SELFWORTH:

I concur. All those who gave advice here based on a one sided story are obviously immature.

It is very very mature to draw the conclusion you have drawn.You are wiser than Solomon.Good Job!!

omonnakoda:
It is very very mature to draw the conclusion you have drawn.You are wiser than Solomon.Good Job!!

interesting from someone who said the woman may have mental illness on the basis of one account

biolabee:

interesting from someone who said the woman may have mental illness on the basis of one account

Did I say she has a mental illness?
Please show where I said she has a mental illness.
I am sure I chose my words carefully and NEVER said she has a mental illness
You are illiterate but that is not my problem. I have no problem with telling you as it is really .You on the other hand certainly are not well at all

stop crapping dude...
your exact words
if according to you it is literacy to spout big grammer on the basis of one post, let me be illiterate

omonnakoda:
In other words "mental" possibilities should be considered LAST. What is the logic for that. Why not looked at first or second or third or ninth.
We do not know whether this story is real or not and have no reason to take it too seriously,Therefore we assume the OP is telling the truth and our responses are based on that assumption.It is NOT an exam.
His story suggests that there is a personality problem and therefore that should be considered. I see no reason to relegate that to LAST position.

omonnakoda:

The truth is that there is enough reason to suspect a personality disorder and on that basis to consult a professsional.
a personality disorder is not a mental illness .
What is a prognosis by the way? I am not sure I made any of that?
There is no other way to clarify that than checking with a professional.The husband can also try online personality disorder screening questionnaires which are a useful tool.

biolabee: stop crapping dude...
your exact words

They are my words I don't deny them.I directed one post at least to you in which case the word "mental" was in quote (I was quoting YOU)and I did not say ILLNESS, stating my view and several others to the forum, that personality disorders are NOT mental illnesses. In fact I had several exchanges to that effect.How is your illiteracy my problem? You are an i,diot and need someone to play with.

omonnakoda: They are my words I don't deny them.I directed one post at least to you, stating my view and several others to the forum, that personality disorders are NOT mental illnesses. In fact I had several exchanges to that effect.How is your illiteracy my problem? You are an i,diot and need someone to play with.

you are a bigger phoool for spouting personality illness on the basis of one post
Your problem is that you come out with no context of what you know. just read and dump everywhere you go feigning knowlege when all you are full of is crap

When you are called out, suddenly you start insulting other people

crappist

biolabee:

you are a bigger phoool for spouting personality illness on the basis of one post
Your problem is that you come out with no context of what you know. just read and dump everywhere you go feigning knowlege when all you are full of is crap

When you are called out, suddenly you start insulting other people

crappist

No your mother is the phool. Once again there is no such thing as Personality Illness. It is NOT an illness.Go to school and take your mother

omonnakoda:
No your mother is the phool. Once again there is no such thing as Personality Illness. It is NOT an illness.Go to school and take your mother

una see.. now your nature is really coming out
what does calling someone's parent out here mean
i have better training than abuse your parents.. shows the lack of regard you have for them that you can point to them with your finger

pity

na you call personality disorder to show you have some knowlege
if it makes you better to compensate for your lack of home training, ok sorry
asinine crappist

PS are you baby123?

biolabee:

una see.. now your nature is really coming out
what does calling someone's parent out here mean
i have better training than abuse your parents.. shows the lack of regard you have for them that you can point to them with your finger

pity

na you call personality disorder to show you have some knowlege
if it makes you better to compensate for your lack of home training, ok sorry
asinine crappist

PS are you baby123?

just eff off .I ain't interested in you.

omonnakoda:
just eff off .I ain't interested in you.

just accept you crapped
Personality Disorders are not diagnosed on the basis of online posts
Seems mental illnesses are the fashionable jabs of note on NL

biolabee:

just accept you crapped
Personality Disorders are not diagnosed on the basis of online posts
Seems mental illnesses are the fashionable jabs of note on NL

go and play with your mother. I am not interested in what you think.Fuccck off

Sir omonnokada.... ehnm Personality disorder is a mental illness oh to my knowledge its a schizophrenic related disability, mood swings and all that. Such person require 24hrs care/ monitoring. No need to fight pls.

Biola e don do you .

God bless you all I'm off to church.

omonnakoda: go and play with your mother. I am not interested in what you think.Fuccck off

eh ya....so you suffering from oedipus complex, fantasies of phocking ur mum
now that is a personality disorder

what a pity...

jidegirl12: Sir omonnokada.... ehnm Personality disorder is a mental illness oh to my knowledge its a schizophrenic related disability, mood swings and all that. Such person require 24hrs care/ monitoring. No need to fight pls.

Biola e don do you .

God bless you all I'm off to church.

madam...i see you

biolabee:

just accept you crapped
Personality Disorders are not diagnosed on the basis of online posts
Seems mental illnesses are the fashionable jabs of note on NL

He/she did not diagnose a personality disorder.

ileobatojo: He/she did not diagnose a personality disorder.

hmmmm....
i doubt that

biolabee:

hmmmm....
i doubt that

There's nothing to doubt. No one diagnosed a personality disorder.

ileobatojo:

There's nothing to doubt. No one diagnosed a personality disorder.

why waste your time with a lunatic.People passing might not know who is well.

Okon.akpan:
She threatened divorce not long ago. I think she is fed up with our marriage cos she is not having her way as she wants. There is always quarrel whenever things are not done her way cos she want to be in control.

If that's what she want, let her go ahead instead of killing you to have her way.

I would love to see you (if you care), am in eket presently for a projecr, and i do come to most of your platforms. Am a contractor with exxonmobil.

Its a pity that 90% of staffs offshore, their wives are nothing to write home about.

Eyen eka mmi, kot mmi ke
084552425 or wed nwed nno mmi ke wellington.john@gmx.com yak idukite,
Abasi'ye nwam fi.

Am waiting.

ileobatojo:

There's nothing to doubt. No one diagnosed a personality disorder.

ok.....

omonnakoda:
Length of courtship is irrelevant. Living together in the same accommodation whilst unmarried is not only alien to African culture but also to the major religious orientation in Nigeria. How many Nigerian parents would allow their daughters to live with somebody on probation? Please say something sensible.
Your biography story seems to suggest you are telling the OP he is not as smart as you. "look at me I am clever I courted my wife a long time before we married and look at us.You(OP) on the other hand are not smart ,your courtship was too short and that is why you have problems." Absolute rubbish in my view. If you must give advice do not add your biography because it sends the wrong message. If you wish to talk about yourself create another thread. I am sure there are people who dated as long as you did with no problems only for their spouse to change afterwards.Likewise many people met their spouses and married them within 6 months and are happy!
We cannot make GENERALIZATIONS about life from ONE example. It is like saying you had an accident in a Toyota and survived THEREFORE Toyotas are SAFE CARS.Is that Logical?

If you actually courted your wife for a very long time as you claimed, can you deny that you guys never lived under the same roof sometimes, even if it's just for a week? Living together under same roof while being unmarried is against African culture, I agree, but does it not happen? There are situations and opportunity where people can live together under the same roof to understand their tolerances to each other. For example, while they were in the university which is very common amongst students. It gives them a better understanding of themselves to see the possibility of getting married in the future. This is just the same way sex before marriage is unethical in African culture but did you not have premarital sex before marriage? So who is being non sensible? Let's be mature here. It makes no sense antagonizing just to call undue attention and appear loud. Plus, I do not see anything wrong in making reference to my marriage. We are all here to offer advice to the OP and we do that in different ways that we think may help the OP realize that he needs to be the man of the house. Lastly, I do hope you actually know the meaning of biography as the content of my post was neither somebody's biography nor my autobiography. I only made a sentence on how long I courted my wife and that is not my autobiography.

Elai147:

If you actually courted your wife for a very long time as you claimed, can you deny that you guys never lived under the same roof sometimes, even if it's just for a week? Living together under same roof while being unmarried is against African culture, I agree, but does it not happen? There are situations and opportunity where people can live together under the same roof to understand their tolerances to each other. For example, while they were in the university which is very common amongst students. It gives them a better understanding of themselves to see the possibility of getting married in the future. This is just the same way sex before marriage is unethical in African culture but did you not have premarital sex before marriage? So who is being non sensible? Let's be mature here. It makes no sense antagonizing just to call undue attention and appear loud. Plus, I do not see anything wrong in making reference to my marriage. We are all here to offer advice to the OP and we do that in different ways that we think may help the OP realize that he needs to be the man of the house. Lastly, I do hope you actually know the meaning of biography as the content of my post was neither somebody's biography nor my autobiography. I only made a sentence on how long I courted my wife and that is not my autobiography.

NOT me I have not discussed my wife or courtship. Wrong Number!!
Maybe you do not understand what this " " stands for .

That people live together before marriage is a fact but we cannot draw any conclusion from that one way or another.You are the one talking about YOURSELF. I choose not to be biographical.You know it is possible to have a discussion without talking about yourself!!. The fact is your marriage is one out of millions so because something works for you does not mean it works for others. We are not interested in your biography. especially as you seem to think your experience MUST BE UNIVERSAL. That is totally illogical. Most people in our culture (Nigeria) do not live together before marriage. Very uncommon among muslims and even christians!! The fact that you are bold enough to ask a person you never met whether they had premarital sex and then say who is not being sensible is interesting. Ask yourself how sensible that is?

Let us skip the biographies we can do justice to the discussion without that!!

Your point is that the poster is having problems because they did not live together before marriage mine is; most African marriages are like that and those like yours are in the MINORITY!!

omonnakoda:

NOT me I have not discussed my wife or courtship. Wrong Number!!
That people live together before marriage is a fact but we cannot draw any conclusion from that one way or another.You are the one talking about YOURSELF. I choose not to be biographical.You know it is possible to have a discussion without talking about yourself!!. The fact is your marriage is one out of millions so because something works for you does not mean it works for others. We are not interested in your biography. especially as you seem to think your experience MUST BE UNIVERSAL. That is totally illogical. Most people in our culture (Nigeria) do not live together before marriage. Very uncommon among muslims and even christians!! The fact that you are bold enough to ask a person you never met whether they had premarital sex and then say who is not being sensible is interesting. Ask yourself how sensible that is?

Let us skip the biographies we can do justice to the discussion without that!!

Your point is that the poster is having problems because they did not live together before marriage mine is; most African marriages are like that and those like yours are in the MINORITY!!

LOLxxx i have just read few of your posts on this thread. If I did before now, I would not have answered you at first. Don't get me wrong, I mean no disrespect. But I shall rest my case at this juncture.

Elai147:

LOLxxx i have just read few of your posts on this thread. If I did before now, I would not have answered you at first. Don't get me wrong, I mean no disrespect. But I shall rest my case at this juncture.

You are 5tupid.Don't get me wrong! I mean disrespect !

omonnakoda: You are 5tupid.Don't get me wrong! I mean disrespect !

How old are you?

omonnakoda: You are 5tupid.Don't get me wrong! I mean disrespect !

Now I know you have issues...
Always quick to insult

Caveat!!

johnwell:

If that's what she want, let her go ahead instead of killing you to have her way.

I would love to see you (if you care), am in eket presently for a projecr, and i do come to most of your platforms. Am a contractor with exxonmobil.

Its a pity that 90% of staffs offshore, their wives are nothing to write home about.

Eyen eka mmi, kot mmi ke
084552425 or wed nwed nno mmi ke wellington.john@gmx.com yak idukite,
Abasi'ye nwam fi.

Am waiting.

for those saying we have listened to one side of the story before giving advice, this post is from someone who is in the same location and industry, not a faceless person. I lived in eket for a year and I know how it goes down.
Ibibio and efik communities are down to earth and accommodating, but presently many of their young women have lost their moral bearings and that's an issue, there is also a spiritual perspective to this, but nairalanders may not appreciate it. but these are the issues men there are dealing with, you may consider this a stereotype but it is the reality on ground.

tithe: To be frank she's possessed by evil spirit, take her for deliverance. I recommend synagogue.

You beat me to it, was going to suggest that. Take your wife for deliverance but not synagogue sha, don't believe in that guy

biolabee:

una see.. now your nature is really coming out
what does calling someone's parent out here mean
i have better training than abuse your parents.. shows the lack of regard you have for them that you can point to them with your finger

pity

na you call personality disorder to show you have some knowlege
if it makes you better to compensate for your lack of home training, ok sorry
asinine crappist

PS are you baby123?

Why are you calling my name when arguing with someone else as usual? Do I give you nightmares or what?

nembenama: I have seen most of ur egoistic advice including that of my husband. What u guys don't advert ur minds to,is the wife's side of the story and remember no two marriages re the same. Some of you just want this guy to end his union because of problems they can sit down n settle. If he leaves her,is the next woman perfect? He too should be man enough to take some responsibility of the present situation not throwing everything on his wife. What did he do to get her to that state of mind? Rather,than acting the gud guy here,tell us what u did too@op. Nice sunday all

Which one is your husband abeg! I can't laugh enough at this comment

baby_123:

Why are you calling my name when arguing with someone else as usual? Do I give you nightmares or what?

it is well

johnwell:

If that's what she want, let her go ahead instead of killing you to have her way.

I would love to see you (if you care), am in eket presently for a projecr, and i do come to most of your platforms. Am a contractor with exxonmobil.

Its a pity that 90% of staffs offshore, their wives are nothing to write home about.

Eyen eka mmi, kot mmi ke
084552425 or wed nwed nno mmi ke wellington.john@gmx.com yak idukite,
Abasi'ye nwam fi.

Am waiting.

Just lv ur post!d best practical thing I hv ever read here!though I don't no ur language,but u speak like a concerned bro.thanks and keep it up!God bless