^^^how else do you want to call this, if not insanity?! it says a lot about a man, if he needs his wife to act as most maids do. but i cannot blame this man, i can only blame the equally insane women who would do these acts in the name of MARRIAGE!
but hey, to each their own.

yellowpawpaw:
Sis,I hv to disagree wt u.he didn't just initiate it from d blues.his parents were doin it.its obvious he grow up with it and they r his role model.this kind of issue need to be handled with caution.
Come to think of it,she can confide in his close friend and they may come up with a plan.she will constantly do it b4 them,I tell u he will beg her to stop, cos they will so laugh at him that it will become embarassin to him. U know guys,they can turture u if they want and no man will want this kind abeg.even in beer parlour if they r type dat normally hang out!

I seriously question the character of the man who ll force his wife to kneel to serve him food whether his mum did it or not .i wanted OP to answer if she knew this prior to marriage and decided to have a problem with it now. imagine threatening divorce because your wife won't kneel to serve you food. Do you really think this man will suddenly stop threatening divorce after this incident?I might not understand the significance of this kneeling thing in some cultures but it's really wacked in a husband/ wife relationship joor.

Insanity!!! Coming from a man, thank you!!!!

Most ladies by their own doing have made themselves subservient in a very perverted way and then wonder why my husband does not respect me. Human beings (ALL, even cute adorable babies) will try their luck, it is up to YOU to set your boundaries

Now I am not saying don't kneel down, do so if that is what you want/do but when a man start giving conditions and threatening fire and brimstone on top of kneeling down, bIko what will he do when faced with real marriage challenges.

Marriage is made up complex variables. Only the wise can solve it. In your case, you have the equation, you also know the limit of the variables. Just input the figure "KNEE DOWN" and you will arrive at the solution. Or talk with your husband to redefine the limit of the variables. In simple term, either you do what your husband says or talk it over. In life there is no problem without solution. Pls take life easy.

Aro Computer Ce: Marriage is made up complex variables. Only the wise can solve it. In your case, you have the equation, you also know the limit of the variables. Just input the figure "KNEE DOWN" and you will arrive at the solution. Or talk with your husband to redefine the limit of the variables. In simple term, either you do what your husband says or talk it over. In life there is no problem without solution. Pls take life easy.

In other words
Knee Down + f(x,y,z) = PEACE


lol

MRbrownJAY: ^^^how else do you want to call this, if not insanity?! it says a lot about a man, if he needs his wife to act as most maids do. but i cannot blame this man, i can only blame the equally insane women who would do these acts in the name of MARRIAGE!
but hey, to each their own.

Well, you know there is this view that a woman must make all sacrifices and take all bull to make 'her' marriage work like she wedded herself on the altar.

When u are in love with someone you don't force your partner to do something the person isn't comfortable with, just to boost your ego. What will I hear of next kneeling down to beg for sex

Na wao things women face in marriage. Why do people pick up attitude from other people that favours only them. If the father use 2 open door 4 d mother, I bet d hubby wouldn't have learnt that cos it is d other way round. I would want 2 know whether d issue had been discussed with each other b4 marriage. I am just looking at how OP will sustain d kneeling down all her life even wen she ll b 36weeks gone. I have learnt one thing in life, do watsoever works 4 u 2 make ur marriage work. I just hope d man will b able 2 sustain his part if d woman comes up with "this is d way I want it syndrome".

Is it after u place d food on d dinnig table u kneel down, or u kneel down and streches ur hands up to place d food on d table? Hmmm. Orishirishi.

bukatyne: Well, you know there is this view that a woman must make all sacrifices and take all bull to make 'her' marriage work like she wedded herself on the altar.

yes, it is very easy for some men to quickly say that this woman dont love her man if she doesnt do that, lol! as i said earlier, the fact that a man asks such request is not what is amazing here, it is that some women will gladly do it (and much more) in the name of staying in a union, supposedly happy.............. i call them the "married at all cost" invisible zombies.

MRbrownJAY: so many people asked the OP the most important question and she has yet to reply. when did you learn about this insanity? well before marriage or the very day you got married?

Lol @ insanity. It's true everyone has asked the most important question.

Men like this don't come out of the blue to make ridiculous demands.

What won't we hear in 2013?

First of all i want to thank kristina for the post she made on how dr khakani helped her in bringing back her lover before christmas. At first when i saw the posting i was so happy and in the other hand so scared,That this might not be real, Then i decided to give it a try in which i contacted dr khakani and told him how my lover left me for another lady for the past 3years and i have been lonely and depressed without him,So i told him if he has helped anyone called kristina and he said yes, that was the lady he helped in bringing back her lover before christmas.i said good and i told him that if he can help me in bringing back my own lover,He laughed and said once i have contacted him that my problem will be solved.He said that my lover will be back to me within 24hours and do an unexpected thing for me. i said really, Truly when the 24hours was completed i got a text from someone saying am sorry then i decided to call the number i saw it was my lover Steve voice.i was so happy he was begging me on phone, That he is ready to do anything that will make me happy in life,So i told him to come over which he did,As he was coming he came with a brand new Car as gift I was so happy and made me had access to his account to prove to me that he is not going to leave me for another lady,Am so happy today and am also thanking kristina for posting this early. Dr khakani you are truly a man of your word. He can also make a barren woman get pregnant and have her own child, he can cure cancer, diabetes or any kind of disease or sickness and solve any kind of problems in this world. Friends you can contact dr khakani on his private khakanibestsolutioncentre12@gmail.com or cell number +2348062216903.

samoje: i just got married some couples of months ago,he is loving,caring,we play ad crack jokes together like brother and sister, but the greatest problem and challenge i have with him is kneeling down for him.But i find it difficult to do which has generated problem since i got married and my husband is ready to dissolve the marriage if i refuse to obey him.somebody please advice what do i do, should i obey him irrespective of what my friends are saying.advice pls

U had better fight for it, but amicably. Never involve ur friends ok. It is well.

Sorry to say but,your husband is a big joker. Will you being on your knees put more money in his pocket? This is really crazy..

In 2013??
People like this still exist??
Blimey!

Seriously, I'm beginning to believe all naija women should have a set of standard rules for their relationships.

This is utter rubbish.

samoje: i just got married some couples of months ago,he is loving,caring,we play ad crack jokes together like brother and sister, but the greatest problem and challenge i have with him is kneeling down for him.My husband made a law that when i want to give him food i must be on my two knees to present his food on the table, be on my two kneels to greet him every morning and also to be on my two kneels while presenting water for him to drink because that is how his mother has been doing to his father as a sign of respect and also want his wife to do the same to him and also raise up children that will learn from their mother.But i find it difficult to do which has generated problem since i got married and my husband is ready to dissolve the marriage if i refuse to obey him.somebody please advice what do i do, should i obey him irrespective of what my friends are saying.advice pls

Obviously, higher % of todays wife have found it hard to always reflect humility and submissvness. In those days, u find wives looking for what makes their husbands happy and once they know, that's the key to get whatever they want. But today is not as everything has been diluted with foreign culture, marriage rules are not even followed, everyone just do what pleases them.
Op, in africa kneeling is a symbol of respct, it might not be in europe, so not been so in europe does not make it a bulshit.
If your gets convinced that you are humble to kneeling, pls do it.
Its just painful that this days women bear respect and submission in abstract rather showing it fully in actions.
It is well
Kneel and you will get more of his cares as you have mentioned he does.

Witty07:
Obviously, higher % of todays wife have found it hard to always reflect humility and submissvness. In those days, u find wives looking for what makes their husbands happy and once they know, that's the key to get whatever they want. But today is not as everything has been diluted with foreign culture, marriage rules are not even followed, everyone just do what pleases them.

hmm... u want them to feast upon your head
Submission? Humility? This is the new age of women standing on their own
They dont need men.. men mstcheww

In your next world, no marry a bush man wey grow inside village

samoje: i just got married some couples of months ago,he is loving,caring,we play ad crack jokes together like brother and sister, but the greatest problem and challenge i have with him is kneeling down for him.My husband made a law that when i want to give him food i must be on my two knees to present his food on the table, be on my two kneels to greet him every morning and also to be on my two kneels while presenting water for him to drink because that is how his mother has been doing to his father as a sign of respect and also want his wife to do the same to him and also raise up children that will learn from their mother.But i find it difficult to do which has generated problem since i got married and my husband is ready to dissolve the marriage if i refuse to obey him.somebody please advice what do i do, should i obey him irrespective of what my friends are saying.advice pls

If you knew all these subservient things he desires from a wife and still married him,why do you want him to change all of a sudden,a couple of months into the bondage?
FYI,no woman I know does that for her husband
I have only seen it in nollywood movies
My grandfathers wives never knelt before him
My great uncles never had any woman kneeling
My parents are still living and my mom never knelt before my dad for one day neither do my aunts or uncles wives
I don't kneel before anyone including my husband to serve them food let alone kneel to watch the bolus of garri go down their throat
I have no friends or acquaintances that do such and have never even heard it from any stories
So this your case is very unusual

The only culture I hear of people kneeling is the Yoruba culture and it is the young ones kneeling to greet the older ones as a sign of resect in that culture.
Most times they curtsey and don't kneel
And I have never heard of any that kneels to serve food or watch a husband eat

What culture is this if I may ask
In Nigeria
2013?
God forbid

Dlemah: Number one fault..neva u tel ur friends woteva goes on in ur mariage...NEVER

Kneeling down at al times!!! Seriously,u must fight dis ..if i were in ur shoes,i wud neva do such..d limit i can go is kneeling half way nt fully down on my kness..a man n wife are equal as one..ure nt a wife slave.d moment u take dis shit frm him,u wud end up doin oda thngs dt dont make sense...culture my ass..and dont forget if u start kneeling u might end up havin joint diseases.(.acc to research)..so wot happenes wen ure heavily pregnant,wud u kp kneeling down..babe,just bend ur knees half way,dont knel down fully...i wonda wot men thnk wen they get marid?

In as much as I do not fully subscribe to the kneeling down thing on personal grounds, I just wanted to correct the assertion highlighted above. It's not right and it has been the cause of most fracas in marriages. The man and his wife are not equal in marriage.

Where is the op?

degurl: Where is the op?

Probably on her knees serving ewedu and amala

Ala kwa

yhemmite: ur hubby shd be from ondo state. Dts Dr way of life. U had better fight for it, but amicably. Never involve ur friends ok. It is well.

Which kain nonsense be this?
Are you alright at all?

He shud av married a slave den. Even if ur gonna kneel, it shud be out of ur own volition n not cos some husband DEMANDS it. U shud av tackled dis yl u guys were dating cos am sure he wud av xhibited xtics as ur seein now. U can just bend ur knees a bit instead of goin down fully.
Btw,r u also supposed to kneel wen opening d gate 4 him to drive in? *jst wondering*

Is he a traditional ruler? How can somebody be coming up with such trash in this 21st century?

babyosisi:

I don't kneel before anyone including my husband to serve them food let alone kneel to watch the bolus of garri go down their throat
I have no friends or acquaintances that do such and have never even heard it from any stories

What culture is this if I may ask
In Nigeria
2013?
God forbid

No two marriages are the same. Because you or your friends don't do it does not mean it is the standard for all marriages.

Good a thing you are married. Put yourself in the OP's shoes before answering the question below or give further advice:

If your husband requires the same from you will you ignore him and choose to rather end the marriage or will you acquiesce to his request and have a peaceful and happy marriage?

chiteny:

No two marriages are the same. Because you or your friends don't do it does not mean it is the standard for all marriages.

Good a thing you are married. Put yourself in the OP's shoes before answering the question below or give further advice:

If your husband requires the same from you will you ignore him and choose to rather end the marriage or will you acquiesce to his request and have a peaceful and happy marriage?

If the wife kneels for the hubby against her wish, the home might be 'peaceful' but it can never be happy. What husband is requiring something the wife doesn't like? Does the hubby put her feelings into consideration or does he think he's still in dating stage where people do all sort of 'testing'? How would a hubby spring up such an idea? What does it benefit him?

If the husband is so desperate to be kneeled for, he should sell the idea to wifey and not force her. Tell her what the kneeling would do for their home, how it would improve their relationship etc. When the wifey sees the light, she would kneel with joy

It's things like this that make a lot of women think marriage is a bondage

The marriage would be peaceful as we both agree. The wife may not buy the idea now, but over time she will get be happy in her marriage (and not regret it) after she has acquiesced to the request of "Oga" and "Oga" has turned away from initiating a separation and has started showing her the usual unreserved affection. Later she could talk to him about it in more relaxed atmosphere if she does not still like the idea, stating gently her cons.

No one is in bondage my dear. Its marriage. "Oga" was brought up seeing that act as the way of life (all through his life). It will not take "by fire by force" to change his orientation. This is what many fail to see.

Please understand that i am not siding "Oga" as i am male. I don't even subscribe to anyone kneeling for me. But always know that no two marriages are the same whether stone age or "flying saucer" age.

OP, its your choice. If you go ahead to use "by fire by force" and "21st century ideology" on a "stone age mentality" and it works for you, God bless you. I am just airing my view on your distress to bring good solution.

chiteny: The marriage would be peaceful as we both agree. The wife may not buy the idea now, but over time she will get be happy in her marriage (and not regret it) after she has acquiesced to the request of "Oga" and "Oga" has turned away from initiating a separation and has started showing her the usual unreserved affection. Later she could talk to him about it in more relaxed atmosphere if she does not still like the idea, stating gently her cons.

No one is in bondage my dear. Its marriage. "Oga" was brought up seeing that act as the way of life (all through his life). It will not take "by fire by force" to change his orientation. This is what many fail to see.

Please understand that i am not siding "Oga" as i am male. I don't even subscribe to anyone kneeling for me. But always know that no two marriages are the same whether stone age or "flying saucer" age.

OP, its your choice. If you go ahead to use "by fire by force" and "21st century ideology" on a "stone age mentality" and it works for you, God bless you. I am just airing my view on your distress to bring good solution.

What is peace without happiness esp in marriage? If she's having problems at work, she can brush it off and look forward to going home to her hubby. Now it is the hubby that is tormenting her. The poster didn't specify is they hubby told her b/4 marriage or if he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day. How can he even say kneel or divorce? like seriously?

I like you said that it is marriage ad not bondage. That means that the couple would come together and decide what works for them, not so? Did the hubby consult the wife before telling her to kneel down? Just waking up one morning and telling her kneel or divorce is tantamount to bondage.

Tell me, do you really think she can leave her hubby on the ground of kneeling or no?

You know she can't, therefore, she is in bondage.

bukatyne:

The poster didn't specify is they hubby told her b/4 marriage or if he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day.

this is the key information
without that we cant say much really

Threads like this, especially on a Nigerian website (not that you’d see threads like these on any other websites) always fascinate me because they almost always produce responses like these…which are even more fascinating.

Witty07:
Obviously, higher % of todays wife have found it hard to always reflect humility and submissvness. In those days, u find wives looking for what makes their husbands happy and once they know, that's the key to get whatever they want. But today is not as everything has been diluted with foreign culture, marriage rules are not even followed, everyone just do what pleases them.
Op, in africa kneeling is a symbol of respct, it might not be in europe, so not been so in europe does not make it a bulshit.
If your gets convinced that you are humble to kneeling, pls do it.
Its just painful that this days women bear respect and submission in abstract rather showing it fully in actions.
It is well
Kneel and you will get more of his cares as you have mentioned he does.

So we have a thread where the responses have been somewhat divided evenly along gender lines for Nay and Yeah. Actually in reality, we've had more responses of Yea (i.e kneel down for your husband) from women than we have from men and to be to be more actually in realitier, the most vocal responses for Nay (i.e what the eff) is from a man. . . .yet in the face of all of these, this lovely man comes along and slams women. . . I’m sorry, MODERN women on knowing nothing about submission and humility? So again on a thread where majority of the women on the thread advised OP to do what her husband wants to keep him and her marriage, women are still the ones unwilling to make marriage work because they are of the modern day.

And the response to the men who are like WTF, called OP’s husband’s request asking his wife to kneel down when serving his food in this day and age INSANE – NADA, NOTHING, ZILCH, ZERO!!! It’s like it never happened.

Nope it is all about the modern women allowing their modernity to destroy marriages.

Fascinating isn't it?!!

bukatyne:

What is peace without happiness esp in marriage?

Ah! Sister mine, the mistake you make is assuming Marriage is about TWO people's happiness. Once you get that it is only about one person (the husband) then you will stop asking logical questions like these.

Easy.