I am a mother of one, and expecting the 2nd. Before I became a mother, I detaste seeing a little child slap an adult back, I used to assume that the child is been overpamperred and that the mother is not doing a very good job. Now my baby is in the habbit of slapping both children and adult. I understand at the age of 2, he cannot take correction through spanking (which he gives back unless I add pressure to make it more painful, then he stops) I don't want him to behave like that in public, how do I control this now? Good parents, over to you....

Question is: Where did your son learn how to slap people from?

Children learn by emulating those around them. If you or anyone else who has close contact with your son behaves inappropriately, your son is bound to copy the example set before him.

No child is born 'bad'. Children are blank slates. What gets 'written' on those slates is dependant on what they pick up from their parents / those around them.

Treat the source of the problem and not the symptoms.

Thanks very much. I will blame his aunty for this then, though she thought she was only being playful, and she no longer visit as often. But at 2 years, there is hope for correction especially before his sibbling comes forth, how then, do I address it? Like I said, the aunt in question visits less now, and I ll still warn her against such. Am equally praying, but I need wisdom tips! Thanks again.

I try not to judge ever because with what you judge others they will judge you. Seeing other kids doing it as over pampered kids and now you cannot believe it is happening to you too.

Let your son be....simply correct via repeatedly telling him it is wrong and why it is wrong.....he is a human growing up nd will make lots of mistakes...only self less love without what we will people say that will help this situation.

Noted, thanks.

Seerer: Thanks very much. I will blame his aunty for this then, though she thought she was only being playful, and she no longer visit as often. But at 2 years, there is hope for correction especially before his sibbling comes forth, how then, do I address it? Like I said, the aunt in question visits less now, and I ll still warn her against such. Am equally praying, but I need wisdom tips! Thanks again.

You're welcome, Seerer.

Now playful or not, you can see the consequences of his aunt's action. Your son is going to have to 'unlearn' what he's been taught, but you're going to have to exercise a lot of patience and correct him with love. Luckily for you, as you rightly mentioned, he is only two - so the younger the child, the better / easier to make adjustments.

Now before I give you some tips, you must NEVER EVER hit or spank your son. Why? Simply because doing so implies that:

~ you are out of control.

~ hitting is an acceptable behaviour.

~ feelings should be suppressed and not vented (a toddler is expressing feelings in the only way they are able).

What you need to do whenever your son hits or slaps someone:

~ Take your child's hands in yours and say gently but firmly, "No hitting. I know you're angry, but we don't hit people. Hitting hurts. I don't want to play with you any more because you hit me." Then completely ignore him for about a minute or two and go about your business as though he's not even there. You'll find that most 2 year olds would do anything for attention and don't like being ignored. Hopefully, this method might work, so it's worth trying it out. Just remember to keep calm when correcting him. It shows you are the adult and are the one in control of the situation.

~ Also, whenever your son behaves aggressively, be clear with him that it's not his anger you disapprove of, but his violent expression of it. Don't tell him not to get angry or not to show that he's angry. Like any other human being, he too needs to express himself, but he has to do it appropriately and in a non-violent manner.

~ Whenever he's upset, simply acknowledge his feelings — and perhaps even sympathize with it — but then you need to remind him that it's much more constructive to use his words to tell you why he's upset. This way, the two of you can try to come up with a solution to whatever's vexing him. Remember again to keep calm while doing this.

In all things, remember to be consistent and firm. Children need consistency, so what ever method you're going to adopt, be sure to stick to it and hopefully, within the next couple of days or weeks, he'll understand and the hitting out at others will stop.

Good Luck, Mami

Now before I give you some tips, you must NEVER EVER hit or spank your son.

Where in the world have you been woman?? Thot I'm the only one in this 'land' that HATES hitting !

Phew! Thank Gawd!

jidegirl12:

Where in the world have you been woman?? Thot I'm the only one in this 'land' that HATES hitting !

Phew! Thank Gawd!

I abhor violence. There are much better ways to correct a child than resorting to hitting / slapping / beating them.

But then again, parenting styles differ amongst parents. To each their own. I prefer not to raise my hands against my kids as a means of correction. There are better alternatives out there.

Efemena_xy:



I abhor violence. There are much better ways to correct a child than resorting to hitting / slapping / beating them.

But then again, parenting styles differ amongst parents. To each their own. I prefer not to raise my hands against my kids as a means of correction. There are better alternatives out there.

Give me a (((((((HUG))))))

PHEW!!! ( you live in UK right?, sorry just re-checking)

Yes, babes, I do.

(((triple hugz!)))

Am so happy @ Efemena, I see my son out of that situation already, all I needed was how best to go about it, and am convinced its settled. And I admit to my bad of hitting him, I understand it is not a good method. Tnx a million. @ Jidegirl, tnx too.

Efemena, mother of many sons. Nice tips.

Seerer: Am so happy @ Efemena, I see my son out of that situation already, all I needed was how best to go about it, and am convinced its settled. And I admit to my bad of hitting him, I understand it is not a good method. Tnx a million. @ Jidegirl, tnx too.

You're welcome Seerer.

Don't worry. We all make mistakes in our strive to be the 'perfect' mum. Whatever happened, happened with the best intentions at heart, but we learn from them. I'm still learning myself, you know. It's a continuous process.

Anyway, best of luck Mami

baby_123: Efemena, mother of many sons. Nice tips.

Thanks, my sister.

I would have spanked. I saw Jide on this thread and fled as she is a proponent of non violence. Anyway, babies have not come yet. So I am learning noni.

^^ And when the time comes, I'm sure you'll be an excellent mum.

Thabks! .