rokiatu: FrontPage please.

African people think the pathway to happiness is marriage.

For many the pathway to unhappiness is marriage!!!

tpia@:
Op

Your third line is in error.

Thats bad advice, if i'm reading you correctly.

The rest of your write up, could still be considered ok depending on the context ( or maybe not, especially with all that lover stuff)

But that third line e get as e be.

sexkillz: Nothing guarantees happiness. Being un-married doesn't guarantee happiness either. It's even worse to remain unmarried cos as human beings, we have an innate desire for companionship. And when I say companionship, I don't mean randy sex affairs, having "a cool calm lover to satisfy emotional cravings". Companionship is way above that league.

Marriage was instituted by an all knowing creator. No one knows the value of marriage more than him. Asking people to remain unmarried because of blah blah blah unhappiness is pure crap. No one is perfect, no marriage is perfect, but there are rules and guidelines you must follow and stick to, to have a happy married life. Disagreements will surely come, but the ability of a married couple to resolve their differences before it graduates to "world war III" is all it takes. Marriage is a union of 2 people ready to forgive freely.

It is the mental irresponsible attitude of the majority that makes everyone choose the easy way out. No one wants to work for a happy relationship. They want it to happen magically, like in the movies, or they decide to wait for fate. That this popular mental disposition is what is guiding the majority doesn't make it right.

Happiness doesn't occur randomly in nature. You must work for your happiness. If you fail to attain it, don't talk down on others who have found theirs through marriage.

dederocs:
my guy so many things that God instituted today we are not keeping up with.
God says "love your Neighbour as yourselves"
do you do that?
God says "thou shalt not commit fornication"
don't you do that?
God says we should not lie-today everyone is a liar and hypocrisy is now a norm.please spare me that line about what God commands-we all know that.
A cool calm lover aint a randy sex mate,when i say lover i don't mean a senseless he goat,neither do i mean all he will do is to fu-ck the lady.
please try to look from both perspectives.

sexkillz: Nothing guarantees happiness. Being un-married doesn't guarantee happiness either. It's even worse to remain unmarried cos as human beings, we have an innate desire for companionship. And when I say companionship, I don't mean randy sex affairs, having "a cool calm lover to satisfy emotional cravings". Companionship is way above that league.

Marriage was instituted by an all knowing creator. No one knows the value of marriage more than him. Asking people to remain unmarried because of blah blah blah unhappiness is pure crap. No one is perfect, no marriage is perfect, but there are rules and guidelines you must follow and stick to, to have a happy married life. Disagreements will surely come, but the ability of a married couple to resolve their differences before it graduates to "world war III" is all it takes. Marriage is a union of 2 people ready to forgive freely.

It is the mental irresponsible attitude of the majority that makes everyone choose the easy way out. No one wants to work for a happy relationship. They want it to happen magically, like in the movies, or they decide to wait for fate. That this popular mental disposition is what is guiding the majority doesn't make it right.

Happiness doesn't occur randomly in nature. You must work for your happiness. If you fail to attain it, don't talk down on others who have found theirs through marriage.

sexkillz: These comparisons don't count. We are talking about marriage and happiness, how about you stick to that?

If you are not keeping up with God's commands, don't think everyone else doesn't. Learn to speak for yourself.

dederocs:
Take a chill pill bro...you are looking at an ideal situation when reality that stares in our faces shows more unhappy married couples than married ones.
60% of Nigerians are hypocrites-even most pastors and elites are.

sexkillz: So, should you make yourself one, because they are?

dederocs:
This is not about me or you-it is about
"what is"...so many marriages today are failing due to infidelity,lack of understanding/cohesion,too much pride etc

tpia@:
^ what, in your opinion, are the right reasons for getting married?

most of you continue to churn out "wrong reasons" ( which, to you, is any reason put forward by relatives, society or well meaning married friends).

kindly give us your right reasons for marriage, thanks.

as long as someone, anyone, seeks completion in marriage, it's flawed from the beginning.

There should be only one reason a person gets married, and that is because of love

tpia@:


how so?


love by itself alone does not sustain a marriage.

Love is the conquering criteria for marriage. No matter how much I respect someone, I can never marry them. When you, genuinely, love someone, you're able to work through their flaws.

tpia@:
ok, now I'm following your "reasons", i see where you're coming from, in a way, even if i dont fully agree with your post as explained. But that's ok, its not everything that needs to be argued over, sometimes things arent black and white.

say you have a scenario where you love someone but cannot respect them, how do you think that will work out?

GraceBestowed:

I personally accord due respect to everyone. There have been instances where I've lost the trust I've had in people, but not treated them with disdain.

I'm really the wrong person to ask that, because I've learned to treat people with respect, even if they don't deserve it.

val_dee: Op, you got a point, but it will take a lot to get this attitudinal change her.

With our culture, which, encourages marriage against all odds, embracing this idea is a long haul.

But I feel as the reality dawns, the more this truth will hit home that Marriage does not guarantee happiness.


But I love this institution called marriage, I will give anything to be in it and will make any necessary sacrifice to make it work.

Marriage is not a walk in the park, if you are not ready to gice your all to make it work, if you wanna do it to please traditions, they you might as well stay away.

GraceBestowed: This is one of the most reasonable post I've read this week!

Marriage is not a do or die issue, I will continue to say that, and if you wait for the right time, it will happen. I fully endorse the institution of marriage, as God intended, but it becomes an issue when people jump into it for the wrong reasons!

Please, don't get married, because;

- Your parents, or family, are putting you under pressure
- You feel 'stigmatised'
- Your 'mates' are all married
- You feel like you're getting too old

Entering a happy marriage at 30 is better than entering an unhappy union at 25.

God will give us wisdom!

dederocs:
Always better to please yourself than please traditions.
Traditions don't care what you are going thru.
Wake up,life is all about U first.