I have been dating a guy over 3 years, thou he is far from home he stays in Lagos then while i stay in Benue, i saw him once with the girl right in Benue State i suspected their move and asked him who the girl was but he first lied to me that the girl was his cousine barely one yr later he came down to B/S (then he has moved to P/H) and invited me over that we needed to talk; ( to put the story short) it was so suprising to hear that she has put to bed (the so called cousine is a Warri girl). What i did at first was to congratulate him, then i said no problem u can go ahead with ur r\shp while i seek for my own, but he refuse and was on his knees sheding real tears to plead for forgiveness and promised nevr to hurt my feelings again (saying the girl's intention was to hook him for marriage and promised to add up her own money if it demands that;because the mum was in full support) though after that i am not myself and somehow run from him but we communicate and nothing more than that, but the supprising thing is this when ever he calls i first asked of his health, his baby boy & the mother of his child, he responds well but for the third he always say i don't want you to talk about her pls. I never want to hurt u baby i am sorry it was a mistake that won't repeat itself agian i promise. Some how dedicated to me as in calling twice every day, money to my account, precious gift at birthday and so on.

So my fellow landers what do you advice i do for the btter of my life and future. I asked this because his siblings like me very much and call me their wifee especially his first two eldest sisters and their last born hmmm he won't let me be, he addresses me as one of the family members (changing my surname to theirs when calling me on phone/text msg)

WHAT DO I DO [color=#990000][/color]
WORRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its all part of the job dats the wifee part i do dat sometimes to my brothers girlfriend u are on the part to being a stepmom and very soon ur would be stepson will join us here with one topic I HATE MY STEPMOM can u handle dat?am checkin d wahalla from the whole tin and u know how guys are de dnt like stress so wen d problem comes he will be travellin and leavin u alone to face the wahalla and with a waffi gal it would be a sure way to burn calories SHOO!is it worth it if he loved u from d onset he shudnt have lied to u or maybe him and d gal had a brawl as per her eyes too tear and he is seeing u as d mugu men can be up to no good if u ask me leave him and say no! but do u know wat is important listen to ur heart.

well he decieved u all this while claiming she is his cousin, dat tells u he is not truthful enuf.
moreso from wat u said i understand he only suddenly realised the oother girl was trying to decieve him into marriage,
that in itself made u second choice.
best bet is for you to move on and find a man that wud tink of u and only u alone.
his gifts and calls shud not be a measuring point if he wants you back.

izeek:

well he decieved u all this while claiming she is his cousin, that tells u he is not truthful enough.
moreso from what u said i understand he only suddenly realised the oother girl was trying to decieve him into marriage,
that in itself made u second choice.
best bet is for you to move on and find a man that would think of u and only u alone.
his gifts and calls should not be a measuring point if he wants you back.

[center]WORD!!![/center]

The guy is not being sincere yet, that's enough reason for you to run.

Not only did he lie about the girl's identity, he covered up their atrocities for over a year. To make matters worse, instead of him to own up to his mistakes like a man, he blames the girl. Sorry to say, but he's very immature too.

Who is he trying to fool? The girl wanted to tie him down for marriage?? Did she tie him to the bed to have sex with him? Did she force him to do it without protection? If so, why on earth would he be having sex with his "cousin"? Who forced him to lie to you about her identity in the first place? Why did he wait for a year and . . to tell you about it all??

I have one question for you though . . Could you possibly live with this guy as your husband, throwing all doubts to the pigs; trusting him with all your heart; not wondering if where he says he is, is actually where he is?

Until you hear the girl's side of the story, you don't know the "heaven on earth" he promised her before he got her pregnant. But after all that, why won't he claim his own fair share of the act, why act so adamant. She wanted to tie him down for marriage, yea right!

Girlfriend, there's no gurantee to any guy you meet tomorrow, but on the other hand . . no one sees blindness, yet chooses to be blind. Think about it!

cute-ass:

The guy is not being sincere yet, that's enough reason for you to run.

Not only did he lie about the girl's identity, he covered up their atrocities for over a year. To make matters worse, instead of him to own up to his mistakes like a man, he blames the girl. Sorry to say, but he's very immature too.

Who is he trying to fool? The girl wanted to tie him down for marriage?? Did she tie him to the bed to have sex with him? Did she force him to do it without protection? If so, why on earth would he be having sex with his "cousin"? Who forced him to lie to you about her identity in the first place? Why did he wait for a year and . . to tell you about it all??

I have one question for you though . . Could you possibly live with this guy as your husband, throwing all doubts to the pigs; trusting him with all your heart; not wondering if where he says he is, is actually where he is?

Until you hear the girl's side of the story, you don't know the "heaven on earth" he promised her before he got her pregnant. But after all that, why won't he claim his own fair share of the act, why act so adamant. She wanted to tie him down for marriage, yea right!

Girlfriend, there's no gurantee to any guy you meet tomorrow, but on the other hand . . no one sees blindness, yet chooses to be blind. Think about it!

I'm with cute ass on this one.

I have been dating a guy over 3 years, thou he is far from home he stays in Lagos then while i stay in Benue, i saw him once with the girl right in Benue State i suspected their move and asked him who the girl was but he first lied to me that the girl was his cousine barely one yr later he came down to B/S (then he has moved to P/H) and invited me over that we needed to talk; ( to put the story short) it was so suprising to hear that she has put to bed (the so called cousine is a Warri girl). What i did at first was to congratulate him, then i said no problem u can go ahead with your r\shp while i seek for my own, but he refuse and was on his knees sheding real tears to plead for forgiveness and promised nevr to hurt my feelings again (saying the girl's intention was to hook him for marriage and promised to add up her own money if it demands that;because the mum was in full support) though after that i am not myself and somehow run from him but we communicate and nothing more than that, but the supprising thing is this when ever he calls i first asked of his health, his baby boy & the mother of his child, he responds well but for the third he always say i don't want you to talk about her please. I never want to hurt u baby i am sorry it was a mistake that won't repeat itself agian i promise. Some how dedicated to me as in calling twice every day, money to my account, precious gift at birthday and so on.

So my fellow landers what do you advice i do for the btter of my life and future. I asked this because his siblings like me very much and call me their wifee especially his first two eldest sisters and their last born hmmm he won't let me be, he addresses me as one of the family members (changing my surname to theirs when calling me on phone/text msg)

WHAT DO I DO
WORRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my dear if u want my advise i will simply tell u to back off,even if d family calls u their wife,u are not marrying the family,u r marrying the guy, and mind u a woman already has a child for him,not only a child but a BOY, that BOY is going to be d first son come reign come sun,so even if u born ur ownn,na wetin d first one get na hm e go give ur own

Until you hear the girl's side of the story, you don't know the "heaven on earth" he promised her before he got her pregnant. But after all that, why won't he claim his own fair share of the act, why act so adamant. She wanted to tie him down for marriage, yea right!

Very well said.

but on the other hand . . no one sees blindness, yet chooses to be blind. Think about it!

No fool will even do that.

@ poster,

there is nothing here to be confused about.

just let him go. i beg

If u love him and u are truly happy with him, forgive him and get ready to accomodate this other woman and his child in ur life, as they will always be a part of ur life.
if u dont feel much for him, and u know u cannot tolerate having extra baggage in your life, my dear remove ur slippers, dust them and run far away and dont look back. This setting can be emotionally draining.

If u love him and u are truly happy with him, forgive him and get ready to accomodate this other woman and his child in your life, as they will always be a part of your life.
if u don't feel much for him, and u know u cannot tolerate having extra baggage in your life, my dear remove your slippers, dust them and run far away and don't look back. This setting can be emotionally draining.

nice one

Man-eater:

If u love him and u are truly happy with him, forgive him and get ready to accomodate this other woman and his child in your life, as they will always be a part of your life.
if u don't feel much for him, and u know u cannot tolerate having extra baggage in your life, my dear remove your slippers, dust them and run far away and don't look back. This setting can be emotionally draining.

Made the most sense so far!!!
Well said!

Make up your own damn mind what you want for yourself.
You do not need Nairalanders to make up your mind for you.

If you have to ask, then you're not yet ready to marry him.

well for guys,mess up is our second nature if u can find it in your heart to forgive him,why not? secondly ask yourself DO YOU LOVE HIM?

I'm not in use of my legs now! so if you wan borrow am, they're both yours! and please no even let them touch ground when you dey run.

I'm not in use of my legs now! so if you wan borrow am, they're both yours! and please no even let them touch ground when you dey run.

thank u,you've said it all