A beautiful young woman, on an international flight, asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course you may. What can I do for you?"

"Well, I bought this expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid that they'll confiscate it from me. Is there anyway that you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"Would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, the young lady let the priest go ahead of her. The Customs Officer asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The Officer thought this answer strange, so he asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, till date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the Officer said, "God bless you, Father, go ahead."

A lady came to see her doctor and the following conversation ensued:
LADY: Doctor please call in my husband.
DOCTOR: Trust me, I am a gentleman.
LADY: No doc, your nurse is sitting outside alone and my husband is not a gentleman.

Akpos and Ochuko were discussing the new secretary at their office.
Akpos to Ochuko: Man, I went on a date with her last Tuesday and we had wonderful seks. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!

Two days later.

Ochuko to Akpos: Well, I went on a date with her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!


Akpos calls up the Hotel manager from his room.

AKPOS: Please come fast, I was having an argument with my wife and she says shes gonna jump out of the window.
MANAGER: Sir, I am sorry I can't help you, this seems to be a personal issue.
AKPOS: You Idiot, this is a maintenance issue. The window isn't opening!


An eager young man entered his prospective boss's office for an interview, said the boss "One thing our company is very particular about is cleanliness. I hope you wiped your shoe on the door mat while coming in?"

"Yes sir," the young man replied promptly.

Back came the rejoinder, "One more thing we're very particular about is honesty. There is no door mat outside!"


When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she told her mate.

"Eve, honey, you're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You know you're the only woman on earth."

The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest. It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.

"Counting your ribs," said Eve.

During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.

"Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks."Will you get me a bowl of ice cream ?"

"Sure."

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it ?" she asks.

"No, I can remember it."

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it ?"

Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down. I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

Then he toddles to the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment.

Ochuko decided to go mountaineering with his buddy, Akpos. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible storm. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained, "I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Ochuko said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. In the morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of mountaineering. About nine months later, Ochuko got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on that weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Akpos and asked, "Akpos, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our holiday up north about 9 months ago?"

"Yes, I do." Said Akpos. "Did you, err, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?" "Well, um, yes!," Akpos said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did." "And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?" Akpos's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything!"

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?... I know you smiled...now keep that smile for the rest of the day!)