I met this girl online,facebook precisely,we started getting along well with each other and we decided to see,and i discovered i really like this girl,she told me she has given birth before and this has led to her been single up till now,i really liked this girl and i don't want to break her heart just like her two ex boyfrnds did because she has given birth before.The issue now is i don't know if i should tell my mum she's given birth,i'v introduced the lady to my mum but i didn't tell her she has given birth to a baby before,my mum is the only parent i'm having and i don't want her to discourage me from marrying this lady,so i don't know if i should tell her(my mum) or not.

Teebest82: I met this girl online,facebook precisely,we started getting along well with each other and we decided to see,and i discovered i really like this girl,she told me she has given birth before and this has led to her been single up till now,i really liked this girl and i don't want to break her heart just like her two ex boyfrnds did because she has given birth before.The issue now is i don't know if i should tell my mum she's given birth,i'v introduced the lady to my mum but i didn't tell her she has given birth to a baby before,my mum is the only parent i'm having and i don't want her to discourage me from marrying this lady,so i don't know if i should tell her(my mum) or not.

GUY GO YARN UR MOTHER D MATA,LUV IS WHAT COUNTS.
BUT AS FOR ME I NOR GO LIE,AM GONNA FEEL AWKWARD AROUND HER KID.

Has the child kept her from being the right woman for u?

I wouldn't. Been there done that. I av dated one b4 bt it was hard to leave but looking back at it, I made the right decisionn then cos I couldn't handle it. Bt rily the decision is left to u but if you're a YOUNG single guy, you can save yourself a lot of stress by getting a YOUNG single girl too. Are you really willing to take care and love anoda man's baby like your own? If the baby daddy comes into the picture in the future can you handle it? Can you start your marriage taking care of a baby and caring for responsibilities? Typical couples usually have a honeymoon period where it's just them alone. You wouldn't have that. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm jst trying to let you knw what you're up against. Note that I didn't mention anything about love because love is a feeling that people fall in and fall out of.

Tanx to you all for the comments,@12inches the child does not even know she's her mother because she the child lives with her grandmother(my girlfriend's mother),because she's still a student and the child's father sends money for the upkeep of his child

I won't have any problem with dating her or even marrying her, provided i truly love her, she should not be crucify for her past mistakes, neither does the child deserve a bad father. Come to think of it, if all of us are to be judge by our mistakes, who will be standing? If most of the ladies or guys that made love have one child or another, does that mean we are not going to get married again? Well, just stated my honest opinion.

No biggie dude!

The only problem will be her current relationship with the daddy!

yes if she seems faithful

Have dated one before though her child wasn't with her then,will still date one tomorrow if we gel but for marriage ,i don't know but please don't hide the fact from your mother.

it all depends on both side ooo.

my guy, if u knw u cant go along with the babe pls DO.
na person go marry her nau.
we all makes mistakes, even u gan talk sey person never abort for u b4.

just think it all over nd make d rite choice.

Op forget about her , you are young,you have a lot ahead of you go and look for a single lady there r lots of them out there , harsh it might seem but u will be doing yourself a big favour and stop wasting your time around another mans baby mama..

butta: Op forget about her , you are young,you have a lot ahead of you go and look for a single lady there r lots of them out there , harsh it might seem but u will be doing yourself a big favour and stop wasting your time around another mans baby mama..

Harsh indeed,but she loves me na and she comes from a good home.......

wow..that shows d lady can produce babies

OP u can marry her if truly u love her, some so called single ladies out there are not single but mothers of 1 or 2 children and dey still deceive guys dat dey do not have children, some have done series of abortions and u wnt know, she is so sincere for telling you d truth,so it's neva a big deal.

And for ur mom, i dont think u shud tell her now, though it depends on d kind of person she is,you know ur mom better so u shud know how to handle dat.

Teebest82: Harsh indeed,but she loves me na and she comes from a good home.......

I think u r a f00l in love why won't she love u when she is already a second hand ni....gggggahh u r trippin and a sucker for love..

Kristty: OP u can marry her if truly u love her, some so called single ladies out there are not single but mothers of 1 or 2 children and dey still deceive guys dat dey do not have children, some have done series of abortions and u wnt know, she is so sincere for telling you d truth,so it's neva a big deal.

And for ur mom, i dont think u shud tell her now, though it depends on d kind of person she is,you know ur mom better so u shud know how to handle dat.

women enemies of themselves hope u r not a baby mama too

butta: women enemies of themselves hope u r not a baby mama too

am not, but dat's d truth

Hmmm... I once saw no good reason to date a single mom not to talk of marrying her. But after taking my time to really dig deep into why/how some issues like this crop up, I can't but stand neutral on this issue.
These cases might help:
Imagine a 16year old girl who was raped... Or a 17year old girl who was foolish to get pregnant for a guy because he said he loved her(?)... Or an 18year old girl whose lecturer took advantage of her... Or a 19year old girl who got pregnant the first time she had sex... Or a 20year old lady who never knew that contraception wasn't as safe as thought... Or a 21year old lady who was married and after a year or two was left divorced... Or a 22year old woman whose husband died leaving her behind with a child... Or a 23year old woman who was ganged raped on her way from work... Or a 24year old woman who must get pregnant before marriage to prove her fertility only to be abandoned... Or a 25year old woman who had a casual fling with a married man only to find out that he was already married and cannot afford to take care of a "second wife"... Or a 26year old woman who got thrown out of her matrimonial home with her child because she was accused of withcraft... Or a 27year old woman who didn't find anything wrong in having a child outside wedlock only to realise along the line that her impatience had made her a liability to herself and that her child needs a father figure... Or a 28year old woman who got pregnant for her overseas lover and was never remembered because he "can't remember her face not to talk of sleeping with her"... The list is endless.
Single mothers are not cursed, but their status could have been as a result of peer pressure, stupid mistakes or just sheer ignorance.
If I find any single mom who fits my description of an ideal mate and has proven to me overtime that she deserves my love, I will not hesitate to show her love. Afterall, everyone deserves a second chance.

[quote author=Shy Steady]Hmmm... I once saw no good reason to date a single mom not to talk of marrying her. But after taking my time to really dig deep into why/how some issues like this crop up, I can't but stand neutral on this issue.
These cases might help:
Imagine a 16year old girl who was raped... Or a 17year old girl who was foolish to get pregnant for a guy because he said he loved her(?)... Or an 18year old girl whose lecturer took advantage of her... Or a 19year old girl who got pregnant the first time she had sex... Or a 20year old lady who never knew that contraception wasn't as safe as thought... Or a 21year old lady who was married and after a year or two was left divorced... Or a 22year old woman whose husband died leaving her behind with a child... Or a 23year old woman who was ganged raped on her way from work... Or a 24year old woman who must get pregnant before marriage to prove her fertility only to be abando
CAN SEE U REALLY TOOK UR TYM WELDON

Your mother doesn't necessarily need to know this,families do have secrets,let this be yours.Telling her ll definitely impair her judgement of this lady,you really don't owe her every detail of your life as an adult.

^^ What kinda nonsense is that? his mother deserves to know. @ The op your mother is the only female who has your best interests at heart... don't listen to these decievers


@ All the rest if you men.. yall are evolutionary failures. I can not even imagine dating, let alone marrying a woman with kids... not even in a dream.

I thought this was something only african american men did, i am sickend to hear that African men are so shameless aswell. When 70% of the children born, are born out of wedlock you will know what a mistake you made by accepting this kinda nonesense

As i always say, the worst female behaviors are enabled by men with no standards.

Calling another's opinion nonsense shows your level of immaturity,coudnt you have just posted yoursLet your mum also know when you bleep or shit,f**king man child.I suppose you deem yourself an evolutionary success,success ko,success ni.

A man who raises another mans seed was once called a cuckold, after a species of male bird that does the same. This was
considered so shamefull that in old English the word "cockold" was synonomous with fool.

The men of 2013 have lost their dignity...and the women will too, just wait

IZUKWU: Have dated one before though her child wasn't with her then,will still date one tomorrow if we gel but for marriage ,i don't know but please don't hide the fact from your mother.

Any single guy that has ever dated a single mother wouldnt want to do so again. Trust me I have been there. Too many issues

butta: I think u r a f00l in love why won't she love u when she is already a second hand ni....gggggahh u r trippin and a sucker for love..

Hate to say it but this is also true. Even the single mothers know this. It is not easy to get a single guy when you're a single mother.

*smiles and walks out of thread* Op, experience is really the best teacher. I wouldnt even think of doing what you're doing if the woman was the finest, best behaved, best everything in the world. I've been in your shoes. Been in love. Thank God I shook myself to reality quickly.It's not worth it. What happened to all the single girls around you. Save yourself some stress.

d girl is livin wth d guilt evryday. So ur unqualified acceptance of Her mayb a healing to her. She made a mistake, dnot beat her over d head wt it. We humans ar selfish we thnk only of our own selves. A girl had aids and was hospitalzed , all d parents were weapg about was d shame d girl brought on them. D bf came and wept 2, dat she had given him aids ... Its selfish world. If u lov her dis will b an exercise in lovg som1 (her daughter) wit no thg in it 4 u.

It's hard, yes but do you really love her? If yes, marry her. The fact that she kept and birthed a pregnancy doesn't make her sub-human. Every girl would be a mother today if they had not aborted pregnancies. Besides, what makes you think your so called free and single girl has a good womb? Afterall some men marry free and single ladies and they start praying for the fruit of the womb years into the marriage only for tests to discover that the ladies had damaged wombs, due to series of abortions.
Personally, I've seen a girl that had 2 abortions in 4 months. So, who's the bad one here? Just try to know the truth behind the birth of the child and her present relationship status with the father. If you hear the stories of some of these so called single mothers, you'll even pity them.
Anyways the decision is yours. If you don't want to marry her, tell her now and don't waste her time cos' someone who's man enough would come for her when u're gone.
To all you single mamas out there, don't beat or kill yourselves. The man to love and accept you for you would definitely come. Cheers

It is more complex than a lit of you make it out to be.
You are not just dating or marrying her and her little gift of joy, you are ALSO marrying the nigga that got all up in there.
Do you seriously think that nigga will just dissappear from the picture? He can't, even if he wanted to.

The child will always want to connect with his her real father when he she grows up. Its deep, long stretching stuff.
Certainly not for the unprepared....or the idealist.

Personally i would say thats a move only for older men who can't afford the years to be starting from that fresh point anymore.

Babe_101: It's hard, yes but do you really love her? If yes, marry her. The fact that she kept and birthed a pregnancy doesn't make her sub-human. Every girl would be a mother today if they had not aborted pregnancies. Besides, what makes you think your so called free and single girl has a good womb? Afterall some men marry free and single ladies and they start praying for the fruit of the womb years into the marriage only for tests to discover that the ladies had damaged wombs, due to series of abortions.
Personally, I've seen a girl that had 2 abortions in 4 months. So, who's the bad one here? Just try to know the truth behind the birth of the child and her present relationship status with the father. If you hear the stories of some of these so called single mothers, you'll even pity them.
Anyways the decision is yours. If you don't want to marry her, tell her now and don't waste her time cos' someone who's man enough would come for her when u're gone.
To all you single mamas out there, don't beat or kill yourselves. The man to love and accept you for you would definitely come. Cheers

Did yall read the bolded?

You naija niggas are dealing with some serious damaged goods here.... every girl has had a series of abortions?

Your man will come alright.. but he will be far from real. Don't confuse a desperate man with a real man... Masculinity is not defined by a willingness to tolerate another guys garbage.

KnegroDamus: Did yall read the bolded?

You naija niggas are dealing with some serious damaged goods here.... every girl has had a series of abortions?

Your man will come alright.. but he will be far from real. Don't confuse a desperate man with a real man... Masculinity is not defined by a willingness to tolerate another guys garbage.

What she's saying is that she has aborted like crazy.