Idowuogbo:
She go rust for ya house.

noholdsbarred: It still exists. I'm about to get married to an Akwa-Ibom girl and the parents are asking for all sorts.
The list even includes a BIG generator, mattress, a complete suit and shoe among other things. I just had to let them know how displeased I was with the list and urged my fiancée to talk to her parents. She was a bit resistant to talking with her parents at first, but after persuasion from other respectable people we both know, she did talk to her parents. The parents later called me to say that the list is negotiable and that they are only interested in the happiness of their daughter. Right now, I'm relating with people from the same tribe to cut down to list to a reasonable form before any negotiation begins.

Ticha: My father is not the oldest male in the family so I called his uncle and discussed with him. I informed stylishly in the discussion that:

1. I am coming home primarily to pay my respects to the family and not sully their name so they should please reciprocate
2. Any mention of box or clothes list, I will cancel my ticket cos I'm already living with him
3. We have paid for the white wedding (didn't marry in church, had a civil ceremony in the UK) so if dem no gree, I will still be married in the eyes of the law
4. We have no money!

He agreed with me and said the family's desire is to see all their daughters happily married and if that is what I wanted, I'll get it. I didn't believe initially. He had some years earlier almost stopped my cousin's wedding midway cos the grooms' mother's goat ate his crops and she refused to pay donkey years before that day!

Come wedding day, no mention of clothes, boxes, yams, goat or even palm wine. Yams, goats and palmie were still supplied by the groom and his small delegation that came. Bride price was N200 negotiated down from N50k. I was even happy to plan with my hubby to pretend to walk out if they were intractable! Luckily, it didn't come to that The total cost of our traditional wedding was N250k.

Ladies, it is in our hands. I always tell my female friends that our blessings are not supposed to make us suffer. Marriage is indeed a blessing, why would I want to spoil it by not speaking up to remove any angst and potential worries for the sake of just one day that will be remembered by only both of us?

biolabee:

carry go jaawe... since you wan recoup your investment on top am
If the man tie hin neck like goat and lock up for guard room... e no kukuma consign u
you don make d money ....

if the grandkids no know u... no wahala too...

#Team I Refuse To Be Broke

claremont: This obsolete tradition of obtaining bride-price creates the impression that a bride is a commodity to be bought and sold.

So why shouldn't a man who paid for his wife treat her like a property e.g. furniture, car e.t.c?! He paid for her, he can treat her any way he chooses to.

tivta:

This is what i keep telling most of these female liabilities. If a mam buys you a phone, pays for you hair, takes to buy clothes, go to the cinema etc I mean do trivial things for you and all you can afford to do is buy him boxers of 1500, dont complain when he emotionally and physically abuses you. Women if you want the respect of men meet him HALF way. HE WHO PAYS THE PIPER DICTATES THE TUNE...

mondi_cheeks: I have no say... My father is a man who believes in living on his own means not sucking other pple dry to gain selfish interests

ballabriggs:

Correct man, you sabi the level. I no wan person wey go carry my pikin go dey carry firewood for village.

For where now, who side? I want a mega rich, Dangotesque, Adenugaesque, Maideribe (if e like make e use am do 50th wife) or Ifeanyi Uba kind of man for my pikin.

If OBJ come sef I fit consider

ballabriggs:

Wetin consign you there now?

Where were you when I paid her mamas own?

Where were you when I paid her fees from nursery to primary?

Where were you when I dey change her napkin when her mama no dey?

Now you wan use your reggae spoil my R&B.

amebo gbeborun, olofofo, tatafo. Una done see dem, enemy of progress.

As I talk, if my pikin no reach that amount, abeg go kuramo go marry your own. KAPISH!!! I must to get a positive NPV on my project.

yellowpawpaw:
Yorubas don't pay much like u said but d owambes,asoebi and d likes will still milk d man dry.

modele2: I didn't and would never advocate a woman paying part of her bride price. Men have short memories. They would even use it to insult you in future. It's a one off payment. They should manage. However the dowery should not be unreasonable.

2buff:

Are you not an Ibo girl?
LIES! It's a trap fellas!

2buff:

Are you not an Ibo girl?
LIES! It's a trap fellas!

kulyie: The yorubas dont ask for much.i remember when i was way younger,i asked my mom why yorubas dont demand much and just allow you to pay whatever comes from your mind.she told me that if we say the man should start paying,honestly he would not be able to afford you because you are invaluable.no amount of money a man pays can buy the affection,struggle,guidiance and passion of a parent to her daughter aside from the money she has spent from antenatal,to diapers to school fees,text books all the way from primary to university,in short no man can buy the love i have for you moreover you are not a productor property to be 'bought' and so because we dont want any man to treat you like his property,we dont demand,if at all we demand,not much,because we have trained you to be a wife.secondly if the man abuses you in the marriage or subjects you to violence,we will have the justification to intervene and give him back his bride price but if he collects so much,we will not have the moral justification.i dont know why other tribes collect so much o,but i know we yorubas dont collect much.infact when my sister got married apart from the yam,2 packs of sweet,5packs of salt,6 pieces of buiscuits etc in hampers,he gave his wife's siblings 2,ooonaira each OUT OF HIS OWN VOLITION.NO ONE ASKED HIM

yellowpawpaw:
Yorubas don't pay much like u said but d owambes,asoebi and d likes will still milk d man dry.

yellowpawpaw:
Yorubas don't pay much like u said but d owambes,asoebi and d likes will still milk d man dry.

Vikin:

It depends on the tribe, in kalabari..the bride price is damn expensive. Very expensive that you can go to borrow from bank!

Some people try to escape it though but if the lady should die, even at old age, they have to bury her in her home town!

Got friends there

asmaua:

Yeah it is true dey have two types of traditional wedding the normal one which u are marrying just her body so when she dies her remains are return back to fathers house and the IYA which is very expensive where u marry both the flesh and bones in dis situation when she dies her husband buries her in his own place cos they have paid for both her flesh and borns

My mum is Kalabari

biolabee:

It is ooo... YAY

Azonto

Jah be praised

dancing azonto...

Idowuogbo:
Jesus is Lord!!!!

kulyie: hahahah na owanmbe things no make me see this one o na me una finish like this ok o,no problem

Turbocharged:

Should I come then?