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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING (8003 Views)
My Marriage Is Crashing, I Think I Hate Him...Help / My 2 Months Old Marriage Is Crashing - HELP ME / Help.. My 4 Years Old Marriage Is Gradually Crashing Out. (2) (3) (4)
URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by samoje: 2:39pm On May 14, 2013 |
i just got married some couples of months ago,he is loving,caring,we play ad crack jokes together like brother and sister, but the greatest problem and challenge i have with him is kneeling down for him.My husband made a law that when i want to give him food i must be on my two knees to present his food on the table, be on my two kneels to greet him every morning and also to be on my two kneels while presenting water for him to drink because that is how his mother has been doing to his father as a sign of respect and also want his wife to do the same to him and also raise up children that will learn from their mother.But i find it difficult to do which has generated problem since i got married and my husband is ready to dissolve the marriage if i refuse to obey him.somebody please advice what do i do, should i obey him irrespective of what my friends are saying.advice pls 1 Like |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by BOSS6: 2:47pm On May 14, 2013 |
Do you do the kneeling down when he wants some sex? its called dogg..y., 3 Likes |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Dlemah: 3:12pm On May 14, 2013 |
Number one fault..neva u tel ur friends woteva goes on in ur mariage...NEVER Kneeling down at al times!!! Seriously,u must fight dis ..if i were in ur shoes,i wud neva do such..d limit i can go is kneeling half way nt fully down on my kness..a man n wife are equal as one..ure nt a wife slave.d moment u take dis shit frm him,u wud end up doin oda thngs dt dont make sense...culture my ass..and dont forget if u start kneeling u might end up havin joint diseases.(.acc to research)..so wot happenes wen ure heavily pregnant,wud u kp kneeling down..babe,just bend ur knees half way,dont knel down fully...i wonda wot men thnk wen they get marid? 4 Likes |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by samoje: 3:55pm On May 14, 2013 |
I just got married some couples of months ago,he is loving,caring,we play ad crack jokes together like brother and sister, but the greatest problem and challenge i have with him is kneeling down for him.My husband made a law that when i want to give him food i must be on my two knees to present his food on the table, be on my two kneels to greet him every morning and also to be on my two kneels while presenting water for him to drink because that is how his mother has been doing to his father as a sign of respect and also want his wife to do the same to him and also raise up children that will learn from their mother.But i find it difficult to do which has generated problem since i got married and my husband is ready to dissolve the marriage if i refuse to obey him.somebody please advice what do i do, should i obey him irrespective of what my friends are saying.advice pls[/quote] |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 4:24pm On May 14, 2013 |
samoje: i just got married some couples of months ago,he is loving,caring,we play ad crack jokes together like brother and sister, but the greatest problem and challenge i have with him is kneeling down for him.My husband made a law that when i want to give him food i must be on my two knees to present his food on the table, be on my two kneels to greet him every morning and also to be on my two kneels while presenting water for him to drink because that is how his mother has been doing to his father as a sign of respect and also want his wife to do the same to him and also raise up children that will learn from their mother.But i find it difficult to do which has generated problem since i got married and my husband is ready to dissolve the marriage if i refuse to obey him.somebody please advice what do i do, should i obey him irrespective of what my friends are saying.advice pls Did he tell you BEFORE marriage that it's compulsory for u to kneel down to serve him? I honestly do not think it's right for a wife to kneel down for her husband, but if it means that much to your husband, and if you agreed to it in the first place, then maybe you should re-consider. And please, don't listen to what your friends are saying. Just do what you think is right for your family. But men sha . . 5 Likes |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by biolabee(m): 4:28pm On May 14, 2013 |
Is it kneeling that is now the problem?>! I think say na cheating or he impregnated the house girl or he stole your savings and wasted it or he is a chronic alcoholic Be careful what you wish for Aside from this kneeling is there any other problem If none, why dont u kneel and miove forward with your life You now bring it to NL to the land of people who will abuse you and call you a fool when at the end of it all, na only know wey the marital pinch for your shoes dey o... Ok O Personally insisting on this in this modern age is weird and threatening the marriage is even weirder But my advise to you is this You are a woman and woman use thier wiles to get what they want The more you set urself against him, the more he digs in ish 4 Likes |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 4:28pm On May 14, 2013 |
If kneeling down will save your marriage then do it. 5 Likes |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 4:31pm On May 14, 2013 |
If kneeling down will save your marriage, then do it. |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 4:35pm On May 14, 2013 |
Why do I feel like this OP is a male regular trying to catch fun today? 7 Likes |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Monicasque(f): 4:56pm On May 14, 2013 |
i would like to ask if he did mention this condition before the marriage or if its something he just introduced now after the wedding. Its unfair for him to expect you to follow this without him introducing it before the wedding coz you would have had time to decided as to whether to prepair for the new behaviour or as to divorce him even before marriage. he is being unfair really coz now i sense he thinks you are desparate for his marriaqe. please answer me on this question. other ladies do not have a problem with kneeling to their man as they love doing it anyway but if they never made him to get used to it from start why would they be forced to do something they never even expected from scratch. this is why people must always take time to know their potential future spouses before marriage and never rush even if it might seem like everyone has gotten married and you are a spinster. take time to know him. but OP for you i would say a wife has gotta do what a wife has gotta do. kneel for him if that is what he wants or divorce him or seek marriage counselling were both of you can talk about what to expect each other since its clear you never did pre marital counselling. |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 5:55pm On May 14, 2013 |
Which kind gist be this again U no date this Man before you jumped into marriage?where you meet this kind man in this modern age ?threatening divorce because of kneeling or not kneeling?can you do that for the rest of your life? if not, better let him do his worst. |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by greatgod2012(f): 6:33pm On May 14, 2013 |
samoje: i just got married some couples of months ago,he is loving,caring,we play ad crack jokes together like brother and sister, but the greatest problem and challenge i have with him is kneeling down for him.My husband made a law that when i want to give him food i must be on my two knees to present his food on the table, be on my two kneels to greet him every morning and also to be on my two kneels while presenting water for him to drink because that is how his mother has been doing to his father as a sign of respect and also want his wife to do the same to him and also raise up children that will learn from their mother.But i find it difficult to do which has generated problem since i got married and my husband is ready to dissolve the marriage if i refuse to obey him.somebody please advice what do i do, should i obey him irrespective of what my friends are saying.advice pls did he asked you this while dating, if yes, then do not stop, if no, tell him your mind, even though im the type that kneeling for hubby doesnt really bother me as such, (only that hubby isnt always comffy with it), infact i do it alot, but since im comfortable with it, im ok, if you are not comfortable with it, humbly tell him, this is no big deal, kneeling or no kneeling shouldnt get to the point of thinking about divorce, however, if he insist, compromise and do it, he will soon get tired of it, or may soon feel ashamed about it, even, if i were you, i will always embarass him with kneeling down sef, anytime hes in the group of his friends, na so, i go just dey kneel like housegirl, everywhere and everytime hes in the midst of people, i will make sure i embarass him with my kneeling down, he is the one that will come and beg me to stop it when the shame becomes too much for him. Secondly, never tell your friends what happens in your marriage, they can mislead you, beware of all those "i cant take it" friends, you will be amazed that most of them accept hundredfold of what they told you they cant accept, so, shine your eyes, no two marriages are the same, what works for you may not work for them and vice-versa. Even, it is unhealthy of you to even be thinking of what people think or say about you, so be wise, keep your marriage, the best way you could and never allow other parties to rule your marriage for you. May God help you and grant you the wisdom needed to keep your marriage........ Amen. 15 Likes |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by biolabee(m): 7:07pm On May 14, 2013 |
greatgod2012: That is the koko.. - Great post as usual! 1 Like |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 7:12pm On May 14, 2013 |
Na wa o! Which kain post kon be dis one nau? OP, why is kneeling down such a big deal to you? I'd choose kneeling down over losing a good marriage everyday of the year |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by bebe2(f): 7:40pm On May 14, 2013 |
so dats enuf to crash ur marraige? wat is wrong in kneeling down for ur husband?? i do it especially wen we r with our friends and my hubby will say no mind am o, no be so she dey do for house. u better behave urself o, n stop narrating ur new marraige to pple. my pple say wen yam dey white for small pikin, make e use 2 hand cover am. a word is enuf for the wise. 1 Like |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by oluplus(m): 9:27pm On May 14, 2013 |
greatgod2012:Mama has spoken. At Op,Here are your 2 options; kneel down and save your marriage or you follow your friend's advice and be single again. Make your choice. |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 9:37pm On May 14, 2013 |
so not kneeling down is now grounds for divorce?? wow 2 Likes |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 9:45pm On May 14, 2013 |
. |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 10:04pm On May 14, 2013 |
there is nothin wrong with kneeling down and servin ur husband. all those people up there sayin they wont do such, u wont be surprised if they do more than that or are still single, and wont see anythin wrong with u joining the train. But if u feel that pride/ stubbornness wont allow u do that, then do ur wish and let him do his. Ur world not mine |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by dayokanu(m): 10:06pm On May 14, 2013 |
I was about taking your sides until I saw that it was your friends who were actually advising you not to |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 10:17pm On May 14, 2013 |
Most times people want to emulate their parents marriage because they believe their parents had the perfect marriage. However, like and other here have said kneel down to save your marriage and over do in infront of his friends. Truth is that shame will catch him, after his friends start asking him how far ?. He may tell u to stop doing it in front of his friends, that's when u can stand your ground on this issue. |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by SpicyMimi(f): 10:44pm On May 14, 2013 |
My dear, do it...u'd get used to it later on n your hubby will surely get tired of this someday is just a matter of time. Infact I gv u just 2mnths Äπϑ kneelng wd b an history in your home. He might not really be concerned about the kneeling ish, he just wnts u to obey him and that's all, so obey like a good wife now he will surely compromise with u someday. |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by vanitty: 10:50pm On May 14, 2013 |
Reminds me of this proverb "you can force me to prostrate and I will but inside me I am still standing tall" You are young in your marriage, start to set your boundaries now. If he is willing to dissolve the marriage because of this issue, then obviously there is something fundamentally wrong with your relationship. I for one will just stand my ground and say NO, he will forever be threatening divorce to get his way if you let him. Anyway entirely my opinion. You know your limits. Good luck 5 Likes |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 7:17am On May 15, 2013 |
11 Likes |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by horny4u(f): 7:23am On May 15, 2013 |
chaircover: First of all, never proclaim negativity on your life. Your marriage will not crash in Jesus Name. |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by eagleeye2: 8:01am On May 15, 2013 |
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Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 9:43am On May 15, 2013 |
Kneeling is not really the issue, I wonder what next he will force you to do after succumbing to kneeling. if threatening divorce is this casual to him ,them be ready for a long chain Of "if you don't do this I divorce you" drama. 3 Likes |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 10:38am On May 15, 2013 |
@op,where I worship,I observd dat the GO's wife used to bow anytime she want to give him something. I equally observed that she normally answer him 'sir'whenever she want to address him.they r not yoruba so its not cultural.I don't know her reason anyway.I went home and wen I saw my husband I said' welcome sir' he eyed me suspiciously and didn't say anything.after dinner I said 'thank u sir'that was wen he told me that he is not d type.mind u I didn't grow with that at all. So what's my point,if its not cultural and he want u to do it,pls do.I initiated what I don't do cos I wanna pls my hubby. Like somebody said,do it everywhere,u will score a big goal both in and outside d home.maybe one day he will get tired. Provided that's d only problem, shikena! Ground here I come! I can even lie flat for peace to be. Kill his inflated ego with wisdom, Those ur friends r waitn to take over as soon as u back d door. 1 Like |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by baby124: 10:53am On May 15, 2013 |
Was this something you did before marriage? I find it hard that with the relationship you had/have he wouldn't have told you what to expect in marriage. I find it strange and odd, and I have been trying to picture the scenario since you put it up. I don't know, but this arrangement wouldn't work for me. How long will I do it? It must be a joke right? When you see him in the morning, instead of a big kiss good morning, do you get on your knees too? Or its just food time? Na wa o. His mum must have started it on her own, and now he is forcing you to do what another woman chose to do for her husband? Where do you even serve the food? So after placing it on the dining table, you kneel down until he sits down?Lmao. Like ileobatojo said, this is a super story. |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 11:05am On May 15, 2013 |
so many people asked the OP the most important question and she has yet to reply. when did you learn about this insanity? well before marriage or the very day you got married? 2 Likes |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by Nobody: 11:06am On May 15, 2013 |
byvan: Kneeling is not really the issue, I wonder what next he will force you to do after succumbing to kneeling. if threatening divorce is this casual to him ,them be ready for a long chain Of "if you don't do this I divorce you" drama.Sis,I hv to disagree wt u.he didn't just initiate it from d blues.his parents were doin it.its obvious he grow up with it and they r his role model.this kind of issue need to be handled with caution. Come to think of it,she can confide in his close friend and they may come up with a plan.she will constantly do it b4 them,I tell u he will beg her to stop, cos they will so laugh at him that it will become embarassin to him. U know guys,they can turture u if they want and no man will want this kind abeg.even in beer parlour if they r type dat normally hang out! |
Re: URGENT ADVICE PLEASE, MY MARRIAGE IS CRASHING by bukatyne(f): 11:09am On May 15, 2013 |
MRbrownJAY: so many people asked the OP the most important question and she has yet to reply. when did you learn about this insanity? well before marriage or the very day you got married? Lol! at insanity |
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