any other girl at that time. Please be strong and have your baby or abort it if that's what you want but don't try to corner him into marriage. 2 Likes |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Nobody: 8:02am On Feb 28, 2013 |
but forgive me folks but why do people still make crazy mistakes like having kids with a nuisance? 3 Likes |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by RoyalRoy(m): 8:10am On Feb 28, 2013 |
davidylan: but forgive me folks but why do people still make crazy mistakes like having kids with a nuisance? Because sex is now very cheap!! Any nuisance with a little swag & cash to flash takes a bite! You get my drift? *winks* 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Nobody: 8:44am On Feb 28, 2013 |
youngalex: @ mechummy dis preety face wetin u dey kaduna de do? U should be in Lagos..come over here babe  |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by ifyalways(f): 8:47am On Feb 28, 2013 |
Royal Roy:Very interesting. You need a job,perhaps  You spend most of your times wondering about an online handle?You OK? |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by biolabee(m): 9:59am On Feb 28, 2013 |
davidylan: but forgive me folks but why do people still make crazy mistakes like having kids with a nuisance? Yes we do make but a problem shared is a problem half solved We can reach out |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by debosky(m): 10:11am On Feb 28, 2013 |
Dunno why some people are mentioning condoms - did she say she didn't use condoms? Even condoms don't offer 100% protection y'know. The situation she's in is a classic time of getting pregnant - idle time, no work, boyfriend 'in lust' = lots of sex and potential pregnancy. Anyhoo, that is water under the bridge - condoms will not reverse the situation she's in. You have few options - Have the baby and keep him/her without him marrying you (I'm pretty sure he won't). - Have the baby and give it up for adoption. - Have a termination. If you can't risk your life, all you have is 1 and 2. In order to do #1, you need to inform your parents to see if they (or some other family members) can support you. In order to do #2, you will still need to inform your parents, unless you can go to another time (maybe during NYSC) and have the baby without their knowledge. Personally, I'd start with opening up to my parents - what has happened has happened - you need to deal with it as an adult. 2 Likes |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Nobody: 11:15am On Feb 28, 2013 |
[quote author=Royal Roy] . Most times I wonder your level of maturity!!! When you have nothing constructive to say why not keep quiet instead of making fun of other people's situation? Agreed she messed up, it has happened, so next thing is to find solution! People who assume a holier than thou attitude like you really don't cut it for me.!!! Wake up joor, or better still go for a year holiday at the romance section!!!. My brother, please leave them alone oooo. Don't u know they are very perfect? They have never made any mistake at all since they were born. They are always thinking and acting right. If only we can see what dey do in secret. . . Only God knows who is who. 3 Likes |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by dipotech: 11:54am On Feb 28, 2013 |
You are matured enough to handle this yourself. When you were allowed this, didn't you think of consequence? Why would you engage in such when you know you are not ready for pregnancy, a graduate for that matter. This is not to embarrass you but remember you were sent to school so as to know difference between the right and the wrong, please let your family know otherwise you are on your own. Ask God to forgive your sin but it's a sin if you don't know. |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Woged2005(f): 12:12pm On Feb 28, 2013 |
Why do we Africans make a big deal of a girl being pregnant when all of us came through pregnancy? Americans give birth to their own no matter their age or financial situation. OP I think you are trying to impress society at ur expense. Talk to your mom and the boy's mother and let them know you want to keep the baby...go register in a hospital and start preparing. Elderly Nigerian Mother's love babies The baby father will come for that same baby someday. If he is reasonable and truly loves u, he can just give u a ring now for engagement to re-assure you (marriage later when money come). but know there's a sacrifice to anything. In this case you may be home, not working, to look after the baby for sometime 1 Like |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by biolabee(m): 12:58pm On Feb 28, 2013 |
Woged2005: Why do we Africans make a big deal of a girl being pregnant when all of us came through pregnancy? Americans give birth to their own no matter their age or financial situation. OP I think you are trying to impress society at ur expense. Talk to your mom and the boy's mother and let them know you want to keep the baby...go register in a hospital and start preparing. Elderly Nigerian Mother's love babies What about if he never takes responsibility What if he never comes back What if she cant really afford to take care of a baby |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Joebeck(f): 1:46pm On Feb 28, 2013 |
Start buying baby things. |
| Re: Im Pregnant, What Do I Do? by Nobody: 1:59pm On Feb 28, 2013 |
op, this is your first trimester if am correct, thinking of abortion at this stage might terminate your life if you eventually go into it. Though, there have been cases of people who survived it. I'll advice you keep the baby and if you do not want it after delivery, you can give her/him up to the motherless homes of which am sure your mum would not allow this, hence the reason i said something earlier about telling your parents. It is going to be hard initially, I know, but you will find out later that you would be soo peaceful with your life.. Never abort the baby, it might be God sent to you. Nobody knows what tomorrow holds. Whatever you do, think of the future, not the present. I wish you all the lucks. 1 Like |
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