kokoye: I noticed our people dont take the greeting "how are you" very nicely. When you greet them and say "how are you", most would feel you are being disrespectful. I have experienced this several times - someone actually told me he wasnt a kid when I greeted him that way...and a few did not even respond.

When I say 'how are you' to someone, I'm just checking on them..and I expect the same kind of greeting in return.

Am I alone in this ...and why do you think 'our' people feel disrespected with such a greeting?

Why will you ask me 'how are you'? If i told you any problems will you be able, available and desirous of resolving half of them? When i greet you, just greet me back and move on. But on a serious note, its just a manner of greting but i do not take kindly to it especially when i notice that the person asking that question is probably younger or less priviledged

hardbody:
...but i do not take kindly to it especially when i notice that the person asking that question is probably younger or less priviledged

Less privileged??

Wow... Ogas at the top.

It is a cultural thing. Nigeria like every country has its own peculiar culture.What is normal to a us may seem truly bizarre to a foreigner. Personally i would not take offense if anyone asked me ''how are you?'' I simply say ''fine thank you and you?''.
Some people here are saying if i tell you all my problems what would you do? But 9 out of 10 times if it is not someone you have a relationship with, they wont tell you what is going on in their life.
I think your environment shapes your reasoning. I've been in different situations where i work and interact with young people and even others as old as my parents. No one cares, they are hardly looking at you and going ''oh i senior you sef na big body you just carry''. No one cares about such petty things they just get on with the job.

As a matter of fact if someone should ask me ''how was your night?'' m gonna be thinking uhmnnnnnnnn do you really want to know about that. Now that's weird to me but of course i understand you don't mean to be cheeky!

kokoye: ^^^

Maybe you need to calm down.

I dont go around asking people how they are (even though there's nothing wrong with it).

Is there anything wrong with "Hi, how are you"...or "good morning, how are you?"
It has nothing to do with culture..it is just the 'Oga at the top' mentality like someone said earlier.

I dont know what tribe you are from what in yoruba, 'how are you' is the exact same thing as 'bawoni o' - i bet you noone takes offence at 'bawoni'.

Think about it.

It depends on who you are greeting. If the person is older than you, by African Standards you can't ask "How are you"? Even in Yoruba Culture can you ask your unlce "Uncle Ayo ba wo ni"? It is "arifin" of a high order.
Some of the people who frown at it when you ask them "How are you" see themselves as older or superior to you. That is why they do not respond.
You could also be asking "how are you" because inwardly you may see them as equals or lower in age/class than you.

Personally I won't reply if the person is younger.As a matter of fact I have corrected many younger persons on this.

kokoye:

You are right.

...that's why i stopped speaking to you

On a serious note though, I honestly dont say how are you to anybody except they say it to me first. Then i respond with the same question. No harm done.

Our people are just tooooo sensitive...moi included!

how's the family?

Chima still trying to have some more babies. We are good thougb.

How are ya fam?

chlowi: The question How are you? Is not bad if it is asked in a polite manner and with sincere and genuine care or concern , most people just ask how are you without even taking a second to get the reply , why ask how are you when you don't wanna knw if the person is fine or not , ? That is when I consider it rude

I think it all stems from mother tongue and culture. Among our Owerri people, no matter how bona fide your intentions may be, you usually wouldnt ask your senior "I mena kp'ole"? Which is our dialectical equivalent of "how are you". It is customary for that question to come from the elder person. In the central Igbo also, i'm not sure i've ever asked someone older than me "Kedu" or "Olia", unless its someone i'm excessively familiar and playful with. It is only natural therefore for these cultural norms and observances to be carried into the English Language. Personally, I do not ask my seniors how they are without ending it with "sir" or "Ma" in order to fully demonstrate that I mean no slight. Conversely, if my junior would ask me that and sounds too confident and haughty I just wont bother responding.

Pennywise:
I may spit in ur face if i am in a good mood. On a bad day I will probably hang you (or u would wish i did) and that goes for any bone-headed youngster including those who will approach me with their slimy hand for a hand shake.

Obviously most folks here are ignorant of true social etiquette. You will not find it written anywhere. It is common sense and those who understand it find favours and those who fail to acknowledge may pay a painful price.

In truth nothing makes it uniquely Nigerian. I cant imagine a UK minister asking the Queen 'how are you' or putting out his hand for a hand shake if he wasnt approached first.

How are you should be left for children and pre adolescent teenagers even though i can hardly bring myself to address them as such

true social etiquette is not lying on your belly like a lizard dude because some punk happened to stick his ugly head from his mum's foof before you. you talk about social etiquette but if someone offers you a handshake and you don't respond, what does that make you? or you think the baale in business meetings smh. please leave your small hamlet wherever it is and go and see the world.

and if you like spit in my face. by the time i scatter your head and leave you drooling and spitting all over the place like an infantile retard, you'll be wondering if 'culture' was really worth it.

Man_51ut:

true social etiquette is not lying on your belly like a lizard dude because some punk happened to stick his ugly head from his mum's foof before you. you talk about social etiquette but if someone offers you a handshake and you don't respond, what does that make you? or you think the baale in business meetings smh. please leave your small hamlet wherever it is and go and see the world.

and if you like spit in my face. by the time i scatter your head and leave you drooling and spitting all over the place like an infantile retard, you'll be wondering if 'culture' was really worth it.

This is at the core of what we are talking abt. Improperly trained and poorly educated Nigerian youth who imbibe the haughtiness, arrogance and uncouth language of American inner cities in a desperate bid to 'belong'.

If they are ever lucky to get there they remain outcast bc even in these subcultures civility and deference to contemporaries and seniors are beginning to permeate.

Here, they are already outcast and cant be helped. I have no obligation to be civil to an outcaste. I deal with them as I please. So when I say I will spit in your face, I mean I WILL SPIT IN YOUR FACE. Ai wa be rha wa bi iyuee.

[color=#550000][/color] true this.... most times I greet people by saying 'how are you',.. and i'm not stopping anytime soon