My wife gave birth days ago who,s suppose to take care of my newbaby, my mother or my wife mother?both are willing to come and if both comes what is your advice.

traditionally speaking,
it depends on where u r from
i', guesing u r yoruba. for u, der mum is suppose to come cos the child has ur surname not dat of ur wife's mother
it's diffeent for some people from the east. dey believe the wife's mother should come probably because the wife is closer to her than the husband's mother.
personally, any one of them. as far as the person does a good job and relieves the wife
good luck

They should simply take turn. If you can explain to your mum for her to wait as the 'Elder' and for your mother in law to come first for say 1-2 months and your mum to come later and they can alternate it.

It is for you and your wife to reach a good loving decision and explain to your both mothers without bitterness.

If you sense any bitterness or they show one, you should tell them you will cancel the idea or forget it totally.

All the best and congratulations.

I would prefer my mother-in-law to com first then my mother would then come after a while. Although this is subject to the relationship my wife has with my mother and her own mother.


But ideally I think my wife's mother should come first as she understands her daughter better.

whatever, somebody should sha come, if u have rooms plenty enough. Invite them both.

let your wife's mother come, aside carrying the baby there are some other THINGS she has to do for your wife that she might not be comfortable with some1 she s not close to

except she s not close to her mum,, or she doesnt really mind

nenyenwato:

let your wife's mother come, aside carrying the baby there are some other THINGS she has to do for your wife that she might not be comfortable with someone she s not close to

except she s not close to her mum,, or she doesnt really mind

well said.

I say both of them should come

First come first serve.

The whole village should come.




On a serious note,your wife's mum should come first. She may not be comfy having your mother bathing her, or seeing her naked. So her mom hs to come to do all the necessary things, then your mom can come later.

Congrats on the new addition.

your wife's mother should come first, because she will be more comfortable with her.

She will be free to tell her mum what she wants in terms of cooking, washing, bathing her, and many other things.

So your mum should come after her.

For both of them coming at the same time no, i will not advice that bcs you know women after like two weeks of their stay, they will start raising eyebrow for each other.As we all know in-laws relationship is better from afar. Pls do not make mistake of inviting your mother and mother in-law to come and stay in your house together for the same period of time, no matter how understanding you think both of them are.

In most cases, it should be your mum.When i had my daughter, my mother was around for close to 4months while my step mum took over from her for about 3mths and my mother in law came in at intervals. The fact is that your MUM is suppose to take care of your child but in a situation whereby you can accomodate both of them,then no BIG DEAL !
CONGRATULOVIA !

Your wife's mom.

Ur mother-in-law, should take care of the new baby.

I am very against using grandparents for baby sitting purposes.  Maybe because I just never grew up with that idea.  It is a very strenous job for elderly parents especially and would not want to put my parents through such sleepless nights and restless moments.  Most of them from Nigeria are not even in the best of health "to their knowledge" or otherwise.  Many have been known to come and have stroke over here only to be sent back in a casket for "stress"!

@Topic

I would have to say "NEITHER"!   They can visit for like 2 weeks and leave.  I like to make other alternatives like having paid "professionals" in child development and welfare to attend to such matters.  If that is not an option. . .we would definitely have to re-arrange our schedules to accomodate for letting someone be home at all times to take care of such needs.

I usually love to give ma parents a good time and lots of rest for when they visit.  It is usually an opportunity to let them have a complete medical work up.  Using them as domestic helps would defeat the purpose.  I just can't do that!

Congratulations oooooooooooh!  If you are so interested in that kind of arrangement. . .talk to your wife about it and you guys can toss a coin to settle the matter! Goodluck!

Your mother-in-law i think

My mum stays around the corner from me anyway.  I have a good relationship with my mother in law to be and because

she lives in nigeria, she will be the one to come.  My mum can pop in once in a whil and my mama has to work anyway.

So it's my mum in law, and she's not coming to baby sit, just show me the ropes.

Your mother-in-law i think.

Whoever your wife wants. It is not complicated at all. If she wants her mother now then your mom should wait until after your mother in law leaves.

Outstrip:

Whoever your wife wants. It is not complicated at all. If she wants her mother now then your mom should wait until after your mother in law leaves.

I quite agree with outstrip there. Seek your wife's opinion first. Whoever she wants come.

The other alternative is to take of your baby yourselves,

There might be conflits in the way things should be done, bathing, feeding etc and this might just give the new mother unnecessary stress.

I have heard MIL tell DIL that I did this to your husband and nothing happened to him, why can't I do the same for my grandchild (eg umbilcal cord)

I didn't want the stress so for our two boys I didn't want anyone and I coped fine.

It might also be a good bonding time for the family.

Bothy my mother and mother in-law are late,the thing is we don't know who will help us take care of our newborn baby when she delivers. I suggested we hire a nanny.

Huh? I don't understand this? Why can't the new parents look after their own baby?

English1:

Huh? I don't understand this? Why can't the new parents look after their own baby?

'Easier said than done'!. But especially if it happens to be their first baby, they surely need all the help they can get. And this is where mums come in. In time, you'll know what we're talking about here

Hmmm, What's wrong with you two taking care of your child? Its better that way. You can learn the ropes together. The grannies can just come and visit.

The wifey's mum, she is the one her daughter can trust and feel free with,

what has tradition has to do with who takes care of a baby, who gave birth to the baby? i am sure it is neither your mother, nor your mother-in-maw, so taking care of the baby is the duty of your wife, but either of the other mother could lend a helping hands, if they chose to, and you and your wife has a say on when they shd even help.

For me my mother came to stay with me first. It is always nice when we have our children for our mothers to be there. There are personal things that I would not feel comfortable sharing or showing to my MIL.

But your wife should decide who she would prefer.

How about the father?

KarmaMod:

How about the father?

God question.

your wife's mother should come becos there are some errands in the house that she can send her mother but she can't send your mother,besides mother in laws are funny at imes.

They can share the duty, 1 week one and the other week another one. Simple!
That way , they will have time to take care of their own stuffs