Chon Wang: What happened my horse? Is he dead?
Roy O'Bannon: No, but we are, Chon.



SHANGHAI NOON

Sex Machine: So what's your name, darlin'?
Kate: Kate. What's yours?
Sex Machine: Sex Machine, pleased to meet you.



FROM DUSK TILL DAWN

Chet Pussy: All right,pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in pussy lovers!All pussy must go. At the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! This is a pussy blow out! Make us an offer on our vast selection of pussy! We got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, hot pussy, cold pussy, wet pussy, tight pussy, big pussy, bloody pussy, fat pussy, hairy pussy, smelly pussy, velvet pussy, silk pussy, Naugahyde pussy, snappin' pussy, horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy, fake pussy! If we don't got it, then you don't want it!



FROM DUSK TILL DAWN

Kate: Where are you taking us?
Richie: Mexico.
Kate: What's in Mexico?
Richie: Mexicans.


FROM DUSK TILL DAWN

Richie: Shit, I started to get worried. Where the Bleep ya been?
Seth: Sight seein'.
Richie: What'd ya see?
Seth: Cops.

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN

Seth: I don't give a damn about living any more. All I care about is taking as many as those demons back to hell as I can.
Jacob: Amen.


FROM DUSK TILL DAWN

Jessica Martin: I don't know if there's anything I could ever do to thank you
Ryan: I do. Don't ever call me again



CELLULAR

Chad: [greeting girls at the pier] Hey Chloe. Sam. Friend with nipples.



CELLULAR

Ethan: [on walkie talkie] We found him yet?
Dmitri: No, I don't see him.
Ethan: He's the one on the cell phone, you idiot.
[looks through his binoculars and sees various people on cell phones]
Dmitri: Everybody's on a cell phone.



CELLULAR

Huge Explosion, John Spartan steps from the wreckage]
Simon Phoenix: Damn, this fucker's like a New York cockroach!



DEMOLITION MAN

[Delivering Alfalfa's letter to Darla]
Buckwheat: Dear Darla, I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes! Love, Alfalfa.



THE LITTLE RASCALS

Buckwheat: Quick, what's the number for 911?



LITTLE RASCALS

Mr. Welling: If you were my kids, I'd punish you.
Stymie: If we were YOUR kids, we'd punish ourselves!


THE LITTLE RASCALS

Waldo: We just moved into town. My father bought the oil refinery.
Darla: That explains why you're so refined!
Alfalfa: Yeah, and so oily!






LITTLE RASCALS

Stymie: Wood doesn't grow on trees!


LITTLE RASCALS

Alfalfa: Why am I soaking wet?
Porky: Don't worry, Alfalfa. I used to have the same problem.


LITTLE RASCALS

Deputy Doofy: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law.
Buffy Gilmore: Yeah, and Mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner!


SCARY MOVIE 1

Ray: [Dressing Brenda up in football clothes] Get your little sexy ass over here,
[Brenda jumps in to the bed]
Ray: Take it Brendan, take it Brendan,
Brenda: Who?
Ray: Uhh, Brenda!



SCARY MOVIE 1

Deputy Doofy: Special Officer Doofy reporting!
Policeman #1: Hey, Doofy! Smell my fingers!
Deputy Doofy: What's that?
Policeman #1: That's when you know you've become a man, Doofy.
Deputy Doofy: Hey, Terry! Smell my fingers!
Policeman #1: What the hell is that?
Deputy Doofy: My ass!


SCARY MOVIE 1

The Killer: [rapping] I'm gonna slash and gash, cut another hole in your ass. I spill blood on the walls, then play tennis with your balls. If the phone rings, don't answer the call. Gonna slit your throat, Bleep you like a goat, peal your foreskin off and make a winter coat. Peace!
[camera pulls back to reveal all of Shorty's friends dead]
Shorty: Yo! That was the illest rhyme I ever seen!



SCARY MOVIE 1

Bobby: You hear? Drew got killed last night.
Ray: Wait, she had a brother right, Steve?
Bobby: Yeah.
Ray: Yeah? Long hair, pretty little mouth, perfect ass?
Bobby: Yep, that was her.
Ray: Nah, I'm talking about Steve. Whatever happened to him?



SCARY MOVIE 1

Cindy Campbell: You guys are psychos! You've seen one too many TV shows!
Ray: No, Cindy! Watching TV shows don't create psycho killers. Canceling TV shows creates psycho killers!


SCARY MOVIE 1

Ray: [displaying a yellow sleevless shirt] Does this shirt make me look gay?
Greg: Naw, man.
Ray: [tucks the bottom of the shirt over so it looks like a bra] How 'bout now?
Greg: No.




SCARY MOVIE 1

The Killer: [after stumbling around, letting his victim escape] I gotta stop drinking.


SCARY MOVIE 1

George: I have a dream.
Tom: What is your dream?
George: To have a dream.



SCARY MOVIE 3

Mr. Meeks: These just came today. Photos from a trip she took.
[passes them to Cindy]
Cindy: [Cindy flicks through photos] They're blank.
Mrs. Meeks: Turn them around, honey.
Cindy: Oh.



SCARY MOVIE 3

Dewey Finn: Your kids have all really touched me, and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them.



SCHOOL OF ROCK

wow girl u really into this thats hottt i c u like watchin movies

i'll b1tch slap you back to Africa --------------jackie chan----rush hour2

if you don't bust a nut when i bust a nut, then u fresh outt@ fcukin luck --------bernie mac----kings of comedy

Lee: They. . . they'll torture us for three days. . .

Cutter: Then what?

Lee: Then. . .they'll cut off our 'eggrolls'

_________________

Cutter: I have a dream, that someday black people, and white people -- and even chinese people -- will gather together around a table and gamble together without being given small chips!
_________________

Cutter: Tell me, when last did you go on a date - The Year of the Rat?
_________________

Lee: Snoopy? I love Snoopy.

Cutter: Hey, wait a minute -- I love Snoopy too.
__________________


all from Rush Hour 2. Some of them are not word-for-word, but you get the idea. I've still got some in my arsenal.

i kill communists for fun but for a green card, i will carve him up nicely.------ scarface

hey hey fu*k you man. who put this thing together? me. who do i trust? me

america is like a very big pussy waiting to get bleeped.

all i got in this world is ma ballz and my words and i break 'em for no one

ju wann@ play rough? okay, say hello to my lil friend

i never fu*ked no one in the ass dat didnt have it coming to them

imm@ tell you one time tony, dont Bleep with me.

you need people like me, so you can point your fucking fingers and say thats the bad guy.

make way for the bad guy. there is a bad guy coming through

you too mel, you bleeped up

fu*k caspa gomez and fu*k the fucking diaz brothers. i bury those cock a roaches.






all from scarface. thats what i call a movie.